DISCLAIMER: I do not own High School Musical or any related characters.
A/N: Okay, here is the next chapter and just read it with an open mind, please. So here it is!
Saving Me
CHAPTER 8
PERFECT WORLD
Gabriella hugged her books to her chest as she made her way to her locker. It had been almost a week since she had broken down on Troy, but to Gabriella it had felt like a year. Slowly her life had built up again. The shattered pieces that had littered her life now seemed to be connected solidly; her entire life had seemed to take on some normality. And it was all due to one boy; Gabriella felt a small smile play on her lips as she thought about Troy. Her entire life had changed the second she had run into him, he had helped her rebuild her life; he had forced her to come to terms with what had happened. He had silenced the constant questions in her head and he had restored some peace into her life. The only thing that he hadn't done was answer her question, he hadn't answered why it had happened to her and as Gabriella thought about it she realized she had never actually mentioned the question to him. Frowning, she stopped in front of her locker and wondered why she had never mentioned it to him. Gabriella trusted Troy more than she trusted anyone else and she wasn't just saying that. He was the only one, besides her father, who she had allowed all the way in. He was the only one that could read her like an open book and it had only taken him a week to be able to do that. Gabriella spun the dial on her locker and opened it, she placed her books in and stood there, frowning, as her thoughts drifted to the question she had thought about a week ago. Was she falling towards Troy or was she falling for him? Gabriella still didn't know. What she did know that all he had to do was smile and she felt safe and butterflies that hadn't been there before erupted in her stomach. One look from him could make her smile, one word and she felt like nothing wrong was ever going to happen again. Shivers ran up and down her spine when she thought about his arms around her, electricity ran through her veins when he did touch her and long after he had touched her she could still feel his hand where ever it had been. Gabriella shivered as she thought about his effect on her and than jumped when she heard his voice.
"Hey" Gabriella turned to face him and he grinned at her frowning face, almost immediately the butterflies erupted.
"Hey, aren't you meant to be somewhere? The gym perhaps?" she asked teasingly, smiling at him and forgetting her thoughts. His smile turned into a frown.
"Don't remind me, you know how much I don't want to be 'basketball guy' right now" he replied running a hand through his hair.
"Yeah" she sighed and he looked at her worriedly.
"Are you okay?" Gabriella looked up into Troy's clear blue eyes and cocked her head to one side.
"No, mom still isn't talking to me" she replied with a sad smile.
"Have you apologized?" Troy asked and Gabriella hugged herself.
"It's not that simple Troy, if it was she would be talking to me! But what I said to her, I don't think that I can take it back or make-up for it" Gabriella snapped at him and Troy leaned against the locker next to hers as Gabriella shut the door to her locker.
"What did you say?" he asked curiously.
"You really want to know?" Gabriella replied wincing and he nodded.
"I kind of told her that she didn't know who I was and that she didn't know that I was still there" she told him and Troy raised his eyebrows.
"Okay" he said and Gabriella looked at the ground.
"Look, she begged me to talk to her in the car and I told her that in this really, I don't know, emotionless voice and than I may have played this song that wasn't exactly the smartest thing I've ever done and she hasn't spoken to me since" Gabriella explained and she felt tears well up.
She hated this! Every other part of her life was fine, except her mother. Gabriella knew what she had been doing was right, she knew she was protecting her mother from her thoughts, every nasty one, every memory that she had had in the past few months. But it still hurt when she sat at the breakfast table and no conversation flowed, or when she sat down at the table and her mother stood and went to eat in another room. How did you make something like this right, when the person didn't even want to talk to you?
"Alright, hey it's okay. It'll just take some figuring out" Troy said gently and Gabriella looked up. A strand of hair fell into her eyes and he reached up and pushed it behind her ear, moving closer to her as he did so.
Gabriella blushed and felt her stomach turn as he looked down at her caringly. She bit her lip as she realized he hadn't removed his hand from her face, his thumb was stroking her cheek softly and Gabriella leaned into it, enjoying the tingling sensation that was slowly spreading from the spot that his thumb was stroking.
"Troy, you have to get to basketball" she barely whispered after a moment.
His thumb stopped stroking her face and his hand just rested where it was. Gabriella looked up and found that his blue eyes were full of something she had never seen before. No-one had ever looked at her the way he was now. She looked down again and than back up to meet his eyes which had lost the look.
