Chapter 4: Good-bye to you

Tommy offered a hand and pulled me to my feet without saying a word. I couldn't take my eyes off him. He looked so tired and ill that I felt like crying. His hair was a mess and not it's usually overly styled self, he had bags under his eyes and his skin was pale, mostly he looked sad and so much older then his twenty-four years.

He steadily held my gaze. The music had been turned down and a crowd had formed around us. Guy pushed his way through and rushed over to me. "Are you ok?"

For the first time I glanced away from Tommy and felt him finally drop my hand. "I'm fine" I tried to offer a reassuring smile to G but I couldn't stop shaking.

I turned back to Tommy but he'd disappeared "Tom?" I called, whirling around and scanning the faces of the crowd hoping to catch sight of him. With the fight over the crowd was starting to disperse and dance once again to the music that had been turned up.

"He went that way" A girl said, pointing to the back exit.

"I'll be back in a second" I said to Guy then ran for the exit.

I reached the back alley and pushed open the heavy steel door. Tommy was halfway down the alley heading toward a car parked at the end, the same car I'd seen that night after G and I had gone to the movies. So it had been Tommy…

"Tommy!" I called. He didn't stop but quickened his pace toward the car. Swearing under my breath I ran after him, splashing through puddles and rubbish and shivering in the cool night air. I'd worn a skimpy, shimmering, strapless top. When I left home that night I'd loved how sexy I felt in the risqué item but now I just wished it were warmer. "Tom!" I called again as I finally caught up with him.

He froze where he stood, still not turning to face me, "Tommy, please" I said as I put a hand on his shoulder.

He finally turned to face me and my breath once again caught in my throat at the sight of him. "Look, Jude. I'm sorry" He said, "Please… just pretend you never saw me ok?"

"What? Tommy, no!" I tried to touch his arm but he pulled back.

"Just forget about me, ok?" He turned and walked to the car, his shoulders slumped dejectedly.

I stood there, tears pooling in my eyes as it began to rain. Once again I watched the man I loved drive away. "Good-bye to you" I whispered under my breath.

---

Sadie was curled up in front of the sofa watching a Romance, a box of tissues at her side when I stormed into the room.

"Is this another of those artistic dramas or did your date with Guy not go well?" Sadie asked.

I sank down onto the floor and put my head in my hands. "Oh Sadie, I feel like I'm going crazy"

Sadie moved from the sofa to sit next to me "What happened?"

I looked up at her feeling a tear spill out of my eye "You know how I said I thought I saw Tommy the other day?" Sadie's eyes widened as she nodded. "Well I saw him tonight, at the club" I told her everything that had happened and watched as her eyes grew wider and wider.

"Oh Sade, he looked terrible... like, really unwell. I always thought I'd be so happy to see him again but now I'm just so worried. I don't get why he wouldn't talk to me. I can't decide if I'm mad at him or if I should hire a Private detective to track him down!"

Sadie smiled ruefully, "Somehow I don't think he'd appreciate that very much. I know its hard Jude but I think you just need to forget about Tommy for the time being. Maybe you'll never see him again and even if you do you need to wait for him to work out whatever he's got going on." She ruffled Jude's hair "You could be quite the complication"

"It hurts Sadie" I said "It hurts so much"

---

Kwest was frowning as he read over some song lyrics Jude had written earlier that day. She'd asked for advice regarding the chorus but he was having a hard time coming up with an alternative. The song was heart wrenching and fill of tears. He cringed knowing full well that the song was about Tommy.

'IFallen lives and fallen lies. You never fetched me the stars/I'.

There was a knock at the door and grateful for the distraction Kwest tossed the lyrics down on his coffee table and walked to the door. He hoped it was Sadie, she'd apologized earlier that day and he was looking forward to getting their relationship back on track.

"Tommy!" He said in surprise.

It was raining outside and Tommy appeared drenched. "Hey" He said uncertainly "I was hoping… I could I talk to you" He paused, looking at the ground. "I really need someone to talk to..."

"Tom! Of course" Kwest stepped aside and Tommy walked into the room, shoulders slouched and eyes downcast.

"Sadie… isn't here again is she?" Tommy asked, glancing back at him.

"Nah, it's just the two of us" Kwest closed the front door and turned to Tommy "Hey, you want a towel or something?" He asked.

Tommy nodded. Kwest got him a towel and a hot coffee and the two of them sat down at the kitchen table. They were silent for a while, Kwest waiting for his friend to find the words to say what he wanted to say and Tommy trying to do just that.

Tommy finally glanced at Kwest before returning to staring into his coffee "Look, I'm sorry about the other day. It was wrong of me to turn up like that. I'm sorry if I interrupted you and Sadie's" He paused, thinking about what he'd interrupted "…date?" He looked at Kwest questioningly.

He nodded, "We started dating the day you left. I never got the chance to tell you"

Tommy smiled "That's great K, really it is"

There was silence after that. Finally Kwest asked "Why'd you leave Tom?"

Tommy sighed then finally said, "For Jude"