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I hope you are all healthy in this crazy, difficult covid period. If you aren't I wish you much strenght and health and I hope my story will help a bit with keeping your mind off awful things!

Chapter 12

Beach shack, morning, very early

"Camille." Richard uttered in a surprise and happy voice. He was glad that he'd already changed into his suit. She was very early. Usually he would still be in his pajamas. He hadn't been able to sleep because he couldn't stop thinking of Camille. He analysed everything he had said, she had said, they had done, Kris had said. "You're very early."

"I was just... I went to your shack yesterday but you weren't there. Maman and Kris said that you came by, so we must have passed each other somehow. I thought we should talk privately."

"Yes. Er... Yes." Richard straightened himself.

"I'm still angry." Camille told him as she turned her back and took a few steps towards the porch railing.

"Yes er... Well..." He didn't know what to say to that. He nodded. But she couldn't see that. He felt clumsy, the way he stood in his shack. He managed to move his feet and force his body outside towards the veranda now too. He walked towards the chair in the porch corner and sat down. His body ached and it made him aware of how tired he still was. That's what sleepless nights did to you, he guessed. "What part exactly are you angry about?" Richard questioned as he looked up at her. He heard the waves lapping the shore and it wasn't too hot yet. At least one thing that started well this morning. Maybe he should have offered her some coffee? Might that help to make this easier?

Camille sighed out loud as she looked at him from her place against the railing. "Nothing."

He raised his eyebrows.

She straightened herself. "Let's find a way to get through this tomorrow."

He stood up. Nothing? Yes right! He wasn't good at reading someone but even he knew that 'nothing' wasn't the truth. "I'm sorry if I angered you... Or insulted you..." He took a few steps towards her. "It wasn't my meaning. I would never want to hurt you." Richard admitted quietly.

Camille sighed softly at that as her eyes flew over his face. But he did. He had hurt her, immensely. But it was his opinion, it were his feelings. And if that was the way he felt about her, then who was she to decide something else for him? He was his own person. "Thanks. It's okay." She nodded and stepped to stand in front of him. "Tell me sir... If you want to go on with this, what can I do to make you feel more at ease?"

Sir? Great. Was this one of her behaviors where she would explode unexpectedly later today? Or tomorrow? "No it's not just you. It's me who has to change." Richard shook his head as he glanced away. "Look Camille.. I know that the whole touching thing is-" He wanted to talk, and he was talking but his mind suddenly thought different about the word 'touching' and he just froze. "I meant-" He tried to block the images of her out. Images of her touching him flooded his brain. "I didn't mean with touching. I just meant-"

She raised her eyebrows at him. Giving him a look as if he was crazy.

"With the- That you are better with touching and such then I am... Is all I wanted to say." He managed to utter. His throat was dry. "I know that I need something to make it more convincing."He said as he turned away from her and leaned onto the balustrade. He looked at Harry. "It was never my meaning to make it difficult for you. Or to be- To be- A burden of some sort." Maybe he should have never taken this assignment on. He had felt so secure in his own job because he was good at it! And now... He wasn't good at it at all... And with her... What would she even think of him? She already knew that he was clumsy, stupid, an idiot even. To top that, she now knew how big his troubles were in the touching department. That made things even worse! He looked down in shame.

"Maybe if we talked about it. With your reservations, then we can find a way through it together." Camille offered sweetly as she studied his back. She couldn't see his face.

Richard cleared his throat and then nodded as he turned towards her again.

"Richard, I just want to help." Camille said softly as she put her hand on his arm.

"I'm having trouble with it because of you." He snapped as he jolted back as if she had just hit him.

"Why?" She asked as she felt pain coming up again in her chest. She pushed it down quickly. She didn't want to feel that.

Richard swallowed as he looked at her.

She shook her head. "Did I do something wrong? Do you find me so appalling that you can't even act like you are remotely attracted to me?!" Her voice sounded slightly hoarse. And her French accent began to mix up with the English words heavily.

"No of course not!" He snapped at her preposterous words.

"Then tell me, because I don't understand." She gestured wildly with her hands. She had felt compassion for him moments ago. And now she felt the heat of anger burning a way up through her upper body, coupled with raw pain. "And to be honest... I'm feeling a bit insulted here... I know that you probably have other tastes in women."

"-I don't want you close because-" Richard stopped abruptly.

Camille let her arms drop to her sides in defeat. They needed to get this job done. Whether they wanted to or not. She thought of Kris's words. To be patient with him. To give him space. She inhaled deeply. "Tell me please. You can talk to me." She said ever so sweetly.

"I'm afraid that I... You..." For what it would do to me if I ever step over that line. What my body would do and want. What will happen if I can't stop myself, can't control myself. I'll ruin everything.

'Tell me." She prodded as she clenched her teeth. Ow! How she wanted to shake it out of him! How long could he take?! Just spit it out already!

"Don't touch me." Richard warned as a caring hand was coming his way. "I just can't concentrate with you so close, pretending to be..." He gestured towards her. "To be my lover. It's unnerving."

Camille swallowed. She crossed her arms in front of her chest and leaned with her back against the railing. "Then why the pushing me away yesterday when we were on the terrace practicing?"

"I wasn't pushing you away." Richard swallowed. His throat felt thick now. "I never said... You just heard.. And then you started about my sex drive..." He clenched his teeth.

Her hand went through her hair in frustration. "I didn't mean to insult you…" She looked at him now. "I just thought that you…"

"What?"

