Author's Notes: A little more to go, and it's a wrap! It's just that I've been held back by tons of homework and tests and stuff, so I wasn't able to write a lot for the past week. And something quite intrigued me because I received an anonymous email about another author copying my work, Changed Overnight. I checked it out and saw – WOW – a lot of "accidental" similarities: character lines, descriptions, scenes and their orders, italicized words…
But I wasn't disheartened. Instead, I wrote more. So there you go.
Disclaimer: Nope, still not mine. Even with faith, trust, and pixie dust.
The Diary of Akane Tendo
Chapter Eight: Of Chocolates and Emeralds
Thursday, 10 am, the little balcony outside my room
The call turned out to be from Sayuri and Yuka. I just told them what happened last night, and they were practically squealing and screaming into Yuka's speakerphone! Sayuri choked on a walnut when I described the kisses that Ranma and I had last night and arrived at the part where we had Frenched. And although Yuka sounded really worried because she didn't know how to do the Heimlich maneuver and Sayuri was already choking on that big walnut for a long time, I couldn't stop myself from laughing inwardly as the walnut finally got itself out of my friend's throat.
"Are you okay?" I asked over the phone, suppressing a giggle.
Sayuri coughed a few times. "Y-yeah, I'm fine… it's just that everyone at school saw what happened but nobody knew how you both actually felt while you were doing… you know, the kiss. Wasn't it slobbery?"
"Oh, don't mind her," Yuka scoffed. "She's just jealous because she hasn't Frenched anyone yet."
There was a sound of a pillow being thrown, followed by giggles from both of them.
"No, it wasn't slobbery at all," I answered after a few moments when they were back into sane mode. "It was…"
"It was…?" They both echoed, waiting for me to bridge the gap.
"It was wet. Wet… and sweet. And wonderful."
"But isn't wet just like… slobbery?" Sayuri asked. I tsk-tsked and said no.
"Wet?" Yuka repeated. "Wonderful… but wet?"
"No, not gross-wet," I clarified. "See, when you French, you actually put your tongue into your partner's mouth." At this point, Sayuri and Yuka gasped excitedly, as if they didn't know what Frenching was, hah. I think they were just so thrilled at the way I told the whole thing in my perspective. "Yes, my ladies, it was sweetly wet. And hunger-inducing. It's like Pepsi, actually, because you've got to ask for more."
I laughed, forgiving my shallow sense of humor, and continued. "Then when we arrived home, we kissed some more in secret behind the thick tree in the lawn – you remember that, Yuka, right? You climbed it a year ago because the wind blew your hanky and it got tangled up in the branches, and then you fell flat on your butt." I laughed again as Yuka reprimanded me jokingly.
"Speaking of butts," Sayuri butted in, "do you know what happened to Kuno-sempai when he tried to hold your sister's butt?"
I instantly remembered Kuno's hands crawling down Nabiki's back, because it was the thing I last saw before Ranma arrived at the dance last night. "Knowing Nabiki, she must have death-gripped Kuno's hand before it grabbed her butt and slapped his face. After that, she should have gone back to dancing with him." It was the most Nabiki-ish thing my sister would have done.
"Actually, Akane, Hiroshi said that Kuno's hand got to squeeze your sister's butt. And the death grip did happen, but not to any part of Kuno's body, save for his collar. She dragged him all the way into the ladies' room where we came out earlier."
"And then she beat him up there, right, Sayuri?" I asked confidently.
"Uhm," Yuka answered for Sayuri, who kept her mouth far away from the speakerphone as she started laughing loudly. "I don't think so, based on the accounts of the witnesses. They're the girls who were in the ladies' room just before Nabiki commanded them to leave. They were curious enough to hang around and listen outside the locked door, and they said they heard sounds of smooching and stuff."
I dropped the receiver in shock. OHMIGOD, MY SISTER FINALLY LET IT HAPPEN! The phone swung from the cord for a minute before I picked it up and my speech wasn't inoperative anymore. "You mean they did it?" I asked incredulously. "Kuno and Nabiki?"
"Nobody actually saw, but the girls heard…"
Then, before I could even stop myself, I squealed, jumped up and down, and finally screamed. Kuno was out of my system forever and my sister finally let it all out! I'm so happy for Kuno and Nabiki; they're a very attuned pair! I mean, I didn't know in what way, because Nabiki's too smart for him, but whatever.
When I regained my sanity, I asked Yuka what else happened.
"Well, the blonde guy who was with Ukyou kept stepping on her toes while they danced, and Ukyou finally lost it and told him to get out, saying that she 'never should have invited a double-faced loser' like him to the dance, and that the reason she invited him was that she didn't want to come without a date or something. The guy left, and Ukyou almost fainted when she turned around and saw you locking lips with Ranma."
Oh well, that was one earnest try from Tsubasa. His dream would never ever come true.
"And then," Sayuri said, having gotten over her fit of laugher, "your friend Ryouga showed up."
So that wasn't a hallucination, I thought happily, thankful that I wasn't going mad. I really did see him! "What happened to Ryouga? I never got to meet him last night."
