It's a Duckblur
By Sharan McQuack, Launchpad's wife.
This story resembles the "Ducktales" episode "Time Teasers".
"Time Teasers" resembles that episode of the "Twilight Zone", "A Kind of Stopwatch", where a man finds a stopwatch that stops time.
Plagiarism is essential to all culture.
Don't be surprised if, in a future story, I have Duckblur joining the "Justice Ducks" Come to think of it, Superhero husband/ wife teams are fairly common: Hawkman and Hawkgirl, Bulletman and Bulletgirl...
We open at the Bean Factory where Fenton Crackshell once worked as a Bean Counter and where his girlfriend (1) Gandra Dee still works as a secretary/receptionist.
"I can't believe they are removing the old Time Clock" Gandra said, as the repairmen prepared to rip it out of the wall.
"Well, with computers, who uses time clocks any more? Computers are faster and cheaper and you have to put the payroll records on computer sooner or later." repairman said.
"Still, it seems a shame to throw it away. The clock works just fine." Gandra said.
"Here. I got the clock out, whole. If you like it, why not use it?" he asked.
"Actually, that's a good idea. My old clock loses time on me. And we were just going to toss it, otherwise." Gandra said.
Gandra was sort of reminding him the clock belonged to the company SHE works for. So he couldn't give it to her.
"Well, take it, then" repairman said, annoyed at her for being smarter than she looks.
Now, inanimate objects can feel gratitude- or can they? Ever notice they like attention? That they break down just so you'll pay attention to them? So that you'll touch them? That they almost have personality, sometimes? Why else do we name ships and planes, sometimes?
When Gandra Dee picked up the clock she got a little shock. Now, the clock was metal and she had walked on a carpet before touching the clock.
"Whoops! Static electricity!" she said.
Because that's what she THOUGHT it was. Maybe it was. Maybe she was a latent mutant whose power was "awakened" by the sudden shock. Or maybe not.
Anyway, the repairman finished the job and left. Then Gandra closed up and left. But she missed her bus. she decided to run to the subway stop, hoping to still get home in time to catch her favorite TV show. BUT...when she ran, the next thing she knew, she was home already. Which was very interesting.
Gandra did a little experimenting and found she did not exactly have super-speed. She could freeze- or slow down to a crawl- time for everybody else except herself. This amounted to superspeed. All they saw of her was a blur.
SO...after some thought about what she could do with this ability, she decided on the oblivious: she would don a silly costume, call herself by a stupid name and become a superhero. It was either that or waste the ability and she deployed waste.
The next day, bright and early, the Beagle Boys watched the Money Bin. Scuttlebutt had it that Mr. McDuck was transferring some money out of the Bin. Seems that some of his money is old and rare and is worth more than face value- a LOT more- to collectors of rare money.
One such collector offered so much money for old and rare money that Mr. McDuck decided to sell it. So, the money was due to by transferred into one of the money-transfer planes. Gizmoduck was on guard and Launchpad was keeping his eyes open, too. So was Mr. McDuck.
The Beagles were watching thru high-powered binoculars from a safe distance, till the time was right. Then an "innocent" ice cream truck "minding it's own business" parked up hill from the runway near the Money Bin. As Our Heroes prepared to load the money onto the plane, the Beagle Boys released a truckload of ice cubes down the hill.
Our Heroes were soon "swimming" in a "lake" of ice cubes! Giz tried to fly out via his helmet copter, the Beagles shot off it's blades. Launchpad tried to get to the plane, was hampered by the fact he's a klutz (2). Good thing, too. The Beagles shot holes in the fuel tanks of his plane and I can't guarantee those blasted Beagles wouldn't of shot my Launchpad if, God forbid, he had been in the way.
"Ok, Listen up, ya big lugs! We has got the drop on you. Give us the money- and nobody better follow us." Big Time said.
Big Time put down the ordinary gun and withdrew a different, strange looking gun.
"And we won't have to use this here flame-gun to set the spilt fuel on fire!" Big Time said, using the Bad Grammar only a bad guy can get away with using. (3)
Mr. McDuck was about to reluctantly order Gizmoduck and Launchpad to hand over the money- getting barbequed was not high on his list of "things to do today" And there was the possibility the fuel might explode rather than burn, a possibility Mr. McDuck preferred not to think about.
THEN- a yellow and white blur appeared. I wish I could post a picture of Duckblur on this thing, I can draw pretty good. It probably wouldn't look much like Gandra, but it would look like a lady super hero duck.
All anybody could see of her was a blur. But the next thing they knew, the Beagles were tied up for the cops.
"Who?" Giz sputtered.
"Call me- Duckblur" she said (4)
"That - that was a girl's voice!" Launchpad pointed out.
"That's right! She was moving too fast to tell, wasn't she? But it was a woman's voice, all right. " Mr. McDuck said.
As we leave "the boys" to clean up the mess, we cut into Duckblur who is highly pleased with herself. Gandra Dee may not exactly be Dr. Sara Bellum, but she's not stupid. She is, however, treated like she is "supposed" to be stupid because she's beautiful. Don't ask ME what one thing has to do with the other. And her first "go" as a superhero worked better than she had hoped. It wasn't often she had a chance to use her brain.
