Author's Notes: Hurrah, I finally updated! Sorry for the long wait… had to finish the last few chapters of Changed Overnight. Here's the next chapter of TDoAT. I totally appreciated your reviews, so this one's a page longer (I know that's not much, but on second thought, hey – that's about 300 more words of Akane's deranged whines about her life), as what the statistics of Word says when the page size is letter and the font is Verdana, size 8. ;)

I reposted this because I decided that replying to my reader's reviews would do this fic a little better. The replies are at the bottom of this chapter. (",)

Disclaimer: Not mine, not yours, but hers.

The Diary of Akane Tendo

Chapter Two: Apologies Come and Go

More Tuesday, 15 before 10

It looks like I'll be sleeping on a bed of roses tonight.

When Ranma came in and closed the door behind him, my eyes didn't pay attention to his figure. I was flipping the pencil with my fingers and I had this lackadaisical air around me. I was looking down on my diary, but I did sense his uneasiness. He sat on the chair near my desk and didn't know where to start.

"A-Akane," he began, stuttering.

"Hm?" I raised my eyebrows and glanced at him.

Hah, I know how to raise my eyebrows in a I'm-a-beauty-queen-so-who-are-you way! I mean, I get to raise my eyebrows everyday, because my life is just fraught with I've-gotta-raise-my-eyebrows incidents especially when Ranma is around, but I don't get to raise them in the I'm-a-beauty-queen-so-who-are-you manner on a daily basis. It makes me feel great for some reason.

"I'm sorry about this afternoon. For…" He took a deep breath. "For not getting to know people before labeling them names." His fingers were fidgeting as he talked and he was looking straight into my eyes, not with his usual confidence and challenge, but with the look of a little boy who's done something bad, waiting for his mother's reply of forgiveness. I thought it was nice because Ranma isn't the type who'd bow down to anybody and apologize (and of course, everybody in Nerima knows that – from the masters of other dojos, to the street vendors, to the street dogs he's unleashed his untargeted frustration on).

Almost cute, actually.

"It's okay," I said, forgetting what Kasumi said about how repressing feelings was bad, because I technically repressed the words I wanted to shout at Ranma. I've wanted to do that for such a long time, but I didn't, maybe because I figured there still was hope with the seemingly hopeless person sitting in front of me. So I went on: "Avery doesn't know you called him bigheaded and all. You could be good friends, you know." I smiled encouragingly at him.

AND HE BLUSHED. I'm sure about it this time unlike when we were walking on the street, because he was just there in front of me. That, and the fact that I have perfect 20-20 vision. And it's not like Ranma blushes in front of me everyday, considering the fact that he regards me as a kawaiikune tomboy, so that's enough reason that I'm taking this down, thank you very much.

He went, "No, I meant… I'm sorry for calling you names." He was about to open his mouth again, but he hesitated and looked down on the floor. I smiled again. There weren't many times he's apologized to me for all those things he'd done. But I know, like all those few times he'd said sorry, that he's going to do the things he'd apologized for again anyway.

Oh, life. He's like a drug addict, really, who's been promising that he's on the way to rehabilitation, but in reality he doesn't even know how to withdraw from the habit. Poor… me… because I am actually the recipient of this cruelty.

"Ranma," I began, "I don't know why you're even apologizing. You're going to call me names again until… I dunno, until the end of time." Yep, that's the thing. No beating around the bush. And let me tell you, he was surprised to see me smiling despite what I said. "I know that baka and kawaiikune and all those names and… well, insults are permanently sited in your daily vocabulary. No matter how you try–"

And that was the moment he made himself clear.

"Look, this time I mean it." His voice was a bit shaky at first, but eventually it became clear and stable. "I am truly sorry. Because I want you to know that Kami-sama has never burdened you with unbearable things. You should be confident with yourself because you're one of the best girls around. You're smart, strong, and… y-you're… cute."