"When he saw that the all the students of the school were gathered into a great circle on the dance floor, eagerly looking at the same thing, curiosity got the better of him and he took a peek. And… well, he saw you kissing Ranma, and that was the same second when he slipped his tongue into your mouth, I think," Sayuri said, squealing. "The next thing I looked, he was gone. Even Hiroshi and Daisuke didn't notice him go (they were both too busy drooling over what you were doing with Ranma anyway)."
"Oh…" was all I could say. I'm a little worried about that guy – he shows up with a grin on his face one second and then leaves after a few. His abysmal sense of direction never helps him, either… he should just stay in the dojo as often as possible for his own sake. Poor Ryouga.
"Yeah, and that Chinese girl who looked after the noodles… what was her name again? Soap?"
"Shampoo," I corrected.
"Yes, Shampoo," Yuka continued. "She went ballistic and pulled the chopsticks from her hair."
"And ate all the noodles in depression?" I asked in jest.
"No, actually, the… chopsticks had little sharp blades inside of them, and she was about to – what did she say she wanted to do? Oh yeah – she wanted to kill you. And she said it in Chinese, by the way. She blabbed some more, and since Daisuke's Mandarin is very limited, he didn't understand the rest of it besides the kill part."
That was expected. Shampoo telling me she wanted to kill me has happened a lot of times before that I've regarded it as a welcome hug every time we met. "So how come she didn't get to do it?" Surely, nobody in school could ever stop an Amazon like her…
"It was Principal Kuno," Sayuri answered. "The moment Soap removed the chopsticks, her long hair fell behind her, and the next thing she knew, she was playing tag with the principal and his scissors."
"It's Shampoo," I rectified, as all three of us started laughing at the Amazon's fate. So Kuno's dad was still a cutting-hair-off fetishist? I never actually liked that trait in him, but since he stopped Shampoo from killing me last night, maybe I can let it pass.
And the storytelling continued, until I got into the part where Ranma carried me into my room and tucked me to sleep. Sayuri and Yuka gasped and asked if Ranma and I did it, but I said no, and that he'd never do that unless he feels we're both ready for it.
"You can't stop him from thinking and dreaming about it, though," Yuka said. "You know the male gender. And if you don't, you can just get context clues from how he kissed you last night."
"Mwah, mwah, mwah," Sayuri moaned teasingly in the phone.
"Oh, shut up, or I'll make you choke on a walnut again."
So here I am, writing on this diary like what I've been doing since last week when I engaged into this obsession. I feel like if I don't take the events of my life down, time will come when I am old and forgetful, and I may never get the chance to recall the things that have happened in my younger years. Too bad I've only started writing on a diary now, when I've had so many unforgettable experiences when I was a kid, but at least it's not too late. I'm sixteen, anyway, and that's the sweetest year of a person's life, as what Grandpa Happosai once told me last month before he went out into his lingerie escapade and never came back.
Hey, the wind's starting to get stronger and colder. My ears feel sort of stung or something, I'd better head back inside my room; I'll look for Ranma and–
It's Kasumi knocking on my door again, saying I have another phone call. Now who could it be? I'll leave you inside my drawer awhile, sweet little diary… hide yourself, okay?
Thursday, my room
Am on my way to the hospital; Niles the butler just called and told me that Avery's admitted there. What in the world could have happened to him? I am so worried. Later.
Thursday, 3 pm, room 510 of the Nerima City Hospital
Someone once said that every time a door opens, another one in some corner of the globe closes. The same happens when you close the door to your room – somewhere on this planet, a door opens. And when every door on earth is opened at the same time, the world will be full of holes on that day. The guy who said that believed that that day would never happen, because it is impossible that anybody's door would never close at least once in one day. He said that doors are like the lives of the people on this earth, and that every time a newborn baby shrieks in some hospital, a human being somewhere dies of sickness, accident, or age in turn.
That guy was lying. I am so, so, SO sure.
Because Avery's admission room is located near the Nursery, where all the newborn babies were screaming. For the new mommies and daddies, their cries were music to their ears, but to me, they might as well have sounded terribly like fingernails scratching the chalkboard.
Avery is frailly sleeping on the hospital bed in front of me, unaware that the nurse has checked him up twice already.
When I arrived at the hospital, Niles wasn't waiting for me at the entrance unlike what he said over the phone. I was about to ask the nurse at the front counter where Avery Hanabishi's room was, when someone tapped my shoulder. I turned and saw a really tall guy, almost six feet tall and a few years my senior, a diamond earring studded on his left earlobe. He had long brown hair that reached several inches below his shoulders, and he was wearing a buttoned-up black overcoat.
And did I say that he was one of the most beautiful men I have ever met – beautiful being the operative word? No, not that he looked gay or anything, but his skin was so fair, and his nose and lips were perfect. His eyebrows had a distinct shape that emphasized his uncompromising appearance. A tinge of jealousy built up inside of me – it was not fair that a MAN could look that beautiful!
"Akane Tendo, am I correct?"
"Y-yes," I tentatively replied as he led both of us away from the counter where the nurse eyed us watchfully before going back to answering the phone that kept on ringing irritatingly. I stared at the tall guy, trying to place where I've seen him before. I really knew that I haven't, because he is so far the tallest person I have ever seen, but there was something about those emerald eyes that kept tugging at my memory…
"I'm Anthony Hanabishi, the brother of Avery," he said as he held out a hand that I shook shyly. "He is upstairs." His face was unreadable, if not expressionless. Wasn't he even worried about his brother? If so, it certainly didn't show.
