Chapter 10

As Mike continued his run, laughing, I collapsed onto the bench with a huff.

"I—I don't think I'm ready to share you. I mean, I just found out last year that other people can see you. How am I…."

"Who?"

"Um, the librarian,"

"Oh, yeah, she winked at me," he said.

"How am I supposed to explain you? I feel like—Oh God, I don't feel so good," I groaned as I began rocking.

Edward dropped next to me. "Shhh, Bella, look at me. May I touch you?"

Memories of our first meeting flooded through me. The mixture of feelings they evoked stirred my stomach further, but I nodded.

Edward put his arm around me, and I leaned my head on his shoulder as his hand skimmed over me. Unlike the molten butterflies his earlier touch evoked, this touch was comforting and soothing.

Finding the cause in my stomach, he spread his warm hand over my midriff and lingered as a low hum radiated out from him. My anxiety ebbed, leaving me limp and floating.

He removed his hand and took mine placing it on his knee.

"Edward?"

'Hmm?"

"What are we going to do?"

"Bella, we're fine. This is fine. Trust me," Edward said softly, "Mike handed us the perfect cover story. We will rehearse it and stay physically connected through the night, ensuring your serenity. I'll protect you, Bella." He lifted my hand to his lips.

The 'I always have' floated in the air between us.

"Bella?" he said softly.

"Hmm?"

"I really liked the implications of your three questions."

I felt him grin against my hand.

I pulled my hand away and put space between us. How could he tease? So much was closing in on me—us. I felt stretched tight and vibrating.

He stood holding his hand out to me and smiled when I took it.

With our hands entangled, we walked with no destination, only the thrill of being fully together. Occasionally a jogger would press past us as we ambled, and from time to time, he would lift our joined hands to his lips.

"Bella, your questions—why did you pick those three out of all the ones roiling in your mind?"

I stopped walking and took two steps back to lean against a tree trunk. Edward reclaimed my hand and waited.

I looked at the stick rolling under my shoe and shrugged. "I guess—I feel like—well," I sighed, "I guess I needed to define the foundation of our future. Because I want you in my life for my whole life, Edward," I said, squeezing his hand, "however that is defined. I'll take what I can get." I kicked the stick away and pulled my hand free.

He didn't reclaim it, but I could feel the concern radiated from him.

"I want you in my life as well, Bella." He took a step toward me.

Encouraged, I continued, "So, I needed to know if a life-long romantic relationship was even on the table—because that's the relationship that would be my first choice," I smiled, feeling foolish but past caring.

"A forever love," he whispered.

I nodded. When silence began to wedge itself between us, I looked up into glassy eyes full of frustrated fear.

Alarm shot through me as Edward began shaking his head, sending tears coursing down his cheeks.

He swallowed thickly, "You stand there wanting me to fill in all the blanks, but you don't realize all the answers come from you."

"I—I don't understand."

He let out a heavy sigh, "I know."

Silence lay thick between us.

"Bella, before we talk further and you run away from the impossibility of it all, may I ask for one kiss—to remember?"

His voice shook, and his hand was colder than I'd ever felt as I pulled him toward me.

"Yes, please," I whispered, terrified of the 'goodbye' implied in his words.

I felt his relief as he stepped toward me. He placed his hand on my hip, slowly slid it around to the small of my back, and pulled me flush against his chest. Pinning me to him, he lifted my face to his with the warm palm of his other hand. Our eyes locked and—

My God—

His love was a tangible thing filling the air around us. It flowed from his eyes bathing me in its glow. I stood cloaked in it.

"You love me!" I gasped.

Found out, he smiled shyly, "—with all of my being."

"Can you feel me too?" I asked in awe.

He wrapped his arms around me and turned us so that his back was against the tree, and I stood between his legs, encased in his arms.

I played with the button on his shirt pocket as he spoke.

"When I am with you, most intensely. You are like a beacon. I can find you anywhere. But at home, I must go to the grove and spend much time in meditation to see or feel you, to sense you. When you leave me, it's as if my soul has been severed," he let out a ragged breath.

