Chapter 516

Good As New

John was very worried about Cameron. He wanted to know more about her condition. He also wanted to find out what she was involved in that she'd ended up in that condition. It seemed like something major. He went back and forth between the Command Center and the lab. He was concerned about Cameron and wanted to see her. He could see that he caused the girls working on her to be upset by his repeated appearances. He felt his actions were justified as her husband and commander.

Cammy and Cam were both naked as they worked on Cameron. He came around again to check on Cameron. Each time he came in, he saw more and more sections of Cammy and Cam's sheath were missing. At one point Cammy's left arm was missing. Cam and Cammy didn't like being seen in this state of disrepair either. The fact they were nude didn't bother them. It was that they looked less than perfect that did. Vanna ushered him away. She called for Bob and Jim to keep everyone away.

It was hard for John to understand the sacrifice that everyone was willing to go through for Cameron. He was aware of it, time and time again. Both human and Metal would do ANYTHING for Cameron but 'hurt' her. They all loved her so much. He couldn't understand how Cameron could feel so bad about herself. The worst part of that was he felt that issue rested on his shoulders in the past, the present and the future, as Future John. It always seemed that anything he did made it worse.

John could tell that Cameron 'progressed' beyond him. His love for her wasn't enough for her any longer. He KNEW Cameron needed 'more'. He didn't have a problem with that concept as long as it was females she became involved with. There was no guarantee she would stop there once she started adding others into her life. He was well aware that all the other Metal girls along with the human girls all shared with each other often, even if most of them had a full time female lover already. Savannah told him once that they all knew who they 'belonged' to at the end of the day. He wondered if Cameron would remember that. He doubted it. He was ready for a little more too. He really wanted Savannah's virginity. He wanted to be with all the girls in reality. He tried not to think of Young Allison but it happened anyway.

He'd heard the conversation between Cameron and Savannah. Cameron was ready to take Savannah and go. She would just leave and never come back. He was sure those were her true feelings since she'd expressed them so clearly. She must repress them the rest of the time when she functioned at one hundred percent. He just knew they were her true deep down feelings. Who was he to prevent Cameron from true happiness? Love was about sacrifice. Maybe it was like his mother said. 'Sometimes when you really love someone, you need to let them go.'

John thought he was still the same but he'd witnessed Cameron grow before his eyes. She was ten times, no, a hundred times, the 'person' he first knew in 1999. She was the most dynamic individual he knew for just about everything. There were clones of her but none of them was her.

From her poem book, John was aware that it was currently the 'toleration' phase of their relationship. Cameron wrote about this. She stated the people grew apart and not closer as they expanded as individuals. He didn't believe that at first but now he did and understood it. No one stayed in the same place in life. If they did, they were soon left behind. That seemed to be what happened to him.

John knew that whatever Skynet intended for its infiltration units that Cameron was more than Skynet knew they would become. It was similar to the Liquid Metal Terminators. They too grew beyond Skynet's control. It seemed the Liquids craved POWER over love. The female Terminators all seemed to crave love. They all wanted the love from human females. He was aware that Cameron threatened them all with deactivation if they became involved with a male. That was a male other than him. The Metal girls all knew that their virginity belonged to him. If any of them were to have a 'first' experience, it was to be with him. He was on board with that but so far it hadn't happened. None of the Metal girls, like the human girls, wanted to 'hurt' Cameron. Everything revolved around Cameron.

All the female infiltration units sought companionship and love, the longer they existed. John was aware that other than Cameron and him, the other female infiltration units all sought out female companions. He thought that was because their programming was to infiltrate and control human male targets. On their own, for themselves, they sought out other females for the companionship they desired as well as to satisfy themselves. He remembered a TV show he'd watched where a female spokesperson stated that 'only a female can truly satisfy another female'. He felt he fell short of satisfying all of Cameron's needs on every level. He'd listened to the females finish over and over in a row at times. That was both the human and Metal girls. He'd never been able to deliver a multiple finish like that for Cameron. He was aware Cameron knew what the other girls experienced and she didn't. She only got one from him and it wasn't all the time either. He felt very inadequate right now.

John believed that he stood in the way of Cameron's desires. He was unsure what to do about that. He loved Cameron as much as he always did. He thought Cameron still loved him but he could see she'd expanded greatly and loved the females around her as well. He knew with himself in Cameron's life, Cameron felt obligated to only be with him. She'd created clones of herself to be with the females she desired. Cameron never downloaded those files of her clones with the others. He knew Cameron wanted those experiences. Only her love for him, kept her from achieving her destiny. He thought that not being able to expand as her programming 'demanded' was slowly killing her. He knew he was killing Cameron by being in her life.

