Chapter 19

Step nineteen: It's too much

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

A/N: I can't begin to tell you just how excited I am for the Remake announcement!

This was just supposed to be an interlude, a bit of filler. Then I kept adding to it.

Poor poor Vincent, he has to monologue

Am I too mean to Zack?

Zack yawned with a mighty stretch and rolled back over dragging the covers with him, snuggling into its sweet warmth. The 'sun' wasn't even up yet, if you could see the sun from Midgar, and it was far too early to function. He'd spent most of the night hunting down a monster breakout on the 4th plate. It had been messy, nasty work and while monster hunts were his favorite, the aftermath was not in any way fun. It took forever to get the toxic gunk out of his hair. So, he was taking the morning off!

Zack burrowed deeper into the warmth of his bold red blanket…

Red…

He didn't have a red blanket.

Zack's eyes popped open completely and followed the trail of crimson fabric up to its source. The path led to golden claws, baleful eyes and metal shoes on his bed.

That he was sleeping in…

Naked…

"What the hell man!"

Vincent just tilted his head and continued to stare at him with a blank face. The demon was lounging against his headboard reading a book of all things as if sneaking into someone else's bed was the most normal thing in the world. Zack glanced down to see he was grasping the tattered ends of the man's cloak wrapped around him. With a shout, he threw it towards the demon man and scuttled backwards to the other end of his bed.

"What…HOW…What are you doing here?" Zack asked breathlessly as he held his bedding (he checked) to his chest like a maiden.

"Cloud's gone."

"What do you mean 'Cloud's gone'?" Zack asked.

"…"

"Well. Where did he go?" Zack tried again.

"…"

"WHY ARE YOU HERE?"

Vincent smoothly bookmarked his place and set it down on his nightstand as he stood up heading for the bedroom door. He paused at the threshold but didn't turn back around he just tilted his head slightly, catching Zack with the corner on one eye. In all his life Zack had never felt more like prey than he did in that moment. It reminded him of Sephiroth.

"Get dressed. We need to talk." Vincent ordered calmly then left him alone.

Zack stared at the open door in shock. His sheets bunched around him in a loose grip.

Did that just happen?

Zack quickly jumped out of bed and rushed to shut the door and lock it. He stumbled to his clean laundry basket to grab the first pair of boxers he could find. It was just his luck they were the pink silk ones with 'Loveless' stamped across the back. Well they were comfortable at least. Finding pants was easy as they were all basically the same and Zack snagged a pullover vest before heading for whatever waited him.

The demon was a friend of Cloud's but he still gave Zack the creeps. While a part of him wanted to know what he was doing here…and how he got in, another part (and it was a large one) just wanted the man to disappear entirely. There was something incredibly off about him and Zack wanted as little to do with him as possible.

Still…if Cloud was missing, he needed to find him and the demon might have some answers.

Vincent was leaning perfectly still against the wall in the only shadowy corner in the place when Zack entered his living room. It was an amazing feat that would have impressed Zack under normal circumstances. However, he wasn't over the embarrassment of cuddling the cape yet nor his outrage of having been watched in his sleep…nude.

Zack quickly and thoroughly scanned his room as he walked to the couch in the center. As he came around the edge however he saw one of his serving bowls near full of small broken bit of equipment sitting on his coffee table. He walked over to them and reached in to shift some through his fingers. Most were broken beyond repair but a few were intact enough for Zack to recognize what they were.

"What's all this?" Zack asked slightly dreading the answer and hoping he was wrong.

"Surveillance equipment."

Zack stared at the components in disgust. His earlier embarrassment all but forgotten as well as the demon's reason for being there in the first place. A deep sense of violation taking their places. If this is what he thought, it meant…

"Why is it in my home?" Zack's tone was hard.

Zack heard Vincent shift closer but he couldn't take his eyes off the bowl as a well of anger began to rise inside him. This was his home.

"Standard operating procedure is for all Soldiers to be monitored at all possible times. Both on duty and off. As part of Shinra's 'asset' protection and wellbeing initiative." Vincent's dry voice made it sound like it was a quote from some manual. For all he knew it probably was.

Zack clenched his teeth on the rage flowing through him. His whole body quivering with aggression. His muscles tightening with the need to lash out against anyone. To strike back at the ones who betrayed him. There were so many on that list and it kept growing longer. How many times was he supposed to be stabbed in the back and take it smiling?! How many more violations must he endure?!

"WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!" Zack shouted.

Vincent suddenly appeared in front of him. He gently but determinedly pushed Zack away from the table and guided him to his couch. He pushed Zack down and crouched in front of him. Zack sat forward to lash out only to be caught in Vincent's ruby gaze. He was frozen as those eyes suddenly flickered golden and burned into him. Slowly Zack felt himself relax back as wave after wave of calm flowed over him pushing everything else out of its path. He started to panic but even that was helpless against whatever it was the man was doing to him. It seemed to last forever until everything wrong with his world was drowned out. Only then did Vincent release him.

"What was that?" Zack finally asked when he was able to.

"Just something I can do." The demon answered as his eyes returned to normal.

Zack just nodded. It wasn't worth perusing. Not right now anyway, he didn't think he could if the demon put him under that spell again. He'd ask Cloud about it when he saw him.

"Okay…okay back to the bugs."

Vincent shifted onto the corner of the couch beside Zack. Although he faced away from him, Zack could feel Vincent's focused gaze watching his every breath. It should have felt uncomfortable but instead Zack felt very safe. He didn't know if it was more of the demon's magic or not and he didn't ask. It was one more violation than he could handle right then and he needed to focus on what's important.

