A construction worker was working down in a mine was currently sipping on a cup of hot cocoa. Technically he wasn't really working; it was the automated construction equipment, and he was simply monitoring.
The winter months had already arrived and coated the forest in a blanket of snow, and it was nice and peaceful outside. However, he then heard a strange noise just outside as he looked to the woods.
"Somebody there?" he asked.
At first, he thought he was hearing things and returned to his cocoa, but then he heard a growling sound. He turned his head and immediately dropped his cup and screamed as he came face-to-face with a hideous creature.
He immediately ran off, and the strange creature began wrapping a slimy tentacle around the construction bots and sucked them in.
Prowl was looking down at the snow-covered city and found it rather beautiful. Unfortunately, a snowplough broke his serenity and shoved a pile of snow right on top of him. He switched off his hologram and transformed into robot mode, looking deeply annoyed.
He soon returned back to base and started to pace up and down as he complained.
"It is though humans are forever at war with nature!" said Prowl. "Beauty literally falls from the sky, and they rush to destroy it with their machines! They won't stop until all of nature's beauty is gone." Prowl looked at Bumblebee and Sari, who were still playing a video game. "Have you even heard a word I said?" They just continued playing their game. "Bumblebee, is your commitment to all these electronic devices really necessary?" Prowl asked.
"I hate to break it to you, Prowl…" said Bumblebee tapping on Prowl's holograph projector, causing an image of Prowl to appear. "But you are one of these electronic devices."
Prowl turned off the projector and shut off the game.
"Hey! What did you do that for?" Sari asked
"I was on level two hundred-thirty!" Bumblebee yelled.
"Autobots listen Teletrann-1 just picked up something Cybertronian coming from the forest", said Optimus.
"Decepticon?" Prowl asked.
"No, it's nonsentient, probably a piece of our ship," said Optimus as he looked to the readings. "But I need someone to track it down and bring it back to the base before it falls into the wrong hands."
"Eeeeeeeeee! Camping trip!" Sari cheered. "I mean, as your resident Earth expert, I should go along to supervise and help explain the complexities of nature."
"Well, I don't suppose there's any harm in it," said Optimus.
"We are going camping! We are going camping!" Sari sang as she danced excitedly.
"Camping? As in leaving the comfort of civilization? As in no TV? No music? No video games? As in MY CIRCUITS GONNA ROT FROM BOREDOM?" Bumblebee cried.
"Don't worry, Bumblebee camping's easy. I'll show you the ropes," Sari assured him, patting him on his leg.
"Actually, you both could use a chance to unplug ourselves for a day or two," said Optimus looking at Bumblebee and Prowl. "Think of it as a character builder."
Prowl and Bumblebee looked at each other.
"And I'll be joining as well," Blackarachnia added. "You're going to need someone to examine that piece. Plus, I've had survival training and so need to make sure the two you don't tell each other circuits."
Both Prowl and Bumblebee were driving along the road to the woods. Bumblebee was carrying all the camping gear and Blackarachnia.
"You sure you know how to use all this junk?" Bumblebee asked.
"What's to know? We roast marshmallows, tell ghost stories, sing campfire songs," said Sari.
"There's more to nature than these odd Earth customs and mellow-marshes," Prowl reminded.
"Additionally, remember that we are on a mission not to have fun," Blackarachnia reminded them.
"If it's so great, why don't they pave the roads so that people can actually see it?" Bumblebee questioned as they jumped up and down the uneven road.
Eventually, they reached the campsite and Prowl transformed into robot mode. Once Bumblebee reached the summit, he came to a stop, and Blackarachnia jumped off of him, transforming into robot mode.
"This looks like an ideal place to set camp," said Blackarachnia.
"Agreed, we can go on foot from here." Prowl nodded.
Bumblebee opened his doors so to dump all the camping gear. "At least I can get all this junk out of me now. I was feeling kinda bloated," he said, and various electronics tumbled out into a pile. Prowl gave Bumblebee a look. "What? You said to pack the bare essentials."
"Since when are surround sound speakers, a strobe light and a portable media player bare essentials?" Prowl asked.
Blackarachnia shook her head. "Clearly, we have different concepts to the word essentials because it seems as if you have brought everything, but the kitchen sink as the humans often say."
