Chapter 10: Explanations

Tommy had began to pace around the room nervously. My emotions were on such an overload including fear in regards to what Tommy must now think of me, annoyance at his belief that I should have told him about my past, and concern at what was to come.

"Look, Jude, I don't know where to start, how to say this..." Tommy finally said slowly.

I opened my mouth to say something reassuring, something urging, something I hadn't yet come up with when my attention was drawn to a movement from the corner of my eye. I noticed Tommy's concerned glance a second before I turned.

Standing in the doorway to what I imagined was a bedroom or bathroom was a young toddler of part African-American descent about 3 years old, the same child I'd seen at the window yesterday, the same child I'd thought had looked so much like Cassie.

The toddler frowned at me then waved a bedraggled rabbit soft toy she was holding in the air in front of her. I glanced to Tommy with bewilderment painted across my face.

Tommy shrugged, "Don't say you don't recognize your own daugher?"

I might have opened my mouth to say something - I really can't say. All I remember was a sudden wave of dizziness and my feet turning to jelly beneath me. The last thing I remember seeing was Tommy's concerned expression as he leapt forward to catch me - then everything went black.

---

Sadie and Kwest were frozen in a stand off. The two were sitting at the kitchen table with untouched cups of coffee in front of them. Kwest was obviously concerned regardling what was currently going down with Tommy and Jude and Sadie was frustrated to be the one so completely in the dark.

"Couldn't you just give me some kind of hint?" Sadie asked with a frown.

"Sade! Stop pestering! I'd tell you if-" His statement was cut off by the ring of his cellphone, playing the familiar tune of Jude's 'White Lines' the exclusive Tone associated with Tommy's number. Kwest smiled his sweetest smile at Sadie before taking the cell and walking out into the hallway "Tommy, man, is everthing ok?"

"She fainted!" Tommy's voice was strained, "What do I do?"

Kwest couldn't help the smile that slid across his face "Come on now, what did you expect. You tell her she's suddenly the mother of a three-year-old child - again and that you're now nearly bankrupt for trying to save her from an evil blackmailer! How would you react?"

"Well, actually, I hadn't got to either of those points yet. Cassie walked into the room and wham! Jude was down for the count"

Kwest's response was postponed when he heard the familiar sound of Sadie clearing her throat behind him. He slowly turned to face her, cringing and wondering if he could play the card of annoyance for her eavesdropping. Her expression told him there was no avoiding what she'd heard.

"Someone's blackmailing Jude? And what do you mean about her being a mother?" She asked.

---

I opened my eyes to see Tommy looking down at me. He smiled, "You ok girl?"

I groaned, "Please say it was all a dream?"

I tentatively glanced around me. I was lying on the sofa in Tommy's motel room, he was sittong on the sofa at my side and standing a few feet from us was... Cassie. She looked at me with an expression of waryness and curiosity.

"Sorry" Tommy smiled, "Can I get you a glass of water or something?"

I shook my head and slowly pulled myself up into a sitting position, "No, please just tell me the whole story?"

He nodded then turned to Cassie "Cass, honey, do you want to watch Dora the Explorer in the other room?"

When Cassie nodded gleefully Tommy left the room with her and returned a few moments later, I could hear the high pitched voice of Dora speaking in Spanish from the next room as he quietly closed the door behind him. He returned to the sofa and sat down next to me. He smiled nervously "I forgot how beautiful you were"

I didn't know how to respond or even what to feel. My emotions were on such an overload I couldn't decide if it was elation or fear I felt at his remark.

He gently took my hand in his in a manner that was obviously meant as a comforting gesture then began his story.

At the concert the night before my CD release party Tommy had been approached by a man in the audience. I'd seen all this happen while on stage, gradually Tommy explained the conversation that had taken place between the two. The man hadn't introduced himself but merely said he had information that could lead to the end of my career. The conversation quickly turned into an argument with the man insisting he'd take the information to the press within the next hour if Tommy didn't hear and agree to his demands at once. The two had left the concert to discuss the matter in private.

Somehow information had arisen regarding the child I'd had at the tender age of 15, the blackmailer had pointed out the information would destroy my wholesome image and alienate many of my fans. He had information on Cassie and where she lived, Tommy had insisted who knew nothing of the child's existance and demanded proof before he did anything. The blackmailer offered to take him to Montana that night.

"But why did you say you weren't coming back?" I asked, at this point in the explanation.

