SCENE 4
(Ichabod Crane enters Sleepy Hollow. He walks around a bit and sees a man going into a dangerously balanced treehouse with a gun. He gets scared so he walks on until he reaches a big house. He sees people kissing.)
Ichabod Crane: Eww. Get a room.
(He knocks and the doors open so he walks inside. There are lots of random drunk people and a lot of people playing a game. A lady is in the middle of the circle, blindfolded, threatening to kiss people. Ichabod Crane runs but she catches him.)
Lady: Is it...Theodore?
Ichabod Crane: No it is bloody well not. Let go of me.
Lady: Ooh. Touchy. Have a kiss anyway.
(Ichabod Crane struggles but she gives him a big kiss on the lips. A young man looks on in disgust. The lady takes off her blindfold and looks at him.)
Lady: (examining him) Not bad. What are you looking for, stranger?
Ichabod Crane: (eying her up) Erm...this old geezer called Baltus, I think.
Lady: Oh, he's my dad. I'm Katrina Van Tassel.
Young Man: And who are you?
Ichabod Crane: None of your business, pretty boy.
(The Young Man grabs him)
Young Man: You need to learn some manners!
Ichabod: You need some Tic-Tacs.
(Baltus Van Tassel and his wife enter)
Baltus: Come, come. Don't yell. I've still got a hangover from yesterday.
(Notices Ichabod)
Baltus: Are you selling something?
Ichabod: No. I'm a constable from New York.
Baltus's wife: (flirtily) Hi there!
Ichabod: Err...hi?
Baltus: Go get settled in.
(He walks away)