"What happened to him?" I asked, having regained my poise as we proceeded into the elevator. "Did he have an accident? Is he hurt badly?"
"There were no accidents," Anthony replied calmly as he pushed the "5" button. I noticed that his accent didn't seem to be of pure Japanese; it even held a more British tone than Avery's.
"Why? Was it intentional?" I asked worriedly, thinking about assassins out to get one of the last heirs of Hanabishi so the criminal mastermind could finally take hold of all the family riches.
The sensation of having left my stomach on the ground floor passed me as the elevator went up. A few seconds before the door rang and opened, he said, "Nobody tried to hurt him, do not worry." We got out and turned right into a hallway, then turned left after a few yards. We passed by a room with a wide glass window, where we saw about twenty babies with name straps around their wrists as they were screaming their lungs out and two very harassed-looking nurses attended them. Anthony stopped at the fifth room. "Here we are," he declared as his hand rested on the doorknob.
I took a deep, nervous breath and waited for Anthony to open the door. It wasn't until a few seconds later did I realize that he never turned the knob. I looked at him, and for the very first time, I saw him smiling mildly at me – a smile that completely affirmed that he was Avery's brother, even though it was just a tiny fraction of Avery's exquisite ones. "Do not be scared of seeing him bloody and dead. He is just having another treatment."
I heaved a sigh of relief, until I realized that treatments weren't good, either. A treatment for what? He never told me he was having treatments, I thought uneasily.
"One more thing," Anthony added one last time as he was about to turn the knob. His face went back to being passive. "I did not tell Avery that I invited you. I just saw your picture inserted on a torn page of his diary, which was hidden inside the drawer of his room. I just thought that it would be a pleasant surprise to uplift his spirits, and Niles helped me contact you. You do not mind, I suppose?"
I shook my head after I blushed inwardly when I found out that Avery kept a picture of me in his diary (I don't even have a picture of Ranma in mine, or anybody's picture at that). "Not at all. If I did, I wouldn't be here, would I?"
Although he turned his head a little away from me, I saw a corner of his mouth turning up against his will even when he fought to keep his face expressionless, as he mumbled something like, "No wonder he kept this girl's picture…" Or something like that. When he faced me again, I raised my eyebrow and returned his hidden smile.
Without knocking, he opened the door, and the first thing I saw was white. Blindingly white sheets, walls, chairs, everything. And then we found Avery, his eyes closed, resting on a hospital bed which was bent at an elevated angle. He shifted a little and turned his head towards the direction of the curtained window across us. A needle was inserted into his wrist, and a pack of clear liquid hanging on a shaft entered his veins, drop by drop.
It seemed that Anthony knew that Avery wasn't really asleep but just closing his tired eyes, because he didn't bother shake his brother up when he said, "Someone sent you flowers, Maggot. The card says it is from…" (he pretends to read an imaginary card with difficulty. I noticed that his tone was so much brighter and affectionate than the tone he'd been using when we were talking earlier) "She is just probably one of your admirers in your new school; perhaps I should just throw these roses away. They are from an… Akane Tendo. Do you know her?"
"Akane?" Avery quickly sat up on his bed and cringed as he hastily held his chest. "No, don't throw them! She–" He stopped when our eyes met. His anxious look instantly softened, but his eyes still held the glisten they contained when he saw me in surprise.
"She is here," Anthony finished for him, point-blank. "Who she is to you, I have no idea, but it appears that she means more to you than the fur coat that Mother gave you. Before you ask anything, I would like to say that her picture was inserted in your journal, and I could not find Mother's coat anywhere in the mansion. Should you open your mouth to complain though, brother, about inviting your friend here, I advise you to think twice about it. I believe you will thank me later." And with that, he closed the door behind me, leaving me and Avery alone together inside room 510.
And I just stood there while Avery looked at me as though I were a hallucination. Finally, after a few moments, Avery blinked and groaned. "Geez, how rude of me… A-Akane, please sit down." His voice was really low and soft as he gestured towards a white couch against the window. I crossed the room and slowly took a seat.
The low hum of the air conditioner prevented the silence from being deafening.
"Don't worry about Ton-ton, he's just putting on a tough act," Avery piped up. "He's really as nice as a bunny, my twenty-year old brother. I'm planning to tell him about the coat anyway."
"Oh… but it was definitely nice of him to lead me all the way here…" My voice faded out. Sometimes, even with the motor mouth that I have, I cannot seem to talk much at the right time when there's much talking needed. A few moments passed before either of us spoke up. "Look, Niles called me to come here, and then I met your brother, and then he told me that you weren't hurt, and then he led me here, and…"
Avery was about to open his mouth when I cut him off and started getting up. "And if I disturbed you in any way, it's okay… I could just leave so you could r–"
"No," he interrupted quickly, looking beleaguered, and then relieved when I sat back down. "I… I want you to stay."
After hesitating, but deciding to do it anyway, I asked Avery, "Why are you here? What happened?"
Avery took a deep, poignant breath and lay back down on his inclined pillow. "Remember when we met at the cemetery, Akane?" he asked softly. I immediately feared that his reference to the place where the dead were buried meant something terrible was about to happen. "I was visiting my grandfather who died of lung cancer."