I am not even kidding. And he went on:

"And everybody likes you. Your dad and sisters like you, my dad likes you, our schoolmates like you – heck, all of the boys, very much – and, well… I like you. So don't you say that your love for everyone's wasted because you make our lives complete. I… I mean, all of us love you. It's my time to ask you not to waste it, including your life." He forced a smile on his lips that I thought was going to look uptight, but it actually came out heartfelt.

Never would I have thought that Ranma Saotome was capable of delivering such profound words.

After a moment of being stunned by what he said (with that touched, puppy dog look on my face that I'm sure looked stupid, as always, when people did nice things like this to me), I realized something. "You didn't happen to be hanging around my window last night, did you?"

And his stuttering came back. "N-no! In the middle of the night? Baka! Why would I even–" He stopped, the look on his face telling me that he was using all his willpower to prevent him from putting a hand over his mouth because that would make him look guiltier. But really, he said the word again. See?

"It's okay." I got up from my bed and headed towards the door to open it for him. "Look, it's getting really late and we still have school tomorrow. I'm sure you want to go to sleep now." I wasn't really looking at him – I was facing the door – so maybe he thought I was disappointed and hurt (when in fact I was already touched by his apology. REALLY).

Ranma stood up and was about to get out when he stopped beside me. "Don't end your life, Akane," he said as firmly as he possibly could. When I looked at him his face was scrunched up into a frown, showing much determination to force a bunch of words out of him like he was having a hard time opening his mouth. Or, you know, maybe it was just constipation.

"The world could really use nice kawaii people like you," he finished forcedly. And with that, he left – more likely ran – downstairs.

Ranma Saotome said I was cute! The world is coming to an end! BUT WHO CARES?

To think that he said "Don't end your life, Akane" basically meant that he took my death threat seriously last night, given the fact that he was actually the one listening outside my window. He was! And he took it seriously! I admit I was half – or three quarters – serious about the whole suicide thing when I told Kasumi about it, but now I don't really know if those words really came out of my mouth. I don't want to end my life now, especially because the reason I wanted to commit suicide just gave me a reason not to do so.

Know what, I'm getting the hang of carrying this furry pink notebook everywhere. I think I've done more than enough diary writing – I've already filled a couple of pages in one day! I think I feel an obsession coming…

Wednesday, December 1, Homeroom

When Ranma and I were walking to school, everything was weird. Most of the time in the past, we just kept quiet. And we were this morning, of course, because a night of apology can never possibly make too drastic a change, like he'd carry me in his arms and French kiss me all the way (which, I tell you, I'm not really longing for, but you know… who knows? Bah), but the silence between us was tense. I don't know how to put it into more explicit words. We kept glancing at each other, and then we hastily looked away when our eyes met. I was blushing for sure. My usual tough disposition left me. I was all shy. And I hated that, because for one thing, I get all shy like, twice or thrice in a year.

Kuno met us near the entrance and went, "Tendo Akane, the sun doth shine brighter upon your advent! My love, I will save thee from that vile sorcerer! Step aside – this battle going to be vicious," as was his dialogue every single time he met me during the present school year of my high school life. He laid his hand on my shoulder, and (I don't know why I didn't punch him in the face or did something equally painful to him) I giggled. I actually GIGGLED because of Tatewaki Kuno. And I was all, "Ohayou, Kuno-sempai," and continued walking towards my class. Imagine the looks of everybody when I said that!

I mean, it wasn't everyday that Akane Tendo was in the mood to greet Tatewaki Kuno. It never did happen, in fact. So yeah, the Hentai Horde began bombarding Kuno with questions the moment I entered the building. They were asking him what his secret was, or whatever happened between the two of us last night… things like that. And I didn't even want to hear what that deranged kendoist answered. What I did to my reputation was just heinous, stabbing Kuno with his bokken couldn't erase all the rumors and my shame.

Disbelief was smothered on Ranma's face, even on Kuno's. I swear, I do not know what Ranma's telling me I was cute did to me. Am too shocked because of what I did. Later.

Wednesday night, my room

During lunch, I ate with Avery. He's cool. No, more than that:

HE'S A PRINCE.

