Madam and Missy — A Pride and Prejudice Variation
This is dedicated to all the writers both here and on KU who've released their stories for free! As I enjoy reading them so much, I thought that I'd have a go, and here it is.
[Note that I'm a Brit, so have written with British spelling, punctuation and terminology 😏]
In which Lydia is brash and Elizabeth laughs a little in the comfort of her sisters
Netherfield
Mr. Bennet
Lydia had immediately understood Miss de Bourgh's presence, so had decided to return to Hertfordshire. They dropped their latest stray at Longbourn, instructing Jane and Kitty to care for her, then, still in Darcy's carriage, they arrived at Netherfield in the early afternoon.
"Pappa, will Lizzy want to see us? Will she be well enough to see us?"
"I know not; with luck, we shall see Lady Anne and must hope that she will give us answers."
They alighted as Netherfield's door opened to reveal Mrs. Nicholls. The skies opened as they hurried inside.
"Good afternoon, Mr. Bennet, Miss Lydia."
"Good afternoon, Mrs. Nicholls. We have come to call upon Lady Anne."
"Her ladyship told me to expect you. Would you follow me to her sitting room?" She led them up to the first floor of the guest wing. Lady Anne was waiting in the corridor outside her chambers. They exchanged greetings and Mr. Bennet reintroduced Lydia.
Grasping her hands, Lady Anne said, "I commend you, Miss Lydia, as your actions prevented further injury to your sister. I am afraid that she is badly hurt. It is not just the bruises and scratches, which will heal in time; she is greatly shocked and distressed."
Grim-faced, Mr. Bennet nodded, while Lydia, wide-eyed, shook her head. My poor Lizzy.
"Miss Mary has been here every day and she and I have been caring for her," Lady Anne continued. "We have been unable to persuade her to eat, so I am hoping that your presence — together with some gentle normality — might encourage her. Please come in." She opened the door and led them in. They found Elizabeth sitting on a sofa, bundled in an eiderdown, being held by Mary.
Lydia ran to her, knelt and pulled her into a fierce embrace. "Lord, Lizzy, I am so pleased to see you!" Withdrawing slightly, she took Elizabeth's face in her hands and cried, "Would that I had killed him!" She kissed Elizabeth's face and hugged her again.
Hmph, normality, but hardly gentle!
Mr. Bennet had followed Lydia to crouch beside them. He enclosed both of them in his arms, extending his reach to include Mary, and kissed them all. "My dear child."
Lady Anne
Lady Anne saw her son observing from the partially open door into his bedchamber. His face echoed her own surprise as they watched Elizabeth sit up and return Lydia's embrace, saying, almost too quietly to hear, "Liddy, the only thing that I wish to remember is the sight of you with the candlestick." Her tears started again.
Lydia replied with her usual brashness, "I wish that Pappa had permitted me to hit him again. And again!"
"Me too," replied Elizabeth with an uncertain smile. "Me too."
Oh, Miss Lydia, well done!
Lady Anne signalled to her son that he should order some tea. Meanwhile, Lydia told Mary to move along the sofa, unceremoniously pushed Elizabeth next to Mary and squeezed into the resulting space. As her older sister winced, Lydia cried, "Sorry Lizzy, I did not know that you were bruised there." She rearranged the eiderdown to cover three pairs of knees, and said, "There, we shall all be snug, together. Mrs. Hill will not be pleased, though, as the candlestick was dented on his head."
"I can imagine that she will blame it on me," Elizabeth said, with a little of her customary humour.
"I am tempted to allow you to take the blame, but, if you give me your blue ribbons, I shall tell her that it was me."
Lady Anne was delighted to hear Elizabeth's response.
"Only the darker blue, not the paler."
"No. If I am to incur Mrs. Hill's displeasure, I expect both blues."
Elizabeth laughed slightly and Lady Anne's heart sang. I hope that William heard that wonderful sound.
Miss Bingley
Miss Bingley was furious. Something is going on here.
