A/N As I said with Moondoggie and Sweets' group, thank you for waiting patiently as I walked my mama home and worked on recapturing my life beyond hers. You are a kind and gracious audience. *sigh* Now, let's peek in on Bella and her Starboy.
Chapter 11
He stood frozen at the threshold of my dorm room.
"This is your room?" Edward asked.
"Yeah, come on in." I threw over my shoulder.
"And men are allowed in your room?"
"Yes," I said turning to see the hesitation on his face, "Edward?"
"Who has been in this room—with you?" His brows drew together as his gaze lock on me.
A prickle of anger hit me. "Come in. I'm not having this conversation in the hallway."
He stepped cautiously into the room and closed the door behind him, leaning against it.
"Edward, come, sit down," I laughed and motioned to the bed.
He hesitated and sat carefully on the desk chair.
"Edward, you've been in my room back home. Why is this so strange for you?"
He thought for a moment. "This isn't your space alone, but Angela's as well." I nodded, and he continued, "We weren't so open with our intentions before."
A thrill shot through me, and I felt the flush on my neck. "True, but what else?" I asked and cocked a brow as he hesitated.
His eyes shot to my bed, my pillow and then away from me. He moved to the window where I watched him grip the window sill.
"Edward?"
"I know in your world; physical intimacy does not always correlate with heart commitment. Tell me truthfully, Bella. We haven't spoken—there was no understanding between us—I have no right to ask. . ."
I thought of playing with him but couldn't bring myself to be cruel.
"Edward, there has only, ever, been room in my heart—and bed—for you." I shrugged. "My heart was just waiting for the rest of me to catch up," I said softly.
He hung his head and slowly turned from the window. I patted the bed, and he came to me.
We sat with our thighs and shoulders touching for a quiet moment before I reached over and wove my fingers with his, resting them on his thigh.
As we sat there, I felt the love swell between us and expand to envelop us.
"I'm sorry, Bella," he said as he wiggled my pinky finger and ran his thumb over my nail. "Pretty color," he whispered to himself.
I smiled at his distraction and nudged him with my shoulder. "It's okay . . ."
"No," he cut in, "it's not. I have no right to have you give an account of the life I was refusing to be a part of," he said as he ran my knuckles against his cheek.
I watched him curiously. It was an odd, non-human gesture as if he was studying the feel of me.
A surge of want rushed through me, and he halted his movements. "Bella?" he whispered.
I scooted back and stretched out on the bed drawing him with me. He came willingly and laid his head on my pillow. I turned to face him, and he mirrored me. With our hands entwined we fell into each other's gaze. His eyes were the clearest emerald green, and I felt drawn into him, giving and taking wordlessly all we had held back through the years.
The room fell away and Edward held me is a warm, limitless space. I looked into his very soul and found myself there. Time ceased and when we finally came back the shadows of the room had slanted to an afternoon angle.
He brought my hands to his lips and kissed each finger.
I watched him and whispered, "I love you." The words seemed an unnecessary recapping of what we had just shared.
His lips spread against my knuckles. "I feel that quite clearly, thank you, my Little One," and we shared a secret smile.
He was here. We loved each other. This would work—somehow.
Slowly I came back to my senses, and with a jolt, time began again.
The shadows under his eyes had darkened. We needed to get serious if we were going to meet the gang in a few hours and if I was going to go with him. My heart skipped a beat and raced.
"We don't need to rush this, love. Take another year and we will revisit this idea of you traveling." He said the words as if they were scripted, but I could feel the longing and ache they generated.
I sat up and once again he followed. "Edward, there is so much we don't know, and I don't understand. This step needs to be taken sooner rather than later. It scares me but thrills me too." I kissed his hand. "I don't want to be separated anymore. A year will tell us a lot."
He looked out the window at fluffy clouds floating in a blue sky. "So it's time." He said.
I followed his view, thinking of the unknown beyond the calming blue and white. "It's time," I echoed.
He squeezed my hand and stood with purpose.
"Okay, up with us. We need to make plans."
I smiled and let him pull me off the bed.
He wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed my forehead and as I lifted my face to him, he gently pressed his lips to mine, warm and sure. He broke the kiss and pulled me to rest against his chest, and I found comfort in his strangely ticking heart. It was like an old friend I remembered from a dream—a little girl, cold and alone, and a beautiful boy who found her. I smiled and kissed over his heart.
My beautiful Starboy.
He cleared his throat, and I pulled back catching a watery shimmer in his eye as he turned to take a seat at the desk.
"Down to business, Miss Swan," he said sternly before the corner of his mouth quirked upward.
"Yes, sir," I said and pulled a chair next to his as he opened my laptop.
~Edward~
I watched her write letter after letter to her Aunt and Uncle with the utmost care and attention to the details of a fabricated year of life in a remote rainforest basecamp. When her hand grew weary, I took over, forging her handwriting with ease.
My Bella was determined to leave with me tonight, to spin a romantic story of outreach to indigenous people with her Peace Corp boyfriend for the benefit of her family and friends.
She was so brave—my Little One.
Aro showed me the historical records of when we had traveled freely to the Earth. There were only a handful of accounts of humans traversing the divide to come to Esgar.
I worried for Bella, how it would affect her. I feared for how she would be received. There were those on Esgar who opposed the notion of the portal and the weakness in our defenses that it posed.
She drew my eyes back to her as she wound her hair into a bun and stuck a pencil in to hold it. She was so beautiful. She had always been a pretty little thing; smart, funny, but now she took my breath away.
Watching her, feeling her from across the room—I could never walk away from my most beloved. There were times I felt overwhelmed by the enormity of the situation, but when something is this big you can't just opt out. She is my forever-bound, and I know that I am hers. So—we press forward—together.
~o0o~
She click-clacked next to me in her high heels, and I shortened my stride for her.
She squeezed my hand. "Tell me again."
I grinned and squeezed back. "No."
"Edward, if we don't practice, we'll slip up," she said in a panic.
I stopped and turned her to me, taking her by the shoulders.
"Stop, love, we are ready for this. We stay close to the truth, starting in New York. I am sure of this, Bella." I looked into her deep round eyes. I could happily drown in their depths.
She smiled and took a deep breath. "Okay, we can do this."
I kissed her. "We really can."
I turned us to the pub entrance and took a deep breath of my own.
~o0o~
McGee's was an Irish neighborhood pub. It had pool tables and dart boards along one wall, with a long, old-fashioned bar running the length of the other, and a small stage to the side.
We found Bella's friends huddled at a table near the back, a wall of curious animosity.
I was an interloper and a threat, and my sweet Little One was a deceiver on trial for her sins. I wanted to wrap myself around Bella and disappear. She was vibrating next to me, and I couldn't take the time to absorb her fears into myself.
I placed my hand on the small of her back and willed a calm to surge through her. Feeling the warmth flow up my arm, I sighed with relief as she turned and gave me a reassuring smile.
"It's about time; we've been waiting," Mike called with his arms crossed over his chest.
"Oh get off it! You just got here, Mike," Angela said as Ben laughed beside her.
Angela stood and gave Bella a hug while I smiled at her over-the-shoulder scrutiny.
Bella pulled back and recaptured my hand with a squeeze. "Guys, this is Edward Cullen, my—um—boyfriend. Edward this is Ben and Angela, and Mike you've already met." Her voice was sweet and light but strained. I ran my thumb over her knuckles, and she took a breath.
Ben held his hand out for me to shake and Mike pulled out a chair and dropped into it, leaning back against the wall.
I found Angela and Ben curious but open and felt they were willing to hold back judgment for Bella's sake. Mike was a first rate ass.
We all sat, and I picked up a menu, asking what was good. That got the conversation going in a comfortable direction. We talked about generalities while we got our drinks and ordered. The three across from us watched every move I made. While Angela watched me, measuring my movements and speech, Mike watched Bella like a hawk. Ben watched both of us trying for the big picture of how we worked together. Ben, I liked, Mike I despised, and Angela I feared.
"Well, so how did you two meet?" Angela asked.
I sat back, throwing a casual arm behind Bella's chair and let her take the lead. They needed to hear this from their friend.