"All Soldiers are monitored and through monitoring are controlled. The higher the level someone is, the greater the surveillance." Vincent finally said.

"Why?"

"To keep you loyal. To ensure the weapons Shinra created aren't turned back on them. Also, to keep you content with your imprisonment."

"I am NOT a weapon!" Zack protested.

"Are you sure?"

Zack flopped back in disgust. Damn the man for sounding so…so logical. He WASN'T a weapon, he was a person! He had his own mind, his dreams, his…his honor.

"It didn't really work did it. Look at Genesis and Angeal both went renegade with a battalion of Thirds and Seconds." Zack huffed.

"…"

"How do you know all this anyway?"

"A story for another time."

"I've got plenty to kill." Zack pushed.

"Cloud doesn't."

The more he learned about Shinra the less Zack wanted to stay. Sometimes (especially lately) he wished that it was just like any other normal job. That he could turn in his two weeks and move on. Unfortunately, like the Turks, Soldier was a lifetime gig, the green poison they pumped into his veins insured that. He thought he knew what he was getting himself into, but boy was he wrong. More and more it seemed that the dreams and honor that Angeal taught him were nothing more than lies.

Now though there was this whole thing with Cloud and Vincent from the future. People here to change what's happening now. A whole conspiracy going on under the president's nose. Zack didn't know how bad it got to have caused it but it must have been far worse than this. If Cloud was right, and he was here to make it all better, then Zack would have his back. But how bad could things really have been for the Planet, the freaking PLANET to send someone back in time to save itself? He couldn't even imagine it, that in a few years the world would end.

If Cloud was wrong or lying…

"Okay" Zack said slowly "Tell me what happened with Cloud."

Vincent shifted minutely.

"You said he's gone." Zack pressed.

"After…Hojo disconnected him the lifestream took him." Vincent answered.

"How can the lifestream just…take someone?" Zack asked shocked.

Mythology says it takes the souls of the dead. He'd never heard of it taking someone still living. That was the stuff of science fiction, it only happened in crappy B movies.

"Unknown, but not unheard of."

"Why did it take him?"

Vincent hesitated a minute before answering "I don't know. Possibly to heal the damage…Hojo did to him. Possibly he's receiving new instructions."

"So why sneak into my bedroom? You knew I was going down there today, so why didn't you just wait and tell me then?"

Again, Vincent hesitated for far longer this time. Zack could visibly see him weighing how much to tell him, if anything at all.

"Cloud's mind is…fractured. He doesn't want…Hojo to know how bad it is."

Huh?

"What do you mean?" Zack asked slowly.

"What…Hojo did to him from before…destroyed his mind completely. He has no real memory from before he woke from his coma after the other you made your escape."

"What? What do you mean 'other me'? What escape?" Zack asked rapidly.

This was far more than what he thought he was going to hear. Vincent didn't seem too happy having to tell him. But he wanted to know. He asked for this.

"From before you and Cloud met the same way. He was a regular infantryman then. You became friends and you were something of a mentor to him. A mission came that you Sephiroth and Cloud were on. Sephiroth was possessed and fatally wounded you both. Cloud was able to kill Sephiroth before he fell. Hojo took you both and experimented on you. You were useless to him but…Hojo saw potential in Cloud and did far worse to him. You escaped and took Cloud with you. He was not aware of what was happening."

This was far worse than anything he could have imagined and he was only getting the barest facts of what happened…should have happened. This was just the beginning.

"Are-are you sure you should be telling me this?" Zack asked.

"Cloud believes you should know but he cannot tell you himself."

"Okay…so fractured mind." Zack didn't want to hear any more about possible futures.

"Cloud's mind and memories were lost. He needed to build new ones. He did that by copying the memories of others and making them his own."

"How?"

"No one knows but he has many personalities and skills he blended into one. But there are three that make up the most of who he is."

"Who?" Zack wasn't sure he wanted to know but at the same time he desperately needed to know.

"Sephiroth, Tifa and you."

Zack was somewhat in shock. For all that Vincent led him up to it, it just wasn't real until he said it. Even now his mind shied away from the implications.

"When Cloud comes back, you need to take Tifa and go to him. His mind will be unstable from everything that he's been through already. He'll need his anchors" Vincent continued.

"What about Sephiroth?" Zack asked.

"He's been by Cloud's side every night. He's already entrenched."

Okay…he could do this. Could he do this?

When would all this become too much? Or was it already too much?

Zack didn't think he could ever be strong enough to carry the burden Cloud shouldered like it was nothing. Zack always dreamed of becoming a hero. Seeing and hearing such a small amount of what his friend had been through made him wish he stayed at home to skin frogs.

"No one else could do it, could they." Zack's question was more of a statement.

Vincent answered anyway "No, they could not."

"I don't want this." Zack said calmly.

"I understand."

"It's just…too much…too big for me y'know. I'm just one guy."

"True."

"I can't…"

Zack shook his head and thought back on everything he learned just this morning. It wasn't everything, it wasn't even a lot and what was learned was horrifying. There was still so much further to go and far worse things to know. Far worse things that WILL happen as things change. He would have to give up everything he worked so hard to get. Lose everything he ever wanted. His dreams. His honor. His pride in Soldier.

Zack sighed and ran his hands through his hair. There really was no other option.

"Alright, I'm in."

As if it had been waiting for Zack to decide, his PHS started ringing. Zack got up and rushed to where he left it charging. He couldn't stop the slight smile when he saw who was calling him. He flipped it open and brought it to his ear.

"Hey Aerith." Zack greeted

"Hi Zack, Um sorry to call you so early but...I…uh…have a slight situation here."