Okay, not exactly the ruler of a nation, but the owner of vast lands and several mansions, buildings, and businesses. And that's like, as princely as one could ever get.

He told me about his life: He was twelve when his family moved here from Britain, and he used to be home-schooled. But he told his parents that he wanted to be like his older brother who was in a private high school that time, so he could mingle with other kids. He experienced his first high school years in some school in Tokyo, and because he was smart enough, he became an exchange student here in Nerima. Not really a smart choice, if you ask me, because I'd rather go to school in Tokyo than in this crazed city, but he said he was beginning to like the adventure that this city brings him everyday.

And I went, "Cool," when his face saddened, so I asked him what was wrong.

That's when I found out about his princely treasures. He explained about the death of his parents in a plane crash, and one day this man just came and informed him that all his parents' properties are his and his brother's already. His share consists of a few hundred acres of land in Mexico, Britain and Korea, chains of restaurants, hotels and all that, mines, companies all over the world, and many more.

I got to know Avery more and we became friends. I like him because he's nice and open, he doesn't call me names, and most of all, he's humble even though he practically has his own El Dorado (so I like him not just, as some people may have been thinking, because he's rich). Because, you know, if you ask me, guys who are as rich as Avery only think about bling, cars, casinos, golf, and the most expensive prostitutes that they could take home. So when he asked about me, I told him about my family, the dojo, and the freeloaders. Somehow, I forgot telling him about the freeloaders' curse because his life was so normal (in a way that it was curse-free, because when it came to riches, he's WAY over the not normal line) and I didn't want to seem like a freak.

He made me try this white chocolate made by Jacque Torres himself who was a good friend of Avery's, and it was the best. He gave me a box of them after class when his limousine came to pick him up – yes, limousine – and it was not on a daily basis that a limousine came to pick someone up in Furinkan High School, so it definitely raised not just a few heads, roused not just a few people's jealousy, and made not just a few girls' – and gays', for that matter – hearts beat faster (with, I suspect, matching kaching sounds and yen signs in their eyes).

And Ranma was all, "Know what, you're snuggling too much with that guy. You're getting too comfortable with him."

Like I had no right to be comfortable at all.

So I said, "What's wrong with it?"

Baka. Now he's telling me not to make friends with the opposite sex, when he's got a few more fiancés than needed. He doesn't even need me anymore because amazons, gymnasts, and okonomiyaki chefs just suck up to him. And if those three aren't enough, he can just go to the We Love Ranma fans club (am not kidding, there exists such a heinous organization at school, and so does the We Love Akane fans club, which, I tell you, is not flattering at all) and superglue his hands to their panties. I doubt they'd even carp about it.

Ranma and I argued all the way home, like we didn't even have that talk last night. Like he never told me to not end my life because the world could use cute people like me. Like he never told me that whatever problem I had, everybody was there to back me up, and he was always there for me.

Oh, crap.

My desire to die is rekindled.

Thursday, December 2, Math

I was thinking. Why would I let myself be affected by Ranma's insults? After all, girls are superior to boys. And I'm not going to say I love him. Because I completely don't. Right?

From now on, I will:

1.) not accept any of Ranma Saotome's apologies,

2.) not be moved whenever he says I'm cute and all, because it's all just a bluff to stop me from setting my mallet on him,

3.) not shriek in the middle of the night because everyone in the dojo starts to see me as a lunatic now and keep casting furtive looks at me as if I were a time bomb ready to blow up any time even when the smallest bit of dust irritates me,

4.) smile back at people who smile at me, especially exchange students, because they're really nice and they give me sweet white chocolates made by famous chocolate makers such as Jacque Torres, and

5.) write faithfully in this diary everyday, because I've just realized that Kasumi was justifiably right when she said it would do me good.

HOMEWORK

Math: study quadratic equation; real roots

English: past, present, future perfect tenses; 10 examples each

World History: Ferdinand Marcos (Philippines) & Fidel Castro (Cuba) regimes; MEMORIZE DATES!

