Title: Goodbye
Author: Jane Delight
Warnings: slash.
Disclaimer: Anything you recognize does not belong to me.
Summary: SBRL slash. How Remus and Harry coped with Sirius' death.
Goodbye
Tears streamed unhindered down his face. A sob escaped his mouth, followed by another, and another. He had lost the one thing important to him, and now he was lost.
Lost in the emotions, the turmoil inside him, and the gigantic gap in his life left by his lover. The agony, the pure raw pain, rolled of him in waves, covering up the feelings of hopelessness and loneliness, lying at the heart of the sea of emotions.
He let out something resembling a howl of pain, and sunk down onto the bed.
Their bed.
The one where they had spent many nights making passionate love, or just lying in each other's arms, breathing in the scent of their partner. The same bed his mate had nursed him back to health in after the full moon. The same bed where he'd comforted his mate after one of his many nightmares, vowing to never leave his side again.
But no more.
Now, all that was left was the barest hint of his scent, teasing him, making him want more. Like a lifeboat drifting farther and farther away from the one in need of help.
Drowning.
Drowning in emotions, overcome by grief, the only thing he could think of was of what he'd lost.
An almost physically painful yearning pored forth from his heart. Telling his brain, his body - commanding it – to return to his lover's warm embrace. But he could not, for his lover's body held no more warmth.
After what seemed like an eternity, his sobs subsided, and he drifted into an uneasy sleep.
SBSBSBSBSB
The cold, harsh wind crashed against his body and he shivered, but could not bring himself to care all that much. His eyes were filled with tears, though he fought against them with all his might. His grief was nearly palpable in the air, and as he placed the flowers picked from his aunt's garden in front of the gravestone, silent tears streamed down his face.
He felt a hand descend onto his shoulder, but did not turn. After a few minutes in which he'd stared unseeingly at the gravestone, he closed his eyes and turned around. When he reopened them, emerald eyes met soft brown ones, both filled with unshed tears.
Hesitating for just a few seconds, he stepped closer and hugged the older man, giving his support, and receiving the same in return.
A short while later they separated and turned to leave the cold air, intend of replacing it with the warmth of the old, depressing house a few steps away.
SBSBSBSBSB
They watched their friend with identical worried expressions. He had changed. Withdrawn into himself, speaking less and thinking more. In their company at least. For at least an hour every day he'd go and visit Professor Lupin, alone. They didn't know what they did together, but for a short time after he returned from these meetings, their friend was approachable, and often apologized for spending so little time with them. But they didn't mind, as long as he was happy.
Now though, he was sitting by the window, staring at the snow covered grounds with unfocused eyes, absently petting his owl. The warmth of the common room fire didn't seem to reach him, and so most people kept away from him, afraid of disturbing him. The few who did approach him only garnered absent, one word responses.
They didn't know what to do. Both had felt grief, more from watching the young man cope with the loss of someone he regarded as a father, than anything else. They'd barely known the man. Something which would not ever change.
They had each other now. Maybe that was part of the reason their friend had all but abandoned them, they were too absorbed in one another and their newfound love. Something which hopefully would not change – their love, that is. They just hoped that they would survive the war intact, so that they could start a family of their own.
They turned away from the lonely figure sitting by the window and snuggled closer together. Basking in the warmth of the fire, they started to talk about insignificant things, just enjoying their closeness.
SBSBSBSBSB
Time passed, seasons changed, years went by. The pain, the grief and the loss subsided to a bearable level, no longer stopping the ones affected from enjoying their life. He just wished that he was down there enjoying life with them. But one couldn't have everything. So instead, he settled on knowing that the two people who he'd cared most for were slowly regaining their happiness, helping each other through the good times and the bad.
The war had finally ended, the light side having been victorious.
Now, all the survivors could focus on rebuilding the peaceful world that had once existed. Without him.
But he didn't mind. Maybe it was selfish, but he enjoyed the tranquillity of death. Yes, he missed his lover, and the boy, no, man, he regarded as his son, but he knew that he'd see them again in the future. Though he hoped for them that it wasn't in the near future, for he wished them to enjoy life in a way which he'd never been able to. To enjoy the freedom they had fought for the past years, which he had died fighting for.
He was content.
Content and extremely grateful for the fact that the two most important people who'd been in his life hadn't forgotten him. Every year, on the anniversary of his death, they'd go down to his gravestone, in the backyard behind his childhood home (which had finally been redecorated), and spend some time apart from the world, just remembering him.
RIP Sirius Orion Black. Forever in our hearts.