"Why would I bring a kitchen sink?" Bumblebee frowned.
"It's an expression indicating that you brought unnecessary equipment."
"You shoulda seen what I left back at the plant," said Bumblebee.
"Where did you find room for all this junk?" Prowl asked.
"I would rather not say," Bumblebee said, tapping his fingers together.
They began to set camp, though Bumblebee apparently was having a few problems.
"Ow!" Bumblebee cried as he crawled out from the unfinished tent. "Nuts and bolts to this." He tossed away the hammer, grabbed the mini widescreen TV, and wandered around the campground. He looked in the bushes and up the trees. "So, where do they hide the outlets?"
"For the hundredth time, there is no electricity," Prowl reminded him. "Fire is what provides warmth and light. It's also nature's way of cleansing."
"Chainsaws and pavement are much more effective. Now lend me your battery for a few hours." Bumblebee said.
Prowl slapped a hand to his forehead and looked as if he was going to take Bumblebee off-line.
Fortunately, Blackarachnia then appeared after scanning the region. "I was unable to trace energy signature in the region, but we can do a thorough search in the morning." She then noted the tension between the two Autobots. "So long as the two of you don't tear each other apart."
Meanwhile, Sari banged two rocks together on a pile of twigs and accidentally hit her thumb.
"Ow! I could use some of that cleansing fire now," she said. "These marshmallows aren't gonna roast themselves." She then tried rubbing two sticks together, but still, she was unable to light the fire.
"Uh, Sari, have you actually ever been camping?" Bumblebee asked.
"Of course, I've—seen it! In a movie. Maybe."
"Uh-huh. Need a hand?" said Bumblebee activating his stinger and charging it.
Prowl stopped him, and he then picked up the sticks hastily rubbed them together, creating a fire. He tossed the flame into the stick pile. He then moved to the still incomplete tent. Within seconds he set up the tent.
"See? I don't need to learn any of this stuff. I've got you guys to back me up," Sari said, grinning.
"You must learn to survive without the aid of machines. You never know when you won't have them," Prowl warned.
Sari didn't look convinced. "So wanna hear a ghost story?"
"Hear a ghost story? I just found batteries for my media player!" said Bumblebee pulling out his media player. "Which one do you wanna watch?"
"You don't even have a screen to project it onto." Prowl reminded.
"Way ahead of you, nature-boy," Bumblebee smiled.
Then he ran behind Prowl and stuck a USB inside Prowl's holo-projector. The horror movie shot out of the projector. Before the movie could go any further than the titles, Prowl yanked the media player out, then looked at Bumblebee and crashed it in his hand.
"NOOOOOOOOOO!" Bumblebee's voice echoed throughout the woods.
It was now late at night, Bumblebee was in his vehicle mode, and Sari was sleeping inside of him. Prowl and Blackarachnia remained awake when suddenly there was a strange noise.
"What was that?" Sari gasped.
"Monster!" Bumblebee yelled, transforming and accidentally yanked the tent from the ground.
Sari then hit the ground thanks to Bumblebee's sudden transformation. "Relax, Bumblebee."
"Go back to sleep, Bumblebee," said Blackarachnia. "There aren't any monsters."
"What! I've seen enough creature features to know that any poor sap who gets suckered into some lame camping trip wines up getting chased down by a monster!" Bumblebee yelled.
Prowl then transformed into vehicle mode, flicked on his headlight and pointed it around the camp. The light hit a shadowed lump that growled, and then he transformed back to robot mode.
He then looked at Bumblebee. "They're called bears, and they're hardly mon—"
Then the lump pushed down two trees and lumbered into the camp, revealing its true self as a monster. It had no head and one large eye on its chest with several other eyes on its slimy body. It had stumps for feet and the components of the construction bots for hands.
"Gee, Prowl, I didn't know bears had shovels for hands. I guess I did learn something during our camping trip," said Bumblebee.
"Whatever it is, I'm certain it's not something you find in the wilderness," said Blackarachnia.
"Shhh! First, we must determine this creature's intentions," said Prowl calmly. But before Prowl could get a closer look, it whacked Prowl with its shovel hand and stumbled to Bumblebee.
"I'm gonna go with hostel," Bumblebee squeaked.
"Prowl? Are you okay?" Sari asked, kneeling next to Prowl.