She had seen Darcy's carriage arriving and then, of all the unwelcome guests, some Bonnets had alighted from it. She had followed them to Lady Anne's rooms, but had not heard their conversation as Mrs. Nicholls had stopped to ask her a question about that evening's dinner.
Finally free of the housekeeper, she walked along the corridor, only to see Darcy's servants loitering. "Do you not have work to do, Stanley?" she demanded.
"We are awaiting instructions from Mr. Darcy, miss."
"I have instructions for you," she sniffed. "Get about your duties; I shall attend Mr. Darcy."
"Mr. Darcy told us to wait here, miss," said the maid.
"I shall have you sacked for this impertinence!" She approached them with fury. How dare these servants speak to me thus! She raised her hand to slap the woman but swiftly changed the movement into adjusting her hairpins when she saw Darcy emerging from the next door.
"Mrs. Stevens— " he began.
Miss Bingley pushed the servants aside and cried, "You must dismiss these impertinent servants! They were loitering here, idle. They have no place in your household." Darcy looks cross; ha, pack your bags and go!
"Mrs. Stevens, my mother has asked for tea and cakes."
"At once, sir."
Hmph, that one is polite when Darcy is here. Sly. "You may go, Stanley. I have matters to discuss with Mr. Darcy and her ladyship." Be gone, you awful—
But Darcy was speaking. "I have instructed my man to wait here. Would you have him disobey me?"
"Certainly not, Dar— Mr. Darcy." She smiled intimately up at him. "But I am here now to see to your comfort, and your mother's. And her guests' comfort, of course," she added with a sniff.
"That is kind of you, Miss Bingley."
She smiled with pleasure, "Anything for you–r comfort, Mr. Darcy."
"At the moment, all that my mother requires is refreshments for herself and her guests. I shall call for you immediately should she require anything more."
"Perhaps I should join her now to protect her from those grasping Bonnets." She stood closer and looked coquettishly up at him. "Heaven knows how they have managed to inveigle their way into her company. I shall tell Mrs. Nicholson to deny them entry should they come again."
"My mother invited Mr. Bennet."
"To complain about his daughters' behaviour, no doubt," she tittered.
"Indeed."
He looks even more cross with the Bonnets now. "Will you not join me—?"
"I think not, Miss Bingley. I must return to my mother to assist her with her guests." He turned to address his impudent servant. "I order you to remain here and inform me when Mrs. Stevens returns."
Miss Bingley noticed Darcy's stern face and the servant's submissive nod with satisfaction. These servants must know their place. As Darcy bowed and started to return to Lady Anne, she called after him, "When your mother's visitors are gone, my sister and I hope to have your company for a stroll around the garden."
"I did not think that you cared for the rain, Miss Bingley."
She stormed — rather inelegantly — back down the stairs to the parlour to find her sister and brothers playing cards. "You will not believe it, Louisa! That Mr. Bonnet has called upon her ladyship!"
Mr. Hurst laughed. "Why would he not?"
"Why does he, is the better question!" exclaimed Miss Bingley.
"Mmm," answered Mr. Hurst. "Why would a widower pay a call on a wealthy, attractive widow? I cannot imagine."
"You are not suggesting that a lady of her consequence, the daughter of an earl, would allow an impoverished country bumpkin to call upon her. No!" Miss Bingley put her hands to her throat in horrified disbelief.
"He is a gentleman. She is the widow of a gentleman. Thus, they are equal in status," said Mrs. Hurst.
"I should have thought that you would approve, Caro," added Mr. Hurst, smirking slightly. "If Lady Anne were to marry Mr. Bennet, Darcy and the Bennet girls would become brother and sisters."
"Why would that meet with my approv—? Ah, I see what you mean, Hurst. Darcy and Miss Eliza Strumpet would be siblings and she would not be able to force him into marriage! I must do all that I can to promote this union."
"Do beware that, if you were to catch Darcy, his new sisters would also be yours," Mrs. Hurst pointed out.
