His hands felt so comforting against her wet, rosy, cheeks. He was so close, and she wouldn't complain. It was Heaven, his lips pressing gently to her forehead as he cooed sweet nothings into her prickling ears. The miko had to stop and ask herself 'Am I dead? Is this even real?' But she didn't act on it. She kissed him back when his mouth finally came to hers. How could she say no? How could she turn away from those amber puppy eyes, dream or not.
Her eyes were clouded, as if coming to from a long, long sleep. So maybe it was a dream? She could hope, turning those eyes to his to part her lips. She hesitated on her question, touching the near invisible silver stubble on his chin. She always wondered how he never grew a beard, yet his hair was so much longer than her own. Maybe it cut it, shaved, like most men. It must have been when she wasn't looking. One of those times he went off to be alone.
Her fingers trailed over the silver stubble. She soon brought her lips there to trace along the short slivers of fine hair. She could feel every inch of his skin that met her fingers, her face, her entire being. Maybe it wasn't a dream? His arms that circled around her felt so firm and real around her hips, holding her close. How could this not be real?
She could feel the tears pricking at her eyes, and she slipped her face into the crook of his neck, her arms pressed against his chest. Perfect. Now the tears that trickled down were hidden from his sight. But he could smell them. Kagome parted her lips, letting a gentle sob move through but muffled by the hanyou's warm flesh.
"I love you." He whispered against her ear, clawed fingers threading through her dark tresses. Those three words that the miko wanted to return to him so badly, just spoken right into her ear. She knew he wanted to hear them, just itching to, waiting and waiting. But he was dead. This couldn't possibly be real. But, she could feel her underarms prickle with gooseflesh, her eyes go wide, her heart do multiple flips in her chest, pounding rapidly. This had to be real.
But as her lips parted once more, her face pulled from his neck to watch his eyes. Just as she started to push out those three words she hadn't the chance to slip through before...
Kagome's eyes fluttered open, vision hazy and distorted with tears and loss of circulation. She felt her body aching. Every inch of her. She tried to move, but only lay still, trying to remember the feel of Inuyasha's lips from only moments ago. Maybe it was him, maybe it was a dream, but it was him. Maybe they could communicate through dreams.
She was deep in thought, hope that this wasn't the end of him and her. So deep in thought, that it took a moment for the miko to realize she wasn't breathing.
She sucked in a heavy, forced, breath, that stung her shriveled lungs. Then reality was free to crush down on her, flatten her back into the shallow pool of misery. The pain licked evilly at the edges of her dream, soon washing it away. Now she was empty, but she couldn't sit and think how horrible her life was. Inuyasha was dead. Did it hurt more to watch the person you love self destruct from a place you couldn't touch them, couldn't help, could only watch them suffer while you suffered, yourself, from the way she had ended it so cruelly. Or did it hurt more to stay behind, wondering what the other one was doing, what they were thinking and feeling. Whether they hated them or not. Whether you'd ever seen them or not.
He must hate her. But, being able to know that she wondered so, but not able to tell her how very much he still loved her, hurt so bad.
Kagome groaned softly, stomach muscles working to help her sit up. It was no use. Everything hurt. She felt paralyzed, glued to the ground by her sorrow and hate for Kikyou. The dead priestess had nearly killed her! Just a moment longer, and she would have slipped under forever, never to awaken. That had almost been her fate. But not quite.
The miko tried to hold onto the dream, even though the feeling of his kiss and his arms around her had faded. She let her face fall to the side, hoping, and half believing, that the hanyou's body wouldn't be pinned to that tree. His death had been a dream, right? But there he was, hanging limply against the bloody bark. Just as she had left him.
She could see the hurt in his expression, and almost see the pain through his closed eyes. He was in pain when he died. He had left, shedding a tear, when he had made it so clear that he never cried. This so proved him wrong. But who wouldn't cry, an arrow through their heart, dying, all because of the girl he loved the most. He had spoken to her, desperately waiting for a reply. But she didn't talk back. She hadn't said a word back to him. Didn't he know she was possessed, that she didn't have a choice whether that arrow was fired or not.
