Author's Note: The following contains elements from the works of Mario Puzo and most especially J.K. Rowling. Please, please Read, Review and Enjoy. Se gap lai nhe.

Chapter V

The Wedding

Life took on a distinctively rosy appearance in the days and weeks after Frank's 1st successful bounty. Since then, Frank and his compatriots had been involved in many other skirmishes with the agents of the Dark Lord of Voldemortshire. However, despite the ongoing war, no one had seen the treacherous Thomas Riddle II since the advent of the War. A sense of tranquility descended over the wizarding world as the Dark Lord was nowhere to be seen. And so it was that Frank was to be found eating a romantic meal with Alice Prewitt one evening six months after his "Baptism by fire" into the shadowy realm of mercenaries.

"By golly Alice, this blood pudding is excellent!" Exclaimed Frank as he drained his goblet of rum. Evidently all of the time he spent with Dung was starting to wear off on him.

"Aye, it is good. Thank you kindly, Mr. Longbottom." The happy couple then proceeded to go thru several more courses at dinner. By the end of it, Frank had had a lot to drink. Too much, if truth be told. He leaned over the table and kissed Alice passionately, but was interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Who could be calling at this time of night?" Alice inquired as she went to open the door.

Meanwhile…

"Oh no, this is bad," thought Regulus Black. He had just come from playing a game of poker in the back room of the Riddle House. While there, he played against Mulciber and Amicus Carrow, both of whom were completely intoxicated. After the game ended in a grand victory—50,000 galleons—for Regulus who was smart enough to remain sober—Carrow and Mulciber both began making toasts over more alcohol. 1st went to Regulus, "the greatest rumm—hic—y player in the world"; next went to rummy, "a bloody brilliant game"; and finally to the Dark Lord's attempt to kill Frank Longbottom. Regulus' blood ran cold at those words. He ran from the room and began fiddling with his coin, hoping and praying that it would work in time.

Meanwhile…

"Oh, my 'ed is 'urting like mad," moaned Mundungus Fletcher as he bent over a bucket near his cot.

"Well, my friend, you shouldn't have drunk so much earlier," said Barty Crouch, unphased by the sound of a gush of vomit hitting the bucket. "What you need is a change of scenery. Perhaps you should go to Scotland and drink some—"

"Firewhiskey."

"Not what I was thinking. No, Scotland has too many distilleries. You'd never make it. You need some coffee. Aargh." Barty felt a searing pain in his left pant's pocket. It felt as if something was burning into his flesh. "The medallion!" Dung looked up over the foul smelling bucket, a look of horror appeared on his already green tinged features. It made him look sicker than he actually was.

"What is it, m'boy? What's happened?"

"The Dark Lord is going to kill Frank. We have no time to lose." Barty cast a sobering charm on Dung, who looked suddenly disgruntled.

"For Pete's sake, why didn't ye do that earlier, ye great coot!" With that last cheerful remark, they apparated to Frank's flat.

At Frank's Flat…

Alice opened the door to the flat and screamed. Standing in the doorway was a tall, gaunt man with waxy, white skin. His slit-like nostrils dilated as is he savoured the scent of her fear.

"Well, aren't you going to invite me in?" The Earl of Voldemortshire inquired sneeringly. The sight of the Dark Lord seemed to sober up Frank better than a whole pot of hot, black coffee.

"Get out of my house, you creepy freak!" With that he rushed to the door and slammed the door shut in Voldemort's face.

"How rude. Now really, I want to make you an offer you can't refuse. Join me, and together we can rule over the world. Just the two of us. Pureblood gentlemen purging the rest and restoring peace and order to the world."

"I refuse. Anyway, you're not a pureblood. You're just some jumped up half-blooded trollop! Now leave or else."

"Why is it that I, a lowly villain, have better manners than you do? Hmm. Very well. Then I'll have to kill you. I didn't want to do it, but you left me no choice." Voldemort blasted the door off its hinges. The force of the explosion knocked Frank over. Alice ran into the next room to get her wand, which she had left in her purse. The Dark Lord followed her, licking his lips and looking disgusting as is his wont.

"Here's Tommy!" shouted the psychopathic Earl. Suddenly, a loud bang resonated across the room and the Dark Lord faltered. Blood spurted from the region around his gut. He turned around to see Frank Longbottom holding a now smoking sawed-off shotgun. Frank fired again, hitting Voldemort in his wand arm. The Dark Lord could not fight off the onslaught quickly or efficiently enough.

"This isn't over, Frank Longbottom. You may have won this battle but know you this: I eat bounty hunters with my breakfast. I crush mercenaries with my smallest fingers. I stomp gunslingers off this Earth. This time, you have won. Next time, I will bury you!" With one bout of hatred, he apparated to the Riddle House where he would regroup.

"Oh, Frank," Alice cried out. " I was so worried he would kill you."

"No, he won't kill me. It'll take more than some hair-brained halfblooded, murderously perverse psychopath to kill me. He wouldn't have killed you either."

"But how can you know?" whimpered Alice, who was still in shock.

"Because I love you, and I will never let anything happen to you."
"I love you too, Frank. Let's get married now, before anything else happens."

"A bit forward aren't you. A good idea none the less, though." The happy couple began to kiss again, when a knock came from outside the door again.

"You know, we'll never finish at this rate," Frank said. Alice chuckled nervously.

"Who is it?"

"Frank, m'boy. You're in terrible danger." Mundungus Fletcher's raspy voice came though the door.

"Dung, is that you?"

"No, it's the tooth fairy. 'oo'ed you thing it was?"

"Never mind. Go fetch the Fat Friar immediately.

A short while later, Dung returned with the Fat Friar, Barty Crouch Jr, Regulus Black, and Amos Diggory in tow.

"What do you need, my good yeoman?" inquired the Friar.

"We wish to be married, immediately," Frank said.

"Why?"

"We have just been thru quite an ordeal with our friend Riddle, and that has shown us how very much we mean to each other. Now will you please, my good Friar, or will I have to go elsewhere?"

"Fine, I shall. Dearly beloved…"

Later on…

After a short ceremony held in front of only Frank's associates, the Spectral Friar, and God himself, Alice was now Mrs. Frank Longbottom. Those in attendance toasted their happiness and good health, though Dung was not allowed anywhere near the rum, just in case. Then, Mr. Diggory pulled out a sack of galleons for them to use for a honeymoon in Bucharest. After what seemed like forever, the makeshift reception ended and Frank and Alice were alone on their first night of marriage.

"Now where were we," said Frank, but before he could finish, Alice began to kiss him in what would be the first night of a happy marriage.