Bella leaned toward me as she tucked her hair behind her ear. "Well, we met on the hotel elevator when I went to get ice." She waited for Angela to remember before continuing. "He told me he was there with his madrigal group and we compared notes and—um—exchanged numbers." Her voice faded, and she looked to me.
"She was so cute in her yoga pants and her Fleetwood Mac 'Rumors' T-shirt," I smiled in remembrance as Angela and Bella looked at me in surprise.
"That was her mother's T-shirt. Her Uncle Charlie gave it to her for the trip," Angela said in an awed voice.
I looked at Bella. "You never told me that."
She dropped her eyes to her hand resting on her glass. I reached over and took it in my own, and she took a cleansing breath. I squeezed her hand. "It was a very thoughtful gift from Charlie." She nodded, and I added, "And it fit you like a glove."
Bella gasped, and Angela snorted a laugh that brought on Ben's.
I leaned back, and Bella's body followed me finding her niche against my side. I kissed her temple and took a sip of my drink. It was a dark ale, and the background flavors haunted me as I swallowed.
The food came, and everyone busied themselves with eating. I pushed my food around my plate knowing this wasn't going to bode well for me. Bella's smile faltered as she watched me take a bite, forcing myself to chew and swallow. I shot her a reassuring smile, and she linked her arm through mine before turning back to her food.
When everyone had settled into their meal, Angela shared a look with Bella and picked up where we had left off. "Why didn't you tell me when you came back to the room?"
Bella shrugged, "I wanted to keep it to myself. Nothing was going to come from it."
I feigned hurt. "Thanks."
She smiled shyly. "Well—you know."
Angela held Bella's eyes and smiled. "Well, she was completely worthless on the trip home. Off in her own little world with a wistful grin plastered to her face."
I sat forward to look at Bella. "Aww, really? My roommate said I was a sap." I shared.
"I missed you all the way home," she said with conviction.
I lowered my voice and said, "I missed you too."
She looked up into my eyes, and I pulled her toward me and kissed her reverently—my beautiful Little One.
Our bubble burst with Ben's dramatic 'Aww,' which ended with a laugh when Angela backhanded his chest.
I took that moment to push some of my food off my plate and onto the napkin spread on my lap.
Mike sat back in his seat. "I think I just threw up in my mouth," and then leaned forward with purpose. "So, what, you've just been pen pals all this time?"
Noting Bella's hurt look at Mike's tone, I fielded this one. "We talked on the phone almost every night. I'd call to tuck her in each night." Angela sighed at that, and I continued, "We Facetimed at least once a week, and I have flown out to Forks more than once to spend time with her."
Mike looked at Bella. "So your Uncle and Aunt have met him," he said in challenge.
I leaned forward insinuating myself between Bella and Mike. "No, after the loss of her parents, Bella has a very private, self-contained life. I respect and support her needs." I turned to Bella hoping I hadn't exposed her.
She smiled a watery smile and said, "Exactly, thank you."
I leaned in to let her kiss me, and relief washed over us as our lips met. I pulled her into my side and took another sip of the wretched ale as Mike glared at me.
Ben stepped in. "Dude, that had to be rough for what, three years?"
"Yeah, it was, but it was worth it," Bella said and smiled at me.
"Totally," I added.
"So you're here, what happens now?" Ben asked.
Bella squeezed my hand, "Well, we've been talking about this for a while. Edward has this great opportunity in the Peace Corp to work in South America with indigenous people of the rainforest." She took a deep breath and continued, "And I'm going with him."
"What!?" Three voices blared over the noise of the room.
"What the fuck, Bella? You don't even know this guy," Mike spat.
Bella shook her head, "Not true, Mike. You don't know him. I know him as if I breathe his breath." Her voice shook, but she held firm.
"Ah, bullshit."
"Mike!" Angela said.
He threw himself back in his seat and glared death at me.
Angela studied her dearest friend and finally asked, "Are you sure, B?"
Bella sighed and leaned toward her friend. "Angela, I am completely sure. I want this opportunity to be in the same place and finally, live with him." She looked from Angela to Ben and added tenderly, "Like what you and Ben have."
I watched the warm words of longing settle over the couple. They understood.