Japanese: create haiku; teacher will scrutinize # of syllables

Science: periodic table; discovery of chosen elements

Study Period: none

Physical Education: written quiz on cramps: causes, muscle condition, treatment

Thursday, after school, porch across koi pond

Here are some notes with Avery during study period:

Saw you sinking on your chair science period. U ok? -AH

Yes, don't worry, mind just weary. Not actually eager to memorize periodic table of elements. -AT

I'll help you. Memorized it last year in old school. Fine with that? -hopefully new science tutor

Would be great. Thanks. -new science student

Right after he read my reply, he walked to the teacher's desk without hesitation and asked, "Sir, could Akane and I sit closer for the rest of the study period? We're going to study together." Most teachers would be mad if the students' chairs were too close to each other, because they're too (taking a leaf out of my book, I see) paranoid about cheating, so it's kind of like a rule to keep one chair at a distance from another, but Avery didn't know that.

Everybody's eyes were on me because Avery didn't actually whisper to the teacher. The guys had a disbelieving look on their faces and all of the girls were scowling (except Sayuri and Yuka who had both of their thumbs up). When Avery got the teacher's permission – even the teacher was surprised because in study period, everybody was supposed to keep quiet and study alone, until this exchange student came – he smiled at me and moved his desk and chair closer to mine. See, this was the advantage of having new students around – they tend to break the boring norms and not be punished for it.

I glanced at Ranma who looked very irritated about something. I had this great impulse to frown and stick my tongue out at him, but because of the huge amount of space he occupies in my thoughts, thus rendering inoperative some of the nerves controlling my body movements, I ended up mouthing, "Want to study with us?" I was even smiling, like the argument yesterday didn't happen. Yes, I was that nice to him in study period – maybe it was the effect of hanging out with someone like Avery.

Ranma almost jumped out of his chair. And predictably, he ended up muttering, "Kawaiikune!" I heard it because he wasn't seated too far, and the class was silent, so they practically heard it, too.

Was that even an answer?

I didn't do anything wrong this time, I know it! I did not offend him in any way. I was even nice enough to invite him to study with us, which he should have accepted on account of the fact that he is really, REALLY lame in science (if you call the letter grade D lame, which, of course, it is). Now I'm thinking that Ranma was just plain jealous of me "snuggling too much" with Avery, which is the only possible explanation I have in my trouble-fraught brain. But then, haha, on second thought, that is just as humorous as The Three Stooges doing their slapstick routine, because it just couldn't possibly happen in the real world. I mean, okay, Ranma did say that he liked me, but apparently not enough for him to refrain from calling me hurtful names, especially in front of the whole class.

I swear, I do not know what is wrong with me – I have feelings for a guy who says I'm kawaiikune out of his pure instinct. And I think he's an idiot, but I still kind of love him. Honestly, kind of. Why the heck has Kami-sama burdened me with this? Humor me, Kami, what have I done in my life to deserve such an inexorable situation? I've been a good daughter to my parents and a good sister to Kasumi and Nabiki – undeniably. Sure, there were a few rebellions now and then, but I'm certain it's all part of a normal family. Tell me, what have I done?

Yes, I've been frantically asking Kami that question in my head, so I was grouchy the whole time Avery was explaining the discovery of O (oxygen) and H (hydrogen). My bad mood has affected my study period with him, which, when I think of it now, has incited my conscience to feel very culpable. He kept trying to erase the frown on my face but I still kept painting it on relentlessly, so he told me we'll have to do it some other time – this coming weekend, he promised – because I wasn't in the mood and he didn't want to force my brain into further understanding the history of the discovery of Ca (calcium), N (nitrogen), and Dy (dysprosium). And besides, everybody in class was looking at us. Studying is actually very hard when all the people in the room are flashing you envious and churlish looks, you know.

When Avery looked around, everybody looked down. And I mean everybody, like EVERYBODY went back to their books simultaneously – like zombies controlled by an evil sorcerer, except that Avery isn't evil, and I absolutely have no qualms he is the most un-sorcerer-like person I know.