Camille shrugged. She felt shy all of a sudden. "Weren't attracted to me." She didn't dare to look at him. But she did. "You acted like you were appalled by even being close to me." She crossed her arms again, to protect herself.

"Don't be silly, I'm not appalled by you!"

Relief washed over her.

"I'm just not attracted to you." Richard lied. Maybe that would make things easier for him.

The flood of relief turned into hot lava that seemed to burn her insides through. Her breathing hitched in pain. She swallowed. Why did that hurt? Why was that?! She wondered annoyed at herself. Anger came up again. Mostly at herself. Why would she even care what this daft English idiotic man thought of her? She could have better. There were better men then him! More attractive men, more emotionally healthy men! "Okay, then that's clear. Great." Camille said as she pushed away the dull feeling in her chest and stomach. And the anger she felt rising up. Why didn't he think she was attractive?! She wasn't used to men not finding her attractive. Most men did find her attractive. Why didn't he? She never asked to be found attractive by other men. But this one man she wanted to find her attractive didn't. She could almost cry. Wasn't that ironic? Some stupid twist of fate?!

"Telling me I have no sex drive.." Richard muttered and complained.

She looked up at him from her thoughts. O yes, the sex drive. That had hit a chord. She wondered who he did find attractive. Well, she knew. She had seen the women he ogled. Anger filled her again. And jealousy. Had he ever had sex? Was he good in bed? Passionate? Or just clumsy? Just as clumsy as he was with his feelings. She would never find out, would she? But still, she felt guilty that she had blurted that out. She shouldn't have insulted him and his sex drive, if that even existed. "I didn't mean-"

"-Yes, you did. You just love pushing my buttons!" He snapped at her.

"It's not my fault that you don't know what to do with a woman!" She shouted. She was out of patience. Damn Kris with her patience exercise! And she also wanted to throw something. She gave Richard the vilest glare she could muster as she stalked away towards the Defender.

"What?!" She heard Richard bark as he came running after her.

She was through with him. Stupid man.

"What else?!" She snapped as she whirled around to face him. She was good at this. She was good at fighting. If he was so unattracted to her, she wouldn't hold back now!

"How dare you?!" Richard snapped as he passed her and slammed the door of the Defender shut as he got in.

Camille janked the door to the drivers seat open and closed it with so much power that the whole Defender rattled for a second. "You call that romantic?! Let me guess!" She snapped as she put the key in the ignition. "With a woman you ARE attracted to, you'd know exactly what to do? How to woo her!?" She barked as she looked over her shoulder to see if there was no other traffic.

"Well YOU will never find out!" Richard spat.

Camille huffed mockingly as she assaulted the gas pedal and they sped off at high speed.

"I hate to break the news to you, but I doubt that you even have one romantic bone in your body!" She snapped.

Police station

"I see how well it's going between the two of you." The Commissioner barked as his two officers came towards him shouting at each other since they left the Defender. They didn't even see him as they gestured wildly towards each other, snapping, arguing, bickering until they almost collided with him. Silence filled the air once the Detective Inspector and Detective Sergeant stopped their shouting match.

"Sir.." Richard began as he colored red instantly. That man had the uncanny talent to just materialize out of nothing. It almost scared him!

"We don't have another white male that fits the description yet for friday. But maybe we should blow this off until another agent can take your place?" The Commissioner asked as he gave both Camille and Richard a stern look. He turned around in the door opening and moved inside the station as he eyed Fidel and Dwayne. They stood neatly in front of Dwayne's desk. Awaiting what was going to happen next.

"Ahh well.." Richard couldn't bear the thought of another man having his hands on Camille, even if it was fake. "I think I'll manage."

"Then you two have to stop fighting immediately." The Commissioner spat annoyed as he turned towards them.

"Yes sir." They both answered in unison.

"Julia and Brad Shaw don't behave like that. They are a couple in love! Act like it." The Commissioner ordered.

Richard nodded.

"Can you?" The Commisioners eyes were on Richard.

"Yes sir... I think I... Yes." He avoided looking at Camille.

"You talk him through it and tell me if he can." The Commissioner told Camille as he studied her intensely.

Richard felt his face growing hot again. He looked at Dwayne and Fidel who were still standing there, like two statues, in front of Dwayne's desk. He wished that they weren't here to overhear their conversation.

"Yes sir." Camille said as she swallowed hard.

"So what is your problem if you're not attracted to me?" Camille asked when the Commissioner was out of earshot.

"Fidel? Dwayne? Don't you have work to do? At the market?" Richard asked sternly.

"O, er. .. Yes sir." Fidel said quickly as they left.

Richard sighed annoyed as he stalked towards his desk.

"Richard!" Camille snapped. It sounded like she was snapping angrily at a dog who wasn't listening, she knew that. "I'm not asking this for the fun of it!" She put her hands on her hips as she walked towards his desk. "I'm trying to find a way to get in sync so we do a good job tomorrow."

"It just brings up bad memories, that's all." He lied as he sank down on his chair.

"Okay, well if you're not appalled by me and not attracted by me then I see no problem." She studied him shortly. "You really want to do this?"

He nodded.

She walked towards him, twisted his chair towards her.

"What are you-" Richard muttered but his words died the moment she dropped herself into his lap. She put one arm lazily around his shoulder and leaned into him as she took her phone with her other hand from her back pocket.

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