I was unsure of where it led, but I kept listening.
"And if I'm right, I think I told you last week at lunch that both my parents… they died in a plane crash."
"Yes, you did. I remember." That was the time I found out that he was as rich as a prince.
"Well, they were actually traveling from Britain to the States. My mom accompanied my dad in the trip because she wanted to be there when… when my dad would undergo an operation in the lungs. Something began to grow there, and the diagnosis said that it was cancerous and would do a lot of harm if it wasn't removed. If my parents ever lived through that accident, Father would have been operated, and then he would have undergone chemotherapy." He sighed painfully. "So you see… it sort of runs… i-it's hereditary," he finished.
At the edge of my seat, I put my hands in front of my open mouth. "Oh Kami-sama…" Before I could even stop myself, I started bawling like a little girl and ran to embrace him. He winced, and I quickly withdrew my arms. "W-what's wrong?"
He groaned. "Nothing, it's just the stubborn lesion from yesterday." Before he could close the untied strings in front of his white patient uniform, I already saw on his chest a thick, red wound a few inches long. Several stitches prevented it from opening. My eyes started watering again, and he quickly said, "Don't worry, I'm totally fine. My ankles are as strong as ever and I could still prevent you from facing your daily dose of perverts in the morning." He tried to laugh, but it was immediately followed by a fit of coughs that transformed his calm face into one undergoing so much pain. He clutched his white blanket.
"Should I get the nurse?" I asked, panicking.
He cleared his throat and inhaled. "No, I'm fine, it's just that I was just operated in the lungs. After a few days I'll be able to laugh with you about Kuno and whatnot." He flashed me a gentle smile. The light behind me made his emerald eyes sparkle, and I figured that as long as his eyes still held that glint, he's fine.
"So that's why you were absent from school yesterday? You were operated… and not kidnapped by some mafia gang leader or something?" I asked after sniffing my wet nose and trying to smile.
His smile grew brighter. "Now there you are, Akane… I was wondering where you were hiding," he said lightheartedly.
I sobbed. "Oh, Avery…" Being very careful not to touch his surgical wound, I embraced him again and buried my face in his neck. He smelled like somewhere between isopropyl alcohol and Hugo. I felt both his arms encircling me. "You're so stupid! Why didn't you tell me about your… your condition?"
"I was afraid that you wouldn't have treated me the same way you have since I've known you. You were my first friend in Furinkan, and I liked you very much; I didn't want you to treat me… differently just because you thought I was… I was fragile."
"I never would have," I wept. Deep inside, I wondered if that was really true.
I felt him reaching for something to his right, and then recoiling a bit, perhaps in pain. I quickly got up from embracing him, but I was still leaning on his bed. After trying to blink my tears off a few times, I saw Avery holding up a white handkerchief, his hand approaching my face. The next thing I knew he was wiping my tears away. "I'm not going to die, Akane," he said assuredly, like he knew what was going on in my head, his voice still soft but with a certain sureness to it. "You told me you would feel depressed if you spent the last day of your life drowning in misery. The day I got to know you, I knew I'd never meet that fate."
I gave out a sound that sounded like a cross between a sob and a chuckle. "Besides being my solace, did I ever tell you that you are my magic mirror? It's like whenever I ask you, 'Mirror, Mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest one of all?', you would always say, 'The fairest in the land is you.' You're my box of chocolates. You always make me feel better."
He exhaled, his smile turning into a bright grin. "Speaking of chocolates, Jacque's been too generous and I'm afraid I'll get diabetes before I get out of this hospital if I'm the only one who'd consume all the chocolates he gave me." His eyes settled on a small white refrigerator. "I was hoping you'd help."
"And be diagnosed with diabetes with you? Why not." Jacque Torres made the best chocolates in the world (but maybe next to Willy Wonka and the oompaloompas), and since chocolates have happiness-inducing stuff called amphetamines or endorphins or whatever, then hey. No harm done. I opened the fridge and almost gasped at its contents – a big mineral water bottle. And the rest were chocolates. Boxes of them.
We spent our time eating chocolates while chitchatting about stuff as I took a seat on the edge of his bed. He told me that he was leaving for Britain in a few weeks, and it brought out so much dread in me, besides the fact that the clipboard at the end of his bed said some critical things about the patient in the room. He said I shouldn't worry, and instead of talking about negative things, we should talk about the positive ones. So I told him everything that happened yesterday – from my unwillingness to go to the dance, to Nabiki's pep talk, to the whole wanting-to-puke thing, to Sayuri and Yuka and the germy comfort room stall, to Kuno and my sister's kissing escapade in the rest room. Avery and I laughed about that.
"Your sister sure has a… queer taste," he said amusedly.
"Well, nobody understands how her mind works. She's one complex human being."
He fidgeted a little, and proceeded to one topic I didn't really want to discuss, because it had always kept my hopes up that sometime, someone was bound to ask me to the dance (but really, all is okay now. The chess varsity player and his halitosis did well without me). "I'm sorry I wasn't able to ask you to the dance… it's just that… well, you know," he finished awkwardly. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about my absence yesterday – I'd known when the operation would take place since last week. If things were different, I'd have gone to school yesterday… and I'd have asked you out the moment I found out last week about the Winter Dance."
