Madam and Missy — A Pride and Prejudice Variation
This is dedicated to all the writers both here and on KU who've released their stories for free! As I enjoy reading them so much, I thought that I'd have a go, and here it is.
[Note that I'm a Brit, so have written with British spelling, punctuation and terminology 😏]
In which Mr. Wickham defames Darcy, and Mr. Bennet salutes Lydia
Meryton
Lydia
Silly, flirtatious Lydia lost no time in getting to know the officers of the militia. Ever-so-clever Lydia befriended Captain Carter and Mr. Denny who appeared to spend much time with 'Godson'. Her plan met with success when Mr. Denny introduced 'Mr. Wickham'.
How arrogant — he has not chosen a new name, thought Lydia.
One day, accompanied by Mr. Collins, the Bennet sisters were walking through Meryton when they saw Mr. Bingley and Darcy riding towards them. Lydia had been directing her sisters towards the group of officers, but paused with them to greet the riders.
After the usual civilities, Mr. Bingley inquired about Jane's health. Darcy did likewise. Lydia noticed that he was trying not to stare at Elizabeth, and watched as 'Godson' noticed Darcy's poorly-concealed attraction to her sister before he and Mr. Bingley rode away.
Well done, Brother. That was perfect!
When Mr. Bingley had ridden away too, and the officers had joined them, Lydia took and shook Elizabeth's arm and cried, "We should invite the officers to meet Pappa, think you not, Lizzy?"
"Yes, Lydia," agreed Elizabeth, her eyes on Mr. Wickham. "You would be most welcome."
Longbourn
Mr. Wickham
Mr. Wickham was pleased to have observed Darcy from across the street and knew that his nemesis had not spotted him. He had noticed Darcy's interest in the second Bennet girl, surprised that he had not been more interested in the older, blonde sister. As the group walked to Longbourn, he thought that he would have to get to know this small dark-haired woman who could not take her eyes from him. Perhaps Fitzy-Witzy likes those curves.
At Longbourn, they were introduced to the master of house, the youngest sister having pulled him into the parlour.
"You must meet the officers, Pappa! Here are Captain Carter and Mister Denny and Mister Wickham. See how grand they look in their regimentals!"
"Aye, that they do, child. Now, perhaps, you will call for tea."
A tray of tea and cakes arrived and the eldest Miss Bennet poured tea for them all.
Mr. Wickham examined the room. Nothing of value here — apart from their virtue. He contrived to sit by the small dark-haired sister, irritated that the flirtatious one also sat with them.
"Did I see the master of Netherfield earlier, Miss Elizabeth?" He looked at her with an earnest expression.
"Yes, Mr. Wickham, a Mr. Bingley and his guest," replied Elizabeth.
"Mr. Darcy," Lydia piped up. "He is ever so rich!"
"Are you much acquainted with them?" Mr. Wickham asked Elizabeth.
"As much as we ever wish to be," Lydia answered, speaking before Elizabeth could draw breath. "Poor Lizzy spent four days in the same house with them. Mr. Bingley was kind, but the rest of the household were very disagreeable."
Elizabeth nodded and said, "I was nursing our eldest sister and was glad to be home again."
"Mmm," agreed Lydia, leaning forward keenly. "Many here are disgusted by his pride. What else can you tell us, Mr. Wickham? I must be the first to know. Imagine, Lizzy, to know before our Aunt Phillips!" She pulled on her sister's arm.
"I grew up with Mr. Darcy," said Mr. Wickham, closing his eyes briefly as if in sorrow. "We spent many happy hours together as boys, but, as we grew, he became more and more haughty and reserved. You must understand that I was his father's favourite, but was cast from their good graces because of the son's jealousy."
His audience looked shocked.
"I was to go up to Cambridge upon finishing school, you understand, but the son persuaded the father that I should not. I was to study for the church and expected a living on old Mr. Darcy's death, you understand."
"That is awful! What did you do instead?" gasped Lydia.
"I had to make my own way in the world." He contrived to make his expression cheerfully resigned, with a small hint of distress. "I must have employment and society, you understand, and have met these excellent men, so consider myself fortunate." He gestured around him. "Also, I am enjoying the society here in Hertfordshire."
"You are too good, Mr. Wickham," cried Lydia. "It is a shame that you have called so late in the day — I cannot go to visit our Aunt Phillips until the morrow!"
"I beg you not tell your aunt, Miss Lydia. I should not like this spoken of, you understand, as I should not like to disappoint the hopes or disgrace the memory of his father." He looked sadly into the distance.
"But this is quite shocking! He deserves to be publicly disgraced."
"Some time or other he will be — but it shall not be by me. 'Til I can forget his father, I can never defy or expose him, you understand."
"But I long to tell Aunt Phillips," said Lydia with a pout.