"Sari! Look out!" Bumblebee yelled. The creature loomed above her and raised its pickaxe hand. Bumblebee shot a stinger blast at it. "Why don't you pick on someone your own size!" The monster swung at Bumblebee, grabbed sari, and dodged the attack. "Maybe we're a little unclear about your own size."
"Maybe you should stop talking logic to a creature that has no head!" Sari suggested. Prowl attacked with his shuriken, but the monster absorbed them.
"The creature appears to be made of metal wrapped in a living organism," Prowl concluded.
"I think it might be Cybertronian," Sari suggested.
"What makes you say that?" Prowl asked.
"Call it a hunch," Sari said, looking down at her key, which was glowing and floating towards the monster.
"I'm guessing we found the source of that energy signature," said Blackarachnia.
"So much for that 'piece of our ship' theory," said Bumblebee. "How do we stop it?"
"Just like any other opponent! Search for its weakness!" said Prowl.
The monster swung at them then went after Prowl. It swung and struck as fast as possible, but Prowl was faster. Then Blackarachnia fired some webbing at it, but it didn't even slow it down.
"Still searching, I take it?" Bumblebee joked.
"We just need to formulate a plan," Prowl said.
"How's this for a plan?" said Bumblebee and ran away with Sari in his arms. "Run!"
Prowl and Blackarachnia followed and soon took the lead with their speed. The monster stomped behind them. After a minute of running, the monster could no longer be heard.
"I think we've lost it," said Prowl.
"What I tell you about camping?" said Bumblebee. "Monsters. TV is always right."
"Wait, monsters are real? Tudor-bot is such a liar!" Sari pouted.
"It's not a monster! You said it yourself. It's Cybertronian," Prowl reminded.
"So you got anything that ugly back on Cybertron?" Sari asked.
"Yeah, but Bulkhead's back at the plant," said Bumblebee, pointing a thumb over his shoulder.
"Can we please just focus?" said Prowl tiredly. "And stick to the facts. We know it's made of nonsentient metal covered in living organisms that give off a Cybertronian energy."
All three of them looked at one another got the same thought. "Space barnacles."
"Barnacles? Like those gross things attach to boats?" Sari asked.
"Only when a space barnacle attaches to a ship it drains its energy and acts like a computer virus. They must've residual Cybertronian energy before we crashed on Earth," Prowl concluded.
"That explains the energy signature Prime was picking up. So why don't we just burn them off like we used to do the barnacles on our ship?" Bumblebee suggested.
Prowl shook his head. "These seem to be more powerful. They weren't just draining those construction-bots of their energy. They were controlling them. Something on earth must've mutated them."
"If they were on our ship when we entered the atmosphere, then they had about 50 stellar cycles to multiply and adapt to their surroundings," said Blackarachnia.
"Then let's give them the bright lights of the big city," said Bumblebee.
"And they could infect every machine in Detroit, or have you forgotten how fast Space barnacles multiply," said Prowl.
"So we have to go find that thing?" Bumblebee groaned.
"Ah, great, just when we got done running away from it," Sari sighed. Her key glowed and pointed a ray of light.
"No choice, we're going to activate the creature right here and now before it gets any stronger," said Blackarachnia.
Using Sari's key to guide them, they soon came across a mine shaft.
"What is this place?" Bumblebee asked, staring at the mine entrance.
"I think it's one of my dad's mining sites. He's always got people digging here. Who knows what he's looking for?" said Sari. The key started blinking. "I think it's picking up a signal."
"Must be residual energy. The creature has definitely been here," Prowl concluded.
"Think it went inside for dessert?" Sari asked.
"Just be careful and don't let the barnacles touch you, or you'll be dessert too," Prowl warned.
Prowl plucked a pole out of the ground and posed a battle stance; Bumblebee charged his stingers, Blackarachnia absorbed bumblebee stingers, and Sari picked up a snowball. They all stood poised and ready for battle.
"ATTENTION BARNACLE MONSTER! Come out with your hands over your—Well, you don't have ahead. But you get the idea!" Bumblebee yelled into the mine.
"Do you mind?" Prowl snapped.
"What? I'm just trying to break the tension," said Bumblebee.
"Not to mention giving away our position," said Blackarachnia rolling her eyes.