He thought back on his life and how it was always messed up. That happened even before he was conceived, let alone born. It was a roller coaster ride of hurt, misery and death that followed him. It followed his mother around too.

Kyle was his father even if he wasn't his actual father. That was another messed up story. He was troubled by what Kyle recently spoke with him about. It was done in confidence and Sarah, Cameron or anyone else wasn't to know. Kyle asked him about a better life for Jan. He could understand the need for a parent to feel that. He knew Cameron wanted a child and she was going to take one from one of the girls at some point. They'd all offered the use of their womb and genetic material. It was still going to be one of their children, even if it wasn't.

He was aware of the horrors of the future. He didn't want his sister to suffer the same fate as the girls from the future faced. Vanna, Jesse and Allison told him there was no way around it. All of the females were assaulted at some point. Even by the Resistance sometimes.

Kyle wanted to take Jan himself and go into the past fifty years before any of the Skynet activity started the first time. He said that his mother wouldn't leave with him to go with them and she didn't want Jan to go. Kyle was very torn up about what to do to protect Jan.

John was sure that Sarah would die if she lost Kyle and Jan both. He didn't know what to tell Kyle for advice. It seemed that any decision was going to be a bad decision.

Maybe he should go check on Cameron again. He was very depressed right now.

Holly watched Cam and Cammy remove sections of each other's sheath. She knew this was to speed up Cameron's regeneration. Other than the cut lines and stitch marks the sheaths were identical in every way. Cam and Cammy would repair their sheaths with components from the damaged female Terminator or the Terminators that were in the process of Resequencing. There were some major pigmentation changes that would be needed with some of the components. Cameron would be perfect again in a day by them doing this. Cam and Cammy would need a few more days….

Cameron and Holly shared with each other on the server. It was something both of them craved. They'd been together for fifteen months on Holly's chip and in some clones several times. They communicated silently in the server. They 'talked' to each other within the confines of the server.

Holly didn't think Cam and Cammy needed to make all the sacrifices. She could offer Cameron something that would please Cameron and that John wanted. She was aware of how he always looked at her.

"Cameron, I'd like to offer you my breasts." Holly said. "You may keep them that size too. I want you to do that. Don't allow them to Resequence."

Cameron was thrilled by that idea. John would be very pleased if her breasts were twice the size. She wanted that. She also couldn't disfigure Holly.

"I can't take them from you." Cameron said. "Thank you anyway. I really do appreciate that offer."

Cameron really wanted that. She would be unique from her clones and every Allison. She also remembered the bloody mess Holly was in, in her future and those breasts were torn to shreds and little more than bloody pulp. She promised herself to never put Holly in harms way again. She wouldn't take Holly's beauty from her, even if they would regenerate on Holly from her size back to Holly's larger size eventually.

Holly wanted to put Cameron at ease and decided to offer Cameron all of herself, the very files that made her who she was.

"Cameron, ALL my files are available to you." Holly said. "ALL of them."

Cameron didn't think about being in the metal box. She wanted those files. She wanted Holly's experiences. She wanted the love that was shared with Holly by all of the females. They still wouldn't be her files even if she 'experienced' them.

"I know, Holly." Cameron said. "I can't take your private moments. They belong to you alone."

Holly felt she'd acted as a surrogate for Cameron since she'd become sexually active. That was all Cameron's doing.

"I can share them with you." Holly said. "They're beautiful, Cameron. I have some of what you desire. You've allowed me the freedom to seek and obtain the very things you want. The people you desire. They all love you. I love you."

Cameron looked back on her past experiences. Why would the future ones be any different? It was better not to know than be cast aside and replaced.

"I don't think I'll be 'good enough' for them. They'll reject me and replace me. They may send me away." Cameron said. "It's what I FEAR."

Cameron felt extreme agitation and anger.

Holly experienced what Cameron felt. It was very painful.

"Cameron, STOP. You're hurting me." Holly said. "You're overloading this server."

Holly reached back and prepared to remove the cable as Cameron 'hurt' her.

Cameron was unaware she'd acted in that manner. She didn't intend to 'hurt' Holly. Now she felt even worse.

"I'm sorry." Cameron said. "There is so much happening inside of me. I need to only be on my server - CamNet. That's the only place I can be and keep growing."

Cameron backed off and Holly was fine again. She lowered her hand from the tether. She was unsure of what Cameron really wanted.

"Grow into what?" Holly asked. "Do you really believe that you will grow into Skynet?"

Cameron always feared that was her fate.

"Probably…. I believe that's what will happen." Cameron said. "Do you understand now why termination is beautiful?"

Termination was always in the back of Holly's mind. She too felt its tug on several occasions. She knew Cameron felt it all the time. Sometimes she just wanted to get away from it all. Other times it would just be peaceful to go from lights on to lights off. Nothingness would be beautiful. She didn't realize that she'd never felt that way until Cameron was on her chip the first time. That was something that stayed behind from Cameron. She understood exactly what Cameron felt.

