Chapter 5: You're forgotten
Sadie smiled at Kwest as he walked into G-Major records the next day. She'd arrived at work early that morning knowing that Kwest was always one of the first people there, she'd been hoping to get a little time alone with him to make up for her behaviour recently but Kwest had arrived quarter of an hour late. She frowned again, wondering if anything was wrong.
"Hey Sade" He paused by her desk and leaned down to kiss her quickly.
"Hey, Darius wants to see you in his office" She said with a sympathetic smile.
Kwest was nervous regarding the meeting with Darius. He'd been late that morning but Darius didn't usually mind that kind of thing, he couldn't think of anything else he'd done that would warrant a lecture. Shrugging it off he determined not to worry as he stepped into Darius' office.
"Kwest! Have a seat Man" Darius said from his position behind the desk, he smiled broadly which further boosted Kwest's confidence.
"Hey D, What's up?" Kwest asked as he sat down.
"I've been noticing how hard you've been working lately" Darius said as he softly drummed his fingers against the desk "And I was thinking maybe it's time you move up in the G-Major family"
Kwest smiled, "I'm all for that"
Darius nodded, "I've got two offers for you. Number one, I'd like you to produce Jude's new album. I know that fued with Tommy didn't last very long but you two worked together well when you worked with her last."
Kwest nodded though he felt his insides churning a little. He didn't feel overly comfortable with replacing his best friend and he knew Jude wouldn't be too stoked with the idea. Each time a new thing that showed Tommy wasn't coming back presented itself she'd flip out. When Darius emptied Tommy's office she died her hair black, when Tommy's parking space was assigned to someone else she got a new tattoo on her shoulder and when Tommy's apartment was put up for lease she went out to a party and didn't come back till the wee hours of the morning. Sadie had to help her up the stairs, as she was too drunk to do it herself.
"And the second thing-" Darius continued, "You always said you'd like to try your hand at directing. Jude and Guy are shooting their video for 'Good-bye to you' next week. How would you like to take the helm?"
Kwest grinned.
---
"What's on your mind Rock star?" Kwest asked as he sat down next to me. He had searched all of G-Major before finding me sitting on the fire escape in the back alley where Tommy and I had kissed, back during my disastrous sixteenth birthday.
"Just reminiscing," I said with a forced smile, "Hey, congratulations on your promotion"
Kwest looked a little taken aback for a moment, "I guess Darius check it over with you first. Are you sure you're ok with me taking over for Tommy?"
I nodded, "I have to be, anyway. I need a producer and Tommy's… nowhere to be found" I glanced over at Kwest who had an unusual expression on his face "You ok, Kwest?"
He nodded, "Yeah, I'm fine. So, do you have any ideas for the 'Good-bye to you' video?"
I sighed, "I think I'm going to bow out of the treatment on this one. I'll do whatever you come up with."
"Anything?" Kwest laughed, "That's a dangerous promise."
I smiled "You're like a brother to me Kwest. I trust you"
I'm sure I was imagining it but Kwest seemed to visibly pale at the latter half of my statement. If I didn't know better I'd think he was feeling guilty about something.
---
Sadie was sitting at the kitchen table with her laptop open in front of her when I got home that night. "This paper is a nightmare," She muttered as she drummed her fingers on the tabletop.
I leaned over her shoulder, "Wow, Sade; how long have you been working on this?"
"Two hours" she smiled, "But you could tell right?"
I laughed, eyeing the two paragraphs of text "Yeah, like, totally!" I said in my best blonde cheerleader voice. I opened the pantry and started rummaging through for something to eat.
"You know what I think?" She asked, turning to face me "I think we're due for a girls night out; just the two of us. What do you say?"
"That sounds like the very dose the doctor ordered" I said with a grin.
---
"I don't know" Sadie whined for what seemed the umpteenth time that night. "Clubbing Jude? Why don't we just go to a nice restaurant or something?"
"Because this is what I feel like doing" I said as I took her hand and led her up to the door "And I know deep down it's what you feel like doing too. Thing about it Sade, the music, the lights the total abandonment of logic and inhibition"
"The first bit sounded ok but I'm not so sure about the inhibition thing" She allowed me to drag her through the front door. Instantly we were in a room that seemed to virtually vibrate with the loud beat of the music and the dancing bodies that crowded it. "I don't like the sound of losing my inhibitions!" Sadie yelled to be heard over the music "I quite like my inhibitions, we're good friends."
I had to smile. A year ago, those words would have been coming out of my mouth and Sadie would have been the one dragging me on to the dance floor. We'd both changed so much recently. Since her relationship with Kwest Sadie had settled down a little and become a less wild and more comfortable in her skin. Maybe she was just getting old but she no longer sought out potentially dangerous situations or set out to stir up trouble regardless of who it hurt.
"Since when do you despise your inhibitions?" Sadie continued, as if she didn't have to ask.
"Just shut up and dance!" I yelled as we found a spot on the dance floor and I began to sway to the music.
---
"Don't you think you've had enough Jude" Sadie asked as she watched me drink another martini.
My vision was starting to get a little blurry and I felt reasonably confident that if I tried to walk at this point that I would have a difficulty but since I was sitting that wasn't going to be a problem. "I'm fine" I said putting extra effort into making sure my words weren't slurred.
I couldn't work out what had happened. The night had started out so hopeful, like maybe I could go out with my sister who had recently become one of my best friends. I thought we could go out have fun and forget our problems. It was not working. I kept telling myself that maybe the next drink would achieve that, maybe it would blur my memory a little and allow me to just live in this moment, just tonight.
"Jude" Sadie reached out and placed a hand over mine. There was such sympathy in her eyes that I felt tears starting to blur mine. "It's OK, Jude"
I laughed (loudly and drunkenly), "Sure Sadie. Everything's flippin' excellent!"
"Jude, come on, lets just go home. I think we're both partied out for the night"
"I'm not!" I held up my glass and laughed again "My 'something to get rid of him'" I said, quoting the lyrics to 'Skin'. The laughter turned to tears and I dropped the glass on the table. It didn't break but alcohol spilled everywhere splashing Sadie and myself.
Sadie didn't swear or yell, though I could tell she wanted to. She calmly opened her purse and took out some tissues, which she used to dry herself. She offered me one but I shook my head. I folded my arms on the table and rested my chin on top of them.
"That's where I saw him" I said, pointing to a spot on the dance floor. "He left through that door back there" I motioned vacantly to the back exit. "He left… he left… he left" I muttered to myself. I wasn't trying to speak clearly anymore, the words began to slur together. "And now he's gone!"
"Maybe you're better of?" Sadie suggested, "He was a jerk to do that. You don't need somebody like that…"
"You're right" I forced a smile, "I'm better off. Forget Tommy! Tommy you're forgotten! Tommy-" I paused as my voice broke and the tears began to well up again "Tommy - Screw you!" I whispered.