Gayle: Early reports claimed Senator, that you were actually involved with Jedi Kenobi's apprentice, Anakin. But I'm happy to reveal that those reports were erroneous.

Obi-Wan: Wait a minute! I thought we were here to cover the senator's support of the…

Gayle: Jedi Kenobi, surely you of all people can understand meeting the public's needs. You are a servant yourself -- guarding and protecting the galaxy. An honorable profession, I admit, but not unlike my own. I give my listeners and viewers what they need.

Padmé: So….my personal life is what Coruscant needs to hear about?

Gayle: Why wouldn't they? You two are a charming couple, I must say.

Obi-Wan: We already told you we aren't a couple.

Gayle: Well, that's too bad. A recent poll indicates that the public prefers the Senator to be with you, Knight Kenobi -- instead of your apprentice.

Padmé: You took a poll?

Gayle: Why yes. And Knight Kenobi was the preference, three to one.

Obi-Wan: This is ridiculous.

Padmé: These rumors about me and Anakin. What were they about?

Obi-Wan: Padmé! Don't encourage her!

Padmé: I'm just curious.

Gayle: That the boy was infatuated with you ever since you met him during that awful Trade Federation occupation of your home planet. That he became obsessed with you and mooned over you for years. Not a healthy distraction for a child, I must say.

Padmé: I pretty much thought the same thing. I mean, he was nine years old when we met and ten years later, he tells me he's thought about me every day? Pretty scary stuff.

Obi-Wan: Padmé!

Gayle: Well, you don't have to worry your pretty head about him any more, honey.

Padmé: Why? What do you know?

Gayle: Michael! Roll Axis footage. Look at the lower left corner of the monitor. I believe that's your padawan, Knight Kenobi. Quite the lovely boy. We couldn't get any inside shots -- too much security and the strobes play havoc with the cameras. But he was observed by our vid operator, who can testify to the fact that the young man had a very…very good time.

Obi-Wan: What's wrong with that? It's not against the Jedi Code to pursue recreational activities, although…. I don't recall him telling me about this particular establishment. What's the name?

Gayle: Axis.

Obi-Wan: I don't recognize it.

Gayle: Probably not. Not your style of night spot, Knight Kenobi.

Obi-Wan: Why not?

Gayle: It's a homoerotic club.

Padmé: Anakin….is gay?

Obi-Wan: That's not possible!

Gayle: Do you need to see more footage? He didn't leave the club alone that night.

Obi-Wan: No! No…that's all right.

Gayle: We have our second caller. You are live on The Galactic City Report. Go ahead.

Caller #2: Yes…I'll have you know that I've been with Padawan Skywalker in an intimate sort of way, and I find him to be the most virile and masculine of men.

Gayle: May I inquire after your gender and species, caller? I'm afraid the connection is distorting your voice.

Caller #2: I'm a female…..uhm….a Twi-Lek female.

Gayle: I hope you get over your cold soon. How and when did you meet Anakin Skywalker?

Caller #2: We met…uhm….during…uhm…. the uhm….poodoo!

Obi-Wan: Padawan?

Caller #2: ……………………Yes Master?

Obi-Wan: Hang up. Right now.

Caller #2: Yes Master.

TBC…