Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or any characters of the story
Title: How to Be a Woman
Chapter 2: What doesn't kill me only makes me stronger
She closed the doors behind her and smiled. Facing the dark hallway, she walked fast in the direction of the stairs to get down and join the party. The soft carpets on the floor and heavily carved wooden walls made this place looking like some private passage to a secret word; it was so quiet and official—looking, and at the same time seemed cozy; as if the hallway was a separate part of the house where no noise and no interference from outside were ever allowed.
She walked and thought of the look at Sesshomaru's face. Well, if you looked at the dictionary, you will be REALLY pissed, she smirked. Serves you right, jerk.
She walked feeling strong and powerful in some way; this brief moment of patronizing an ostentatious demon gave her some weird feeling of satisfaction and self—content. Swinging her hips lightly, like in dance, she smiled and shook her head, I am so childish… she thought, but still, the surprised view on the youkai's face was priceless.
Still in the quiet hallway, heading towards the main part of the house, she noticed a strange noise from the library that she just left; What the hell? Are those pipes?
Then she realized: This was not a sound old pipe system, it was more like… a growl. A growl of a youkai. An angry one too, she thought. An angry growling youkai? Shit, an angry Sesshomaru? Well, she thought, I'll better…
Before she could finish her thought, she saw an eruption of light, and she found herself back in the dark library. Not fully realizing what just happened, she opened her eyes widely trying to adjust to the warm darkness of the room. Then she saw him. He stood a few feet from her, breathing heavily, looking her in the eyes.
"Who do you think you are, human?" he hissed still staring at her. She looked around, a dictionary, still opened at the infamous definition, laid discarded on the floor.
"Is this about the dictionary?" Sango wasn't sure; after all, Sesshomaru's reactions were not necessary predictable. But when she mentioned the dictionary, his eyes narrowed lightly. "You attacked me physically because I made fun of you?" Her chin was high up now, her face angry and challenging. Nobody ever assaults me this way. Ever.
But when he took a step closer, and she could see his face better, she was not sure any more if challenging a demon would be such a good idea. Ooo, no good, Sango…
His eyes looked as if they were bleeding, the crimson overtaking each reminder of the gold. She took a step back, her voice suddenly weaker and less angry: "Let me go, Sesshomaru."
"You are not my prisoner, human." His expression didn't change, and Sango took another step towards door. "Yet, you are my guest, aren't you?" With one swift move, he blocked the only mean of her escape. She looked at him blankly. Should I fight him? This was ridiculous. I can't fight a youkai—we are not living in a wild forest in the Edo period; we are a pair of adults in twenty—first century Tokyo, she reasoned. Besides, I am wearing heals. I can't fight anyone in heals, she decided and thought about another way of the situation.
This time, she took a step closer towards him. Now, they were only inches apart, and she could see every detail of his face. His stunning eyes were still on her face, and Sango almost took a step back; he was terrifying and inhuman. And so beautiful…Her mouth went dry, but she forced herself to calm down in front of the regal demon.
"Look, Sesshomaru, we should stop act like children. Lets come down and start over."
"Why?" his face was still and blank, only his crimson eyes gave away his emotions.
"Why?" she almost couldn't believe, "Why not?" there was darkness in her eyes as she continued; she tilted her head looking at the silent youkai "And if not, then tell me what do you want to do next? Stare at me with anger for the rest of the evening?" She kept her face clam, but really, she was irritated. His face didn't change; again, a blank look was his only answer.
"You know what, bite me, youkai." She said this again and slowly turned on her heal, away from him.
"I could do more, human." A voice from behind her hissed into her ear. Startled, she turned her head only to meet his face.
"What do you..." her voice failed her, as the demon came closer and sniffed her neck lightly. A tingling sensation awoke somewhere in her body, arousing with each beat of her pulse. She wanted to move away from him, but instead, she only squeezed the book in her hand and waited for his next move. Oh, god, what is happening to me? Just step away form him, Sango…but she didn't, instead, she closed her eyes and focused on a feeling he evoked…he kept his face close to her, lightly touching her with his nose while breathing in her skin.
And his breath on her skin, nothing more, was enough to make her shiver.
He stood in front of Sango; his arms slowly circling space around her, as if he didn't wanted to touch her but only to capture the air around her body. He smiled to himself as his youki caressed lightly the edges of her aura; it was so pure and unusually strong… his demonic energy slowly wrapped around her, he almost felt as her energy vibrated at his each touch…
When he brought her back to the library, he just wanted to give her a small lesson , but now, it was going a little bit too far… He knew that he might be sorry for his lack of control later, but in this moment, he didn't care. Now, with her, he was enjoying himself too much to stop. He grinned closing his eyes. He allowed his youki to overtake the senses, just to enjoy the moment a little longer.
