Mario and Luigi: Crazystar Saga

By NessSnorlax

Disclaimer: I do not own Mario, like everyone that writes fanfiction for Mario.

Chapter 4: The War Against Dragohoho, Fawful's Biography, and Evil Christmas Trees

The Mario Brothers are now heading up Hoohoo Mountain, after the Bridge Guys came back to life and re-built the bridge out of frozen turkeys. However, after going up the mountain a few centimetres, they realized that they forgot to do something.

Mario was looking at a Player's Guide for Mario and Luigi: Superstar Saga. He realized that they forgot to do something. "MAMMA MIA! According to this official Nintendo's Player Guide for the game this fanfic is based on, we forgot to learn our high and spin jump techniques."

A flying cape that has no body and is just flying by itself is flying near the Mario Brothers. "GASP! It's the Magical Flying Cape of the ancient ruins of Zkjnfdsoifboisfbseoiufboirefbyresvgyfb!" Luigi exclaimed. "With that, we will learn every technique that we would have learned in every Mario game released... EVER!"

And so, the cape of the random gibberish place that I typed randomly on my keyboard casts a magic spell on Luigi and Mario. They learn every technique in every Mario game released... ever. Oh, and all of the future ones, too. "Woohoo!" Mario says.

Let's check on Fawful now. He is at a Barnes and Noble bookstore in New York City, signing copies of, you guessed it, his biography on his toothbrush. "Well, lines of long being it is," Fawful says, amazed at the long line stretching for city blocks. The line is so long; it stretches through the Atlantic Ocean, and for some odd reason (not), abruptly stops at the United Kingdom.

Cackletta enters. "EEYAH HEH HEH HEH HEH! Fawful, we have to go to the Empire State Building, NOW!" After she said that, however, everyone in the whole line ran across the street. "Of looking now you did what, Cackletta!" Fawful said angrily.

"Uh, no, look across the street, 'smart' one." They look across the street to find that the Duane Reade over there has a huge banner outside saying "FREE SNACKS TO STEAL!" Some random people are saying stuff. "Snacks are good!" Bob said.

Sarah, the other random people mentioned here, saw something. "Look! Over there!" she exclaimed. Outside of the PBS station WNET, a huge banner outside says "FREE BROADCASTING EQUIPMENT TO STEAL!"

"OMG! I need that to start my new television channel, the Cackletta Network!"

Fawful asked what kinds of shows it would have. "Oh, well, it would have hit shows such as 'Cackletta Night Live', 'Late Night with Cackletta O'Brien', and 'Cackletta Idol'." Cackletta replied. "Of shows real existing, but the name yours replacing 'Saturday', 'Conan', and '(insert country here. It could be American, Canadian, German, Antarctican, etc.)'." Cackletta was angry. "THEY ARE NOT REAL SHOWS! I MADE THEM UP! THEY DO NOT EXIST! BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH!"

Meanwhile, over in the Beanbean Kingdom, Mario forgot what they were supposed to do. However, Luigi knew. "I think we have to go to the top of that mount-tain and defeat the boss guy."

"Well, what's the name of the boss guy?" Mario asked. "Uh, I don't know! I left the guide in the car!" Luigi exclaimed, pointing to the car at the bottom of the mountain.

"Next time, PUT THE CAR IN YOUR SUITCASE AND CARRY IT UP THE MOUNTAIN! Oh, whatever, let's just climb up Death Mountain."

The director notices the mistake, and says "CUT! Take two!"

"Let's just climb up Chimney Mountain."

"CUT! Take three!"

"Let's just climb up Mount Everest."

A few hours later, they're still doing this. Luigi fell asleep, and random people built and completed a monument to Fawful's toothbrush.

"CUT! Take four thousand one hundred eighty six!"

"Let's just climb up Santa Claus Lane."

"CUT! Take four thousand one hundred eighty seven!"

"Let's just climb up Mount Bob."

"CUT! Take four thousand one hundred eighty eight!"

"Let's just climb up Hoohoo Mountain."

"FINALLY! You get your lines right," the director said. "Now, since I don't need to be here, I'm going to disappear in a cloud of smoky things. And so, the director disappears in a cloud of smoky things, which contains things I will not mention.

Changing the subject, Luigi decided to say something. "You know, we need to decorate this mountain for Christmas!"

"Let's get the 'Queer Eye' guys to do it!" Mario said, mainly because he didn't give a crap about decorating a mountain. Then, the theme from the Queer Eye show starts playing, a black GMC comes in, and the 'Queer Eye' guys start to decorate the mountain with furniture and other crap. Mario comments on the situation. "There's no need to teach a mountain about culture and food."

Then, the mountain came to life. "Mario, you're hallucinating! I eat tons and tons of rocky things every day! Lalalala..." Then, the mountain runs away, destroying the village nearby. "Uh... that was very, very strange. That was the strangest thing I have ever seen. Strange, strange..." Luigi interrupted Mario. "...let's guess, Strange. Strange, full of strange. What are you talking about, anyway?"