"Edward," I whispered, running my palms up his chest, "kiss me."

His eyes shot up to mine, and 'pow!' there it was. We shared a knowing smile as he lowered his mouth to mine.

His low moan vibrated through me as his warm lips connected with mine and began moving with tender urgency. He tightened his grip and angled to deepen the kiss. Summer warmth surrounded me, and the smell of fresh-cut grass wafted in the air.

The taste of his breath was intoxicating, and the only thought in my head was: 'Oh, gah, yes, Yes, YES!'

He fisted my shirt at the small of my back and pulled me against his chest as his tongue danced along my lower lip.

I whimpered as my knees buckled. He was sitting on the ground before I could open my eyes, leaning against the tree with me on his lap.

He held me fast with one hand on my hip, the other at the nape of my neck, and kissed me one, two, three more times before pulling away and closing his eyes.

"Be still," he panted.

He placed his forehead against mine as we tried to catch our breath and calm the rush of our heated blood.

He pulled me closer, and I melted into him, cherishing his familiar heartbeat. He was from so far away, but he was holding me.

He was mine.

"Yours," he said, his lips brushing my forehead. And I felt the wave of awed pride echo back to me.

"Yours," I agreed.

We sat wrapped around each other, wearing silly, satisfied grins, for what seemed hours against that tree. We didn't kiss again, but there was a current of emotion flowing between us, an unspoken conversation.

As I looked back, I realized we'd always had this connection between us, this ability to feel each other. Edward had always kept a distance, trying not to insinuate himself into my life, but it had always been there.

"Bella, let's walk back to the bench."

He took my hand, standing and looking down at me.

He was so beautiful,

Untouched by time,

Unaffected by this world,

I loved him with every fiber of my being.

He smiled down shyly at me, receiving my love.

"Edward?"

Hmm?"

"I won't be running," I said as I took his hand and led him back up the path.

~o0o~

"Perhaps if you started with questions," he suggested as we cuddled on the bench.

"Okay," I thought for a moment, and a weight fell on me causing him to sit up and look in my eyes, "I was supposed to die that night, wasn't I?"

He swallowed and nodded, "Yes, there would have been three deaths that night."

"But you intervened, was that wrong? Did we somehow cheat death?"

He ran his hand over mine and shook his head as I talked. "No, no, I believe this was meant to be, Bella." He squeezed my hand and looked at them as he spoke, "The council summoned me at your birth. All three agreed that they received the impression of my connection to you. They felt that the portal opening between our worlds after so many centuries was significant, but they didn't know what it meant. They left it up to me whether I made use of the open portal, but they cautioned me to make minimal impact on your world. That scared me, so over the next five years, I chose to spend the day at the grove watching you, making sure you were well, but I had no intention of ever making contact."

"But my mother forced your hand," I smiled and kissed the hand resting on top of mine.

"Yes, when her cry of intercession on your behalf rang through the portal, I was in your forest before my next breath."

"How does the traveling work? No space ships, I'm guessing."

He smiled and ran a finger down my cheek, "No, it's more of a doorway that requires alignment."

"It's been closed?"

He nodded, "For many centuries. There was a time when your world was new, and we came and went freely. But a time came when only a few could access the portal, and finally, no one could pass. The council fasted and prayed, but it was concluded by the three that it was permanently closed to protect our culture, and we had to accept it. There was civil unrest for a time, some in our world had family in yours, but nothing could be done." Edward found himself playing with her bracelet but stopped, putting his hands in his lap.

"But now it's open?"

He shook his head, "Now it is open for me alone to pass. Not even the council can approach."

"So that's—big," I said, sitting back from its enormity.

He sat back too, "No one understands it, but yes, it is of profound importance."

"So this is bigger than you and me," I stated.

He looked at me with pride, "You're so smart. I didn't grasp that until the last turning. I returned to speak with Carlisle. He said the council was in disagreement, but he felt that our two worlds are in peril, and the Great One has deemed that help to come through our connection."

