DISCLAIMER: I do not own High School Musical or any related characters.
A/N: So I hope you all liked the last chapter, because here is the new one, I hope you enjoy it!
Saving Me
CHAPTER 10
BEHIND THESE HAZEL EYES
Gabriella sighed in relief when she heard the final bell. Ever since she had yelled at Troy she had been constantly stared at and where ever she walked whispers would follow. She hadn't taken any particular notice of it at first, seeing as she was too preoccupied with her thoughts and questions about Troy. But than during lunch, Gabriella had finally noticed all the eyes that followed her every move. Everyone seemed to follow her what she was doing, she didn't quite understand why they were all so interested in her every movement, especially the girls, until Taylor had told her a little bit about Troy's past and how he never seemed to allow a girl near, even when they clung to him tighter than his own clothes. Taylor had told her that everyone had heard Troy say he was waiting for someone special. The only person who didn't seem to be following her actions was the one person who Gabriella had half expected too. Troy seemed to be blatantly ignoring her the same way she had for most of the day. Although Gabriella didn't want to admit it, she had hoped to get a reaction out of Troy. She had hoped that something that she had said to him would have gotten through to him. Maybe she hadn't hoped, so much as wished that something she had said had gotten through to him.
"Gabriella! Hey Gabriella" Taylor's voice snapped her out of her daze and Gabriella stopped walking to wait for her friend.
"Hi Taylor" she said softly.
Taylor looked at the girl in front of her and wondered how she could have done such a horrible thing to her. Gabriella had changed since the day, sure before that day there had been something about her that didn't quite fit and Taylor could only assume that it had something to do with her father, but than Troy had started to talk to her and the something had lifted until two days ago when he had said those things. Than it had come back, except this time it was evident to everyone around her and Taylor could tell it was slowly killing her inside.
"Hi, so can I walk with you?" she asked flinching as Gabriella looked at her and she saw the sadness in her eyes.
"Sure" Gabriella shrugged and the two girls began to walk again, both silent, both to caught up in their own thoughts to talk.
Gabriella folded her arms as she walked side by side with Taylor. It was strange to hear her friends so silent; usually she was so talkative and rarely ever seemed so preoccupied with something. She glanced at Taylor and than looked at the ground, her thoughts automatically turning to Troy. She sighed as she remembered how he had said her name as she had walked away from him. It had been so caring, so gentle and although she didn't really want to admit it but the word loving came to mind. He had said her name and the whole point of her yelling at him had come out. How could she have told him that? That last thing she had said to him hadn't meant to come out, he wasn't meant to know that he had been the one saving her. He wasn't meant to know that she had been, or was, falling for him. Gabriella's thoughts drifted back to what she had thought in the bathroom and the questions started again, the most predominate one being, did she want to be without him? At the time Gabriella hadn't really thought about it, but every time the questions passed through her mind a slight ache in her heart would surface and than recede as the question disappeared. But now, now that she had ended it, now that she had walked away, now that Troy knew, she had to admit that the thought of coming to school and seeing Troy and not being able to share a secret smile, not being able to talk to him, not being able to feel him was as inviting as going home to her mother. Now that Troy knew, Gabriella could feel the hole in her heart that had been left when her father had died, grow bigger, it grew bigger because the two people who had somehow managed to become the center of her world had both gone. Her world had revolved around her father since she had opened her eyes to when he had closed his and Troy, Troy had been her world for all of a week, he had been her world since he had thawed her heart, to when he had broken it. Gabriella let out a sigh and glanced at Taylor again, as she glanced at Taylor Gabriella ran into something solid. Something she recognized, someone she recognized. Troy caught her waist as Gabriella started to fall backwards, out of the corner of her eye Gabriella saw that the same thing had happened to Taylor and that Chad had done what Troy had done. Steeling herself for cold blue eyes Gabriella looked up at Troy. Only to find his eyes unreadable.
"S-sorry" she gasped their eyes still locked, his arms still around her waist, suddenly the unreadable blue eyes turned cold and the warm arms slipped from her waist.
"Watch where you're going next time, someone might not catch you when you fall" Troy replied shoving his hands into his pockets, Gabriella's eyes filled with tears and shock at the hurtful words that had just spilled from his mouth, she stepped back from him.
Chad and Taylor watched the exchanged with horror, they had caused that. Taylor could see Gabriella fighting to stay composed and Chad could see Troy fighting to pull Gabriella back into his arms and apologize over and over again for something he didn't do.
Determinedly Gabriella fought back the tears that threatened to show; she wasn't going to cry in front of him again, she wasn't going to give him an excuse to tear her apart anymore than he already had. She wasn't going to give him anything more to hurt her with. She recognized his words; it was just a repeat of what she had yelled at him about. Gabriella bit her lip and opened her mouth to say something and nothing came out, because she couldn't do it, she couldn't hurt him anymore than she had. She closed her mouth and silently walked past him, avoiding brushing his arm as she walked, eyes trained on the ground, her dark hair covering her face.