Mike leaned forward and took Bella's hand. "You're making a mistake, Bella." He said with pleading in his voice.
She enclosed his hands with hers, "Thank you for caring, Mike. You're my true friend, but I love him and need to be with him. I need to do this."
"Don't—Bella—it won't turn out well." He shook his head looking pained.
She patted his hand resting on hers. "It already has, Mike. It's going to continue to be all right."
Angela shot Mike a sour look as he slowly withdrew from Bella and sat back. She took in Bella's concerned frown and grabbed her hand, pulling her out of her seat and away from me. "Come on girl, let's hit the stage."
Ben leaned into me. "They've been singing on open mic nights since we found the place." He slapped my back, and I mirrored his proud adoration as I followed his gaze to the humble stage tucked in the corner.
Bella and Angela sang two folk songs with such a tight harmony my heart seized at the beauty. After a round of applause, Angela returned to the table and Ben's embrace as Bella began to sway to the musicians' soft intro of an Irish ballad. Bella's gentle voice rang out over the room, stilling it, capturing the crowd with her words. Understanding the gravity of the night for Bella, for us, my heart swelled at her lyrics.
Oh please ne'er forget me though waves now lie o'er me
I was once young and pretty, and my spirit ran free
But destiny tore me from country and loved ones
And from the new land I was never to see.
A poor emigrant's daughter too frightened to know
I was leaving forever the land of my soul
Amid struggle and fear my parents did pray
To place courage to leave o'er the longing to stay.
They spoke of a new land far away 'cross the sea
And of peace and good fortune for my brothers and me
So we parted from townland with much weeping and pain
'Kissed the loved ones and the friends we would ne'er see again.
The vessel was crowded with disquieted folk
The escape from past hardship sustaining their hope
But as the last glimpse of Ireland faded into the mist
Each one fought back tears and felt strangely alone.
Oh please ne'er forget me though waves now lie o'er me
I was once young and pretty, and my spirit ran free
But destiny tore me from country and loved ones
And from the new land I was never to see. *
There was a moment of dead silence after the last note before the room erupted in applause. When she made her way back to the table, I wrapped her in my arms, kissing her neck and moving my mouth to her ear.
"My stars—are you sure you want to do this, my Little One?"
She wrapped her arms tighter around my waist. "Yes—yes, it needs to be now."
I leaned back and looked into the determined, sparkling eyes of my forever-bound and nodded. I kissed my Bella, hugging her again and over her shoulder faced a resigned Mike Newton.
He gave me a nod before walking away toward the bar.
Not long after that, we made our goodbyes of hugs and handshakes with Ben and Angela. Mike waved to us from the bar, and Bella, knowing the importance of the night, left me to hug Mike and leave him on loving terms.
We made our way back to the dorm, wrapped around each other. Once in the room, we dropped all pretenses and clung to each other.
"Are you sure, Bella?" I whispered with my heart in my throat.
Her slender hand slid slowly up and down my back, comforting me. "Yes, Edward, I'm terrified, but I am sure," she said with just a tiny waver to her voice.
I pulled back, and brushing her chestnut hair from her face, I captured her face with my hands and pulled her to me. Her lips, so sweet, danced delicately with mine.
She was so strong and brave, just as she was so long ago in that dark forest. And at that moment, I thanked the Great One who aligned my stars that night so that I might meet the most precious person in many universes.
We broke our kiss, and wrapped around each other, we stood, sharing comfort and love.
~o0o~
Angela stood in the doorway watching their tender moment. Narrowing her dark eyes at the liars in love, she stepped in and closed the door. Turning, she gave a clap. "Okay, now that we sold the masses, let's get down to what's really going on with you two."
~o0o~
*An Emigrant Daughter~A poem/ballad written to honor the memory of Margaret Huston, a young Irish ancestor who died and was buried at sea during her family's emigration voyage from County Tyrone, Ireland, to Canada in 1842.
Lyrics and musical adaptation: Barry Taylor, 1998. Tune: The Grenadier and the Lady (Trad).)
A/N Liars in Love by white-lemons was the first non-canon fanfic I ever read. It kicked the door open for me, so I gave it a little homage in the last paragraph.
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