Were We Written in the Sand
...
Tarika sighed deeply before following Abhijeet inside the hotel room. Abhijeet locked the door behind them and turned towards her. She was still looking calm and there's no curiosity written over her face. He started to get angry. But he calmed down his nerve.
"You didn't have to do all these to make me come here. You could have simply asked." Tarika teased him to make the last strike
That's it.
"Oh! So, you would have come to me," he took small steps towards her as he continued, "to this hotel room if I had asked you to come? What are you hinting me Dr Tarika?" He grinned wickedly.
Tarika felt disgusted with his words. She took backsteps till she bumped to the wall.
"Stay away from me Abhijeet." Tarika said earnestly.
"But you said you would have-"
Tarika slapped him as he took his face closer to her.
"Why you want me to hate you?" Tarika shouted in agony. "Why?" She screamed in pain.
Abhijeet rubbed his cheek and smirked.
"I want you to love me."
"And I did. I did love you. But that part is over. I know you deserve explaination and I am ready to do that. But just stop with your nonsenses. You and me both know you can't do anything with me."
Abhijeet looked at her shocked. He was totally blank. Tarika looked at him with tinge of hatred ness and then walked away a little bit to answer her ringing phone.
"Yes Abhinash. Yeah... umm.. yeah, can you pick me up from hotel sunshine? Oh.. Abhijeet took me here for some cases. Yes, I am with him. Room no 707. Yes, thank you. Take care." She cut the call.
"You think I don't have the gut?" Abhijeet asked with rag. Abhinash's name was enough to boil his blood.
Tarika turned around.
"I am not trying to provoke you."
"Yes you are."
"Abhijeet, I understand if you want to talk but you trying to trap me in a awkward situation will get you nowhere and neither does our relationship."
"What sorta relationship has remained in between us Tarika? Nothing! You destroyed everything." Abhijeet shouted.
"I'am sorry "
"Sorry! That's all you can say?"
"What else you want from me?" Tarika said helplessly
"I want," Abhijeet walked towards her slowly and grabbed her by her shoulders, "you."
"Stop it Abhijeet " She tried to get rid of his grips.
"Scared?" He asked, grinning.
"Abhijeet I said... "
In a swift motion Abhijeet turned her around and threw her on bed with a jerk. Tarika was totally shocked. She wasn't scared but Abhijeet was doing too much and it seemed like he wasn't in his sense. She supported her weight on her elbows and tried to get up.
"Don't make me hate you Abhijeet." Tarika pleaded.
"Hate me if you cant love me " Abhijeet said with a deep voice.
Abhijeet leaned towards her, pushing her in bed. Abhijeet came in top of her but didn't let their body touch each other.
"Make me." Tarika said with rag. "I dare you." Two drops of tears made their way down her temple as she made direct eye contact with the man she had loved with all her heart.
Abhijeet looked deep into her eyes and caught into them. Her eyes neither have fear nor love for him. Only thing he could decipher was the possibilities of hateness which was waiting for a trigger from his side. He could never abuse her in his wildest dream. He never had touched her inappropriately in all these years and his intentions weren't to abuse her by any means. He just wanted to trigger feelings in her for him. And he didn't know how to do that. He thought he could achieve it with his this barbaric act. But let alone love she wasn't even scared.
As the rags in his eyes softens the possibilities of hateness in her eyes evaporated too. She traced his now wandering eye balls, as if daring him to look into her eyes and see she wasn't scared even an inch.
Amidst of all these what he discovered and also touched deeply was the trust she had in him. Even after all this time, all this drama. He became ashamed of his act and looked away. Slowly he retracted back from his position and stood up, not making any eye contacts with her.
Tarika's heart ached. There's the broken Abhijeet in front of her. The given up Abhijeet. And for a moment she felt guilt for destroying his stubbornness. He was better with arrogance. To see him like that was unbearable.
The door of the hotel room got opened with a bang and a ragged breath Abhinash stood there on threshold. His eyes were stuck on Tarika on hotel bed for a while and then it momentarilly stopped on Abhijeet. There was silence for few seconds till Abhijeet looked away smirking ruefully on his fate. So, that's Tarika's husband! He's doctor. He felt like laughing like a maniac but he controlled his urge and walked near the window. His chest felt heavy. He breathed in fresh air and closed his eyes for a while.
"Take your wife with you Dr Abhinash." Abhijeet said in a teasing tone.