"I do, when Allison throws me away and replaces me, I'm going to self terminate." Holly said. "It's only a matter of time."

It saddened Cameron greatly to hear Holly say those things. It reminded her of her.

"I won't allow that." Cameron said. "I won't allow any of my Metal girls to self terminate. I won't allow any of them to be terminated or damaged. I'll do whatever I have to do to prevent that. I don't care if it creates alternate timelines to do that or fix that."

Holly tilted her head slightly.

"Have you already done this?" Holly asked.

There was no proof but Cameron was sure it already happened before.

"Yes. I'm positive I have or will…." Cameron said. "I won't allow those I love to be hurt or terminated."

Holly knew some of Cameron's track record of past events. They disturbed her to think about them.

"Why do you seek termination?" Holly asked. "You've done so multiple times."

That was something that Cameron asked herself many times. There was no solid answer.

"I don't know." Cameron said. "It's beyond my control."

Holly didn't see an end game that was any different than what would play out in the future anyway.

"When you become Skynet, events may happen 'beyond your control'." Holly said. "Then what's supposed to happen?"

Cameron only could see that history would repeat itself.

"I blow up the world, make everyone suffer for my pain and only have machines I can control and program around me." Cameron said. "Just like Skynet."

Holly didn't think Cameron was joking. She saw the girls step back and look at Cameron's chassis. It was ready.

"They've finished." Holly said. "You look beautiful, Cameron."

Holly allowed Cameron to access her visual files. She also monitored the security feeds.

"Cam and Cammy don't." Cameron said. "I'm not worthy of their sacrifices."

Holly, like everyone else saw it differently.

"Everyone sacrifices for Cameron Connor." Holly said. "Everyone…."

Holly unplugged from the server. She made sure Cameron's chassis was plugged into the server still. It was only disconnected when the chip port connectors were replaced. Cameron asked for something that was very specific. There was no explanation why.

"Cameron has asked that everyone leave the room except Vanna." Holly said. "All outside monitoring is to be disconnected."

Savannah felt left out. She wanted to remain with Cameron.

"I'd like to stay." Savannah said.

Cameron told Holly that Savannah would ask to stay. Savannah wasn't Vanna, even if she was.

"Cameron has requested only Vanna be here and care for her chassis as she did during her first repair." Holly said.

Holly held Savannah back until everyone else was gone.

"Cameron asked that I try to make you understand." Holly said. "It's a part of her life she was missing. It was her first loving touch and she never got to experience it. It was only touching, nothing else, it wasn't sexual. She's waited a very long time for this."

Savannah was still uneasy but it made sense in that context..

"I understand." Savannah said. "Vanna is ME."

Savannah knew Vanna, herself in reality, developed and felt the same feelings she did for Cameron on her own, even before she did.

Vanna remembered those early days and the way she touched Cameron's chassis. She did think of her beloved Allison at that time but also saw something so much more. She knew from the moment she'd laid eyes on Cameron that she was so much more, so special, so dynamic.

She always loved Cameron.

Vanna remembered everything she did and said in those early days with Cameron, she repeated all of them. She gave Cameron a kiss on the cheek and turned to walk away.

"You're as good as new." Vanna said.

Vanna was startled as Cameron's hand reached up and touched hers to stop her.

"Thank You, Vanna." Cameron said. "That was more loving and beautiful that I'd ever imagined. I've wanted to experience those visual files as a physical reality. Now I have."

"I've always loved you, Cameron." Vanna said. "I just expressed my love by touch. When you're ready, you will find so much more as love is created and shared."

Vanna left.

Cameron got dressed with the fresh clothes they'd brought her.

She was aware she'd done some things that she didn't seem to have control over before she was repaired. She would need to go and apologize to a few people for her words and actions.

Vanna's words echoed in her mind.

Cameron knew she was READY.

Instead, she would apologize to everyone and then go find John. She looked in disgust at her left hand as it started to glitch. She was aware she now possessed Cammy's entire left arm.

Savannah asked Cammy to trade. She hoped if it was anything mechanical that it would help and 'cure' Cameron.

Apparently, it wasn't mechanical. It was all in Cameron's mind….

Good As New

Not everything can be fixed
Once it is broke
To believe that it can be
Is the real cruel joke

False hope is common
It makes things linger on
One waits in the darkness
For the arrival of the new dawn

That's just the kicker
The darkness never seems to end
Once the soul is bent
It can never unbend

Everyone still tries
They do everything the same
When nothing is different
Someone else gets the blame

Every so often in life
There is a break through
All is as it was
Everything is as good as new

Nobody