Interlude 2

Back with our two villains here, checking on them as they plot with their new allies, and make contingencies for their usual enemies.

Nothing much to say about life other than life kinda being meh. Crash On The Run looks interesting, I guess. Dope music and such.

I don't think I have to bother with those disclaimers anymore, do I. Guess I'll stop with them.

"So, how long is it gonna take before it's finished?" Cortex asked an unseen being as he gazed out the window into space. He could see the alien ships flying about, constructing the giant structure that would soon become the place of his inevitable victory over that boorish turtle monster. All he needed to do was wait.

"Just one more day, and then everything will be finished. I'm assuming you're going to hold up your end of the deal, hmm?" The unseen person spoke, the faint sound of something squeaking inside a bowl being slurped up and eaten going ignored by Cortex.

"Yes, yes, when it's finished you'll have total control over the arena for our little competition and the rest of the time after. All you have to do is provide commentary, televise it, maybe make some flattering merchandise for me, N. Gin will provide some references of my flattering side. Make sure that people root for me instead of turtle breath."

"Yeah, yeah, I'll do all that. Believe me when I say that this is all for my benefit as much as it is yours." The being finally stepped out into the light, the green, purple-suited alien slurping up some shrimp-like creatures into his proboscis-like mouth. "Ever since that whole debacle with those N. Trophy twins, the Gasmoxian aristocracy ended up losing faith in me. Me! Nitros Oxide! I'm a household name, you know?"

"I don't and don't care." Cortex rolled his eyes, cringing away from Oxide's weird eating ways. "Now, how's the other one doing? The egg man?"

"Mmm, N. Trance? Oh, he's doing great. Apparently, he found some kind of hotel full of ghosts and brainwashed them all. No incidents or anything." Oxide failed to notice Cortex rolling his eyes, too busy playing slurp-a-mole with a particularly squirmy shrimp that refused to keep its head out of his shrimp tin.

Really, there was no way this N. Trance idiot was better at him at the whole brainwashing thing. That was his shtick. The fact that the guy was friends with N. Tropy would have made him try and kick the guy in the nads and shove him into his Psychetron head first. But he was only present in hologram form. And he didn't know if he had nads, to begin with, and he was a literal egg. And he actually needed his help, no matter how much he tried to insist he didn't need it. He couldn't be in two places at once. The cloning machine he had made years ago was only able to make poor man's copies of living beings, with hideous teeth and insanely bushy eyebrows. He shuddered at the idea of a clone who didn't share his handsome visage.

"Well, tell him to keep at it. A ghost army sounds vaguely interesting to me. And also to keep an eye out for anyone who might have thoughts about ruining my plans. We may have left the bandicoots back in my home universe, but I still can't shake the feeling that they're going to ruin things for me somehow." Gosh, he hated those bandicoots. Cortex waved Oxide off, going back to dramatically staring at not-technically his handiwork. "Anyway, go back to whatever you were doing. I need to think evil thoughts to psyche myself up for tomorrow."

"Good, I hated this conversation. I would have missed out on "Keeping up With the Vormolians" if this had gone on longer." Oxide left the room, cheering to himself as he finally caught the last shrimp, while Cortex returned to brooding.

If all went well tomorrow, he would defeat Bowser in a kart race and prove himself the superior villain, as he was always meant to be. So long as there were no surprises, such as, say, a surprise betrayal in his group, things would go swimmingly, and this entire universe would be his to conquer.

He didn't need to worry much about betrayal. His cronies were of the fanatically loyal variety. None of them would ever betray him for even the flimsiest of reasons.

Bowser looked at the little girl standing in front of him, the apparent niece of the brainiac guy he was fighting. Junior had brought her into his section of the ship, having apparently befriended her at some point. She had a very smug, confident expression on her face, standing with her hands behind her back in a manner akin to her uncle. And she had a proposition for him.

"So, let me get this straight." He began. "You want to betray your uncle because he dragged you into his universe conquering scheme against your will, and you're perfectly fine defecting to our side provided we give you something in return?"

"Yep. Uncle Cortex basically kidnapped me from school right as my summer vacation started. Nothing says revenge like completely ruining his plans for universal conquest, and right now, this is the perfect opportunity to ruin it." Nina rubbed her metal hands together as she chuckled evilly to herself. "So, do we have a deal?"

"Hmm, Junior, what do you think?" The king turned to his son, who was currently toying around with his phone.

"I trust her. She explained the plan to me before we came here, and it's mega cool. I'm sure you'll love it."

"That's good, that's good. Kamek!" The royal mage jumped a bit when he heard his name. "What do you think? Just to be clear, I already agree with this plan, so any protests of yours will be ignored, got it?"

"Well, umm, the child is the daughter of an evil genius. Usually, those particular genes pass down pretty easily."

"I'm his niece."

"Sure, whatever. If she does have something to give us, chances are it's something big. So, against my better judgment, I agree with the deal."

Bowser chortled. "Right answer, Kamek. Now, kid, before we begin, what are your demands? Let's get that junk outta the way first."

"My demands are simple. I want my own personal quarters in your castle, recommendations to the best metal bands in this universe, and whatever is the cutest creature in your land as my personal pet."

"I'll think on the room thing, I have my own personal metal band that makes my soundtracks, so that's covered. As for the cutest creature." The king hummed as he tried to think up what he personally considered "cute." Normally not to his taste, but. "We got piranha plants. They're like plants, but they eat people sometimes."

Junior was helpful enough to show off a picture of a piranha plant on his phone, giving Nina time to admire the adorable monstrosity. Yeah, that was definitely cute.

"Alright, looks like everything's in order. Now, for my end of the deal."

Digging through her skirt pocket, she pulled out a tablet that looked like it had been pulled apart and jammed together with a bunch of wires and other sciency thingamabobs. "You see, my uncle came to this dimension via some stupid science fair thing he made called the Psychetron that helps him make his dimensional portals. It's how he gets his army of robo nerds and other weirdos here. And this is my attempt at hacking into the machine."

Tapping a few times on her tablet, a portal suddenly opened up next to her. It was small, barely large enough for someone like Junior to squeeze through. A fact that Nina would acknowledge. "Sure, it's a bit small at the moment. I need to work out the kinks on the things. But I can guarantee you that once it's finished, you'll be able to send your own army and take over my uncle's territory right under his stupid nose. Kehehe." She could already imagine the look on Cortex's face, all covered in tears and snot as he ugly cries himself to sleep every night at his horrible failure. This was gonna be worth it so very much.

Bowser wholeheartedly agreed with her thoughts. This would be useful for him. Especially when it came to dealing with a certain mustached nuisance and his brother, what's his face. Mario always managed to nip his evil plans in the bud right as things got good. Even with him multiple galaxies aways, the red-clad plumber would definitely find a way to meddle in his little contest of evil.

This dimension-hopping thingy was the perfect insurance policy for that. He let out a deep, rumbling chuckle as he reached over to shake Nina's hand. "Little lady, I think you're gonna make a great addition to my army."

"Fat chance."

"Whatever. Have that thing ready for me by tomorrow. I wanna use it to check on a certain someone."

Yep, things were going well for the Koopa King. And now they were going to go even better.

Next time, our heroes find that the Last Resort is under new management, and file a complaint with the staff.