Madam and Missy — A Pride and Prejudice Variation

This is dedicated to all the writers both here and on KU who've released their stories for free! As I enjoy reading them so much, I thought that I'd have a go, and here it is.

[Note that I'm a Brit, so have written with British spelling, punctuation and terminology 😏]

In which Miss Bingley protests and Darcy admires a pair of fine eyes in the face of a pretty woman

Longbourn

Mr. Bennet

It was the morning following a dance so — of course — the house was filled with chattering women! Bennets, Lucases and Mrs. Phillips. Mr. Bennet felt that he had had heard too much of the assembly when his daughters had returned: Mr. Bingley dancing twice with Jane; the disdain of Bingley's sisters; Darcy's quiet amiability — I advised him to be reserved; the Bingleys' argument and Darcy's subsequent abandonment; and Darcy riding atop the Lucases' carriage. He also had caught Elizabeth's slight wistfulness as she had not been able to dance with her husband. My poor child.

Netherfield

Darcy

Darcy returned buoyant from his morning ride and meeting with his growing family. The four of them had sat together amongst the oak's roots, selecting things to eat from a basket. His heart had swollen with the sight of Elizabeth cradling and feeding their daughters. He had helped Melissa to collect acorns and had led her, very slowly, on Ajax's back. He had enjoyed hearing of the Lucas family sleeping in the stable at Longbourn and of Mr. Hurst's 'elegance and charm' mantra. With reluctance he returned to Netherfield, after escorting his wife and children back to Longbourn. After bathing, his good spirits tumbled as he overheard his hostess shrieking from the breakfast room.

"Have you ever seen such dreadful people?" Miss Bingley cried. "Really, Charles, it would not be proper to remain here a moment longer. I shall direct Mrs. Nicholas to prepare us to leave. There is not a moment to be wasted!"

Spotting Darcy at the door, she continued, "Oh, to be amongst the best people again! Darcy, do persuade Charles to return to London."

"I do not believe that I have given you leave to be so informal, Miss Bingley," Darcy said through clenched teeth.

"Are we not your closest friends, Dar— Mr. Darcy?"

Hurst snorted. "Charles is Mister Darcy's friend, Caroline."

"Really, Hurst, we are all Mr. Darcy's dearest friends, just as he is ours."

Helping himself to breakfast, Darcy declined to comment.

"I am so sorry to have left you last night, Darcy," cried Mr. Bingley. "How did you get back?"

"Really, Charles, that was most unwise of you — leaving poor Mr. Darcy to the mercy of such barbarians."

"The Lucas family offered to bring me here and dropped me at the gate."

"At their lodge!" cried Miss Bingley.

"Did you fit in their carriage?" asked Mr. Bingley. "Miss Bennet told me that the Lucases took her and her sisters."

"Do the Bonnets not have their own carriage?" Miss Bingley crowed in delight.

"I rode on top," Darcy told Mr. Bingley.

"'Twas well that it was not raining!" Mr. Hurst chuckled.

"On top? You rode on top? Like a common servant?" Miss Bingley gasped. "Really, Charles, if nothing else convinces you that we must leave, it is that those gatekeepers made our dearest friend ride on top!"

"Caroline! The carriage was full! There were three Lucas ladies and three Bennet sisters," protested her brother.

"Really, Charles, those Bonnet sisters could have walked; or that impertinent one could have gone on top. Huh, that would put her in her place!" Turning to her sister, she continued. "Did I tell you that Miss Eliza Bonnet asked me if I enjoyed attending balls? She seemed to think that I might see friends at them."

"That presupposes that you have friends," said Mr. Hurst. "I found Miss Elizabeth Bennet to be engaging company; she could talk of many topics."

Darcy hid a small smile of pride.That is my Missy!

"Then she had the effrontery to claim that her bracelet — you saw it, Louisa, the one with the ugly lumps hanging from it — was made from vespine, when it was clearly of tin and brass."

"'Vespine'? Is not that to do with wasps?" asked Mr. Bingley.

Ignoring her brother, Miss Bingley went on, "Louisa, then she even had the audacity to demand details of the latest fashion for the mantra!"

Having ignored the spiteful comments with difficulty, Darcy looked up when Mr. Hurst barked with laughter. Mr. Bingley and his older sister gazed astonished at both Miss Bingley and Mr. Hurst. Seeing Mr. Bingley about to speak, Darcy surreptitiously shook his head while Mrs. Hurst lowered her head to conceal her smile.

"I mentioned to Miss Elizabeth that it involved elegance and charm as she had both in abundance," said Mr. Hurst.

Ignoring him, Miss Bingley continued, "I refused to tell her, of course!"

"Of course, dear," agreed Mrs. Hurst.

Elizabeth

Later that morning, the older Bennet and Lucas ladies went to call on Mrs. Hurst and Miss Bingley. Leaving fifteen minutes later, Elizabeth remarked, "Sometimes I find that the prescribed visiting time is too short, and sometime I find that it is too long."

The younger women smiled in agreement and, while Lady Lucas did not join them, she did not scold them either.