I don't know if he knew the misery I underwent in hoping that he or Ranma would ask me to the dance, but his eyes communicated an apology to me. It was like he was saying that he never meant to not ask me, and that he experienced a pain different from his cancer when he held himself back in asking me. The many talks we've had – inspirational, philosophical, senseless or what. All those days when we were together. He'd been holding back from saying "Will you go to the dance with me?" because he knew he could not be there, even if he wanted to.
"It's okay. I still enjoyed the dance." More than I ever would have, I thought. I offered him a smile, which he returned.
"About… a-about the thing at the rooftop," he began.
What was the world trying to do? Making the dreaded scenes fall in line and replay one after another?
I inhaled tensely as Avery clutched my hand. "You told me to tell Sakuragi to go for it."
"What?"
"My friend Sakuragi, remember? You told me that in soap operas, everyone lives happily ever after. And so you told me to tell Sakuragi to… go for it." He had this spangle in his eyes that told me he knew that I knew what he really meant.
"Oh, I did, didn't I?" I asked, laughing nervously, fearing that my hand – the one in his – would start sweating even in the air-conditioned room. I kept my eyes on the box of chocolates on the side table. "So what did Sakuragi do?"
"Well…" His eyes darted toward the interesting white curtains all of a sudden. "He went for it," he replied. I noticed his hold tighten a bit. "He… made a move on Sakura. But he didn't have the chance to say he loves her."
"S-so, when does he plan to say it?" I said in an unnaturally high voice, my heart thumping against my chest as I repeated the words I love Ranma Saotome, I love Ranma Saotome in my head.
He tugged on my hand so that I drowned in that sea of green again. "Akane, I love you."
I was stunned for a few seconds, but before I could even regain my composure, he pulled me close. And kissed me. Yet again.
Okay. I have to say, even with the kissing marathon I had with Ranma last night, that kisses on the lips never ceased to amaze me. So far, the only people who have kissed me on the lips aren't the ones I wouldn't want to be kissing with. Avery's lips were still soft and nice and sweet, but unlike what happened on the rooftop, we didn't go into Frenching. His lips stayed still against mine.
After five – ten, fifteen, I lost count – seconds, he released my hand and I pulled my lips away from his. "I love Ranma," I whispered, standing beside his bed.
I didn't even wait until I found out what was happening – those three words tumbled out of my mouth like it was the most natural thing to occur. And I didn't say "I love someone else," because I think every fiber of my being has registered Ranma Saotome as someone important, and never a someone else.
The moment I said the truth to Avery, I expected myself to clasp a hand to my mouth and be all emotional about it as Avery poured out all his emotions and love for me.
Nope, that didn't happen.
"It's got to be the fireworks," he muttered almost inaudibly, smiling mildly. He was gazing at his slightly trembling palms on his lap. That totally, totally surprised me… I mean, I've dumped guys before, and Avery's reaction had nothing in common with theirs! Avery's mysteries can never be unlocked – even if one secret had just been opened, there are a hundred more doors that are in this long twisted maze.
"Fireworks?" I echoed, my sense of reason and memory slipping for a moment.
"There were none of them." He looked at me. His eyes were so trusting and clear and innocent and beautifully verdant. Somehow, even with the smile painted on his lips that told me he understood and accepted why it didn't quite happen the way he wanted to, I saw behind the bright green a little tinge of hurt and pain – the kind that didn't come from the wound from his operation. I reckon he tried to hide it, but I knew him too well to miss it.
Just then, there was a snappy rap outside the door and a young nurse came in the room, carrying another one of those packs full of clear liquid. "Good day, Mr. Hanabishi," she greeted, trying in vain to contain her enthusiasm. "A dose of Taxol, 280 mil." She began replacing the empty pack on top of the shaft beside Avery's bed.
"Same to you, Yui. This is Akane, by the way," Avery said, his voice much brighter than it was a second ago. "My… my friend."
Nurse Yui and I greeted each other (oh yes, she did seem happier when Avery introduced me as a friend), and she gave Avery some reminders about taking care of himself before she went out of the room.
"She seems to have a little bit of a crush on you, doesn't she?" I asked to break the silence. He chuckled weakly. I added, "I tell you, you'll take this hospital by storm when the news of a really fine-looking patient in 510 leaks out. Now I know why those nurse fantasies are very popular…"
"I know," he agreed jokingly. "It's my kind of condition that needs a lot of TLC, so maybe it's the nurses' lucky break at last…"
I giggled. And then everything came back to the milieu before Nurse Yui entered the room. In some weird way, Avery knew we had to pick up from where we left, or else time would eventually run out, or something.
"The fireworks would always decide who's the one for you," he said all of a sudden right after the joke about nurse fantasies. "And you saw none, yes?"
His palms on his lap started quivering again, maybe from the cold, maybe from something else, so I clasped both my hands around them. "I saw none."
He looked at me meaningfully and said, "Me too."
I don't know if he meant that, or if he just said it to prevent further complications, but I know he did it for the better – and knowing Avery, it might as well have been the truth.
"Okay, well maybe a spark, but not really fireworks," he added hastily. He looked hesitant and tense, maybe fearing what I'd say about it.
