So…school started again. How come no one told me sophomore year is twenty times harder than freshman? Ugh…high school and me…love/hate relationship.

Track 3: Jonny Can't Decide or Benny Can't Decide

"I just want to know, where is this going?"

He should've expected it. Women did not just stay around indefinitely, waiting for something that might never come. They wanted-no, they needed security. They craved to know that the six, ten, fourteen months they'd invested into a relationship would eventually pay off. Without that, they ran.

"Alison, baby, I love you."

Shit. He hadn't meant to say that. It was true enough though, now that it was out. He did love her. Not her wallet or her daddy's connections, her.

But he loved his life, he loved getting up each morning and taking pictures. And even if they didn't ever get picked up by a magazine or anything, he still loved doing it. He loved spending time in his crappy apartement with Roger, Mark, Collins and even, on occasion, Maureen.

And loving Alison meant leaving them.

Not to mention, he wasn't even sure he was ready to be married. Did he really want to give up his freedom, his dreams for Alison?

For the woman I love, he corrected himself.

Why did everything have to be so hard?

"And?" Alison prompted. "You love me, terrific. But what does that mean?"

And what? He loved her, shouldn't that be enough?

Could it be enough?

Enough to abandon his dreams?

Enough to betray his friends?

Enough to keep him faithful?

Love's not a miracle worker, he thought dismally.

But would it be enough to convince him he'd done the right thing?

"Ben?"

"Alison-I don't know-"

Her face began to crumble and Benny was powerless to stop it. "Baby, it's not that I don't love you, it's just-"

"Ben, I really don't need to hear your excuses, I really don't. When you decide what you want, call me. Until then-"

"It's just, I have dreams baby! I want to make something of myself!"

"Don't you think I have dreams too? Or are you the only one here with goals? Just because I have money doesn't mean I don't want to achieve something meaningful! It's just," she paused and calmed herself. "I don't want to tether myself to you if you're just going to put me off till someday. That's not part of my plan."

She stormed out of the room, closing the door forcefully behind her..

BABABABABABABABABA

Benny didn't tell anyone about what had happened. A week passed and he didn't talk to Alison, didn't see Alison, didn't do anything.

And the whole time, he felt like he was dying.

He picked up the phone gingerly, almost not trusting his fingers to dial properly. One ring. Two rings. Three rin-

"Hello?"

Hearing her voice was like drawing in a fresh breath. "Alison?"

"Ben?" she asked, almost unsure of who she might've been talking to. "Is that you?"

"Yeah, it is. Meet me tonight?" he asked in a rush. "At Vincenzo's," her favorite. It would take all the money he'd been saving for new equipment, but it didn't even matter. "At eight." He hung up before she had a chance to refuse.

She lit up the entire restauraunt when she walked in, making his subway ride from hell worth it. She sat down awkwardly, her emotions already pouring through her eyes.

"You didn't have to do this," she waved, indicating the room. "I know you've been having money problems…what about you're camera?"

"It doesn't matter," Benny said smoothly. "All that matters is us."

"Ben, I'm sorry."

"For what?" he took a sip of his water, genuinely interested in what she had to say.

"I should've never done that, given you that ultimatum. It was wrong of me, I know that. I can't push you into something you don't want-"

"Sh…" Benny took her hand in his and rubbed small circles on the back of it. "It's okay. This time, this week has taught me something."

Alison looked up, her eyes boring into his. "And what did you learn?"

"That I'm nothing without you. And I know what I want now."

"And what do you want?" she asked, her breath hitched in her throat, already knowing what was to come.

"You. Alison Grey, will you marry me?"

"But what about your dreams, your life-"

"I love you baby, and that's enough."

Benny hoped to God he was telling the truth.