"Troy, seriously" Gabriella said this time a little louder and he grinned, which caused her stomach to flip again.
"Alright, miss bossy boots, I'll see you later" Troy said and let his hand drop, but not before allowing his fingers to drag lightly over her cheek.
Gabriella swallowed hard as she felt his fingers, she suddenly realized how close he was standing to her and her breathing started to hitch.
"I'll see you later" he said again and vanished before Gabriella could pull herself together.
Taylor stood just out of view Gabriella, her face highlighted by a scowl. She did not like what she had just seen; this was not meant to be happening. Troy and Gabriella were not meant to put on such a show of affection. They weren't even meant to be looking at each other. Taylor was almost certain that Troy was the reason Gabriella hadn't given her a straight answer about joining the Decathlon team, every time she asked Gabriella about joining, Gabriella diverted the conversation to another subject. Taylor was also suspicious of their 'private' conversations, which always seemed to end when Taylor showed up or sometimes even when Troy's lunk head best friend, Chad, showed up. Throwing her hands in the air, she turned and walked the other way, determined to put an end to this social………misconception.
Taylor found who she was looking for in the gym, thanking the lord that Chad was the only one there. Her mind briefly visited the last time she had been in the gym and the scene that had confronted her.
"Chad" she said and he turned around with a confused look on his face.
"And you are?" Chad asked quizzically and Taylor closed her eyes and counted to ten, to make sure she didn't say anything sarcastic.
"Taylor" she replied opening her eyes.
"Mmm-hmm, you're talking to me because?" Taylor ignored the arrogant tone and concentrated on why she had come.
"Troy and Gabriella" she replied with a smirk as he dropped that ball and stared at her.
"What about them?" a new voice asked and Taylor turned to find a tall African-American, Zeke, she remembered his name from homeroom and a slightly shorter white boy, Jason, who was also in her homeroom.
"Okay, you all need Troy for your basketball championship, right?" she asked ignoring the question and they nodded, focusing on her intently.
"And my team needs Gabriella for our competition on the same day" Taylor continued and they looked at her confused.
"I know that Troy has missed two practices and had been late for a few others and those practices Troy's missed have been on the same time as my practices which Gabriella had also missed. Are we seeing a connection?" Taylor asked and realization dawned on their faces.
"So, what are we going to do about it? We need Troy completely focused for the game and if he's off gallivanting with Gabriella, that's not going to happen" Chad said slowly and Jason jumped in.
"Besides, he's Troy Bolton, he's not meant to be hanging out with some science chick" Taylor winced as she heard him talk about Gabriella like that but let it go seeing as Chad seemed to be acting serious for the first time since kindergarten.
"Okay, Taylor" Chad said her name as if it was a foreign word her wasn't quite sure how to pronounce "I know I can get Troy to say things that'll make Gabriella forget all about him, all we have to do is get her to hear it" he continued confidently and she nodded.
"We'll start tomorrow" she said happily and all three of them shook their heads.
"No, today" Chad said decidedly and Taylor paused before shrugging, they might as well do it sooner rather than later.
Gabriella sighed happily as she sat down in chemistry. Not only was she in her favorite class, but every time she closed her eyes she could feel Troy's hand, his thumb stroking her cheek. It sent pleasurable chills through her body, they had been so close! Gabriella couldn't describe the feeling, but she did know it made her happy. It was the happiness that had been evading her for a long time and all it had taken was a boy and it had been restored. Perhaps not fully, because Gabriella knew her life was never going to be complete without her father, but still, she was happier than she had been since she had found out about her father's illness.
"Sorry, I'm late" Taylor took the vacant seat next to Gabriella and opened her book ready to take notes.
"Its okay, you're not that late. Where were you?" Gabriella asked not seeing the way Taylor shifted in her seat uncomfortably.
"Uh, I needed to get my new chemistry book from my locker, I finished the old one" she replied and Gabriella nodded, her face turning serious as the teacher walked in.
Gabriella sighed with relief as the bell rang signaling the beginning of her lunch period. She took her time to organize her books as Taylor seemed to be lost in a world of her own. Her thoughts drifted to Troy and she wondered what he was doing, she smirked as she realized he was probably surrounded by his friends discussing the all important championship game next week. Her smile grew as she thought about how he didn't really mind if they lost or not, whereas his friends believed it to be a do or die situation. Gabriella knew that the game was important to Troy, but at the same time she realized that he needed to breathe as much as she needed to be saved. He'd even told her in a round about way that for once, just once, he would like to talk about something other than basketball with his friends or concentrate on something that was completely unrelated to the game.