Instead of being all mushy and full of drama with words, I smiled an assuring one, holding his cold hands tighter. "So… how do you feel?" I don't know if I meant to ask him about his physical condition, or how he felt about… well, the truth.
After a few seconds, his gaze switched from me to the liquid inside the packet on the pole dripping into a long narrow plastic tube that was connected to the needle inserted in his wrist.
"It seems not too long ago when I entered Taekwondo tournaments, or quiz bees and science or math contests at this time of the month," he began. "Now I find myself on a hospital bed with nurses fussing over me and telling me not to move too much because of my fragile condition. There's a needle inside my wrist and a lot of medications have gone through it just to enter my bloodstream. Anesthesia, sleeping stuff, vitamins, anti-cancer things like Taxol, and that horrible reddish black goo finding its way out of me all the time… You know, the life you see me in right now is way off the ideal one I've been dreaming of since I was a kid. And I'll be going through this every month until the bad cancer cells are all killed inside my body. My ideal life has passed me by, Akane." He sighed. His gaze went back to my eyes.
"I feel like my heart turned into a toe, and grew an ingrown the size of a thick, hardbound math book," he finished, the evocativeness in his eyes telling me that he was not talking about chemotherapy anymore.
"Ouch," I said, almost feeling the pain myself.
His hands moved beneath mine, so that it was his that were clasping mine. "Akane, the medication will have its effect on me soon. I'll be drifting off in a few minutes… and you're cold, even with your jacket on. If you don't leave now, maybe you'll catch a cold later on the streets."
"I guess I'll just hang around as a frozen snowdrop then," I replied, laughing quietly. "I kinda want it that way to get into the winter spirit." Withdrawing my hand from his clutch, I messed his unruly brown hair up.
"Good night then," he said, yawning demurely and closing his eyes. I'd thought he'd fallen asleep already, but with his eyes closed, he still managed to whisper a few more things before consciousness left him – a few more things that made me feel I was indeed the luckiest girl alive to have known a friend like Avery Hanabishi.
"Thank you, Akane…" he murmured as his green eyes were slowly covered by his eyelids. "For everything, for being there, for being the Akane that you are. My experience in Nerima wouldn't be the same without you, and I mean that in a really, really good way. No matter where life would take me – whether it would be in some other country or city, or up there in the clouds in the future, I would always remember you. You colored my life when it was at the peak of its grayscale boringness, and I daresay only angels could do that. I don't know how you ended up down here on earth, but I thank God that he sent you on a mission… otherwise, my life would have been just a dreary ditch of hotels, haciendas, greens, science, math, history, chocolate, cancer cells and chemotherapy."
Thinking that he's already fallen asleep, I was about to open my mouth and say something in reply when he let out a Freudian Slip. It's one of those things where you say your deepest, clandestine thoughts at the time when your mind's defenses are at their weakest. For example, you introduce your best boy buddy to your friend, and you end up saying, "This is Mark, my boyfriend" instead of saying "best friend." And then you end up cringing at the mistake you just did.
Avery didn't cringe, however. Those four words were the last ones he uttered before sleep finally claimed him.
"I love you, Akane."
I smiled, gave out a sob, leaned toward him, gave him one last affectionate kiss on the corner of his lips, and cried silently as I slowly sat down on the couch.
I cried because a person like him never deserved this fate, and never will. Because his life would have stretched out long and productive before him if not for Destiny's cruelty towards the wrong people. Because when he's gone, I won't have anybody to give me chocolates anymore, or talk about stuff at lunch as people stared at us like we were some alien species inside a cage. Because I'm going to miss his intelligence, sweetness, awesomeness, serenity, chocolaty chestnut brown hair and bright emerald eyes when he leaves. Because his strong ankles wouldn't get to be developed to their full Aquarius potential.
Because he never knew Ranma, the one who holds my heart. Because Ranma never knew him, the one who'll always be in my heart. Because Ranma would never find out how lucky he is to have such a healthy body and have people fighting him for it. Because if Ranma feels like the luckiest man in the world on account of the fact that the girl he loves also loves him back, he doesn't know that somewhere in this world, someone feels the opposite because he's got one of his feet on the grave, and the girl he loves only sees him as a special friend, forcing him to suppress his feelings and say that he feels the same way, too. Because billions of people in the world just take their lives for granted. Because millions of them just decide to commit suicide like that, like it's as easy as baking cookies for Santa on Christmas night. Because thousands of them die unwillingly, and those people are the ones who'd make really big changes to the world if they were alive.
But mostly, I cried because Avery was one of those people. Because even though he said that he was fine and that he wasn't going to die, the doctor's report on the clipboard said several things that contradicted the things he said to me.
Because somewhere along the way, I got lost, and he pulled me back to the right path. Because in doing so, he made me fall in love with him. Because I slowly fell out of it, for the reason that he was much too perfect and I was much too flawed and I realized that Ranma Saotome was my one true love. Because despite all of that, the fact that I fell in love with him still cannot be denied.
And I cried, because he would never know.