"But I would be the Mistress of Pemberley, and we would not need to see them above once a year. We would stop at Longboat for refreshments as we travel from London to Pemberley, and need not stay longer than fifteen minutes. Mmm, they would not expect us to condescend to pay them any more attention than that."
Mollified, Miss Bingley swept back to her chambers.
Lady Anne
Stevens knocked and opened the door to allow Mrs. Stevens to bring in a tray. Lady Anne invited the two gentlemen to take seats; the younger allowed the other to sit closer to the Bennet ladies. Lady Anne thanked Mrs. Stevens and offered her guests cups of tea. Elizabeth was starting to demur when Lydia spoke again.
"Lizzy, you must have a cup of tea and, look, there are lemon cakes!"
"They are your particular favourites, not mine."
Ah, William heard that!
"I shall pass you some of this, er, horrid fruit cake, instead. Urgh, I do not know how you can like that so much." Lydia feigned a shudder.
Lady Anne saw Darcy's astonishment as Lydia pushed a cup of tea into Elizabeth's hand, and balanced a small slice of fruit cake on the edge of the saucer.
"You must have something! Lizzy, if you do not at least drink that cup, I cannot have a second." She took a large bite of cake, and spoke with her mouth full, "And I shall not be allowed another lemon cake."
Elizabeth and Mary looked to the heavens. Darcy grinned.
Is Miss Lydia deliberately being rude? I do not care as Lizzy has taken a nibble of cake.
Lady Anne and Mr. Bennet exchanged relieved glances. Seeing how Lydia's forthright manner had broken through Elizabeth's defensive shell, she said quietly to the two men, "I think that you should tell all."
Mr. Bennet nodded and took a deep breath.
"When you have swallowed another mouthful of that horrid fruit cake and are ready for a second cup of tea — after all, we must not allow Lydia to go hungry — we shall tell you of our mission."
"Quite so, as these are delicious," Lydia agreed, through another mouthful of cake.
They talked light-heartedly of the relative merits of their favourite cakes until Elizabeth had finished her cup.
"Lydia and I have been on a visit to London and Kent. We had something to return to his bossy and belligerent patroness, her ladyship, the Lady Catherine de Bourgh." Lady Anne watched with some amusement as his youngest daughters chanted along with him.
He looked at Lady Anne and said, "I suppose that I should apologise for using that epithet for your sister, my lady."
"No, no," she laughed, "'Bossy and belligerent' is apt, very apt!" Turning to the women snuggled closely together on the sofa, she asked, "Why do you all say that together?"
"Oh," cried Lydia, "the monster — that is our new name for Mr. Collins — said it all of the time; 'my something and something else patroness, her ladyship, the Lady Catherine de Bourgh'."
Lady Anne and Darcy chuckled as the remaining Bennets chanted along.
"Young Darcy loaned us his carriage; thank you for that, son. We stopped at Gracechurch Street where I left Lydia with your aunt and uncle. At Rosings, the coachmen dumped the monster at her ladyship's feet as she harangued us from the front door."
Two pairs of Darcy eyebrows rose in recognition of this behaviour.
"She would not believe me, of course, even when I handed her the buttons that he had ripped off."
Elizabeth shook and looked anxious again.
"Then her daughter — Anne, is it? — came out and said that she knew of the parson's behaviour and agreed with me that he is a monster."
Mary and Lydia held Elizabeth safe between them.
Addressing Elizabeth, Mr. Bennet said, "Despite her mother's shrill protestations, Miss de Bourgh was generous enough to wish you well, Lizzy. She said that she would pray for you."
Elizabeth murmured that she would do likewise.
Mr. Bennet cleared his throat and continued, "Miss de Bourgh passed me a note when we met."
Two pairs of Darcy eyebrows rose again.
"Mmm," interjected Lydia, finishing her second piece of lemon cake. "She ran away with Pappa and me. We have her secreted at Longbourn."
Lady Anne's eyes widened. 'Ran away'?