Her aura was something he has never seen before, a crystal pure strength that vibrated gently against his youki; it fascinated and almost hypnotized his senses. As if the resonance of the two energies was his calling him into a new sate of pleasure…
He stepped a little closer to Sango and touched her lips with his fingertips; they were soft and inviting. He could feel his own mouth watering with a growing hunger for the girl.
He sniffed her; an fascinating mixture of her jasmine perfumes and her slight fear, spiced up with faint aroma of feminine arousal; With each breath his youki was getting stronger, and his reason giving up, intoxicated with her scent.
If this is what just breathing her does to this Sesshomaru, what will happen if she touches me?
When he thought about that night on the next morning, he could recall that this was the last conscious thought of his mind, after that, after he reached for her skin, the reason stepped down. The only what was left was his instincts, her body, her voice, and the night. Nothing else mattered, therefore, nothing else existed.
ooOoo
She felt him. But not the way she felt his breath, something else, something new reached her senses, a funny feeling that emerged somewhere on the edge of her consciousness. It reminded her of a sunrays playing on her skin; as if not inflicted by a physical force, but still perceived by her senses…so strange… She felt it more and more; it grew stronger within her like a vibration, like sound…what is that?
She opened her eyes to look at him and gasped…His eyes were absolutely red now, and his deadly pale skin almost glowed in the light of the moon. His expression was sharp and feral... On his face, the maroon markings darkened, making him look almost unreal. Like an animal or a beast, a creature of instinct and passion, like ….a demon…
A shiver wend down her spine. Nobody, ever in her life, made her feel this way. She felt so feminine and sexy …Weak and delicate in the face of unbound strength.
She reached for his face and followed slowly the contours of his markings with her finger; She saw him closing his eyes as she touched his face; as she cupped his face in her hand, he tilted lightly his head and pressed rubbing delicately against her palm. They were both quiet; connected only by the touch, but something utterly intimate and sensual began to grow between them…She smiled and he purred softly.…
With an inpatient move, his arms encircled her waist, pressing her to his body, feeling her. Moving one hand over the nape of her neck, he kept her still, indulging in the feeling of the women in his arms; she was perfect. He felt her, his demon desired her, he would have her. Pressing harder, he stroked her with his hips rhythmically.
"I want you." She heard a husky voice and trembled. She brought her face closer to his, and licked lightly his lips. Take me.
Unhurriedly, he took off her top, gaining an access to her breasts. With is moist tongue, he lapped the sensitive skin of her neck, nipping on her skin and kissing. Sango bite her bottom lip to quiet herself from loud moans. Her hands buried in his silver hear kept him close to her, pressing him now to her chest. He growled with untamed pleasure; caressing her soft skin, he took her nipple to his mouth, sucking it gently while rubbing her other breast with is hand. Oh gods…
Pinning her to a wall, he raised her skirt up to her waist and with a swift move of his claws freed her from her underwear. Kissing her neck, he lifted one of her legs pressing his length against her. A sharp feeling of arousal went through her, a strong pulsing sensation grew within her womanhood; she felt a heat in between her tights…something pushed her to him, like a physical need for his touch, a desire of his body and …and something else, but what?
Feeling her excitement, he purred quietly into her ear. "You are already mine, Sango…" She felt his claws on her inner thigh, climbing slowly towards her; with one leg around his hips, and the back pressed to the wall, Sango breathed heavily. She almost screamed as she felt his fingers lightly stroking on the edges of her folds; Take me. Panting, with her face buried in his neck, she felt him massaging her womanhood, drawing perfect circles around her moist opening. First deliberately slowly, his clawed fingers increased the tempo. This time, she almost screamed, pulling him stronger to her. Take me. He just growled louder. My bitch…
With his fingers buried her womanhood, he kept on rubbing her rhythmically with one hand, while unzipped his pants with the other. Now, Sango…
She looked at his manhood and gasped. He was large, hard, and ready. With both hands, he lifted her hips, and Sango enclosed him with her legs, locking her ankles behind his back.
He looked in her eyes and kissed hard her swollen lips. Now. He entered her harshly, shoving her in the wall, and she cried loudly. "Shh, Sango, shhh…" he stopped for a moment to quiet her down and kissed her again. This time, as he thrust into her, he kept his lips on hers, invading her with his tongue. Sango. He kept moving in her, entering her with full force. Something, a feeling stronger than anything before overtook her. With each his move, a great wave of pleasure went through her abdomen. "Faster" she whispered into his mouth, and hold on stronger to him.
The world became a blur, nothing existed. Only the pleasure, only their sweaty skin, shaking bodies, mouth, the heat of their bodies. The orgasm swept them both at the same time, leaving them breathless and panting. Still buried inside her, Sesshomaru rested his head in her breasts. Never in his life he desired anyone as much as her; never anybody made him lost control…up to now.
The senses slowly came beck to her. Her heart beat loudly, gradually slowing down. She breather deeply, as if the night air could soothe her heated body. She still felt his member inside of her body. His hair covered his face. Slowly moving her hand to his face, she moved the silver strands aside and looked at his face.