Longbourn

Lydia

Kitty and Georgiana were with Lydia in the parlour the following morning when the Netherfield ladies returned the call. With their older sisters, they stood to be introduced to the visitors. Lydia watched as Miss Bingley assessed each of them in turn with a dismissive sniff. Deriding our everyday morning dresses, no doubt. When Jane asked her to call for tea, Lydia took the opportunity to knock on the book-room door and bid Mr. Bennet to join them.

"Pappa, come and meet the 'rotten' sisters."

"I have already been introduced to one of them," he protested.

"What were you telling me only the other day about all knowledge being useful?" she chided him. "It is obvious that they will not stay for long."

Grumbling, he acquiesced.

Lydia was correct, the 'rotten' sisters did not stay for long at all — claiming other appointments, they made their excuses before the tea tray arrived. Shortly after their departure, the Netherfield men arrived. Lydia did not have to chivvy her father out of his book-room to greet these visitors. She noticed that he shared her anticipation, although he had already met two of them. Lydia wondered what her brother-in-law would be like.

Mrs. Hill showed Darcy, Mr. Bingley and Mr. Hurst into the parlour. Jane performed the introductions. Mr. Bingley chose to sit with Jane, and Darcy and Mr. Hurst sat with a larger group including Elizabeth and Mary.

Lydia noticed that the light in her older sister's eyes was re-illuminated, and concealed a laugh as Mary took the seat between the two Darcys. 'Tis well that Mary reminds them that they are in company!

Towards the end of their short visit, Mr. Bennet said to the men, "If any of you play chess, I should be glad for a game sometime."

Messrs. Bingley and Hurst demurred, but it was arranged that Darcy would return the following morning.

Lucas Lodge

Darcy

Despite Miss Bingley's many and vocal protestations, the Netherfield residents soon attended a supper at Lucas Lodge. Charlotte greeted them with an apology for the lack of space. "My youngest siblings take their turn to sleep in the carriage this evening, to allow us room for visitors."

Behind her, Elizabeth said in a stage whisper, "Dear Charlotte, I have told you many times that they would be much warmer in our stables."

"I know, dearest Eliza, but Mamma is too proud to accept your hospitality."

"But the children would be doing us a service by eating the mice."

"As ever, you are too kind, especially as cook has used all of ours in the ragout for supper."

Darcy could no longer hide his laughter, so coughed and excused himself to fetch drinks for the friends. He heard Miss Bingley sniff followed by Elizabeth and Charlotte's solicitude.

"I am very worried about your cold, Miss Bingley," said Elizabeth.

"Yes, do come and sit close to the fire," agreed Charlotte, drawing her away. "Shall I fetch a blanket to put over your knees?"

Darcy returned just as Mary came to join them.

"Miss Mary." Darcy bowed as best he could while holding two wineglasses. He offered one to her and the other to his wife.

"I thank you, Mr. Darcy," said Mary with a broad smile. Looking around to see if anyone was listening, she continued, "It is a relief to see you reunited. Selfishly, I hope that this bodes well for James and me."

"As do I," agreed Elizabeth.

Much to their disappointment, Mr. and Mrs. Darcy could not spend all evening together, but Darcy found comfort in Mary and Mr. Bennet's company. He was delighted, though, to find that their hostess had put them together at the supper table. He was more delighted to feel his wife's foot touching his leg. What is she doing?

He rearranged his napkin as an excuse to look down. Elizabeth seemed to be in contortions: her left leg was tucked under the right, and her toes were creeping up to his knee.

She took a sip of wine and said to him softly, "Do not think of tickling me, Madam."

"The thought never crossed my mind," he replied, with wide-eyed innocence.

Miss Bingley glared at them from along the table.

After supper, Lady Lucas invited the ladies to play the pianoforte. Darcy listened with fond pleasure as Elizabeth sang 'I attempt, from love's sickness', by Purcell, knowing that she chose it for him. He had to stop himself from joining in 'to fly in vain'.

"Dear Mr. Darcy."

Too late, he had let down his guard and talons sank into his arm.

"Please wait for my arm to be offered, Miss Bingley."

She ignored his reprimand and continued. "I can guess the subject of your thoughts, Mr. Darcy."

"I should imagine not." Indeed, I should imagine not.

"You are considering how insupportable this place is; this society. I quite agree. And for you to have been trapped into sitting near some of the local strumpets is unconscionable," she cooed familiarly, leaning too close.

I rather enjoyed sitting next to one of the local strumpets!

"You are totally wrong, I assure you. My mind was more agreeably engaged. I have been meditating on the very great pleasure which a pair of fine eyes in the face of a pretty woman can bestow.''

Miss Bingley managed to hold his arm tighter, fixing her eyes on his face. "And may I enquire which lady inspires such reflection?"

"The young lady there, talking with Sir William and his son."

"Miss Eliza Bonnet? When am I to wish you joy?"

Mr. Hurst had joined them and said, "I knew that you would say that; your imagination jumping from admiration to love and to matrimony and to wishing Darcy joy."

I already know that joy!

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