Mario and Luigi: Crazystar Saga

By NessSnorlax

Disclaimer: I do not own Mario, like everyone that writes fanfiction for Mario.

Chapter 2: Going Over the Border

Because of the bombs, Mario, Luigi, the Toads, and Mario's car fly off. Mario and Luigi land in the parking lot of the nearby Wal-Mart. The car does the same thing, although the landing rendered it unusable.

"Oh no! Our car blew up!" Luigi said disappointingly.

Mario, however, knew what to do. "Oh well. Rolls-Royce!" A Rolls-Royce suddenly appears in the parking lot. The Mario Brothers go in the car and drive to the place where the Koopa Cruiser is. However, there's no Bowser, so this prompts the Mario Brothers to look around.

Bowser is in another place, called the "Cave of the Past." Giygas is fighting Ness and his friends, but Giygas has a problem. "Urrp... uh, I have to go to the bathroom!"

"The bathrooms eighty million years ago don't have flush toilets!" Ness reminded the large, gaseous alien.

In the "bathroom," Giygas is throwing up. However, he threw up Bowser. "Hmph! Fine! I'll wait here for eighty million years! But I don't think that's going to get me to the future!"

"Magically," eighty million years later, Bowser is still waiting. "Finally! Those eighty million years took too long."

A random Pokémon trainer comes into the caves. "Hmm, I wonder why they take so long," he said

"Yeah, it's a mystery that all humans will never know," Bowser responded. Now, keep in mind that Bowser isn't that smart and is actually stupid enough to build a bridge over lava, put an axe behind it, and make it so anyone with a brain could chop down the bridge. That's how Peach escaped in Really Extremely Super New Super Mario Bros., you know.

Meanwhile, Mario and Luigi are still waiting patiently. Their waiting is abruptly stopped as Bowser flies over in that flying car of his. Bowser knew what the Mario Bros. wanted.

"Well, since you need to cross the border, YOU CAN GO IN MY SHIP! BWHAHAHAHAHA!" Bowser exclaimed.

"Why is that evil?" Mario asked.

"Well, it has a house, filled with the ever-scary GRASS-EATING LAWNMOWERS and one PlayStation 3!" Bowser said, while trying to scare Mario.

"Lawnmowers are supposed to eat grass. But the PlayStation 3 scares me for some reason. Now I see why it's so evil," Mario replied. He drove his car up to the cargo hold of the ship. Bowser asked Luigi if he was coming. Luigi responded with "NO!"

Out of nowhere, Bowser's Koopa Army comes up. "Guess what? We're boarding your ship!" a green KT says. In the back, a Goomba somehow squished Luigi.

"HAH! How's that for a strange twist! I'm too weak to squish things. I feel sad."

The ship leaves, but Luigi, who is still squished, is chasing it for some reason. Alarms on the ship activate and send out a warning message. "WARNING! WARNING! TWO DESERTERS AHEAD! BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEPITY BEEP!"

Luigi, scared that something would happen, calls out for his go-kart from Mario Kart: Double Dash, which falls on his head. He tries to get on, but before he could, a big hand from the ship takes Luigi and the go-kart into the cargo hold.

The ship's P.A. system comes on, with a message from the stupid King Bowser. "Mario and Luigi, get on deck NOW! What? You said it wasn't possible for someone to run that fast? WELL, YES IT IS, WITH MY MAGIC POWERS! WHAT? I DON'T have magic powers? ARRG!"

Mario and Luigi simply enter the next room. A Koopa Troopa blocking their path asks "Do you know how to use your suitcase?"

"Duh! I don't need some talking turtle to tell me that! I just open this tab here, this tab here, and voila, we can see the contents of the suitcase. You can also store things in it and hit people with it." Luigi responded.

The Koopa Troopa, glad to hear that, said "ALL RIGHTY!" in a very loud, annoying voice and did a very crappy dance to some very crappy music. Annoyed, the Mario Brothers leave and go onto the next room, the photo room.

