Disclaimer: Refer to chapter 1.

AN: Chapter title: A Talk Between Friends

Maito Gai was no fool.

Kakashi had sought him out in a panic. To perhaps anyone else, Kakashi looked normal. He appeared to be his normal self, a lackadaisical air about him, a relaxed stance when he was stationary and a smoothness to his movements that could not be forced. He seemed, at best, slightly tired but that was the truth for a majority of Shinobi ever since the failed invasion had left the collective nerves of the village balanced on a razor's edge. Kakashi had the benefit of his position, had known of the initial belief of an invasion like other Jonin and higher ups, had been put on high alert and given an assignment.

It was possibly callous to say it but, for the majority of the Hidden Leaf, Kakashi Hatake did not care for them. Not out of malice or cruel intent, Kakashi simply was unable to focus beyond a select group at the moment, found himself utterly incapable of even recognizing his current apathy for others.

He was merely relying on his ANBU Black Ops training, made use of his legendary genius and the skills he had cultivated through it to project such an appearance for any who did not know him well enough to see the truth. Admittedly, it was a rather low number of people even among such a already small group able to do such a thing. The Jonin was someone more than capable of crafting a mask to move about in the public without drawing unnecessary attention to himself. Kakashi Hatake was more than a mere master of his own body, could convince even experienced Medical-nin that their diagnosis had been a mistake, that his injuries were the result of their own rushed examination and not from the enemy he had faced in battle.

To someone like Gai, a man who had known Kakashi Hatake for years, had trained himself to recognize movement in minute movement of the body, it was obvious he was stressed. To him, it was obvious his worry had consumed him, his thoughts no doubt strayed down darker and darker paths, and he was desperate for answers to the questions burning in his mind.

Answers Kakashi seemed to fervently believe he possessed.

He wasn't wrong. It was perhaps because of just how intently he focused on those close to him that he had even thought to seek him out in the first place.

Gai could make far more than a guess that this was about Anko. It wasn't wrong to say that most of Kakashi's current focus was devoted solely towards Anko and her condition. Without missions to occupy his time, without preparations against an attack to draw his focus, Kakashi had a tendency to hyper focus. If not Anko, it would have been tireless reflections on his own failures, a pursuit that would only drag him deeper and deeper into his own mind. When compared to the state such a thing could place him in, his obsessive worry for Mitarashi was far more preferable to any who knew him. At least this way, Gai did not have to worry for his friend, did not have to worry with the others on if Kakashi had fallen too far into the dark waters of his own mind, that he would drown with no one there to pull him out.

If he wasn't certain of Anko's survival, Gai would have done his best to distract Kakashi himself despite the numerous missions assigned to him the past few days by the Third Hokage himself. Missions he was almost certain others could manage, missions that had drawn him away from the village but not past the borders of the Land of Fire. He wasn't unable to understand why there was a rather clear effort being made to keep him out of the village, keep him away from the Jinchuriki that had tried to kill Tenten, that had ended her career as a Shinobi.

He still did not know what he would do if he came upon the boy.

He almost didn't want to know.

No matter his protests against it, a part of him he didn't like to acknowledge, a part of him he normally kept so controlled, wished for it nonetheless. Nearly desperately wished for it.

'I'm depressing myself now.' He shook his head, shook himself free from the path such thoughts would take him down if he was not careful to stop them now. 'I cannot allow myself to be controlled by anger. Not now.' He breathed out a controlled breath, used the familiar exercise to center himself as he continued to move, Kakashi following behind him. The masked Jonin made no move to question him, didn't ask what was wrong. He was likely not even aware Gai had almost fallen into such thoughts.

He, despite his many talents, suffered from tunnel vision at times like this.

If they were to have this conversation, he didn't want to risk any eavesdroppers. The topic was too sensitive, too dangerous to allow to fall upon too many ears. Mitarashi's condition was still being kept a secret known to as few as possible within the still recovering village, Sarutobi going as far as not providing it a classification to keep eyes away from the entire situation. The less people who could piece things together was deemed for the better for the situation as a whole. Adding anything to the little information present in the available records would have only drawn undue attention to her, would have caused those who served as her main detractors in the Shinobi ranks to seize unto it as evidence of her part in the invasion of their home manufactured by Orochimaru.

Her absence from the eyes of the village as a whole would have only provided more fuel to their bonfire of insanity. And, once it grew fierce enough, Kakashi would have involved himself. He would seek out her loudest detractors, the worse instigators.