His eyes were half—closed as he breathed, tired but so serene… "Sesshomaru…" He smiled gently at her. Bringing his face to hers, he lightly kissed her lips. When she kissed him back, he only purred pressing her harder to him and then licked her neck. "Sango…" he looked at her.
Her eyes were half—closed and her face still flushed, passion still written on her face.
Who was she?
ooOoo
He shifted and pulled away. He didn't hold her any longer, didn't kiss her skin any more, just walked away not looking at her. She felt a sudden cold on her skin, and a strange feeling of emptiness overtook her senses. She looked at her half—naked body and felt uneasy. Her skirt was still wrapped around her waist, her other garments long gone; uneasy, she pulled down her skirt and looked around the floor for her top.
It was so strange, to realize what they have done. So awkward and uncomfortable... He made a love to a human; a human he has never met before, an arrogant little bitch, no less. He looked from the corners of his eyes as she tried to cover her nakedness, hiding her skin form his view. He wasn't sure what to do; it was a funny feeling, he usually liked to control any situation, but now, with her, he was lost.
If I was to hold her now, I couldn't let her go. The demonic instinct forced him to take her, to make her his. What the hell? He barely knew that human, there was no way that he would give up to stupid instincts of his demon. He stood still, blankly observing the human. He felt that his demon pushes him to embrace her, hold in his arms and perhaps take her again. Strange, how his demon was attracted to her…But on the other side, he didn't now if he wanted any later consequences of being with her; what would she expect of him after that night? Would she demand his care and commitment? He thought trying to ignore the growing instinct within him; His demon was growing impatient. He kept observing her, as she, uncomfortable and suddenly so fragile, looked at him almost ready to leave.
Why is he acting like this? Just moments ago he was holding me and whispering my name, and now he looks at me with such a coldness…She felt like crying. She wanted someone to hold her, to pat on her hair an tell her that everything was good; She wanted him to smile at her the way he did when they made love… But he only stared at her, blank and unreadable, as if only waiting for her to leave his home.
So this is it, she thought straitening her back, this is how you become a woman. Passion and rejection; two parts of an equation that simply cancelled each other out… Maybe this is exactly how it should be.
A girl, who doesn't have a childhood, should never try to feel like a woman.
Because even if she tries, there will be always something to cancel her happiness out, to leave her hanging in between existence and death. Everything will just bring her back to the emptiness she grew already accustomed to, her life.
He looked at her, something in her just changed, as if she made some decision, some choice; He narrowed his eyes, and trying to understand what just happened, focused on her energy. Her aura only grew stronger, like a crystallized light, like a shield surrounding her form. His demon roared; She was rejecting him, separating herself from any possible influence of his youki, she unconsciously guarded herself against him. She was ready to leave.
"Do you have to go?" His own voice surprised him. He didn't realize how much he wanted her to stay, to hold her and destroy the barrier she put against him. He waited for her answer tensed. She looked at him slightly startled.
"Do you want me to stay?"
Yes. He kept staring at her intensely. I want you to stay. He leaned against the desk, with his hands on the edge of the desktop. You are to be mine. His demon screamed. Sesshomaru stay silent.
She stood there, waiting for him to do something. Say anything.
"Yes, I have to go." She avoided his gaze and waked slowly towards the doors. He observed as she opened them and disappeared in the dark hallway. He could still hear her soft steps… He took a deep breath. No. No feral instinct is forcing this Sesshomaru to do anything. "Enough." He hissed at himself. "This was only an onna."
He had to stop this madness; he forced himself to stood up and calm down.
He picked up his clothing from the floor and dressed carefully. Arranging his expression back into the blank cold mask, he left the library. Enough, now.
ooOoo
Sango thought of him. He made her scream his name; he made her desire his sex like nothing before. And then, his indifference, the awkward silence when she tried to find her clothing, the cold silence when she left the room; In one minute all her dignity crashed, her small happiness of being with a man died in one second. A death of happiness, she thought with sarcasm. After all, death was nothing new in her life…After all, what doesn't kill me only makes me stronger…She smiled at the old quote; it seemed almost ironic …
She walked down the street. She wanted to catch a cab, but the dark streets were empty and cold. She walked on. A vague feeling of soreness between her tights felt strangely pleasing…
She didn't want anyone to talk to her now. She was slightly confused; tired but at he same time awaken and excited; satisfied and hurt; sore but energetic…
She walked, self conscious of her body, of how her hips move with each of her steps, of the sound of her sandals on the stone pavement of the street.
No, she thought, I am a woman. This thought almost surprised her. I feel and desire, I fulfill and give…I am a woman… No, the emptiness within her was not denying her womanhood.
It was defining her as a woman. She stood at the sudden thought.
It was growing in her, as awareness of who she was.
And a woman she finally became.
She walked on.
FIN
ooOoo
A/N: So, how do you like it?