Thursday, my room
When I woke up, I immediately peeked through the white curtains covering the window at 510. The sun was barely visible behind the mountains, and the sky was a mixture of a lot of dark blue and a little violet and pink. I gasped and was about to cover my mouth with the noise I made that was sure to wake Avery up, when something really warm and furry brushed my skin. I realized that the reason that I'd been feeling much warmer and more comfortable than a few hours ago was because the white fur overcoat Avery lent me was covering my should-have-been-shivering body.
I looked over to the hospital bed and saw that Avery was quietly sleeping like an angel, vaguely shuddering because of the cold. The next thing I knew, even when I already decided to get up and leave, I was lost in my thoughts about what happened the last nine days with Avery, and what would happen in the next days without him.
The sound of the door opening pulled me back to reality. Unconsciously, a smile crept up on my lips as the sight of Ranma Saotome made my heart function again and the blood in my veins flow robustly as it did before I learned about the dreadful news. Without a word, without asking me why I'd gone without telling anybody where I went, he helped me up from the sofa and into the fur coat. After one last look at Avery, we left the room and closed the door behind us.
As silent as our departure came the tears rolling down my cheeks. I dropped on my weak knees, and Ranma knelt down beside me. Instead of telling me to stop crying, Ranma took a leaf out of Dr. Phil's book and just let me cry in his embrace. Maybe he found out that suppressing emotions isn't good, or maybe he just sensed that there was no use stopping me from crying because the issue at hand was worthy of a crying session.
And then I felt a hand pull me up by the collar of the fur coat; the same hand pulled Ranma up. We both turned at the same time to find a very tall man with an emotionless, almost stern face like it was one of the carved faces on Mt. Rushmore. His hand calmly searched for something inside the right pocket of his black coat, and when he found it, he offered it to me.
A white handkerchief. Just like the one Avery had wiped my face with.
"Thank you," I said quietly, taking it and wiping my tears to prevent me from looking sore and wet. And then I abruptly remembered that I was wearing the white overcoat that he said belonged to his mother, so I made a move to get out of it.
"Stop," he said, his voice as inexpressive as his face. "I want you to keep and take care of it."
I sniffed the wetness inside my nose. "Why?"
"I want you to treasure it the way you treasure your friendship with my little brother."
"Why?" I asked again, wanting to hear more of his voice so I could detect even a tinge of emotion as to not succumb to the belief that he is just some android from the future. And I had to suppress a giggle when I saw a slight upward movement with his left eyebrow.
"No more questions, just go. Night is falling and it will be much colder than this morning." His voice was softer. "And keep the handkerchief," he added, nodding goodbye to Ranma and me.
I smiled. "Thanks…" Ranma had already turned to go, but I just had to add something to my word of gratitude. You know, just to leave a mark, or something. My smile widened as I stood on tiptoe, leaned toward his ear and whispered: "…Ton-ton."
Well, I couldn't help it! The guy was so stiff, and Avery did call him that baby name. For a second, I feared that the six-footer would choke me to death for calling me the name that I guessed was as well-kept as the secret of the Holy Grail, because his eyebrows met in the middle and his eyes narrowed into tiny slits.
Until his expression softened and he flashed me a lopsided, you-nasty-child grin that made me grin back at him. He patted my head. "Go home, Maggot."
And with that, I turned around and caught up with Ranma.
"What was that about?" he asked me bewilderedly.
"Nothing," I giggled, making sure that Ranma knew that I was okay now. We were passing by the nursery, and the lot had increased in number. There were about five more bald babies inside already.
I saw Ranma looking at them, fascinated, then his attention focused on the corridor again as he slowly pulled me close with an arm around my shoulders. "Someday…" he whispered dreamily as we walked to the elevator.
And that di-syllabic word touched and amused me so much, that the moment we got inside the elevator, I put my arms around him and gave him a deep, warm kiss – one that lasted five floors. I pulled away just before the door opened and the people from the first floor hastily entered. We got out and walked all the way home, with my arm around Ranma's waist, his around my shoulder, and the furry gift from the Hanabishis hugging my body, preventing me from feeling too cold.
Most of the big chunk of truth has sunken in already, and the little bits are slowly settling in. The world has its ways of revolving and rotating, after all. Things are going to be like that until the sun goes out. I am just praying that Kami-sama makes everything okay for everyone, and that not-okay stuff would be soon okay when everybody opens their hearts up to the way of the world.
Oh yeah, I'm also praying that Avery would wake up and read the letter (using a torn page from my diary) I left on his side table before Ton-ton gets to it first. Ranma told me that he and Anthony had a little chitchat outside the room when I was still asleep, and he was told about Avery's condition and how I came to be there in the hospital. Ranma was also told that big brother Hanabishi had been… eavesdropping on my conversation with Avery. He looks all dignified and wise and all that, but deep inside he's just a humongous maggot himself…
And nope, Ranma and I still haven't told everyone at home about us. We plan to break it to them gently, like water on sand instead of rocks. That way not everybody would get horribly drunk in the merrymaking process.
Oh, what the heck. The conversation I had with Ranma a while ago just made me want to tell the whole world!
Savoring the last of our affection for the night on account of the fact that we were outside the house already, Ranma held me in a tight embrace. "I'm scared too, ya know." He pulled away and put both his hands on my shoulders. "And Anthony kept strangling his tears back. Everybody's sad and scared and stuff."
"I know," I agreed silently. "Things just happened too fast. The truth hurts so much."