"Gabriella, we can go now" Taylor waved a hand in front of her friends face and Gabriella jumped and nearly dropped her books.
"Oh, okay" she replied blinking at the annoyed look on Taylor's voice.
The left the classroom and headed for Gabriella's locker, which was a closer walk than Taylor's. Gabriella's thoughts drifted to her mother, who had been working more than usual lately. She supposed it was because she didn't want to be in Gabriella's presence. Gabriella frowned as she remembered that she had heard her mother ask a picture of her father what to do about her. Carmen hadn't known Gabriella was in the room and Gabriella had made sure that she didn't know. Her mother must be struggling as much as Gabriella was, but why couldn't Carmen be the one to start? Why did she have to beg Gabriella to talk to her? Gabriella hadn't wanted to start, she wanted her mother to. Now, was it too late? Should she have taken the chance when it was offered to her? No, Gabriella knew she shouldn't have. Her mother wouldn't know what to do when Gabriella told her some of the things she remembered or some of the things her father had told her. Carmen should be happy with her own memories and her own feelings. She didn't need to know Gabriella's. That was the end of it.
"Gabriella, are you going to open your locker or stand there and frown at it?" Taylor's voice snapped her out of her thoughts and Gabriella offered a weak smile as she opened the locker.
"Sorry, I kind of zoned out" she replied placing her books in.
"To where? Troy land?" Taylor asked sarcastically and Gabriella frowned at her.
"Gabriella, he's bound to hurt you sooner or later" Taylor informed her as a piece of paper fell to the ground.
Ignoring Taylor, Gabriella bent down and picked it up. Opening it she read it and a small smile appeared on her face, she folded it up again and looked at Taylor who was tapping her foot impatiently.
"Go ahead to lunch, I'll see you later" she said and Taylor nodded.
Gabriella shut her locker and headed towards the English rooms. Taylor waited for a few moments and than followed her, staying just out of sight.
Gabriella frowned slightly as she realized that she was the only one in the hallway and than shrugged, it was lunchtime after all everyone was probably in the cafeteria. Her thoughts wandered back to the note. What was so important that Troy had to meet her in an empty classroom? They could have just gone to the rooftop; he always went there when he wanted to talk to her. What was different about today? Gabriella stopped outside the classroom and noticed that the door was already open. Troy stood in the doorway and instinct told Gabriella to talk to him, but she noticed how his shoulders were tensed and waited.
"Guys, if you're so positive I won't put a hundred and ten percent of my guts into the game. Than you have no idea who I am" Troy said and Chad folded his arms, out of the corner of his eye he saw Gabriella.
"But suddenly the girl, the missing practice and the secret" Chad said encouraging him ever so slightly.
The entire room and Gabriella held their breath as they waited for Troy to answer. Gabriella waited impatiently for him to answer. Troy let out an amused laugh.
"The girl? The secret? Are you guys serious? You of all people should know that the girl doesn't matter to me! And her secret? Probably the most laughable thing I've heard all year! I know I missed two practices, but seriously I was held against my will listening to her go on about her secret. You all should know that my first and only priority is the game and winning the game. Gabriella and her secret don't matter, they never did and they never will. Everybody happy now?" Troy snapped at them.
Gabriella stood rooted to the spot, her world shattering at his words. Everything she had thought was real, everything he had said, everything he had done, every word, every look, everything had been a lie. Who would do that? She'd thought he was different. She'd thought that he may have cared, the way he had looked at her made her think that. Gabriella could feel the tears burning at her eyes and she took a step back, her head was spinning and her heart felt as if it had been torn out and crushed. She didn't want to believe what he had just said; she couldn't believe that the one person she had let all the way in was the one who had crushed her life all over again. She'd thought that he had been the one saving her; she'd thought he had been the one to catch her as she fell. Why had he done it? After everything that she had told him, how could he do something like this? How could he say she didn't matter to him? When Gabriella knew that she had, she'd thought she had at least. Why was this happening to her?
