Mario and Luigi: Crazystar Saga
By NessSnorlax
Disclaimer: I do not own Mario, like everyone that writes fanfiction for Mario.
Chapter 9: A Mario Day's Night
A fight was about to begin, but Popple soon changed his mind.
"Dude, let's not fight! Let's just dance around like lunatics!"
"I like being a lunatic!" Rookie said enthusiastically. "It's funtastic! Plus, we can go crazy!"
Mario was not amused. "Okay, you two are acting crazy."
And so, Mario and Luigi ended another journey to rescue the princess. Thank you for reading this fanfic!
"NO! NO! NO! BIG HUGE GOD DAMN NO!" Luigi shouted.
"Okay, we get the idea, it's not the end." Mario said, trying to make the atmosphere more calm. "So, do we care? NO! In fact, it might never be the end! This fanfic could even have 358 chapters!"
"But we'd be too tired," Luigi pointed out.
"We're video game characters! We never get tired! Now let's find the chicken!"
While walking along in the forest, Mario finds a map.
"How convenient! They put a map where the legendary bucket of KFC chicken is so that bad guys could steal it!" Mario said, excitedly. He rushed off to find it.
"They can all eat potato cakes!" Luigi said.
Meanwhile, at Cackletta's base, Fawful was drilling the crowd if they have what it takes to join the Farmy.
"Do you has what it takes to join the Farmy?"
"YES!" the crowd shouted.
"Will you bring a sack lunch and some tomato slices for me?"
"QUITE POSSIBLY, I GUESS, BUT WHO EATS TOMATO SLICES?" The crowd was confused.
"Now, let's celebrate by eating potato cakes."
Fawful goes into a door marked "ULTRA SUPER-SECRET ROOM." Cackletta is sitting at her desk.
"Well, day one of teaching is done! Who did we hire, anyway?" Fawful asked.
"Eeyah heh heh heh heh! The finest of all evil peoples! Petey Piranha, Dr. Eggman, the Koopa Kids, and Sailor Moon!" Cackletta explained. "Oh, don't forget the owner of Joe-Bob-Hank's Gas in Reno, Nevada."
"Excellent!"
"With this crew of evil guys, we can take over the world by the second Tuesday in April 2013," Cackletta pointed out.
Fawful was surprised. "WOW! That's fast!"
"Yeah, I know," Cackletta said, "but we should hire more evil guys."
"Now, according to this map, we have to find switches and stuff and that will make some platforms rise so we can do stuff and find the bucket of KFC!" Mario said.
"Why don't you use your Tanooki suit, and we could just fly up there?" Luigi asked.
"WOWNESS! That's a good idea!"
Mario throws Luigi, but he throws him too far, making Luigi land on the roof of the Single Pine mall. The roof of the mall shatters into millions of tiny pieces, which are all eaten by the floor tiles in the mall.
"Wow, just wow," Luigi said. "Those floor tiles, like, ate all the glass. I wonder if they can eat humans too. I've always wanted to get eaten by a floor tile. It sounds like fun! Can you eat me, floor tile?"
The floor tiles don't respond, much to Luigi's dismay. A beanperson looks at Luigi strangely.
"I've actually eaten a floor tile once. But that's another story for another fanfic, I need to go to the Laser Disc Hut!" he said.
"Laser Disc Hut?"
"That's the name of the store, Mario brother."
Luigi gasps, shocked that someone in the game knows who he is. "It's someone who knows I have a brother! What's my name?"
"I think you're named after a character in a movie with a time traveling DeLorean, and one of the characters in that movie was Marty McFly. So that's your name."
"NO, YOU IDIOT! IT'S LUIGI! HOW DID YOU NOT KNOW THAT?"
Announcer, seeing as that has nothing to do with rescuing the princess, decides to play god and turn back time, and re-write history so it NEVER HAPPENED!
"Well, that didn't work out. Let's try this jetpack I found in the middle of that painting," Mario said, pointing to a tree made out of pixels.
Mario puts jetpack on Luigi, and Luigi presses the start button. However, something goes wrong.
"You idiot! It's flying out of contorl! Even my vioce is out of contorl!"
Announcer decides that Luigi should land in Sweden. So, Luigi lands in Sweden. But this is not the real Sweden. This is some strangetastic Sweden invented by the Announcer.
"Now, where can I get gas for this flying gas-powered device?" Luigi wondered. He looked across the street, where there was a stør called "DAS SVEEDISH GAS STATION" (the sign being in fake Swedish). Of course, Luigi goes there, but runs into a problem.
"Liter? What the hell is a liter? How many miles are there in a liter? How many gallons are in a inch?" Luigi asked. He was becoming scared.
