Hawkeye
My best friend. My partner in crime. I have a friendly affection for him I don't think I will ever feel for anyone again. Hawk helped me through the tough times, the times I just wanted to curl up and let everything go. I knew he felt the same for me, although I think it did. It hurt so much when Hawkeye ended up in the mental hospital. I should have done something; I should've noticed something was wrong. After all the times that he had helped me, why couldn't I see it? I sometimes think that I must've known but I didn't want to see my friend falling apart in front of me. Hawkeye was the rock of the unit. As long as he was there everyone felt safe. Everyone had hope. Once Hawkeye had gone, things were different. The conversation was mainly business. There was less laughter. I felt like I should've carried on my so called 'wicked ways' just for the sake of the unit, but I couldn't. It just didn't feel right.
We also had some great times. We had a laugh. It was just what we needed to be able to get through the long and tiresome O.R. sessions. I even managed to play one or two jokes on the unsuspecting Hawkeye. The times when I managed to turn the whole gang against him and make him think that I had played a practical joke on them all when really the joke was on him. I'm sure the image of Hawk singing 'You're the tops' is certainly one I will never forget.
Over all of these times we had together I will always regret the time when I punched him in the face. I actually punched my best friend and all he wanted to do was help. I was drunk at the time and I was really missing Peg and Erin. Hawkeye always insisted that he understood. I knew he meant it but I still didn't feel right and I will always feel the guilt of this.
The day the war finished I just didn't know how to react, I was overjoyed. We were all going home. We had made it, but then I looked at Hawkeye. I couldn't bear to say goodbye. Of course I wanted to go home but I just couldn't think of life without him. He was my best friend and I couldn't think that the only time we could speak to each other would be the occasional medical convention. I knew that after this experience that this wasn't really our style. I couldn't bring myself to say the word but I knew it had to be said. I realised that this really could be the one and only chance to say goodbye. So I left him a note where I knew he would see it once I was out of the way.
Goodbye Hawkeye.
With a smile on his face and tears in his eyes, an old and frail BJ placed the book back in the draw and walked away. The memories had stirred up a lot of emotions in him. He was one of only a few veterans of the 4077th left.