Yeah, okay, this is crack
It's meant to be stupid
Please don't flame without a valid reason!
Have fun!
The REAL Sasuke
Uzumaki Naruto was sitting in a room, scarcely lighted, in his house with a vulpine grin gracing his features. In his hands, he held a tattered scroll, the writings of some jutsu covering it. The jutsu was an extraordinary one, and it was this that caused the grin on Naruto's face.
It allowed one to hear one other's thoughts as if they were speaking the words.
He preformed it.
He felt no different, but he supposed there was no reason he should until he came upon someone else.
But who did he want to try it out on? He could only choose one person…
Whose thoughts were the most difficult to figure out?
Who did he know what WASN'T an open book.
And as he thought these words, that smile on his face grew just a tiny bit wider.
Uchiha Sasuke
XxXxXxX
Uchiha Sasuke was a good ninja because he was difficult to read. His expressions never gave way to his emotions and his true feelings were never revealed to anyone. It's a shame things didn't stay that way. Because what are you to do when, while spying on your gorgeous teammate, you see him perform a jutsu that will allow him to read peoples thoughts. People meaning YOU. And your thoughts about this gorgeous teammate of yours aren't quite decent and very embarrassing?
Let the games begin…
XxXxXxX
Naruto found Sasuke leaning against a wall with a stoic look on his face (SURPRISE! How out of the norm!).
Naruto's heart raced and he fidgeted giddily before performing the last of the seals while whispering Sasuke's name.
Next he casually walked up to Sasuke.
Sasuke was a wreck on the inside, trying to control his thoughts and emotions…terrified of what Naruto would hear.
"Hey Sasuke."
Sasuke nodded.
What Naruto heard, however, was "Oh god that outfit looks good on him…!"
Naruto blinked, taken a back, and Sasuke broke out in a cold sweat. His eyes flicked to Naruto's lips.
"Kami-Sama I just want those lips all over me.."
Naruto stuttered out a "What?!" and Stared at Sasuke in disbelief.
Sasuke stepped up from the wall "I, I can explain, I, um," and what was added to what Naruto heard was "I have a crazy freakish stalker-like fetish about you!! I watch you sleep and dream about being under you as you (this has been deleted to keep the story at a lower rating, use your imagination!!!)"
Naruto Stared at Sasuke as his mind continued to rant
"And I'm wearing a pink thong right now because I wore it to bed thinking of you and forgot to take it off this morning!!!"
"OKAY! I REALLY did NOT need to know that…!!!"
Sasuke's face heated up and stuttered a "I'm S-sorry!"
Sasuke was flushed and embarrassed.
Naruto called off the jutsu because it was having some undesired effects on his…erm…lower parts…
Naruto knew that Sasuke knew that he had just been reading his (sasuke's) mind. How couldn't he have…he was Uchiha Sasuke. What didn't he know? Sasuke stumbled back and made to run away but Naruto caught his arm and pulled him into a harsh kiss.
"A pink thong, huh?"
FIN
…
Oh my god.
That was SO lame…
-Emily!!