Meanwhile, some Swedes near the background speaking babelfished Dutch were having a conversation. "DAS GASP! Wist u dat Zweden van plan is om analoge televisieuitzendingen in 2008te elimineren? (Did you know that Sweden plans to eliminate analog television broadcasts in 2008?)" the first Swedish dude said to the other Swedish dude.
"Wie geeft? Eerst, u hijgde omdat u de groene broer van Mario zag, Marty McFly, en tweede, waarom zijn wij Nederlands het spreken? (Who cares? First, you gasped because you saw the green Mario brother, Marty McFly, and second, why are we speaking Dutch?)"
"Het is omdat de auteur een vertaler niet kan vinden die in Zweeds kan vertalen. (It's because the author can't find a translator that can translate into Swedish.)"
Announcer soon realizes that he made another mistake, so he rewrites history so IT NEVER HAPPENED! He's just like a one-man Ministry of Truth.
Luigi, now back in the Chucklehchuk Woods, told Mario about his adventures in Sweden. "Sweden is weird! I mean, they have these things called liters and people who speak Dutch, not Swedish!"
"I believe you went to the author's imagination."
"Whatever it was, it was a weird and scary place. What were we here for, anyway?"
"Nothing, but I just thought of something!"
"I hope it doesn't involve me hitting the roof of a world-famous made-up mall and ending up in a foreign country that's famous for it's contemporary and comfortable furniture."
"Not this time, but it has something to do with your High-Jump!"
"WOW! That's amazing! I didn't know about that! Does it involve jumping up that ledge that the developers put right there that's blocking us from continuing our journey?"
"Yes!"
The Mario Bros. use the high-jump, but Luigi ends up in a small town, because of Fawful's new Transport Annoying Evil Things...a-tron, and to continue making things DIVERGE FROM THEIR JOURNEY! MUAHAHA!
"Why the hell does everything weird happen whenever we try to jump up on a freakin' ledge?" Luigi questioned, to no one in particular. Announcer and Beanperson don't respond, but the floor tiles from the mall do.
"It's really our conspiracy to take over the world. We floor tiles may seem innocent, but watch out... the next time you go to the mall, we might eat your feet!"
"Right..." Luigi said, ignoring them. Luigi soon devises a new plan to get the story on-topic again.
"It's as easy as copy and paste!"
A giant arrow from the sky comes down and right-clicks on Luigi, and a menu comes up. The arrow clicks on "CUT" and Luigi disappears.
Back in the Beanbean Kingdom, a giant menu shows up. Mario is scared half to death and hides under the pixelated tree filled with pixels. Luigi suddenly appears.
"What the heck happened there?" Mario asked.
"You won't believe this, Mario, but I was the letter zero! And the letter one! Millions of them!" Luigi explained, with such detail.
"Well, I sure don't believe it."
In Cackletta's base, Fawful is speaking normally. This was, indeed, quite a shock.
"Okay, now for Farmy training. Okay, now do 3,000 jumping jacks, push-ups, push-rights, lifting up telephones, eating telephones, and installing cable TV."
"But what does that have to do with evil?" Petey Piranha asked.
"Actually, I'm just the substitute for Cackletta, she's on vacation in some American state."
In the fictional county of Bob County, in the fictional state of A State, an army guy is trying to track down Cackletta.
"We know you're in there! So get out!"
"Eeyah heh heh heh heh!" Cackletta cackles. She's trying to pretend not to be there. "Uh, this is Marzipan. Leave a message after my beeps!"
At the ledge, the Mario Bros. Perform a feat that no one on Earth thought they could do, and that is to finally get up and on to the ledge.
"Finally! We actually made it!" Mario said, exhaustingly.
Luigi wasn't impressed. "And it only took us 2 hours! 2 WHOLE HOURS WHEN IT COULD TAKE US 2 WHOLE SECONDS!"
"And who's to blame for going to Sweden, the Mall, and some small town no one ever heard of? Now, some of that is me..."
"ALL of that is you!"
"How about we just get the bucket of KFC, and LEAVE THIS FOREST!"
Mario and Luigi continued walking, but that dreaded flying roller disco of DREAD is flying over the forest. They could hear a song that went "At the white room, with black curtains, in the station..." come out from it. Mario tries to throw his shoe at it, but the shoe decided on its own free will to run off.
"MAMMA-MIA!" Sir Booington was worried.
"Here we go again..." Boo Diddy added.
"Here what goes again?" Regular Boo asked.
"The disco station changed their format to classic rock!" Boo Diddy said. He was not happy, as disco was the only thing he had left.
Regular Boo did not see what the roller disco is about. "So what?"
"This is a roller DISCO!" Boo Diddy shouted. "And a disco plays DISCO music!"
Sir Booington was minding his own buisness, but soon came up with an idea. "How about we buy some disco CD's from artists like AΔBA?"
"That ain't a real band! It's called ABBA, and they're a real band that plays music that this author or authoress likes."