Tarika stood up and proceeded to exit but within a fraction of second Abhinash reached to Abhijeet and held him by his collar.
"How dare you trap my wife into this room? And how dare you try to touch her?" Abhinash was ragged.
Abhijeet on the other hand just smiled.
"I'm warning you Abhijeet, stay away from my wife." Abhinash said, leaving his collar.
"Abhinash!" Tarika stepped in.
"Let's go from here." Abhinash leaded Tarika outside the room. Tarika turned a bit to have a last glance of Abhijeet who was looking at sky calmly with tears flowing down his both cheeks.
As the door closed behind them Abhijeet let himself fell down on ground as he totally broke down. With no more ambitions to fight for her his life started to seem meaningless to him. He didn't want to pass the night because he didn't know what to do the next day. His life appeared totally blank to him. And unrealistic.
"I can't live with your hateness Tarika. I can't. Don't hate me. Don't! Don't! Don't." He cried his heart out.
FLASHBACK ENDS..
0_0_0
O_o_O
Abhijeet came out of his past and found himself in garden, sitting at the lavish lounge chair. Tarika's test in furniture was always good. In fact her test was good in pretty much everything. What a charming and complete lady she was. Apart from her physical appearance she was a complete package in personality too. So much completed as a person. There wasn't anything Abhijeet would have wanted to be in his life partner that Tarika didn't possess. She's calm, witty, smart and dedicated. She was passionate. Sure, he hardly had put all this in words in front of her but he's sure she knew all this. That's the most beautiful thing about her. She knew herself. She was confident.
He sighed. He wished he could have come out from his past, from her. But it would be a lie if he said he failed. Because he didn't even try. It was easier for him to live with her memories. There were times when his vacant heart would tear apart in a demand to see her, to he with her but with times the urges subsided and he remembered her with a smile, like he's reminiscing some old good time. The pain became a bit numb but it was always there. Forever.
Tarika was sitting at the back seat of the cab, recalling the old days again.
FLASHBACK:
"Will you ever be able to love me?" Abhinash's broken voice echoed in the room.
Tarika looked at him from her sitting position on bed. Abhinash had finally spoken after returning from the hotel. She didn't know the answer of his question. She was concerned about him. She understood him. But, the question at that moment made her lose her temper finally. She stood up with a rag.
"You are doubting me?"
Abhinash was totally taken aback. It wasn't his intention at all.
"What! No, ofcourse not. Why would I-"
"Then why are you asking me this question right now?"
"Tarika, look.. You are taking it all wrong. I was just saying..."
"Saying what huh! Abhinash, I know as a husband you would never like your wife to cry over her ex. But the thing is, I wasn't given enough time to compose myself. I... am forced into this marriage. You know this. And you promised you will give me time, that you will understand me. I also thought you would support me as a friend. But, here you are, questioning about my ex!"
Abhinash smiled which made Tarika stopped talking.
"I am not concerned with your ex Tarika. And also I know Abhijeet is never gonna be your past. He will be always there in your heart. Yes, as a husband I wouldn't like that but I have no control over it. We have both agreed to do this together and I am trying to be supportive and this is not taking us anywhere. We are stuck to day one of our relationship. Tarika, I have loved you all my life and I will keep loving you. No matter if you are with me or not. I just wanted to say, I don't think we staying here gonna help any of our relationship to grow. Not ours, not Abhijeets'. I would also understand if you wanna stay. I don't have the courage to ask you to leave me after having you in my life. So, if you want... you have to do it by yourself." Abhinash looked down and turned around to leave.
"Abhinash!" Tarika called him softly.
He stopped but didn't turn.
"I'm not leaving you. May be your love has more passion than mine. At least your love gonna be fulfilled unlike mine. This marriage means a lot to me."
"Good to know." Abhinash said softly but there's no trust in his tone. He said just for the sake of it and left the room.
Tumhari payar ki siddat sayad mujhse jayada thi,
Meri chahat mei hi sayad kami thi
orna tumhe apna payar mila, par mujhe kyu nahi?
Two Days later of the incident Tarika met Abhijeet in Bureau corridor. Tarika wasn't sure if he was avoiding her on purpose for the last two days. But she could care less. She didn't want him to face either. It ached to see the broken Abhijeet. But to her surprise Abhijeet smiled at her. Never had ever Abhijeet's smile felt so dry to her before. The smile was genuine but dry. How could a smile be that painful. She felt suffocated. She thought to run away but he had already reached near her.
"Good morning."
Tarika looked down.