A Koopa Troopa sees the brothers and acts like a robot. "WARNING! WARNING! ILLEAGAL IMMIGRANTS! NEED PHOTOGRAPHS TAKEN FOR PASSPORT! BZZT! CLANK!" As he said this, he was walking towards the ship's window and falls out of it. Other members of Bowser's army thought it looked like fun, so a Goomba decided to jump out. Of course, he'd probably get squished either way. Next, a Boo comes.

"HAH! I'm not going to fall out of the ship's window!" the Boo boasted. However, he was proved wrong when he somehow started to fall. "HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?"

While all of the commotion is going on, Luigi looks into the suitcase.

"OH NO! WE HAVE NO PICTURES IN OUR PASSPORTS!"

When Luigi said "pictures," the ever-famous annoying cameraman from EarthBound came in. "Say FUZZY PICKLES!" Luigi and Mario, who were scared, run off. However, the Cameraman could get their pictures before they left. When they did leave, Luigi verified that they were safe and moved on.

Outside, a greater evil arrived. Cackletta and her henchman, Fawful, were flying towards the ship. "EEYAH HEH HEH HEH... um... line!" Cackletta said.

"It's 'heh'," the nearby director told her.

"Oh, right ...HEH! I'm so kind of stupid!" Cackletta said.

"Look! Of thing flying now it is of Shangri la! Of attacking now it you we must commode, cackle monkey cheese apple Jane thing!" Fawful replied, ordering the two to attack.

Cackletta, one of the only few people to understand Fawful's garbled speak, replied with a confident "EYEWASH HEH HEH HEH HEH!"

"Of 'eeyah' of it now is, not the of 'eyewash.' Of eyewash having of you do, I HAVE FURY?" Fawful replied, because of Cackletta's minor mistake.

"NO! I ate it all! DOWN TO THE LAST DROP! LIKE THAT TASTYFUL COFFEE! EEYAH HEH HEH HEH HEH!" said Cackletta.

On Bowser's Koopa Cruiser, Mario is teaching Bowser how to be a good villain. "Bowser, if you want to be a good villain, you have to be like other great and powerful villains, such as Gannondorf, Ridley, and Giygas!"

"Oh, I see. I'M GANNONDORF! I WANNA FLY AND TAKE OVER THE WHOLE PLAN-IT AND STUFF," the excited Bowser proclaimed. Somehow, Gannondorf appears. "I am Gannondorf, and I want to take over..." Before he could finish, a scared Luigi runs over and says "OH NOES! SOMEONE'S COMING!"

It was Cackletta and Fawful! Fawful used his headgear to suck up Ganondorf.

Cackletta, of course does her traditional laugh. "EEYAH HEH HEH HEH HEH... I need a new laugh."

"Of something having don't I you have: I HAVE FUR! No, no, no..." Fawful said.

"Well, duh, of course we don't have fur! Are you stupid or what?" Mario replied. When Mario said that Fawful was stupid, he erupted into some type of rage.

"NO! I HAVE FURY! AND YES, I HAVE LOTS OF FURY TO PASS AROUND. IN FACT, I HAVE ENOUGH FURY TO FEED THE PEOPLE IN SOME COUNTRY AND GIVE THEM VACCINE FOR DISEASE FOR FOURTY SEVEN DAYS!" After this, they entered a battle sequence.

"Fink-rat! Mustard! Fink-rat! Mustard!" Fawful shouted. As he shouted, fink-rats and mustard bottles flew out of nowhere. Mario tells Luigi to grab the mustard and eat the bottle, but since they can't eat the bottle, they eat the mustard instead. This, somehow, defeated Fawful. The Mario Brothers won and gained lots of experience points, HP, bros. points, and a whole bunch of the other stats.

"It's the Fawful family tradition to sacrifice your toothbrush every time you loose, and that's what I'm going to do," a saddened Fawful said while crying. "And that's what I'm going to do. Goodbye Shrimpman! I'll miss you!" Fawful throws the toothbrush known as "Shrimpman" and it literally flies away.

Meanwhile, in England, there is a mob of people protesting something. "WE DON'T WANT SOMETHING ANYMORE!" one protester shouts. Suddenly, Shrimpman lands in the crowd. The protesters didn't notice it at first, but the first person who saw it screamed "OH NO! It's a TOOTHBRUSH! EVERYBODY RUN AWAY!" The protesters all ran away. Nearby people, hearing this, all ran away except one Canadian tourist. "So, they think it's scary, eh?"