Tommy glanced down at his hands, "The guy, he had a picture of you and Cassie at the hospital the day she was born. As we drove to the restaurant - so I could tell you I was leaving - he told me more and more information that led to my believing him. I was angry... with you. Maybe I didn't have the right to be, I don't know." He glanced up at me, his eyes meeting mine "I'd always felt we understood each other better then anyone else and then I found that I didn't know you at all. I was angry with you Jude, so I said the thing I knew would hurt you"

I frowned, "If you wanted to hurt me then why did you pay off the blackmailer?"

He didn't answer but continued his story

He'd flown to Montana that night. The blackmailer gave him directions to Cassie's house with arrangements for them to meet at a restaurant in town later that day. Tommy had been led inside by a maid who he said seemed flustered and upset. She barely asked his name and didn't expect an explanation as to why she was here. Tommy's attention had instantly been drawn to the toddler standing at the other side of the room, the toddler who reminded him so much of the girl who's heart he'd just attempted to break.

He'd knelt down in front of her, observing hear tear filled eyes and her plaintive cries regarding her mother. A woman had entered the room a moment later, she was a social worker - Cassie's parents had been killed in a car crash a few days earlier, Cassie stood to become a ward of the state as she had no close kin and no appointed guardian.

One thing led to another and with a little background information proving his identity and relation to me, not to mention a little boybander charm Tommy had been able to convince the Social worker to contact me regarding Cassie's future. Wasn't it logical to find out if the biological mother might want to readopt her own child rather then placing the child in the troubled world of Foster care? The Social worker had brought Cassie to town a couple of days ago after spending the summer arranging certain aspects of the case. Tommy had been trying to find the right time and the words to explain to me what had arisen. As for the Social Worker she'd meant to get in touch with me when she'd arrived but then a case she'd been overseeing and a child she'd become personally attached to had become extremely volatile with evidence of the Foster parent abusing the child. She'd been busy the last couple of days communicating with lawyers and making arrangements. When she'd been busy with the case she'd asked Tommy to babysit Cassie a couple of times - was what he was doing tonight.

"That explains the cartoons" I said quietly as I thought back to the day I'd called Tommy's room.

"You called a couple of days ago didn't you?" He asked.

My eyes met his "How did you know?"

"I recognized your breathing" As I rolled my eyes in response he smiled and shrugged, "I just had a feeling"

As for the blackmailer Tommy had paid him a, and I quote, 'large sum of money' to drop the story and leave me the hell alone, the man resurfaced a week later with pictures of me drunk the day after Tommy had left. 'Anonymous last night guy' had been a friend of his who'd taken advantage of the incredible luck of running into me at the bar and taken the pictures. The man brought the pictures to Tommy packaged in an envelope addressed to me. The envelope never got sent as Tommy arranged for the pictures disappearance too, he then spent the rest of the summer working with a private detective and digging up enough dirt on the blackmailer to have him put behind bars where he wouldn't be able to threaten me or my career again.

"But why did he address the envelope to me?" I asked.

He shrugged, "I guess he was trying to emphasize the gravity of the situation. I may-" He paused, "I may have gotten a little carried away the last time he and I had spoken. I kind of exposed how I felt about you, he knew he could play me for a lot if he threatened to hurt or upset you"

"So you don't hate me?" I asked.

"No Jude, I Ireally/I don't hate you" He paused, "Are you... angry with me for what I did?"

"I'm overwhelmed Tommy" I said quietly, "I don't know what I'm going to do about Cassie. I still don't think I can handle being a mother but I can't bear the thought of having to give her up again" Tears began to fill my eyes.

"It'll be ok Jude" Tommy tentatively pulled me into his arms, "I know you and you can handle anything"

I rested my head on my shoulder as Tommy gently stroked my hair in the same way he'd done on my seventeenth birthday when we were trapped in the Warehouse. I slowly pulled away then brought my eyes up to meet his gaze, our eyes locked upon one another and as I stared into their blue depths all my problems momentarily washed away. I forgot that my orphaned daughter was watching cartoons in the room next door and that I'd soon have to once again make a huge decision regarding her future and very possibly my own. I forgot that Tommy had broken my heart three months ago and that it had shattered a little more each day since he'd been gone, I forgot the uncertainty and heartache of the last three months, I forgot about Guy, all I knew was Tommy's eyes. The distance between us began to diminish when just as his lips were about to touch mine there came a loud pounding on the door.

"Little Tommy Q you had better open this door right now or I swear I'll kick it down!" Came Sadie's angry voice, "Jude!" She pounded on the door again, "Are you in there? Are you ok?"