"What about the remainder of his family? Miss Bingley spoke of Mr. Darcy's sister. Do you know her?" asked Elizabeth, putting a restraining hand on Lydia's forearm.
"I hear from around town that she is very proud, you understand, and too much like her brother." He shook his head in disappointment. They believe every word!
"I care not for proud people, they are no fun to be with!" declared Lydia.
"You are most correct, Miss Lydia," agreed Mr. Wickham. He looked around as if for eavesdroppers and spoke more softly, forcing them to lean towards him to hear his words, and said, "Beware that Mr. Darcy does not dally with you or your sisters— "
"Ooh! 'Dally'? What do you mean by 'dally'?" cried Lydia, her hands over her mouth and eyes wide with excitement.
"Oh, I ought not say. No, not to gentlewomen." Mimicking Lydia, Mr. Wickham covered his own mouth. "Please forgive me for speaking so unguardedly. Forget that I said anything." He shook his head.
"No, no; tell us all!" Lydia insisted.
Hooked! It works every time!
Mr. Wickham took a breath and looked resigned. "Very well," he sighed. "He is known to trifle with young women— " Ha ha, as if Fitzy-Witzy knew what to do with a woman!
The younger girl was hooked. "'Trifle'? What does that mean?"
The older girl clearly understood a little more of the world. "Lydia, shh."
"But— "
"Shh!"
"Not gentlewomen, you understand; so you and your sisters are safe." He paused and looked pained, pressing the backs of his fingers to his mouth. "Yes, probably safe."
"Oh, I cannot believe it!" exclaimed Elizabeth. "I never thought such a thing!"
Managing to look very distressed, Mr. Wickham had more to say. "The fathers can but do little as he is promised to his cousin — she is just as proud as he is, you understand."
"He is betrothed?" demanded Lydia, shocked.
"Yes, it was arranged nigh on ten years ago; Fitzy-Witzy— "
"Who is Fitzy-Witzy?" the older sister asked, a small frown on her face.
"Oh, it is Fitzwilliam." He smiled in sad reminiscence. "I still think of him fondly, remembering the times that we played together as boys." His happy face dropped to one of distress as he continued, "This was before his character was fixed as a—, no, I ought not say it, you understand — before the Darcys cast me out. Fitzwilliam and his cousin, Anne de Bourgh, were promised to each other in their cradles, you understand, and the betrothal was formalised when he and I finished school."
Lydia's eyes widened and she nudged a speechless Elizabeth. "Poor Miss Bingley!"
"Miss Bingley?" echoed Mr. Wickham.
Lydia echoed his furtive looks and said, gleefully, "She seems set upon becoming Mrs. Darcy. Is that not so, Lizzy?"
"I am not certain that this is a suitable topic, Lydia." Elizabeth regained her voice.
"You are no fun!"
Mr. Collins arrived to join their conversation.
"It is known throughout the kingdom, that my maritime and monogrammed patroness, her ladyship, the Lady Catherine de Bourgh would not approve of fun of any kind."
Captain Carter announced that it was time for them to return to their duties. The officers took their leave. Mr. Wickham was not too disappointed but was pleased with his efforts to discredit Fitzy-Witzy.
Mr. Bennet
Mr. Wickham, Mr. Denny and Captain Carter called again at Longbourn two days later, and were shown to the master's book-room. Mr. Bennet stood to greet them, saying, "You are most welcome to join me, Captain, Lieutenants, but my daughters are not at home to visitors this morning."
When the officers expressed their disappointment, he continued, "The younger are with their governess and the older are attending to their household duties. Should you wish to call on them, late in the afternoons is more convenient — say at four o'clock, should your own duties allow. Thus, unless you wish to join me for a game of chess, I must bid you adieu."
None of the visitors wished to play chess so they took their leave, promising to return later in the day.
Mr. Bennet called Lydia to his book-room and told her of the visitors.
"Do you expect them to return this afternoon?" she asked him.
"I know not, child, but we must ready ourselves," he replied.
"When do we allow Mr. Wickham to see Melissa? He will surely notice her resemblance to Lizzy and draw the natural conclusion. Should we allow him to charm Lizzy first?"
"Let us think it through — Mr. Wickham has seen Darcy's admiration for Lizzy, then he supposes Melissa to be Lizzy's natural child — what would he do?"
"He would rub his hands together with glee, thinking that Mr. Darcy admires a fallen woman," she replied.
"Would he assume that Darcy is in ignorance of Melissa's parenthood?"
"He appears to blinded by his own cleverness, so probably would think that he is the only person to notice and that Mr. Darcy is blinded by his — a word that I should not know."
Mr. Bennet raised his eyebrows. "Quite right, quite right. Would Mr. Wickham then send a message to 'Lynx'?"
Lydia laughed.
"What do you find amusing?"
"We know their codes! We could send a message ourselves!" she cried.