I looked at Avery with an amused smile on my face because of the whole zombie theory I was speculating. He looked back at me and furrowed his brows in a puzzled way, but with a smile nonetheless. You know, I could get used to his smiles. They make me feel better, like floating on air, or living Paris Hilton's live, even, but apparently not enough to make me feel BEST, because of the idiot who fell on a cursed pond an stole my heart just to kill it for fun. Ranma has done that much damage to my personality.

"I don't get it," he mumbled. And I was confused because I thought he memorized the periodic table already, and I told him that. He went, "No, I meant the guy in red. Kawaiikune? You? Seriously."

I raised an eyebrow. Did he mean that I was seriously unattractive? But I was so dense in thinking that a guy like Avery would think like that, because he said afterwards, "You're cuter than the cutest thing there is."

And then he flashed that charming smile of his again.

I looked at him like he was Superman in the flesh. I didn't know what was happening to my face, but it made him chuckle.

"See? Look how cute you are when you're smiling like that."

Yeah, so I was smiling (probably in that stupid puppy dog manner again, I strongly suspect, but who cares? I don't, for one. Because if I was given that smile every single day of my life, I could just forget all my troubles and assume a new identity for myself, like a princess who always has her every whim come true. How great can that be? I can go like, "I order Ranma Saotome to kiss my feet and never call me names anymore," and he'd obey! Okay, enough dreaming).

All I could say is: Kami-sama, thank you for Avery Hanabishi, my new science tutor. The last thing I need is someone trampling on my self-confidence. Avery doesn't happen to be the type who tells people they're unattractive idiots.

You know, if only Ranma was supportive of me like that (and Avery's only been my friend for three days! Ranma's been my fiancé for almost a year), I'd absolutely give him a hug, maybe even a kiss on the cheek, and forgive him for all the times–

Thursday, my room, where I wish I have the privacy that I need

SAOTOME RANMA, I SWEAR IN THE NAME OF HELL THAT I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!

There I was, minding my own business with my diary, when you come crawling behind me like some Mufasa Lion King ready to pounce on his victim. Then you actually read my deepest thoughts that I wouldn't even reveal to P-chan, without thinking that YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO READ OTHER PEOPLE'S DIARIES unless the owner is dead and was quite famous in his time, and you're some kind of archaeologist who dug the diary up from under tons of volcanic dust!

I'm crying right now because Ranma had just read all about what happened today and how I feel about it, and him. I only noticed that he was looking over my shoulder while I was writing because I felt his warm breath upon my neck, and heard this choking sound next to my ear a few seconds later. I stopped writing, and I couldn't scream because I was too shocked. In my mind I was all, "Ohmigod, he knows, he knows…" 1000 miles a second. I slowly turned and faced him, and then I went, "RANMA… NO… BAKA!" while readying to take out the mallet from my pocket.

Privacy! Ranma Saotome, if you can't memorize the quadratic equation because you were in the first place lame at Math when you were a child, then you could have at least been good in vocabulary considering the fact that you have a wide terminology in terms of the insulting names you call me! PRIVACY!

I turned my head to the left and saw his face. He was as shocked as I was. Well, I couldn't blame him, because he just found out that I take down every word he says and I have feelings for him, courtesy of his nosing around in other people's businesses! He just found out that if he were supportive of me, I'd give him a hug and a kiss. He just found out EVERYTHING, which, I tell you, I had every intention of NOT telling him!

And that's when I just started to sob and threatened to bawl right then and there. I strongly ordered myself to run upstairs because it was humiliating enough that RANMA HAD JUST READ MY DIARY, and with it all the things I've been thinking about him that included the I-dread-the-time-it-would-be-discovered L-word.

I am so sure Ranma is laughing his heart out downstairs. He is so insensitive. I mean, it's bad enough that he's hacked into my innermost feelings, but he has to make it worse by ridiculing me! I hate him with all my heart, soul, and mind – I swear it in the name of my wet pillow, my wet P-chan, and my wet and sore eyes.

