Disclaimer: I do not own the TMNT. All I own is a computer and an overactive imagination.

Say it Ain't So

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

It was very late at night, or possibly very early in the morning, when a bloodcurdling scream ripped through the lair, shocking its occupants out of their peaceful slumber. Three mutant turtles and one mutant rat quickly hurried to the source of the commotion, which was located in the bedroom of the fifth and youngest family member.

Michelangelo was sitting upright in bed, trembling from head to toe, clutching his pillow like a life preserver. A thin layer of sweat clung to his forehead. He did not seem to notice his family; instead he was staring straight ahead muttering "the horror, the horror…" under his breath over and over again.

"Mikey? Mikey, are you okay?" Leo asked. He reached out and gently touched Mike's shoulder, which caused him to emit yet another high-pitched shriek.

Splinter's ears automatically flattened against his head. His sons winced as well, but their hearing was nowhere near as sensitive as their father's. "Michelangelo, clam down," Splinter said in a soft but firm voice. "You are safe. Your family is here."

The sound of his father's voice brought Mike back from his dark place. He turned to his family. "Sensei? Bros?" He blinked.

"Yeah Mikey, it's us," Don said.

Mike's body went limp with relief. "Guys, I had the most horrible nightmare! I dreamed that we were all hurled one hundred years into the future…a cheap, badly drawn future." He shuddered.

"Go on," Splinter said.

"There were the cliché flying cars and cheesy aliens and robots gayer than C3PO! The bad guys were really lame and…and Bishop was there, but he was totally boring, nothing like the slimy, torture-happy, alien-hating government agent we all know and love! And there was this annoying red-headed kid with a squeaky voice hanging around for some reason…but the worst part was we were stuck there, with no hope of ever going home!" Michelangelo paused and took a deep breath before continuing. "I mean, the whole thing…it was like a parody of us, of our lives, designed to pander to the lowest common denominator!"

The others were silent for a moment as they processed what Mike had said. "Damn, Mikey," Raph said. "That's messed up."

"I must concur," Don said. "It sounds pretty awful!"

"It even gives me the creeps," Leo said. "Good thing it was just a dream."

"But what if it really happens?" Mike cried. "I mean, crazy stuff like that happens to us all the time! We've been to outer space, other dimensions…we've even time traveled before! Who's to say we can't end up…" he trailed off and shuddered again.

"Mikey, I admit that when it comes to this family, Fate can have a twisted sense of humor," Leo said. "But I doubt it would ever be that cruel."

"How do you know?" Mike cried. "What if it's not up to Fate? What if our lives are controlled by some higher power, like…accountants, or worse, marketing executives?"

"Geez, Mike, are you running a fever?" Don asked, feeling his forehead. "You're not making any sense!"

"It was just a dream, my son," Splinter said. "Sometimes dreams are manifestations of our subconscious fears…or sometimes they are the result of eating moldy pizza just before bed."

"Yeah, Mikey, we told you to throw that out! But nooo…you're the turtle with the iron stomach!" Raph teased. "Bonehead."

"I just can't stand to see pizza in the garbage. It's such a tragedy." Mike sighed.

"All right, I believe it is time for us to return to bed," Splinter said. "Good night, Michelangelo." He made his way out of the room; Mike's brothers mumbled "good night" and "dumbass" and followed.

Mike leaned back onto his bed. His family was right. It was nothing but a bad dream from eating moldy pizza. The future…lame villains…annoying kids…gay robots…it could never happen.

Or could it?

THE END

a/n: Those of you who haven't seen "Fast Forward" probably won't find this story as funny as those who have. Being a turtle freak I can't help but watch the show (I need my DonLeoRaphMike fix dammit), and although I don't hate it as much as my story implies, I believe it is a definite step down from the previous seasons.