I guess, when I looked straight into Ranma's eyes that moment, he saw the pain that I felt. He said, "Hey, you're not alone. You never will be."
And he kissed me. A sweet, lingering one.
"Because I love you."
Thus, I entered the house first, and he followed after a minute. The whole getting together thing was hard to conceal from the family, and I'm glad we wouldn't be stalling for long.
Author's Notes: I don't know if it was because of the death of my friend Klarence or the fact that someone plagiarized my work that I came up with this really sad chapter. I just don't know. But either way, I want to thank everybody who've been supporting me with reviews and emails! I owe you guys a whole lot of love and better chapters. (",) The next one would be done before or during the holidays, I think. The long Christmas vacation stretches ahead like a path paved in gold, computer chips, and hands on hot chocolate-stained keyboards…
And another thing, my inspiration for Anthony Hanabishi, Avery's brother, is Sesshoumaru from InuYasha (well, who else would make a very beautiful man? Moreover, if you just learned that Avery had a brother, then I suggest that you go back to the second chapter, the scene where Avery and Akane were eating lunch together. Avery did mention about having an older brother in a private school). Only he has brown hair and green eyes, and Sesshoumaru has silver hair and yellow eyes. Oh, and Anthony isn't a demon. ;)
kenshinlover2002: I will, thanks. And I got that note from one of those teen magazine articles about the pick-up lines guys usually use… one of them included "Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!" and other weird, funny, and able-to-work ones. Yep, at this point in time I can assure you that they would be together until the end.
Kathya: Thank you and you're welcome.
Ikerana: Hey, thanks! I'm glad I made you happy. And I have to admit that the whole kiss thing left me at a loss for adjectives one time because there weren't enough words to describe the feeling of kissing someone you love… if you know what I mean. Incredible, indeed. (",)
avery hawke: Avery, my character and reader (I still can't get over the nice coincidence)! I have to say that I always look forward to your reviews… they're the ones I could relate to the most, what with the Princess Diaries stuff and all. Actually, I got the idea of the seventh chapter from the Princess Diaries when they had the Nondenominational Dance. Remember when Mia came without a date feeling apprehensive and barf-ish, and Michael arrived in the middle of the Dance looking all ruffled? Yeah, that was it – they talked until Michael just kissed her… had me smiling distractedly the whole day, it did. (",) Thanks for reviewing, pal; it made me happy!
The-Shadow002: Thank you very much! I've skimmed over the chapter and did find some typos that I immediately corrected. The chapter's quite long indeed… I'm glad you like it. I really like the way you review the stories you've read – they offer much help to us fortunate authors because of the specific content you focus on, like particular scenes that were great and the ones that have a few spelling or grammatical errors in them. Again, thanks!
RiaSternchen: All I can say is one day, if you keep on reading fluff and mush like this fic, the sugar rush will give you diabetes… (",) But really, I agree with you – who cares? I myself have always been a fan of fluffy and cute fan fiction, and every time my sugar level goes up, I read more! Thank you for loving my story; of course I'll continue soon.
alanna28: True, true! I can only picture Ryouga writing really dark and seriously suicidal stuff when he finds out about Ranma and Akane being together once and for all. Yeah, the kissing, I know – there's just lots of it! Isn't that just nice? (",) About the pancake lessons from Ukyou, Ranma kept it a secret because he wanted to surprise the family on Christmas by cooking something for them, even if it's just flat, cooked batter. Glad you liked the whole Nabiki-Kuno thing; don't they just make a nice, weird couple, the epitome of opposites attract (I mean stupid and cunning)?
Darth Hawk 32: If you've read the eighth chapter, you'll find out the reason why Ukyou decided to go to the dance with Tsubasa. I haven't read the manga, but I could really tell that Ukyou and Tsubasa would never ever get together based on the anime series. Thanks for pointing it out.
celestial lelila: Well, I'm glad you finally left one. (",) Truth to tell, Akane was almost halfway to being with Avery for real… you might have noticed that she spent more time with Avery than with Ranma during the majority of the fic, and she did benefit from that emotionally. But it never happened fully, because I myself am a Ranma-Akane fan all the way. And yes, Avery's being too perfect was one of my cards, because I knew for sure that somebody that perfect wouldn't be as compatible with Akane as Ranma is. And there you go, commending the POV and the Dr. Phil and Harry Potter references! I just wanted to add a little color from the real world. Gratitude, gratitude.
Drakus: Thank you so much for the praise! Come to think of it, many people like you have liked the POV of this story that I might make fan fiction in the future using this standpoint. Regarding Avery – if you've read this chapter, you'll find out that he was never perfect to begin with… he only seemed to be so. Again, thank you for reviewing!
Flash: Thanks! If you've read my other fics, you'll see that I am a huge fan of Ranma and Akane, and nothing less or more. And since you're wondering where Avery is, then hey, let's not leave him out of the picture! He's there… hanging by the frame…
f-zelda: Of course I'll finish the fic… I always try to finish all my fics (so far, the first multi-chapter fic I did, Changed Overnight, isn't finished yet, but I'll put an end to it once I'm done with The Diary). Well, Avery didn't go to the dance because his operation was scheduled on that day. That was just too sad for him, but it's got to happen, one way or another.