Taylor and Chad exchanged a look as Troy walked the other way, eyes on the ground, his dirty blonde hair covering his eyes. Chad nodded and released Taylor's waist, they knew they had to fix this; they had to do something to make their friends happy. Both of them knew that Troy and Gabriella would never be happy until they were together again. Taylor ran after Gabriella and finally caught up to her half a block from school.
"Gabriella! Gabriella stop!" Taylor said as she ran up to her, hearing the urgency in her friends voice Gabriella stopped walking and looked up at her.
"Yes?" she asked quietly, Taylor could see the path the tears had traced and she felt a pang as she realized that it was partly her fault.
"This whole Troy thing, with him saying all those things, was a set-up" Taylor told her quickly and Gabriella froze, unable to believe what had just come out of Taylor's mouth.
"What?" she whispered hoping she had heard wrong.
"The other day, when you and Troy where at your locker it looked like he was about to kiss you and I thought Troy was the reason you wouldn't give me a straight answer about the decathlon and another reasoning was that you two shouldn't be hanging out and I was jealous because you never told me what you and Troy actually talked about and so when I saw that, I went to Chad and he agreed with me because they needed Troy focused for the championship game. Anyway, we came up with that because there was no time to waste. Troy said all that stuff but he didn't mean it, he only said it because Chad knew if he pushed the right buttons Troy would say things like that. I wrote the note and the plan was all mine, we didn't know how close you and Troy were and we didn't know about your dad and I'm really, really, really sorry" Taylor said in a rush, jumping from one part of the story to another, with anyone else she would have lost them but Gabriella caught it all.
Taylor grew worried as Gabriella stared at her; she wanted to get a reaction. Taylor wanted to be shouted at, slapped, torn apart with words, anything but this unbearable silence that was coming from Gabriella.
Gabriella's mind was reeling; it felt like she was having an information overload. Gabriella could see that small part of her that had still been connected crack and shatter and she shook her head, how could Taylor do this? How could she just assume something like that? How could she set her up? How could she do something so hurtful?
"Gabriella, say something please" Taylor's voice broke through her thoughts and Gabriella shook her head.
"I can't, just go, leave me alone Taylor, please" Gabriella's voice shook and Taylor stared at her and than backed away.
Slowly Gabriella turned around and walked to her house. She saw her mother was at home and for the first time was grateful; she was grateful that there was a slightly comforting presence in the world. Gabriella opened the front door and walked in. She dropped her bag by the door and than went in search of her mother, who was sitting in the living room reading a book.
Carmen looked up when she heard her daughter walk in to the room. She closed her book as Gabriella walked over to her and sat down. Carmen looked at her and waited for more hurtful words to come out of her mouth, instead what Gabriella did next surprised her, she kicked off her shoes and placed her head on her mothers lap and stretched out on the lounge. Carmen froze in shock and than carefully placed her book on the table next to the lounge. She waited for something to happen.
Gabriella lay there silently for a moment and than she looked up into her mothers brown eyes, so similar to her own, which were questioning her curiously.
"I'm so sorry mom" she choked out and Carmen looked at her in shock as Gabriella began to sob.
Carmen silently started to stoke her daughter's hair as Gabriella's body shook and tears cascaded down her face. She didn't know what was wrong; all she knew was the Gabriella was hurting. Carmen knew that it took a lot to make Gabriella cry and seeing Gabriella like that, instead of scaring her it relieved her. She was relieved that Gabriella had opened the bottle to her feelings and was letting them out.
After a few minutes of sobbing Gabriella finally regained control of what was happening she lay there in silence as her mother stoked her hair, comforting her and in a way forgiving her for everything Gabriella had said and done that had hurt her. Wiping away her tears Gabriella sat up and leaned on her mothers shoulder. Carmen placed an arm around her shoulder and Gabriella sighed, she loved her mother, but being her mother's arms was nothing, nothing, like being held by Troy. Gabriella closed her eyes as she thought about him.
"I'm going to my room" she whispered and Carmen gave her a squeeze.
"Okay, I'll get you when dinners ready" Carmen replied and Gabriella got up.
As she climbed the stairs her mind turned to Troy. How could he have said that? How could he go from being so warm to being so cold? Which person was he? The warm, wonderful, caring one that she had met a week ago or the cold, heartless one who had said those things? Gabriella sighed again as she opened the door to her room, it didn't make sense. She had thought that he was the one, she'd let him in, he'd made everything alright, Gabriella felt tears well up again and she blinked them back. He wasn't there but she wasn't going to cry over him or in front of him again. She turned on her stereo, threw open her French doors and stood out on her balcony and watched the sun set. As the moon began to rise a song that Gabriella felt suited her began to play on her stereo.
Seems like just yesterday
You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight
Everything it felt so right
Unbreakable like nothing could go wrong
Now I can't breath
No I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together but so broken up inside
Cause I can't breathe
No I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on
Here I am once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
Swallow me than spit me out
For hating you I blame myself
Seeing you it kills me now
No I don't cry on the outside
Anymore
Here I am once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
Here I am once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
Gabriella closed her eyes as the song finished, marveling inwardly at how true the song seemed to be. Wondering how it could be so close to what she actually felt. Wondering how it could make her cry when she promised herself she wouldn't cry over him.