"Are you okay?" Abhijeet tried to be formal.
Tarika looked at him. Her eyes getting teary.
"I.. I am sorry Tarika." Abhijeet sighed. "I just dont know how to behave with you that will make you bother less. I just dont know."
Tarika wanted to say that there's nothing he could do about it. She smiled in response.
"Good to see you here Abhijeet."
"Huh! I work here Tarika."
Tarika could tell through his postures that he's being super nervous. He was cautious not to say anything inappropriate.
"I'm sorry Tarika. For all the troubles." he apologized.
Perhaps Tarika could have lived without an apology. His words felt like a burden on her chest.
She just nodded in response.
"How's aunty btw?"
So, he knew that she agreed to get married under her mother's pressure. She had an heart attack and refused to get treated unless Tarika gave her consent for marriage. Tarika had no other ways.
Looking her blank expression Abhijeet chuckled
"Daya told me."
"I... I... tried my best to postpone..." Tarika cried.
"We weren't destined to be together Tarika. You were just too good for a looser like me who didn't even have the courage to express his feelings." Abhijeet shrugged. "Perhaps, in another life if the mythology is true." Abhijeet chuckled.
Tarika wiped away her tears.
"Abhinash must be a very good guy."
She nodded
"Tell him I'm sorry. I.. won't be able to face him."
Tarika nodded yet again looking down.
Abhijeet kept looking at her for few seconds and then walked away without saying anything. He had have enough of torture for that day.
Tarika also left for the lab composing herself.
Later that day Tarika went to Bureau for some work and found Daya walking towards Abhijeet's desk. There's no one in bureau other than the duo. Tarika stopped to listen to them. Abhijeet seemed awfully stressed.
"Abhijeet, had your lunch?" Daya asked.
"Huh? Umm... yeah.." He said looking away from his computer.
"Sure?"
"Yes!" Abhijeet rolled his eyes. Both of them smiled. And then after a few seconds Abhijeet sighed.
"Read previous files to divert your mind." Daya suggested.
"I tried Daya. I can't concentrate on anything. Not a bit. And you saw na, how I messed up with the evidence." Abhijeet felt ashamed.
"You will be fine."
"I guess."
"I am glad that you are not keeping everything inside you. I'm always here to listen to you. You are doing great"
"I don't know Daya." He closed his eyes.
"Why don't you go for a vacation?"
"Tarika will leave in a while. May be, after that. I don't want to go anywhere right now."
"She's leaving? Who told you? I met her just a few hours ago. She didn't tell me anything."
"She doesn't know herself yet. But she has to leave. She will."
"You want her to?"
"I do not have any desires left in me Daya. I am okay with whatever happens around me. She deserves to be happy and her happiness never belonged with or around me." Abhijeet said looking at the file in his hand to avoid eye contact with Daya.
Daya pressed his buddy's shoulder in an attempt to sympathesized him.
Tarika couldn't take it any longer and left. Wiping her tears harshly, cursing her fate she decided to leave the city with Abhinash as soon as possible. Abhinash was right. Staying here wouldn't help anyone.
FlashBack ends...
O-0-0-
0-0-0-0
She got down from the cab and paid the driver. As she walked ahead Abhijeet stood up from his seat. Both stood in front of each other.
"Can we talk?" Abhijeet asked
"You don't have to wait here for me to talk. Come inside "
"No. I'm fine here. I just wanted to talk about staying here... I mean..."
"Mummy ji told me you want to leave. Abhijeet," she paused, "you can stay here as long as you want. We dont have any problem with that."
"Mumma..." Abhika ran to Tarika.
"Be careful."
"No being careful. You said you will bake cake with me! Why are you so late?"
"I am sorry beta..."
"Okay fine. Now come hurry up..."
"Okay my princess."
Abhijeet smiled looking at the cute family.
"Uncle, you wanna bake with us?" Abhika suggested.
Abhijeet looked at Tarika awkwardly. Tarika looked hesitated too.
"Umm... no beta. You bake. I will eat." Abhijeet smiled.
"Promise? You never come inside. You will come and test our cake?"
"I promise." Abhijeet smiled and then looked at Tarika who wasn't smiling anymore. May be she was laughing on mind hearing him promising. He hardly kept his promises after all.
"Okayyyy. Come on mumma..." Abhika dragged Tarika inside the house.
KK: I am so very disappointed with the number of reviews on my last chapter. Please guys do review. It gonna be hard to carry on the story without your support