Chapter 20

One month later

Carly sat at the desk in her office at work. She spent most of her time, when not with her children, at Caroline's to keep herself distracted from missing Jason. It didn't really work but it was something to fill the hours. And daily she wrote him letters.

Tonight she was sitting here looking at the letter she wrote to him months ago when he left town to travel out West alone. He had never seen it and didn't know that she looked at it often when she missed him.

She folded it carefully and put it in an envelope to send with the letter she had just finished writing Jason.

Today's letter read:

Hey J,

This being separated thing sucks, doesn't it? Are you missing me as madly as I miss you?

How I wish there were words to write that could tell you what I lack when you are not with me. Almost Everything would be an accurate description, I guess, but still not big enough to be the truth.

I concentrate on Michael and Morgan, who miss you something awful but are otherwise alright, and my business. But no matter how much I focus on them and work I can't stop aching for you.

I heard a song on the radio today and I swear it could have been written just for you and me. It's called You Save Me by Kenny Chesney.

I know you've never heard it and, unless I play it for you, probably never will. Still it describes how I feel about you perfectly.

Here are a few lines from it:

'Cause when I'm a bullet

shot out of a gun,

'Cause when I'm a firecracker

coming undone,

Or when I'm a fugitive

ready to run,

All wild-eyed and crazy:

No matter where my reckless soul takes me,

Baby, you save me...

When I'm a ship tossed around

on the waves,

Up on a highwire that's ready to

break.

And when I've had just about all I can take,

Baby, you

Baby, you save me.

That's what you are to me, Jase. I know I'll never feel lost or crazy again if you are by my side. So I'll be here, waiting, and loving you like I pray you love me. You better!

All my heart is yours,

C

P.S. The other letter in this envelope is one I wrote you months ago. I missed you then like I miss you now and will miss you every moment till I hold you again. But you know that, right? Sure you do. Because if you don't know me, Jase, then no one in this whole world does.

P.P.S. Michael is doing a lot better now. I think the trip helped him to let go of a lot of the fear he had after his kidnapping. You're good for him. And me. And your namesake. Smooches, baby. I love you.

She sealed the envelope and kissed it. Then she closed her eyes and thought, Bring him home to me. I need him. Oh God, just bring him home to me.

I'm not sure how you know the perfect thing to say to

save me

from myself.

You're the angel that believes in me like

nobody else,

And I thank God you do...

Baby, you save me.

Kenny Chesney Lyrics

A few days later when Jason read her letter, a single tear slid down his cheek. He wanted to be there to give her everything she needed, and more than she even asked for, but this was one time it was out of his control.

He had thought they were finally through all the challenges and headed for a peaceful phase of their lives for once. But that one lose end, letting Ric live after he terrorized Carly and showed them all what he was capable of, had come back to remind him to never let an enemy get close enough to stab you in the back. Jason would remedy the Ric situation one day but for now he was stuck , alone and lonely in his cell, missing the woman that never let him feel that way when she was around.

He knew Carly would fill his dreams tonight. He lay down with the words of her letter running through his mind.

No matter where my reckless soul takes me, Baby, you save me.