"Hmm, that is the shortened version of the tale; I thank you, child." Mr. Bennet sighed.
"There is no more to say, Pappa. We are accustomed to rescuing and housing Fitzwilliam strays — we have introduced her to the babies, and Jane and Kitty are busy finding dresses and other things for her to wear. You know, Lizzy, Mary, she looks so much like Gina that we have called her 'Hannah Prout'!
"Oh good, you have finished that cup." Lydia broke in to their laughter. "Now I can have another lemon cake. Oh, and here is some more horrid fruit cake for you."
Elizabeth joined the others in their laughter. "Just for you, Liddy."
Mr. Bennet
Mr. Bennet had stood and suggested that it was time that he, Mary and Lydia left, when Lady Anne said, "Mr. Bennet, I should like to invite Lizzy and Mary to join me in London — perhaps for the winter." Turning quickly to Lydia, she added, "I should like to invite you too, Miss Lydia, but I think that you would prefer to come when you are older and so permitted to socialise with us. Also, I expect that we shall be very quiet while your sister recovers."
Lydia bobbed up and down with excitement, replying, "Thank you very much, Lady Anne. I should like that immensely."
Mr. Bennet patted her hand, and was not too surprised when Lady Anne wrapped the remaining lemon cakes in a napkin and passed them to his youngest daughter.
"Thank you, my dear." Lady Anne kissed Lydia's cheek.
"When shall we three, er, four, five, six meet again?" asked Mr. Bennet "Is tomorrow too soon, Lizzy?"
"Um, I should like to see you again, and I should like to see Jane but I do not think that she should see me thus. She would be too upset."
"You are correct, but I think that the colonel and Mr. Bingley are distracting her."
"Has the colonel asked yet, Pappa?" To his delight, Elizabeth's face held some expectation.
"Not yet, child, not yet. But I hope that he will return to beard this lion in his den very soon!"
"You will let me know as soon as he does?"
"I shall send an express with Lydia!"
"La," cried Lydia, "he had better propose before you leave for I shall not run all of the way to London!" They laughed and she added, "I shall have stern words with him."
"Now we must take our leave of you."
Mary and Lydia hugged their sister and curtseyed to the Darcys.
Darcy offered to escort them to the door. Mr. Bennet declined saying that there was no need for Darcy to run Miss Bingley's gauntlet. He kissed Elizabeth, bowed to Lady Anne and shook Darcy's hand.
"Now, shall we return to see how your newest sister is settling in?"
As they set off on the short journey to Longbourn, Lydia said, "While we enjoyed Miss Hannah's company on our journey this morning, I had not the opportunity to speak to you, Pappa. I have a new commission for you."
"Really? What would you like me to do?" he asked, leaning forward in his amusement.
"You must marry!"
"What?!"
"The monster must not be allowed to inherit, so you must provide Longbourn with a male heir. You cannot do so without a wife!"
Shocked into silence, Mr. Bennet leaned back folding his arms, while Mary started to agree with her sister.
"I had thought of Lady Anne, but it is clear that she still mourns her husband. Miss de Bourgh might do. But I think that Charlotte would suit you best."
"Excellent idea, Liddy," cried Mary.
"'Charlotte'? Miss Lucas?" he asked, astonished.
"Yes, Charlotte. If you have the banns called on this Sunday, you can be wed before Christmas."
"'Christmas'?"
"Think, Pappa. If the colonel's plans succeed, then Lizzy and Mary will leave us taking Melissa and Phoebe and Beatrice, and Sarah and Martha. We might also lose Jane soon."
"Charlotte?" Mr. Bennet repeated.
"Yes. You can call on her and Sir William tomorrow morning."
The carriage arrived at Longbourn. The passengers alighted to see a visitor approaching on foot — it was the subject of their conversation.
"Ask her now, Pappa!"
Mr. Bennet did not propose that day, but, having thought about it carefully for much of the night, did so on the next. Charlotte accepted!
Please don't copy!