"That was fun! I'm going to do that again!" Duckblur/Gandra said.
The next day came. Gizmoduck was on duty in front of the Money Bin. He knew the Beagles would try AGAIN, very soon and was keeping his eyes open. Launchpad and the boys were playing "touch" football on a grassy hill near the Money Bin.
"Boy, the field sure is muddy today." Dewey said.
"Well, what do you want? About 2 tons of ice cubes got dumped on it yesterday." Louie said.
"Guess Gizmoduck had to put it someplace while the fuel oil was being cleaned up and Launchpad's plane got fixed." Huey added.
"And by then, all the ice had melted. Just hope it wasn't TOO much water all at once..." Launchpad began.
THEN, the hill started to move...
"I was afraid of this! Mudslide!" Launchpad said.
And indeed, the hill had turned into mud and was sliding down towards the Money Bin.
"This is fun!" Huey said.
"Not for long, it won't be!" Launchpad said.
Then Huey saw, for the first time, a wave of mud and rocks BEHIDE him, heading TOWARDS him!
"I don't get it... It wasn't anywhere this muddy when we started playing!" Launchpad said.
And indeed, it had not been that muddy before. The Beagle Boys saw how muddy the hill was and knew from their Brothers in jail that Gizmoduck had dumped a whole lot of ice there. They were pumping a LOT of water, underground, towards the already muddy hill. Until they triggered the mudslide they were hoping for: one aimed right at Gizmoduck. Giz was greatly regretting being too tired, after cleaning up the mess, to bother fixing his helmet copter.
Not that it really mattered, the Beagle Boys could of shot him down again IF Duckblur didn't interfere. Which she did.
Launchpad and the boys had managed to "swim" to the top of the mud and they were fine. But Giz was up to his neck in mud. He had been so busy looking for the Beagles, he had not noticed the mudslide till it was too late. And the g-suit made him too heavy to "swim", especially thru mud. (5)
Launchpad and the boys were trying to dig Gizmoduck out when she arrived. Since she was just a yellow and white blur and they were kind of busy, they did not notice her at first.
"Forget about me! Stop the Beagles!" Giz said.
"Maybe I can help you do both!" a voice out of nowhere said.
"Duckblur?" asked Giz seeing the yellow and white blur.
"You have to stop the Beagles! I can't- I can't press any of my buttons! I can't move my arms, they're buried in mud! You don't have time to rescue me and stop the Beagles and I can wait!" Giz said.
"Time..." Duckblur muttered "I'm going to try something." she said.
Then... all of the sudden, they could SEE her. A yellow and white clad female duck, in a facemask.
She started to dig Giz out.
"Never mind me! The Beagles are...just standing there? Perfectly still, like statues?" said Gizmoduck.
Giz finally noticed the Beagles were not moving.
"I've frozen time for everybody else but us. I didn't know I could DO that for anybody else but me, but apparently I can." Duckblur said.
Duckblur, Launchpad and the boys dug Giz out. then Duckblur unfroze Time. Then more and more Beagles arrived. They spread out all over the Money Bin.
"My gadgets won't work! My suit is clogged with mud! Duckblur- can you stop the Beagles? I can't stop all of them, with my suit not working."Giz asked.
" I can try." she replied.
So Duckblur tried to freeze the Beagles in Time. At first, she thought she had done it. Then-
"Duckblur- stop! Unfreeze the Beagles, something's wrong!" Launchpad said.
Duckblur was about to argue with him when she saw what he meant: the Beagles were not perfectly frozen. There were too many Beagles, spread out across the vast Money Bin, trying to break in by various means. Duckblur had tried to freeze too large an area. The Beagles were moving jerkily like mis-wound clockwork toys.
Then, Giz remembered he had a net in his helmet- and that he had been buried only up to his NECK in mud. The net might still work. He kicked off the unicycle, for it too was clogged with mud, and walked towards the Beagles. Giz netted the Beagles and Duckblur unfroze them.
"I better not try to freeze so large an area again. Lord know what I did to these Beagles." Duckblur said.
Duckblur found out. Those Beagles were forever out of sync with Time. They were always late for everything. This meant they could no longer be crooks, criminal activity requires timing. A slow crook is a caught crook. This batch of Beagles, much to their shame and chagrin, were forced to go straight. They were given watches that ran fast so they could show up for work on time, but they could never manage the type of timing that criminal activity requires.
When Duckblur heard about this, she wondered if she ought to try that again or not, and quickly decided against it. Messing with Time like that could be dangerous, the results probably depended on how big an area, how many Beagles, Lord know what else. Trying it again could open a can a worms she might not be able to close.
The End.
(1) There's no accounting for taste. Although Fenton is a Decent Joe.
(2)Love you anyway, dear.
(3) I watched the "Little Mermaid" TV show and liked that "the best thing of all, is ya uses bad grammar" song. "You can steal, you can rob, so you don't need a job in the lobster mobster's mob..."
(4)Sound travels a LOT slower than light. That's how come they could understand her even if they couldn't see her.
(5)Mud is heavier than water.