Gabriella took another step back as Troy turned around. Brown eyes met blue and Gabriella watched as Troy froze in shock. She ignored the boys behind him and concentrated only on the stunned boy in front of her. Gabriella felt a single tear slide down her cheek and on instinct, she supposed, Troy lifted his hand to wipe it away. Gabriella pulled back as another tear fell.
"Gabriella" he said, pleading with her and Gabriella shook her head as she continued to back down the hallway. She paused for a moment and Troy took a step toward her.
"Gabriella" he said again as she took another step away from him, Gabriella suddenly realized she was shaking and tears were now cascading down her face.
"I let you in" she choked out and than turned and fled, not before seeing the grins on the other boys faces and Troy's blue eyes pleading with her silently.
Gabriella didn't look back, she didn't notice Taylor hiding in one of the classrooms, she just kept on running. She ignored the looks some of the students gave her as she ran out the front doors. Gabriella headed to the only place she knew would be the safest place to cry. She ran home. Gabriella burst into her house and ran past her mother, who stood frozen in shock at the sight of her distraught daughter running past her. Gabriella reached her room, opened the door and slammed it shut, before collapsing against it. Gabriella sobbed uncontrollably and hugged herself. This time there were no warm arms to hold her as she shook, no-one to rub her back gently as she hiccupped, no-one to give her a sense of security. The only two people who had been able to do that weren't there, one was dead and one had been a lie. A lie she hadn't seen. Why had she thought that he was different? Why weren't there any signs? How could he act like he cared when he was just toying with her? Who could be so heartless? So cruel? Why did he have to choose her to do this to? Why prey on someone who was already hurt? Gabriella managed to pick herself up off the ground and find her way to her bed. Picking up her remote she turned in her stereo and skipped to track three on the disc.
I never could've seen this far
I never could've seen this coming
It seems like my worlds falling apart
Yeah
Why is everything so hard?
I don't think that I can deal with the things you said
It just won't go away
In a perfect world
This could never happen
In a perfect world
You'd still be here
And it makes no sense
I could just pick up the pieces
But to you
This means nothing
Nothing at all
I used to think that I was strong
Until the day it all went wrong
I think I need a miracle to make it through
Yeah
I wish that I could bring you back
I wish that I could turn back time
Cause I can't let you go
I just can't find my way
Yeah
Without you I just can't find my way
In a perfect world
This could never happen
In a perfect world
You'd still be here
And it makes no sense
I could just pick up the pieces
But to you
This means nothing
Nothing at all
I don't know what I should do now
I don't know where I should go
I'm still here waiting for you
I'm lost when you're not around
I need to hold onto you
I just can't let you go
Yeah
Yeah
In a perfect world
This could never happen
In a perfect world
You'd still be here
And it makes no sense
I could just pick up the pieces
But to you
This means nothing
Nothing at all
Nothing at all
Gabriella felt a lone tear stray down her cheek as the song came to a close. She couldn't have seen this far, she'd had no idea that this was coming. Her world wasn't falling apart it had fallen apart. Again. Gabriella knew life was hard, but she couldn't deal with what Troy had said and at the same time they wouldn't go away. She knew that she had been strong, strong enough to deal with her father's death and her mother's silence, but this? She wasn't strong enough for; a miracle was the only thing that could help her through this but they didn't exist. Gabriella wanted to be numb again, she didn't want to feel this pain, so different from the one she had experienced a week ago but at the same time exactly the same. Gabriella's mind slowed and the pain dulled as she felt her eyelids grow heavy.
"In a perfect world you'd still be here" she whispered.
A perfect world doesn't exist, Gabriella, if it did this would never have happened, she thought as another tear traced a path down her cheek. Gabriella's eyes closed as realization dawned on her. She hadn't been falling towards him she had been falling for him.
A/N: Glad that's over, that chapter was so hard to write. My brother was reading what Troy said and even he said what Troy said was harsh and he has no idea what the story is about! Anyway, I did tell you to read it with an open mind. I will say that things will get better, just not how and when. I'll try and update as soon as I can. The reason this took so long to post is the indoor hockey season has started and I'm at the stadium nearly every afternoon, that and basketball has started to so I'm at school in the afternoon's for that as well. Yep, my life centre around sport in case you didn't pick that up from my pen name. Oh and the song was another Simple Plan song, 'Perfect World' in case you didn't guess. So I will try as hard as I can to update soon! Till than Servus! (That's one of the ways to say goodbye in German)