Chapter Four

Carly wasn't going down without a fight. Moments earlier, she had thought, that she was mere hours away from leaving town with Jason. She had all she ever dreamed of in the palm of her hand and now it all felt like sand slipping though her fingers.

Last night hadn't been a dream. She wouldn't let him just walk out to go chase after some other woman.

Looking in his blue eyes that sometimes reminded her of fire and other times of ice, she played her trump card. "You said that you weren't leaving the boys and me unprotected anymore. The last time was supposed to be the last time- ever. Right? Or was that a lie?"

Jason flinched.

A minute passed. Carly felt panicked, her heart raced, she wanted to take the words back but she also wanted to see if they would work.

He said slowly, "You're right. I don't want you or the kids in danger because I am not here to keep you safe. If anything happened..." He swallowed and pushed the thought out of his mind. He pulled out his cell phone. "I'll send a team down to look for Sam without me. Her boat was found abandoned so we'll need to hire a dive team in case she went...overboard." His face whitened at the thought.

He couldn't be everywhere at once, Jason reasoned, and years ago he had promised, in the middle of a rain storm, to be with Carly whenever she needed him to be. If she couldn't deal with him going then he would have to stay. Guilt stabbed at him but he did his best to ignore it.

Jason started to dial his cell.

Every thunder cloud that came

was one more I might not get through


On the darkest day there's always light

and now I see it too

But I never liked the rain until I walked through it with you

Clint Black Lyrics

Carly relaxed slightly. She had won, hadn't she? Jason would chose her over Sam. But she didn't feel like she won anything at all. She felt like she was hurting Jason. That feeling made her stomach clench.

Jason said, into the phone. "Frankie, I need you to get Stan, Joe and Leon and meet me at the warehouse. Pack a bag. See you in 20."

He looked at Carly and said "I have to brief the guys but I'll be back in a few hours. We can have dinner here with the boys if you want, before you open for the night. Ok?"

She nodded.

He started to leave. She said, "Wait." The word came out softly, like she didn't want to say it but had no choice.

He said, "It's alright. I understand why you don't want me to go, Carly. It's time we both put each other first."

She said, "We have always done that, in our own way, Jase. But I know you, you're going to feel guilty if you don't go, aren't you? You are. That's you." She loved him for that but, right now, she also hated that trait in him. "Okay, go. Go find Sam."

"Not if it leaves you and the boys in danger. Your safety comes first." Jason said. Then he gave her a look. " I wouldn't stay just because of your jealous nature-"

"My what?" Carly said, smiling

"You heard me." Jason grinned. Then more serious he said, " You're right about me wanting to be with you and the boys at all times now to keep you safe and so we can all be..." He didn't know the words to use. Happy? A family? Complete? Secure? He decided on "together."

Carly started to feel like she could breath again. He still wanted the things he offered her last night. She just had to be strong enough to wait for it. "We'll be fine. I'll take Michael and Morgan and go stay at," she clenched her teeth and forced out "Sonny's. Lord knows, that place is damn near a fortress."

"I don't know if that is such a good idea." said Jason, thinking about how Sonny and Carly can drive each other nuts and then find themselves in bed together without ever planning on doing either of those things. But that was the past...

"I can handle it," said Carly. "But you have to go now before I change my mind. Because this is not what I want, not at all."

Like the rain

I have fallen for you

and I know just why you

Like the rain

always calling for you

I'm falling for you now


Just like the rain

Clint Black Lyrics

Jason nodded slowly. He said, "Never ditch the guards. Not even for a moment. And don't let Michael either. He thinks he can take on anyone-"

"I know." Carly said, with a slight smile.

"He gets that from you." Jason said

"I know."

Jason stared at her for a moment. Then he turned to leave. When his hand was on the door he stalled, just holding the handle.

"Go," Carly whispered, hating the fact that she had to do this. She had the horrible feeling that if he left today their vacation would never happen. But if he stayed he might never forgive her or himself because he could have saved Sam. If it's not already too late.

He spun around and hurried across the room toward her. Jason took her face in both his hands and kissed her, long and hard on the mouth. When he pulled his lips away, their foreheads still touching, he breathed out "Just hold on a little longer, okay?"

She smiled, and the tears came now, "You should know by now, I don't give up on the things I want easily." She kissed him, a soft quick caress and said, " Don't get lost out there and forget your way home."

"Never gonna happen." Jason said. After one more kiss, he fled the room while he still had the will left to leave.

When the cloud is rolling over

thunder

striking me


It's as bright as lightning and I

wonder

why I couldn't see?


That it's always good and when the flood is gone

we still remain


Guess I've known all along

I just belong here with you

falling

Like the rain ...

Forever we'll be falling

Like the rain

Clint Black Lyrics