Prowl then felt a snowball drop on his head, and he turned to Sari. "Do you mind?"
"That wasn't me!" Sari retorted.
Several more snowballs dropped from above, followed by a rock that landed on Bumblebee's head. The four looked up and stared at the barnacle monster appearing over the mine's entrance and began to cause an avalanche.
"Take cover!" Bumblebee yelled, grabbing Sari.
He then dashed into the mine entrance, and seconds later, the falling snow blocked the entrance.
"We're trapped," said Sari.
Bumblebee transformed into robot mode and turned on his headlights, showing a lot of tunnels around the cave.
"We need to find another way out," said Sari. Bumblebee opened his car door, and Sari jumped inside him.
"Looks like all that time playing Medieval Maze Monsters are about to pay off," said Bumblebee and drove off into a tunnel. "Okay, the sun rises in the east, so the maze never starts sideways." Bumblebee turned various corners while instructing himself. "Always make two rights, then a left, and skip every other turn. And that should take us—!" Bumblebee skidded to a halt.
"Right back where we started," Sari sighed.
Outside, the monster jumped down and stomped onto the ground. It looked around for its targets. Prowl tossed a shuriken in its back, and Blackarachnia fired some bolt's from her borrowed stingers. It turned around to see Prowl and Blackarachnia standing in front of the cave in the entrance.
The monster charged at them only to discover that it was a hologram, and it slammed into the snow. It struck the snowbank so hard that it opened the entrance, much to Bumblebee and Sari's surprise.
Then before it could attack them, Prowl distracted it with another shuriken, and he began chasing him through the forest.
Blackarachnia then landed in front of Sari and Bumblebee. "Come on, Prowl may need some backup."
The creature had entered the forest and began knocking down trees in an attempt to find Prowl. Then while's back was turned, Prowl appeared hanging down from a branch.
"Let's turn up the heat on these barnacles!" he said and activated his jump jets.
The fire shot out and scorched the monster. The monster yelped in pain and struck Prowl with its pickaxe, which was now encrusted with barnacles and pinned him to the tree. Before it could deliver the final blow, Bumblebee and Blackarachnia charged their stingers and fired a huge burst of electricity at the monster.
"This sure beats roasting swamp-mellows!" Bumblebee laughed.
"That's marshmallows," Sari corrected.
"Don't let up; we need to burn those barnacles off!" Blackarachnia yelled.
The monster screamed in pain and backed away towards a ledge. They continued the electric onslaught until the barnacle monster toppled backwards over the ledge.
"Haha! One order of fried space barnacles coming up!" Bumblebee yelled as the monster splashed in a river. "Make that poached space barnacles. Look where nature got you. Barnacles! Luckily we can depend on good old mother technology. Right, Prowl?"
Prowl stumbled to stand up and shake.
"R-run!" he ordered. He turned around, revealing the barnacle infestation along his arm, then roared, and Sari screamed.
"Don't worry, Sari! If anyone can fight the control of those space barnacles, it's my buddy Prowl!" Bumblebee cheered. Prowl lumbered closer and roared at them. "We're slagged…"
"Anyone got a plan B?" Blackarachnia asked.
"Maybe my key can heal him." Sari offered.
"Or he might infect your key. We need to take Prowl's advice and run or better yet drive!" said Bumblebee as he grabbed Sari, and then he transformed, but his tyres didn't get any grip in the snow.
"Don't you come will snow tyres?" Sari asked.
Blackarachnia quickly fired some webbing to slow Prowl down, and Bumblebee finally freed himself. Blackarachnia then transformed into her beast mode and began to follow him deep into the woods.
"Quick, turn off your headlights so he can't see us," said Sari.
"Good idea," said Bumblebee. He turned off his headlights, but he couldn't see where he was going and hit a tree. He turned on his headlights and had a painful processor ache. "Okay, bad idea."
Blackarachnia then approached them. "We need to keep moving."
Bumblebee then drove away from the tree. "We need to head back to the plant and get Prime and Ratchet's help. They'll know how to fix Prowl! And the best part is that we can finally leave this stupid nature!"
"But won't Prowl just follow us and spread barnacles all over Detroit?" Sari asked.
Bumblebee stopped. "It's not fair! Why do you have to be so right all the time?"
"What about your comlink?" Blackarachnia asked.
