Chapter 5

I didn't see him from year to year, but I felt him. I carried him in my heart and for some strange reason, I had confidence that he felt me, carried me too. He was my Jack. I was his Sally.

After our time in the woods, I went home with open eyes seeing the actions of caring and even at times love from my aunt and uncle, even if the words remained unspoken. They tried. I tried. Sometimes that was enough.

This morning began another May 8th. Aunt Renee was making pancakes for the occasion, my favorite. As I dressed, the homespun smell wafted up the stairs and enveloped me. It was the closest thing to 'I care 'I would ever get from Aunt Renee.

When we pull up to the curb of the cemetery, I hopped out quickly. I held no guilt for the fact that I was running to Edward and not my parents. They were not there, never had been. But if he followed the pattern of the past couple of years, Edward had been here. After our confrontation in the woods three years ago, not a year went by that he didn't make his presence known, reminding me that I was remembered by someone.

Today, fresh bouquets of spring flowers lay on each grave. As she had last year and the year before, Aunt Renee complained at the waste of cut flowers left by strangers when they would just be thrown away in a few days. And as he had before, Uncle Charlie proposed we bring them home. "After all, they would want Bella to enjoy them."

I had found that Edward cleverly concealed little presents in the bouquets each year. The first time it was a Blink 182, I Miss You jacket cover keyring and a scroll of the lyrics, which I had framed and placed over my desk so I saw them every day.

Last year there was a flash drive tucked down in the foliage. When I raced home and plugged it into my computer, I found a nine-minute video about the farthest reaches of space and the most distant galaxy our technology could capture. At the end, a highly magnified image appeared where the heavenly bodies were no more than blurs of light. One was circled and an arrow pointed to a blank space to left of the circled mass. Under that image was the quote 'Second star to the right and straight on 'til morning, 'from J. M. Barrie's Peter Pan.

I picked up this year's bouquets and hugged them to my chest as Aunt Renee and Uncle Charlie paid their respects.

Without unwrapping them, I tried discretely to look for the hidden surprises. I had just given up and shifted the bouquets into the crux of my arm when a glint of metal flashed with the movement. I looked closer only to find a bracelet wrapped around one of the stalks. I held back a squeal and swayed from foot to foot waiting for them to finish.

At home, I rushed the bouquets up to my room under the guise of needing my book bag. I opened the arrangement and disentangle the bracelet. It was yellow gold and there were three hanging charms, a star, a swing and a little square charm with IMU in raised lettering.

I slipped it into my backpack and when I settled into my seat on the bus, I clipped it onto my wrist, enjoying how it jangled softly.

I smiled and held it up to the window's light. I decided I'd wear it to the dance tonight, the Forks Middle School Spring Dance. There had been dances in seventh and eighth grade, but I was not allowed to attend. Ninth grade brought a change; I could go in a group if Uncle Charlie drove.

This last dance of my Jr. High career had me begging Uncle Charlie for permission to have a date. Mike Newton had asked me to go with him and I really, really wanted to. His lazy smile and sandy hair that swept across his brow, his broad shoulders, and funny charm had me sighing and writing his name in hearts in the margins of my class notes.

I knew not to ask Aunt Renee; she felt all boys were dogs and not to be trusted. Uncle Charlie saw how desperately important this was to me and made concessions. He called Mike's parents and made arrangements. They would take us and we would be picked up by Charlie.

He had blushed and patted my arm when I hugged him with ecstatic gratitude.

"That's enough of that, girl," he said awkwardly.

After school, I was a tangle of nerves. Aunt Renee made me eat a snack and then after a shower tackled the curling of my hair with the taciturn effort she applied to all chores. When she was done, she smiled briefly through the mirror as she stood behind me and decided to pat my shoulder briefly.

"Come down to dinner in a half hour," she mumbled and was gone.

After dinner, I slipped into my dress. It was white with flowers and spaghetti straps. I slipped on my bracelet and a necklace of flowers that complimented the dress, and made my way down the stairs. Uncle Charlie and Mike were standing in the foyer at the foot of the stairs. They looked up as I descended. I basked in the open admiration the two men showed me.

I blushed and Uncle Charlie cleared his throat saying he had to get a picture for Aunt Renee, who was at her weekly choir practice. I scooted near Mike, who was so handsome and felt his warm hand rest ever so carefully on the small of my back.

We smiled. We promised to have a good time but not too good a time. We made our way to the waiting car where I tried to control my nerves as Mrs. Newton asked a million questions in the rear view mirror and Mike's clammy hand held mine in the back seat.

All the gang was there. Angela came with Ben, and Eric brought a girl named Emily from the Quileute Indian Reservation. Our football teams were rivals and Eric made the group promise to make her feel welcome. She was pretty and seemed sweet. I smiled as Mike pulled out a chair for me and she smiled shyly back as Mike sat down next to me throwing his arm behind me.

Jessica had bragged all week about bringing a boy from Forks High, but they hadn't arrived yet.

As a new song began, Eric and Emily stood to dance and Mike raised his brows in an invitation and I nodded. He led me to the dance floor and I threw my arms around his neck as he placed his hands on my hips. He rocked us back and forth in a circular pattern.

As he steered me to face the stacked bleachers, he was there in the shadowed corner. I pulled back from Mike in astonishment, but he laughed and pulled me closer. I relaxed back into Mike's arms and held Edward's eyes. He was in jeans and a black sweater and his face held a bittersweet smile. I mirrored his smile. Glad he was here, wishing I could dance with him and feeling strange about dancing with Mike in front of him. I wiggled a hand over Mike's shoulder causing my bracelet to jangle and he lifted one finger and crooked it in greeting just as Mike turned me toward the refreshment table.

"You're so pretty tonight, Bella. I'm the luckiest guy here," Mike said as he smiled down at me. His hands were really damp now and I had a strong desire to wipe my hands on my dress, but I smiled up at him as he lowered his head and placed his lips softly on mine.

My eyes flew open wide with surprise and as he pulled back, he looked quite victorious. As the music ended he asked if I wanted a drink and led me to our group's table. As he went to get our cokes, I looked around but saw no sign of Edward.

I focused on my friends for the rest of the evening and although I danced only with Mike and sat by him, I realized that going to dances as friends seemed nicer. Mike was all kinds of handsome and sweet, but the kiss showed me we would only be friends. I hoped good friends.

As the night came to an end, Mike held my hand in the back of Uncle Charlie's Cop car and when I got home, I climbed the stairs tired and happy. I flipped the light on, closed the door, and changed for bed. I put on a T-shirt and brushed my hair out smiling at the memories of the night.

Sitting cross-legged on the bed, I pulled my journal out from under my mattress and opened it to add the night's memories.

My breath caught.

Under my last entry, a heavy, masculine hand had scrawled

You were a vision of exceptional beauty tonight. –E

I closed and hugged the notebook to my breast, laying down, and shutting off the light.

~Edward~

Tonight was the turning point for me.

Seeing Bella in another's arms, seeing her lips touched by his hit me with a devastating force. I had wondered through the years what relationship we would develop; friend, mentor, protector, guide. And tonight, as I watched the young woman she was becoming being held by that wretched young man pressing his advantage, I knew for me the relationship could only be one thing.

—Lover.