Chapter 6: The video shoot

It was a few days later, the first day of shooting on the 'Good-bye to you' video. The first day involved shooting Guy's solo scenes, which included him standing on a bridge in the rain and another of him alone in an empty house. It was Sadie's day off but she'd opted to support Kwest and help out on set. It was between takes when Guy brought Sadie a cup of coffee and asked if he could speak with her.

"Sure, Guy. Take a seat" Sadie said, motioning to a two deck chairs inside the production tent.

When the two were comfortably seated Guy nervously took a sip of coffee then eventually conceded, "It's about Jude."

"Ok" Sadie was starting to feel a little nervous.

"It's just... I keep hearing talk about this Tommy person but no one has explained whom he was or why he isn't around anymore. I couldn't not notice how sad Jude looks whenever he's mentioned. I really like her and everything and I think she might like me too but... she's never quite there you know? It's like her mind is always somewhere else. I guess I just wanted you to tell me that it's just my imagination and not to do with this Tommy dude."

"Oh, well..." Sadie glanced down at her coffee, "It's kind of a long story G"

Guy glanced at his watch "Well, we've got fifteen minutes till the next take. Do you think you could abbreviate?"

Sadie smiled then as carefully as she could she told him the story. She explained how Tommy had been Jude's producer and how they really hit off musically, how Tommy had music in his past too but numerous disappointments regarding his solo career, she told him about her and Tommy dating and how disastrous it had been and finally about Tommy's mysterious departure. She omitted the information she knew regarding the way Jude and Tommy felt about each other. Instead, she just offered, "Jude cared about Tommy a lot. He was her producer and her friend. She really misses him, she worries about him and she's hurt that he never explained why he left or let her know where he was"

Guy didn't say anything and Sadie worried that maybe she'd done some damage to his and Jude's relationship. She wanted her sister to move on and forget about Tommy but she couldn't exactly have ignored Guy's question either...

Kwest stuck his head into the tent "Guy, we need you for this new shot"

Guy got up to leave then turned to Sadie, "Thanks, for letting me know"

---

It was the last shoot for the day. The scene involved Guy standing dejectedly at the side of a bridge, as he puts a hand on the railing his hand brushes against a pile of pebbles some children had left on the railing. The pebbles fall in slow motion down into the water and Guy watches as they disappear in its murky depths.

The camera operator was playing around with the distance for the shot and trying various different angles with Guy before doing the final shoot. Kwest took a moment to check on Sadie who'd been quiet for the last couple of hours.

"Are you ok?" He asked, giving her a hug.

"Yeah, I'm… No, I'm fine" She said with a forced smile.

"Come on Sadie, you know you can talk to me" Kwest said gently.

"I just… I think I might have caused some problems for Guy and Jude" Said admitted, "He asked me about Tommy and I said as little as possible…"

"Look, don't worry about it. He was going to find out about Tommy someway or other. He's kind of a legend turned Urban Myth at G-Major. Besides, if Tommy ever comes back-" Kwest glanced away quickly and didn't finish his sentence, "I think I'm needed for this shot." He turned and jogged over to Guy, the two spoke animatedly and Sadie watched with her arms crossed over her chest. She knew Kwest and she knew that last comment was more then just some passing observation.

---

I swear the sky is crying tonight. The gusts of wind rattling the house are it's sobs and the water cascading down my window is it's tears. What does the sky cry about? Did the earth break it's heart and now it's intent on drowning and destroying it?

I feel like I've lost myself recently. Sometime I feel like I'm merely a spectator standing on the sidelines and watching my life unfold, like it's some kind of TV show or movie. I can't seem to connect to anything anymore. I'm overwhelmed with this desire to run away and hide, only I can't.

I've screwed up so much in my life. There are things... things I don't want to admit, things I try so desperately to forget.

I start the shooting 'Good-bye to you' video with Guy tomorrow. He shot his solo scenes today, he called me half an hour ago to tell me how it went. He was so excited, I remember when I felt that way about filming 'Waste my Time'. Once again, I'm disconnected from an exciting event in my life.

Why Tommy? Why did you leave?

---

Kwest was so excited. I'd never seen him this way. He's always so calm and wise but today he seemed like a little child with a new toy "Jude," He waved a hand in front of my face to get my attention "You start out sitting on the swing. We'll do a shoot of you singing the first verse there then cut some shots from that for the video. Then we want some shots of you standing by the water, you'll stand looking out at the lake then gradually wade into waste depth. The final shot of you alone in the video will be you diving into the water!"

I shivered and gave him an 'are you crazy?' look. The day was cold and I didn't exactly like the idea of getting wet. "Do I get to wear a wet suit?" I asked dryly.

"Actually, no" Portia said as she walked over to join me. "You'll be wearing this" She held up a beautiful black ball dress made of a smooth satin material. It was sleeveless and long, down to my ankles, "The idea" She said "Is that the black represents the death of your relationship. When you dive under the water it's like a washing away of the old relationship and coming up as a new and happier person" She smiled and gave me an impulsive hug then left me standing alone on the lake shore holding the black dress.

Don't you just hate when you feel like everything in your life has some not so subtle double meaning? Like everything is a metaphor and everyone around you knows?

We shot the scene on the swing with very few hold-ups. I had no difficulty putting the emotion into the lyrics. Kwest even complemented me at one stage for the realistic tears welling up in my eyes. I was happy to let him believe it was merely my impressive acting skills.

When it came time to wade into the water I walked out slowly, wrapping my arms around myself and shivering then sending a sad glance to the camera. Finally I took a deep breath and dove into the icy water praying I wouldn't need to do a re-shoot.

When I resurfaced, I made my way back to the shore as quickly as I possibly could. Sadie was waiting for me with a warm towel that she wrapped round my shoulders. As I walked to the makeshift changing room tent, I noticed a figure standing in the woods a few yards from the clearing we were shooting in.

So tell me Tommy, how am I supposed to forget about you when I could swear I see you everywhere I look?