"Good idea!" said Bumblebee and tried to activate his comlink, but it was broken. "Oh, slag! It must have got damaged in the crash!"
"Then our only choice is to find some way to trap Prowl and then get help," Blackarachnia concluded.
"We need to head back to the mine," said Sari.
"Which way is that?" Bumblebee asked.
"I dunno! Don't you have some sort of navigation drive?" Sari asked.
"Yeah, for roads," said Bumblebee.
Then they heard a sound Bumblebee used his reversing mirror. Prowl had just emerged after pushing down a tree with his chest, and his left arm was now completely covered in barnacles. Bumblebee and Blackarachnia transformed into robot mode.
"Sari! Run!" Bumblebee ordered before Prowl kicked him in the face.
Blackarachnia then kicked him across the face making sure not to touch any part of him covered in barnacles. Prowl then quickly responded by punching her across the face, knocking her to the ground. He then began to approach Bumblebee, but Sari pulled a branch down and released it, causing it to smack Prowl in the face and send him rolling down a hill.
Both Bumblebee and Blackarachnia then pick themselves up, shaking the snow off their faces.
"Hey! Your tracks!" Sari pointed at Bumblebee's wheel tracks.
"So, I messed up the pretty white woods," said Bumblebee. "You sound just like Prowl."
"No, we can follow them to the mines and lead Prowl into it, and then we seal him inside," Sari explained.
"Right, then we get the others and finally get out of this nightmare," said Bumblebee picking her up.
Then saw Prowl climbing the hill and quickly followed attracted back to the mine.
The three of them had just managed to reach the snow pile that halfway blocked the mine entrance. Prowls, moans and growls could be heard right behind them. The barnacles had now covered the left side of his face, and they were starting to grow on his right arm and leg.
"That's right, barnacle boy! Come and get some nice tasty Autobot!" said Sari pointing at Bumblebee.
"Hey! Whose side are you on anyway?" Bumblebee asked.
"He's following us, isn't he?" Sari pointed out.
They went a little bit further in, and Prowl climbed to the top of the snow pile.
"Those barnacles must've drained all your ninja smarts. Because you fell right into our trap!" said Bumblebee and quickly fired his stingers.
The bot of electricity struck the ceiling just over Prowl's head and started to cave in of snow and rocks. Bumblebee then illuminated the cave with the light on his Autobot insignia, revealing that the exit was now sealed. Both Sari and Blackarachnia just stared at him dumbfounded.
"Uhh, Bumblebee, I think you were supposed to do that from the OUTSIDE!" Sari yelled as Blackarachnia was shaking her head.
"What? OH, MAN!" Bumblebee said.
When the dust cleared, Prowl was already starting to pick himself up.
"Great, now we're trapped," said Blackarachnia.
"Hey, what was that other plan you had?" Sari asked, looking at Bumblebee.
"You mean the one that goes RUN!" Bumblebee yelled, and they ran.
"Hang on!" Bumblebee yelled and jumped onto the tracks.
He then began using his tyres to roll down the tracks, and Blackarachnia followed him by transforming into beast mode.
"We need to burn off those barnacles! Help me find a tree I can light on fire with my stingers!" said Bumblebee.
"Bumblebee! Trees don't grow underground! We're in the middle of a mine!" Sari pointed out.
"Correction! We're at the end of a mine," said Bumblebee noticing they were coming to a dead-end.
He quickly hit the brakes before he collided with the mine cart. They thought they had lost Prowl for a brief moment, but then they heard his moans coming down the tunnel.
Blackarachnia then approached them and transformed into robot mode. "I'm not sure if we can keep this up much longer.
"This bot is not going to be a barnacle's breakfast," said Bumblebee as he pushed the mine cart. The minecart then continued to roll down the track into a collided with Prowl. "I hope he doesn't remember that when he turns back to normal."
"This way!" said Blackarachnia leading them down a side tunnel.
Prowl quickly recovered from his collision and pushed the mine cart aside.
"We need to find some way to burn off those barnacles!" said Sari.
Bumblebee stopped when he saw a fire hose. "Yes!" He quickly grabbed it just as Prowl made his way down the tunnel. "Eat fire space parasite!" Bumblebee sprayed a jet of water at Prowl. "Water? I thought this thing said 'fire' hose!" Sari and Blackarachnia just looked at him blankly. "Oh, right."