And Gai knew he would be there to stand by his side against any odds and any foe.

Most Shinobi had only been informed that she had been injured from her placement on the inactive roster for missions and those recently drafted to the task of mission assignment having a desire to gossip in their few off hours. That itself wasn't uncommon given the situation, a majority of Shinobi injured during the attack had been placed on such a roster, had been tasked with guarding the village itself during a rather turbulent time. Anko was someone expected to remain busy within the village itself regardless of her status, her expertise in torture and interrogation something not even her detractors could deny.

'This should be good enough.' The two had traveled to a place they could discuss things in private.

Both silently entered a bar neither made a habit of frequenting. A loud bar filled with louder Shinobi more focused on drinking away their grief or drinking in celebration of the simple fact of still being alive, of being able to do such a thing. Gai handed over enough money to rent a room to the bouncer at the door and both descended into the basement. The bar was run by a pair of former ANBU that, when paid, offered private rooms for a variety of reasons and, more importantly to the Shinobi in the know, an exit from the general chaos above.

The village was mad most days and sometimes one needed to escape into the quiet. The bar above provided such a thing.

Gai looked across the table to Kakashi.

"Am I correct in saying that Anko's Cursed Seal was activated by the bomb from Orochimaru?"

He received a nod.

"I was afraid of that." He wished they had taken a moment to order drinks for themselves but they didn't intend to be here for long. Besides, he needed his thoughts clear for this conversation no matter where it may go. "I can make a guess to some of what's happened to her but someone like Jiraiya would be better suited, the Toads he's able to converse with are some of the most knowledgeable in regards to the Sage Arts. If he's personally handling this, she'll more than likely be fine. Her recovery will perhaps take some time but she will recover."

"I'm more worried about this happening again when Jiraiya isn't here to fix it." Kakashi spoke his concern in few words. Gai could understand why he thought such things.

"This isn't something Jiraiya will leave without a long-term solution. The danger to not only Anko but to the village as a whole isn't something he'll take lightly. She will likely only need time."

"I'd just like to be ready. Prepared if an enemy discovered anything about this."

"Minus learning the Sage Arts yourself, I don't see you being able to help her."

"Then teach me."

Kakashi's hand was laid on the table. Gai didn't bother being surprised.

It would be more worrying to him if Kakashi hadn't asked.

"I know you think highly of me but I know relatively little concerning the Sage Arts, hard to even call myself a novice compared to someone as well versed as Jiraiya. I can recognize Senjutsu in use, barely at that, and that's already near my limit for the Sage Arts. The ability to learn it was something I deemed beyond my ability a long time ago." He shook his head. "The little information I could find on it told me all I needed to know: It's too dangerous. It's not something to attempt without a proper teacher or the correct environment to even practice gathering something as dangerous as Natural Energy. Without those two things you're just as likely to kill yourself in the attempt, cause irreparable damage to your Chakra Pathway System if you're one of the lucky ones."

"You could tell me what you've learned. I'm sure I can figure something out. People have told me I'm pretty smart." Kakashi's tone was a forced calm.

"No."

Gai didn't react when Kakashi grabbed him, dragged him out of his seat. Lightning crackled off of him, whatever control that allowed him not to show the grief fueled rage brewing within him on his face didn't extend to his Chakra, to the tension Gai had seen building up in him since they had sat down.

Gai refused to attack his friend.

"Why?"

"It wouldn't help you." Gai met the eyes of his friend, both his own and his revealed Sharingan, the fact of such a thing not a surprise to him. He would not be surprised if Kakashi did not know he had uncovered the Dojutsu. "Like I've already told you, it's too dangerous to attempt. Speak with Jiraiya if you're honestly driven to accomplish this."

"He won't teach me." Kakashi released him, seemed to recognize what he had done as he dropped into his seat as if he was a puppet with his strings cut. "No one I know would teach me something that dangerous, not even the Third or Danzo."

"You would simply kill yourself in the attempt, Kakashi." Gai sighed. "To obtain the power of the Sage Arts, mind, body, and soul must work as one. It's not something many Shinobi can accomplish. We are in perpetual turmoil if we are lucky, able to have a greater capacity for one or two being balanced but it is difficult to claim all three. This isn't something that requires a genius to decipher or overwhelming power to accomplish. As simple as it seems, it will kill most who dare to attempt it."