"Who is Carlisle?"

"He is . . ." he hesitated for a moment gathering his thoughts. "Carlisle is one of the three holy men of the council. He is my mentor, my father, my brother, and my friend."

"He's important to you?"

He nodded.

"You trust his discernment?"

He nodded and kissed my hand, his lips soft and warm against my skin, "Yes."

"Then I will trust him too." I smiled. He smiled back.

I felt the draw and scooted closer. Edward pulled me into him, and I rested my head on his warm shoulder.

"What is your world like, Edward?"

Laced with contentment, I felt his happy pride wash over me before he spoke.

"Home. We do not have large cities, wars, or diseases. Ours is an agrarian society, and as best we can, we live peaceably and with order. Our world is slightly smaller than your Earth, and we have a much smaller population."

"What do you call your home planet?"

"Esgar," he said softly.

"Escar?"

He tightened his arm around me. "Listen, ES-gar," he says slowly. "It's a hard 'g,' Esgar."

"ES-gar."

"There you go," he said, kissing my temple.

"Can I travel to your world?" I asked as my heart skipped a beat.

I saw his eyes close as he struggled to gain control before he spoke.

"You would want this, Little One?" he whispered.

Feeling slightly out of my depth, I answered carefully.

"Yes, you know my world. I'd love to see where you live, whom you love," I shrugged at the last, not sure what Edward wanted to hear.

"Visit—of course—um, I do not know if the portal is open for you. But if you could come home with me, you would not be able to return for a year. That's a long time for one such as yourself, my little one." I felt his hope melt into resignation as he spoke.

"You would w—want me to stay longer?" I asked as my heart raced.

He lowered his head to my shoulder, "I'm afraid to speak my desires, little one, afraid of influencing you to your detriment. I love you, yes, Bella, but I don't want you with me if it harms you." His voice cracked, silencing him.

I took a moment to absorb what he was saying. He understood more than I did, but I was 'chosen,' by his account, and my opinion was important too.

"I—I think I have decisions to make, Edward; decisions that will make a difference for you and me and possibly matter to our worlds. Am I right?" I ran my hand down his cheek.

He lifted his eyes to mine. "Yes, and I'm terrified for us, for you, my sweet Bella."

I swallowed my fear. "—then you need to help me make an informed decision. Edward, you are the only one I trust, who knows me, loves me, and I need your honesty to help me find my way." I looked at him, pleading for his understanding.

He nodded, swallowed thickly, and slid off the bench onto the ground in front of me.

He took my hands before saying, "This is what I dream of when I lay in my bedding gazing at the stars you have never seen. I dream of you lying beside me, with our little ones nearby. I dream of rolling to you in the night and you welcoming me into you. I dream of you staying with me always, hand-fast bound. I dream of you, long for you, burn for you, Bella. For all of eternity, I-just-want-you."

"Hand-fast bound?"

He ran a finger down my cheek and over my collarbone. "That is when we are joined; two souls into one by the Great One. We live as one, and when the time comes, we die as one, for we cannot be severed."

With that, he laid his head on my lap. Stunned, I absently ran my finger through his soft hair. I could feel the power of his longing and the wave of despair that threatened to sweep it away.

"Is this a dream that can be lived on Earth?" I asked softly, knowing the answer.

Silence lay heavy between us before he whispered, "No, my love, I cannot live here."

I lift his head to see the truth. He had shadows under his eyes that weren't there hours ago. His skin was paler, and his touch cooler.

"How long?"

"How long can I stay?"

I nodded.

"I don't believe much longer than twenty-four hours before I fall too sick to return home."

I kissed his eyes, cheeks, nose, and lips, "I don't want you ill. I will go with you."

"Bella . . ."

"No, Edward, I need to be with you for longer than we have. I need answers, and I—I need you."

He stared at me, and his silence enveloped us.

But I knew the truth. I did die that night in the forest, and the girl who remained was already 'hand-fast bound' to Edward.

I kissed his lips and whispered against them, "Don't be afraid, Starboy. I want this too."