"But you won't get to see the tears I cry" Gabriella whispered and than jumped.
"I already have" Troy's voice was quiet as he spoke and Gabriella spun around to face him.
They stared at each other for a moment and than Gabriella regained her composure.
"How did you get in here?" she asked softly tearing her eyes away from his and looking at the ground.
"Your mom let me in, she told me which room was yours" he replied and Gabriella heard him move closer to her.
"Why are you here? Because if you're here to point out that no-one's going to catch me you don't need to" she snapped at him and backed up as he took another step closer to her.
"I'm not, I'm here to talk to you" Troy said and Gabriella looked up and took another step back.
"About what?" she whispered as he moved even closer, Gabriella moved away from him only to find herself trapped, her back was to the railing and the only way she could get away was to go past Troy and she knew that he wasn't about to let her do that.
"About what Chad and Taylor did and about what I said" Troy told her and took another step closer, there was now only a few centimeters between them, Gabriella suddenly found it hard to breathe and she could feel her heart speed up. Troy pulled his hand out of his pocket and touched her face, wiping away her tears.
"I didn't mean anything I said, Gabriella, none of it is true. When I said your secret was laughable, when I referred to you as 'the girl', when I told them I was held against my will listening to you, I didn't mean any of it. Gabriella, even if I wanted to mean it, I can't. Because meaning it would go against every thing you've made me feel in the last week, I don't know if I can put it into words but there was something about you when you ran into me that made me follow you, there's something about you that just………leaves me amazed. Everything I said to my team was a lie, what I said to you earlier was a lie. Gabriella, I would skip all my practices just to make sure you were alright, I wouldn't play in the championship if you needed me. I know that all sounds crazy because I've known you all of a week, but all of that is true. I don't know if you'll believe me but I had to tell you that" Troy continued,
Gabriella stared at him and she saw the sincerity in his eyes and she knew that he wasn't lying to her. Gabriella didn't know how she knew, her head was telling her was to not trust him, to say something hurtful and close this chapter of her life that had begun a week ago for good, to forget about him and move on. But her heart, her heart was telling her to trust him; her heart was telling her if she closed this chapter she would be left wondering what could have happened, her heart was telling her that if she turned away now there would be no second chance, her heart was telling her that this boy had the answers that she wanted, her heart was telling her that once she had him he would never leave, he would always be there no matter what. And there was something else, something Gabriella didn't recognize but it was pushing her to believe him, it was guiding her ever so gently and Gabriella sighed.
"I believe you" she whispered and his gaze seemed to intensify, she felt she was drowning in blue and she couldn't look away.
Troy's other hand was now on her waist and Gabriella's arms were resting one his, strong, firm shoulders, their lips a hairs breadth apart. When Gabriella felt the something guiding her pull back, telling her it wasn't time, telling her to wait. As much as she didn't want to obey, the something forced her head down, it seemed to take her over and Gabriella couldn't have stopped it even if she had tried.
"Gabriella?" Troy asked and she looked up again, meeting his worried gaze.
Slowly her arms slipped from his shoulders and she shook her head.
"I can't Troy" she whispered and his hand slipped from her face, Gabriella felt the cool breeze brush past and she bit her lip.
"Why not? Don't you believe me?" he asked again shoving the hand that had rested on her face in his pocket.
"Of course I do! It's just, I don't know, I can't, I don't know if I can explain it but please……" she trailed off as he nodded, she saw disappointment in his eyes as well as understanding and she closed her eyes.
"I'm sorry" she said and was surprised when he wrapped his arms around her, she tentatively returned the hug.
They stood there for a moment and Gabriella felt that sense of security that came when he held her, that feeling that everything was going to be alright and she held onto him.
"It's okay, I have to go anyway, so I'll see you tomorrow" Troy said into her hair after a moment, Gabriella nodded and he pulled back.
Gabriella shivered as his arms slipped from around her, and a longing to be back in his arms surfaced, even though he had just removed them. Troy gave her a smile and than leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to her cheek, sending shockwaves of electricity through her body. With one last smile he walked out of her room, without a word. Gabriella hugged herself as she watched him leave and than she turned back to the night sky. She gazed up at the moon and felt a soft smile appear on her face as she realized he had once again managed to help her put the pieces back together. Her mind turned to the something that had been guiding her and she wondered what it was. Turning she walked into her room and her eyes fell on the picture her father had given her and it clicked with her what the something had been. He'd once promised her that he would never leave her and now Gabriella believed that was true, her father had been the one guiding her and he was now telling her that she had to ask Troy the question she wanted to answer most. Gabriella felt the soft smile spread as she began to comprehend what that something was. Her father was guiding her.
A/N: Yay! Another chapter finished, I liked that, sorry about how long it took to post I had a huge writers block and than it all came to me and I wrote this in about two hours! I love the thing with Carmen and Gabriella my mom and I used to do it all the time and than well…..anyway I hoped you liked it! Update will hopefully come sooner!