Sari then got an idea. "Fire hose? Wait, that's it!" Her eyes then turned towards the nearby furnace room. "Bumblebee, drag the hose in here!"
Bumblebee nodded, detached the hose and ran inside the furnace room. Prowl made a strike at Bumblebee, but he just got a scratch.
"Ha! Too slow!" said Bumblebee as he entered the room.
Blackarachnia quickly closed the door shutting it before Prowl could enter, and Bumblebee gave a sigh of relief.
"I hope you have a good plan," said Blackarachnia looking at Sari.
"I do; I just need to hook up this fire hose to the hot water main and boost it up with my key. If I'm right, it will heat the water hot enough to scorch those bugs off Prowl," she explained as she attached the hose to the pipe.
Blackarachnia pressed several buttons, but the console had no power. "No good, this console was completely out of power.
"Bumblebee zap this thing with your stinger!" said Sari, but Bumblebee simply stood there. "Bumblebee?"
Bumblebee turned and growled, and they were horrified to discover that he now had barnacles on his head and neck. Sari shot a jet of water at Bumblebee, knocking him to the door, then Blackarachnia armed wrestled with him.
"You better do something, and fast I can't do this all day," Blackarachnia advised.
"Unplug ourselves, commune with nature, think of it as a character builder, thanks a lot, guys!" Sari grumbled as she yanked off her key and shoved it inside the control panel, but it would activate. "What? You can bring an Autobot back to life, but you can't light a fire? STUPID KEY!"
Sari then banged the key on the panel, causing a spark giving her an idea. Suddenly Sari got an idea. Just then, Prowl broke through the door, and Bumblebee threw Blackarachnia to the other side of the room. They then lumbered over to Sari and who had run to the furnace. Sari banged her key on the furnace coil, and the coil glowed red and heated up.
"Bath time, kids!" Sari yelled and turned on the water.
Hot water then suddenly shot out of the hose and blasted all over Prowl and Bumblebee. Soon enough, the barnacle spell of them one by one until they were completely cleansed.
"Why are you both wet?" Bumblebee asked.
Sari looked at Blackarachnia, who merely shrugged, and she sighed.
Once they were back at base, they informed Optimus what had happened in the woods. Sadly, Sari and getting cold for her efforts and was sitting on the couch with a blanket over her shoulders, drinking a hot cup of cocoa.
"And then they were back to normal. Like nothing ever happened," Sari finished. Meanwhile, I'm stuck riding home in no dry clothes and an Autobot whose car motor doesn't have a heater. Achoo!"
"If it wasn't for her plan, we all would be barnacle food," said Blackarachnia.
"You showed a lot of courage and ingenuity, Sari," said Optimus. "And hopefully, you'll stop backfiring soon."
"Hello, it's called sneezing! Achoo!" said Sari and blowing her nose loudly.
"I don't even wanna know what that's called," Bumblebee choked.
"And we owe you a tremendous debt of gratitude," said Prowl.
"And you owe me a new media player. Or did you think I forgot?" said Bumblebee holding out his broke media player.
"Have you learned nothing from our time in the woods?" Prowl argued.
"Yeah, I learned that we should pave it all over as soon as we get the chance," Bumblebee argued back.
"Surely you don't blame all of nature for a few barnacles, do you?"
"You don't see my game player turning people into zombies, do you?"
"Actually…"
"Guys!" Sari interrupted. "That monster was made of barnacles and bolts. Just like our team is humans and robots. Nature and technology working TOGETHER! Just like Blackarachnia." Prowl and Bumblebee looked away from each other uncomfortably.
"You still owe me a new media player…" Bumblebee mumbled.
"They're still one thing I don't understand," said Blackarachnia. "The barnacles attached themselves to something giving off a Cybertronian, but clearly wasn't part of our ship. So what are they attached to in the first place?"
Where the giant barnacle monster lay, some snow brushed off, showing the Decepticon insignia. Professor Sumdac stopped in his truck, eagerly jumped out, and then ran to the dead barnacle monster.
"Finally! The energy signal source!" said Professor Sumdac, marvelling from top of a rock. "How could this have avoided my detection for so many years? Megatron will be so surprised!"