You know, I hate myself more because I'm so stupid, loving that baka and hoping we'll be together. It's never going to happen. I'd rather go pull a sour grape act right now because that way I could throw all the insults I could throw at him, and not limit them, because he is not here to counter them all, or possibly throw even harsher offenses to me, because it's what he's been doing the moment he set foot in this household. If there's one way to put it, it's better that I affront him using this notebook, because at least I'm the only one enraged. All I want is peace. And yes, that statement is the enhanced edition of the original, which went:

All I want is peace with the love of my life.

Which, this time I promise, is not the thing I want right now. Because he's not the love of my life anymore. I am so sure. I don't love Ranma Saotome anymore because I am planning to kill him. And I don't kill the people I love.

Deduce conclusion: the L-word is not associated with the R-name to any further extent.

Thursday, 9 pm

After dinner, I took off like a peregrine falcon (National Geographic: the fastest flying bird) to my room. Ranma knocked on my door again, so I opened it, and didn't even care to take my mallet out. Because I gave him a black eye. Yeah, I slammed the door to his sorry face.

In addition to that, Ryouga showed up. He was very, very mad at Ranma for some reason. They were fighting near the koi pond, so I shouted out of my window, "You show him, Ryouga!" after Ryouga landed a punch in Ranma's stomach (why is it that whenever I cheer for Ryouga, Ranma always gets distracted? I know why: he's sidetracked – torn between fighting Ryouga and wanting to call me names, because it is, after all, in his nature). I wished Ryouga just used Bakusai Tenketsu, so Ranma's guts would just shatter into pieces. Okay, not shatter, but whatever word is suitable for the destruction of his guts. So literally, he'd have NO GUTS to call me names and sneak around like what he did this afternoon.

Ryouga went all weird when he heard me cheering him on; he almost fell into the water before Ranma caught his leg. When he discovered that his head hovered less than an inch above the water, he fainted.

I have no inkling about what's up with those two. They're like… brothers, in a way. Ranma always saves Ryouga from falling – into some body of water, mostly. But they always fight incessantly. And I hear it's always because of the same reason, but nobody wants to tell me.

Yes, world, unite as one and push me out of the circle. You all know everything, anyway, and I am just a powerless girl who has to live her bleak life every single day with a cursed fiancé who has a mouth that can throw me insults like a machine gun, a money-hungry sister, a stubborn father-uncle combo, a perverted old man obsessed with lingerie, the said cursed fiancé's three other fiancées, a pig-headed kendoist, and the Furinkan Hentai Horde (a hundred percent attendance every meeting, three hundred members and still counting).

Need to go. P-chan isn't feeling very well.

Author's Notes: Oooh, Avery's warming up. And Ryouga/P-chan isn't feeling well because he was a millimeter away from revealing his piggy secret in front of Akane when he and Ranma fought by the pond. I hope you liked the second chapter… if you did, do review! (",)

The-Shadow002: Thank you. I also think that this diary thing reveals Akane's feelings and thoughts better because she wrote it personally.

f-zelda: Thanks!

BrownAnime: I know, it's like she's brooding darkness in her heart with the suicide stuff. But don't worry, she'll see the light eventually. And yes, it's a diary, so naturally there are dates and locations and all that. (",)

KarmaDreamz: Maybe, maybe.

Vampire and Li: Glad you think it's great. Don't worry about dropping a review, whether you think it's boring or not. I appreciate your reviews all the same.

Story Weaver1: Yeah, I thought of that, but the world needs humor more than angst right now, don't you think? Anyway, there's more laughter in store in the next chapters.

Jake Marie: You know Ranma. He's a green-eyed monster. (",)

Lain Otowaki: There's more coming up.

Kean: Love that sentence, too. I got the idea from a thing called "Freudian Slips" in psychology, where you accidentally blurt out things from your unconscious. Things that are rather true, and/or describe your deep desires you dare not tell anybody.

Priestess Kohana: You think? Let's put him in it, then… haha… anyway, thank you!