"I'm supposed to be a genius." Kakashi gave a humorless laugh, brought a gloved hand up to cover his Sharingan. "I'm supposed to be a genius, a great Shinobi, and I can't help her Gai. I couldn't help her back during the attack and I can't help her now." His uncovered eye was shut. "She saved my life and I can't do anything for her."

"It is in all of our natures to want to help our comrades. We support each other no matter the individual challenges we face." Gai once more regretted not stopping to order a drink. A sober mind was preferable in battle but, for a conversation like this, a lowering of inhibitions would perhaps prove more useful. "Anko clearly doesn't blame you for what happened to her during the attack. The safety of the village mattered more than any of us that day, it is the nature of those who truly embody the Will of Fire to be willing to sacrifice themself for the village."

"She died. I saw it. I know it. I remember it every time I close my eyes." He hung his head. "And she saved me. I would be dead if she didn't think of me as a comrade, as a friend worth saving." Some of the crushing guilt, the all-consuming regret his friend carried was revealed in that moment. "And I failed her. I failed her and everyone else there. She had to be the one to save my life, to save the lives of everyone there from Pakura."

Gai wasn't happy that the truth had been revealed. Kakashi guilt was crushing him, had only grown stronger since the failed invasion. It was becoming too much for him to bear.

'It's always this guilt with you.' His thoughts were his own as he stared at his friend. 'You have burdened yourself with faults that are not yours to carry, you work day in and day out to weigh down your very spirit with nothing but despair.' It was sadly far too common to see from his dear friend.

Kakashi Hatake was one to allow his guilt to rule him, to control his every action. He had been such a man since his childhood, had been shaped through the numerous tragedies of his past into the man he had become in the present. Sadly, Gai had learned throughout this friendship that it was not uncommon to see his grief nearly swallow him, to dread what would become of his friend when he was at his deepest lows.

The grief he expressed now was still preferable to the near absolute despair that had stricken him after the attack on the village by the Nine Tailed Demon Fox.

"Hmm, I refuse to believe such a thing." Gai looked above them, to the village up above. "Just as the Hidden Leaf stands as it does now not for any singular effort, it is not condemned from any single failure. We, all those who call ourselves the Shinobi of the Hidden Leaf, have allowed this tree to spread its roots, to grow strong and lively. Even as the soil turned nearly barren and the sun blazed high, we have nurtured it to become strong again, have allowed it to never fall."

"That's a little bit easier for you to say Gai." Kakashi allowed a humorless laugh to escape him, his eyes began to water as he lost control of himself. "So many of my friends, of my comrades, people who I've sworn to standby and protect, are dead because of me."

"Yes. That is of course the case." Gai leaned back in his seat. "You were the one to use the sword that took their lives, correct? You were the one to crush their throat, to strike through their heart, to poison them, to betray all those who dared to call you their friend." Gai met the eye of his friend. His gaze did not soften. "You are not some plague Kakashi, you are not some burden to those who know you. If you were, I still would not care. We are friends. We are brothers in arms. We have bled for this village, we have killed for this village, and we are likely to die for this village before we grow much older. It is our lot in life."

Gai could not help a tired smile.

"We are Shinobi of the Hidden Leaf. It is almost our very fate to fall in the line of duty, to become yet another name on the Memorial Stone you visit so much." Faces came to mind. Of those he had known in the Academy, of those he had met on missions and bonded with, of those who had spoken with him, cited him as their inspiration. "We have all lost people Kakashi. You and I both lost our fathers young, have shared too many tragedies to name in our careers as Shinobi. Both of us have had the misfortune to report to those grieving that their sons, their daughters, their mothers, and their fathers will not return from a mission, that they perished, that the enemy they found themselves against killed them. We have almost been burdened with the act of outliving our comrades."

Kakashi said nothing.

"Although we may be sad, grieve those we will not see nor speak with again, we must continue to live. We cannot allow our grief, the weight of our sorrows, to crush our spirits beneath it." He did not deny the few tears that came from his eyes, the grief he felt as he remembered so many fallen comrades, those who had given their very lives for the village. To him, to ignore his tears, to ignore his grief, was tantamount to ignoring their sacrifice itself. "If we are to stand before our comrades in the next life, we must do so knowing we did not let their passing be such a burden to us."

Kakashi said nothing.

Gai looked on as the silver haired Shinobi rose.

"I need a teacher Gai. Will you do it?"

"I cannot help you Kakashi."

Kakashi Hatake left without another word.

Gai allowed a sigh from his lips.

"Kakashi, what is it going to take to stop you from destroying yourself?"

He moved to silently follow him.