He joined in with her laughter. "Why have you waited until now to suggest this? Imagine the fun that we could have!" He sobered and continued, "I think that you have struck a very good idea. We shall need to enlist Darcy to supply us with a copy of the seal with the galloping horse."
"And, perhaps he would also have one made to match 'Lynx's modest crown with the letter 'C'. Did you notice that Mr. Wickham was wearing the galloping-horse ring?"
"I did. He seems sure of his invulnerability, does he not?"
"Were you close enough to overhear our conversation with him?"
"A little."
"He has a verbal tic, you understand, which becomes more frequent, you understand, the more he lies, you understand!"
Mr. Bennet guffawed. "No, I did not notice, but shall listen for it next time." He paused to think. "What say you that we keep him away from Melissa until we have given Darcy his orders?"
"Yes, Pappa, and I shall stay with Lizzy during the officers' visit — for I do so enjoy flirting with them."
"Take care, child. I shall also be in attendance, 'you understand'. Now," he said, changing the subject, "you might be interested in this reply that I have received to my enquiries about 'Rot' and his suitability to become my son." He handed her the report.
"Will you make such enquiries about all of our suitors?" she asked, reading through it.
"To quote one of my sons, 'indeed'! I shall not part with any of you to unworthy men."
"There is no malice here, no unworthiness," Lydia remarked as she read. "Though it seems as if 'Rot' is rather capricious and a little weak-minded. I should not care for Jane to suffer disappointed hopes."
"Nor I." He tapped the desk as he thought. "We must also consider the 'rotten' sisters."
"Pappa. Let us show this to Jane. It is quite reasonable for you to have made enquiries about a young man showing interest in your daughter. She is trusting, not stupid. She need not know that this is part of a larger scheme."
"Again you suggest something new! Send her to me now, if you please," he said, touching his temple in half salute.
"Aye aye, sir!"
Jane soon arrived at his door. "You wished to speak with me, Pappa?"
"Come in, Jane. Close the door and sit with me," he said.
She did as bidden and sat waiting in silence for him to begin.
"Well, Jane. Having seen Mr. Bingley's interest in you— "
Immediately, she blushed and looked down. "He is merely being neighbourly."
"Allow a man to see another man's interest, daughter. Mr. Bingley is interested in you. Having seen that interest, I have made some enquiries into his character."
"Pappa! I am certain that that was not necessary."
"Do not upset yourself, Jane. I make such enquiries about all young men who come within twenty miles of Longbourn." He handed the report, saying, "I should like you to read it."
"That cannot be proper," Jane demurred.
"It might not be proper, but I should like you to read it, nonetheless."
Reluctantly, she read through the papers.
"What think you, Jane?" Mr. Bennet asked, as she reached the end.
"Has he really shown interest in all of these ladies?" Pale faced, she reread a page, counting. "Eleven in three years? Is he so fickle?"
"I fear so, my dear." He passed her his handkerchief. "I know not whether his character can be changed and I know not whether you care to make the attempt. I shall not force you to decide straightaway, but shall advise you to guard your heart."
They stood, and he held her in his embrace.
"Excuse me, Pappa. I shall think upon this," Jane said and left his book-room.
Poor child.
Elizabeth
The next morning, Elizabeth and Sarah met Darcy and Stevens and the couples wandered away from each other for privacy. Elizabeth handed Darcy a letter from her father, explaining that he and her sister had been plotting again.
"He bids me to replace the seal that Wickham stole from me in Cambridge, and to commission one to match Lady Catherine's," he said, reading the letter. "He thinks to mislead the conspirators."
"Lydia seems to think it a great joke. I believe that she is enjoying making up nonsensical messages," said Elizabeth with a smile. She took his free hand and asked, "Will you depart today?"
"Indeed, my dear and only wife. I shall bear a short separation today in the hope that it will bring forward our permanent union." He lifted her hand to his lips.
"It cannot come too soon, my only husband. I am not enjoying being friendly with Mr. Wickham." She shuddered. "Lydia keeps nudging me to remind me of the part that I must play."
"I do not care for the thought of that rogue making love to you." Darcy clenched his fists.
"Ow!" she cried, snatching her hand away from his.
"Oh, I am sorry, my love!" he retook her hand and kissed her palm. "There, you hold all of my love — I shall be careful to direct my anger elsewhere."
"Master!"
"And you shall not direct it at Stevens," admonished Elizabeth, turning to greet the breathless valet.
"Master! There are soldiers coming this way! Among them is Wickham!"
"Flee! These are our woods, they ought not be here and you must not be seen," said Elizabeth. "I shall see you on your return." She touched his heart with her finger, then her own with her thumb.
Sarah caught up to them as Darcy and Stevens stole away. Mistress and maid linked arms and walked in the direction of Longbourn talking loudly of mundane household matters.
Please don't copy 😏