On the Koopa Cruiser, Cackletta turned the ship into the wrong direction. Fawful is about to destroy the ship until he said "Of TV watching important more much now is Sega Genesis." So, like anyone would do, he turned on the TV.

"This is the C-SPAN 5 news report about the Mushroom Kingdom Presidential Debate." Another person in the room asks the question to the three candidates. "Now, the question everyone in this country wants to know about: How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?"

Princess Peach (Labour-NatDem) said "Let's see... 1, 2... gah! I'm choking! Someone get this stupid round lollipop with mediocre chocolate candy out of my throat!"

The next candidate, Ash Ketchum (MKMRLP) replies with "I am the only one who knows the answer. And that is to crush it with my foot!" He proceeds to do so. "DIE EVIL MEMBER OF TEAM ROCKET!"

The third and final major candidate, Toadsworth (F), had this to say: "Now, this royal proclamation declares that the amount of licks to get to the centre of a Tootsie Pop will be 1, 2..." Toadsworth eats the candy, including the stick. "...3!" When he finishes, the C-SPAN 5 makes a little remark. "The only person not from the Mushroom Kingdom is Ash Ketchum, so he will be eliminated before we can vote at our local late night shows whenever they're on."

The ship is now over a town called Bulgar, which is in a whole 'nother place.

"Bulgar? Oh, you must mean we're over Bulgaria! Eeyah heh heh heh heh, that announcer is so stupid."

Announcer, who is mad at this, says "Uh, no, that's not a typo. It's a town in a game... oh, that's right, it's called Fire Emblem."

"Oh. Well, I don't care anymore, so let's listen in on some random conversation that's not really important to us, but maybe some other video game characters that live somewhere in some dirty huts and old, eleventh century houses." So, they listen in on some random conversation.

"More like, home of oafs with hollow tongues," a girl (Lyn) says. A person wearing green on a horse (Sain) says "Ooh, you're even lovelier when you're cruel." To break the mood and add some randomness, a pink hedgehog (Amy Rose) runs into the area. "HAVE YOU SEEN MY DARLING SONIKKU?" Amy shouts into everyone faces.

"Sorry, but we don't know who that is. Let's go away from this nonsense," Lyn said. Everyone else in the square goes away except Amy, who decides to follow.

On the top of the ship, Fawful is getting increasingly bored. "Fine of. Ship of blowing up time it now is!"

"More Ovaltine please!" Bowser says.

"Of giving you I HAVE FURY will I!" Fawful proceeds to blow up the ship, which has an explosion so big, the velocity of the force sends everyone (including the four people that were in the square) to land in Stardust Fields, in the good old Mushroom Kingdom. Cackletta and Fawful fly off into the distance.

"My Ovaltine! I never got more Ovaltine!" Bowser cried. He landed into a cannon. Mario, Luigi, Luigi's go-kart, and the Maybach fall towards the border.

"Wasn't the car a Rolls-Royce?" Mario asked.

"The Maybach is better," Luigi responded.

Mario obviously knew that."Then what happened to the other car?" he asked.

The Rolls-Royce crashed into the border patrol station, of course! Voices from the station shouted "THAT HURT, FLYING CAR!" as they rose up to the sky. Some holy gospel song is playing in the background.

Ignoring the song, Mario and Luigi now cross the border into the Beanbean Kingdom. "I'm going to put on the radio and go down to the nearest town," Mario said. Announcer announced what the radio station is: "This is the BUS, 101.1, Beanbean Castle Town." Then, they just stayed there and stopped.

Annoyed, Mario asked "So, what will we go on next? WE DON'T KNOW! WAIT UNTIL THE NEXT CHAPTER!"

"Yeah, you do realize that's my line, Mario. So, wait for the next chapter to find out what's next! GOODNIGHT!" Announcer exclaimed as he left the area.

"Uh, but its mid-afternoon! Are you sure you're the right announcer for the right fic?" Mario asked.