Mario told Luigi the story of how the mountain came to life and destroyed the surrounding area. "Well, good thing that was just one of your crazy hallucinations, Mario." Luigi said. "Or else, the whole world, and many others, would be doomed! Not even the capitol of Vermont could stop it in its tracks!"

For no apparent reason, it starts to snow heavily. The Mario Brothers see a fountain in front of them. "What's this fountain for?" Luigi asked.

There is a sign on top of it. It says "HOW TO USE BLOATWATER. STEP 1: HAVE MARIO GO IN THE FRONT. STEP 2: GO UP TO A FIRE STATUE THING. STEP 3: HAVE LUIGI JUMP ON MARIO'S HEAD. STEP 4: WATER PUTS OUT THE FIRE STATUE THING. STEP 5: FIRE GOES OUT. STEP 6: STATUE TURNS RED. STEP 7: TORNADO FORMS."

"Did we really need to get that descriptive?" Mario asked. The sign, because it couldn't talk, didn't respond.

So, the Mario Brothers do what the sign says and travel to the very top of the mountain. It was a long hike, but it was worth it because they had no other choice except to get stuck there and not progress any further in the game (in this case, fanfic).

At the top of the Mountain, Luigi saw Blablanadon. "LOOK! It's Blablanadon! It's the thing with the thing that flies up to the mountain to get the round thing and goes..." After that point, Luigi just said incomprehensible gibberish that no one would understand. Blablanadon was suprised to see the Bros. "OMG! The Mario Sisters! It's Mario and... some green guy who's name I don't know because he is not famous! NOT FAMOUS!" Luigi, who is tired of everyone in Beanbean not knowing his name, screamed "IT'S LUIGI, LU-IG-I! HOW HARD IS IT TO REMEMBER?"

Blablanadon just stares at Luigi. "Okay, Mario and Loo, I was keeping the egg warm and decorating the mountain for Christmas, which is tommorow, at the date this chapter was written and uploaded to !" Mario responded. "That's crazy! I'm Mario Mario," he said, impersonating the 'Brian Fellow's Safari Planet' sketch on Saturday Night Live. "Besides, I hired the 'Queer Eye' guys, and they do a better job than you."

The egg that Blablanadon was sitting on is starting to hatch. "Oh, look, the egg..."

"Uh, I told that to the readers already," said Announcer. "Look, Announcer, you don't have to dictate everyone's life!" Blablanadon said angrily.

"Actually, yes I have to, or else the readers won't know what you're doing. Now, let's get back to the main plot." The egg has many more cracks in it than before. After it hatches completely, Dragohoho comes out of it. "It's-a-me, Dragohoho!"

Mario is furious that another video game character stole his line. The Mario Brothers and Dragohoho enter a fight.

However, there is one slight problem. "Uh, what are my attacks?" Dragohoho asks, to noone in particular. Fortunately for Mario, he doesn't care, because he turned into Kirby and ate Dragohoho, ending the battle.

Inside Kirby Mario's stomach, Dragohoho turns into Peasley. KM was feeling sick and threw up Peasley, and a lot of vomit. "You know, I almost turned into female! It was SCARY!" Peasley said. Apparently, he's afraid of women.

"That's nice, but can you do what you normally do?" So, Peasley did what he normally did: Flick his hair back, which produced a light that would be the brightest light that you had ever seen. It's so shiny, it makes Dragohoho come back alive again. "I'm ALIVE!" he said, boasting that fact proudly to the audience.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, weren't you Peasley?" Mario asked Dragohoho.

Dragohoho gave out a large gasp. "YOU'RE RIGHT! I ALMOST FORGOT!" Then, Dragohoho produced an explosion that was so large that it would be the most explodiest explosion that you had ever seen.

Peasley gets back on the subject. "Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha! Well, I have to get back to the castle, since I forgot what I was going to say and stuff."

At the bottom of the mountain, the Hammerhead Bros. are slamming into the side of the mountain. It cracks, and the Hoohoo Block falls off.

Meanwhile, Peasley hasn't left yet because his flying cushion hasn't arrived. Then, it appeared. "Uh, I was... um... watching a foreign film. Yeah." What Peasley's flying cushion was actually doing was giving anti-hyperactivity potions to certain people, because it was evil. However, it didn't tell anyone that. Peasley gets on the cushion and leaves. Blablanadon flies back down to the bottom, leaving Mario and Luigi as the only two people remaining.

"Now what?" Mario asked. "I guess we go back and find our guide. That's what I'd do," Luigi said. And so, they walked down the mountain, hoping to get their player's guide.

Um... Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from NessSnorlax! Well, or it would be when this chapter was first published.

-The NessSnorlax.