Or maybe she had. She just didn't know it.
'Stupid!' She cursed herself. 'You could have saved him! You could have done something! This was her plan all along! Kikyou just said that to make you mad, dampen your spirits and hopes and confidence. How could you have let her get to you!'
Kagome shook her head, rising into a sitting position with another painful groan. It took every muscle in her body to move now. She could taste the sourness of blood on her tongue. Inuyasha's or her own? She took a split second to waver her eyes, slowly back to him. She couldn't stop the flow of the tears when they finally rested on him for a second time since her consciousness.
It was her fault. All her fault, and now she could never see him again. He must be watching her, trying to hard to scream out to her while she lay and self destructed. He couldn't say a word, couldn't touch her though his fingertips itched to trace across her heated and damp cheek. Torture. And she thought it was torture to sit there without a clue.
She stood, limbs aching. She pushed through. But she just stood there, glaring, almost angrily, at the darkness around her. She knew Kikyou must be lurking there somewhere. Somewhere deep, deep in the shadows that her eyes just couldn't reach. The miko rushed forward.
Kagome pushed past her aching muscles and the tearing branches that hovered down from the looming trees, flinging herself close to Inuyasha's limp and lifeless shell. She turned her eyes back to him, having closed them tightly out of fear. It was rising heavily as a lump in her throat. It felt so weird to be near a dead body, even weirder touching one as she reached up a hand to sweep aside his silver bangs. Her fingers had touched his skin. She had jumped a mile.
Since when was she ever been afraid to touch Inuyasha? Since when had she never wanted to be touched by him, or to touch him? The cold skin that layered over his lifeless corpse was nothing. It was still him, in life or death. Still the boy she loved- and killed.
The cautious miko lean forward, irises trembling as she neared. Her hands circled around his neck, fingers folding into his hair. Her heart beat quickened, her breathing with it. She could barely breath- bringing back the horrifying moments before her unconsciousness. Her lips quivered before she lightly touched them to his. She jerked back for only a moment, breathing deeply, fear clinging to each whisp of air that passed out of her lungs.
Again, she raised her lips to touch his in a final, one sided kiss. She lingered there, tears slipping silently down her rosy cheeks. She had never been afraid to cry. Not in front of everyone. But Inuyasha? Twice, she had seen the evidence of tears streak his face. Thinking of the moments he was alive to kiss her back, wrap his arms around her when she kissed him so, brought the sorrow gurgling up her throat.
His arms lay limp by his sides. He wasn't going to hold her. Not now, not ever again. Kikyou had disappeared somewhere. Sango and the rest had been swept back into a battle they couldn't possibly win. Everything was going downhill from here, and Kagome even felt as though she was tumbling so fast, over rocks and sharp stick, down a horribly huge hill that never seemed to end.
Her lips drew away, unsatisfied. He couldn't feel it. She could feel it, though. His frozen lips, still soft, but so cold and blue. It wasn't the same, and never would be.
Kagome's eyes slowly trailed down his body, eyes catching painfully on the loud and proud splotches of blood that scattered his clothing. Her blood and his. Just thinking about it, made every inch of where his claws had touched on her, sting wildly. She shook away the feeling, reaching down reluctantly to clutch the arrow she had shot into his leg.
A sizzling breath seared through her clenched teeth as she carefully, almost as if he could still feel it, ripped the arrow from where it was embedded in his skin. She dropping it quickly, letting the blood splatter over her legs. She trembled, stepped back, but not for long when she suddenly flung her arms around him, burying her face in the crook of his neck, just like in her dream.
"I'm sorry!" She screamed. "I'm so so sorry!"
The arrow that protruded from his chest stuck right over her shoulder, but she knew she shouldn't remove it. The blood would spill, and he would fall. Would it not be so much more graceful to have your grave as the tree you're pinned on? He was graceful. The hanyou was more than just a drop dead good looking boy, he was beautiful. The setting sun played over his tearkissed cheeks. It glistened against the blood that trailed across his lips and down his cheek, slipping down his neck. If she cleaned away the blood, wiped away his tears, turned his frown into a pleasant smile, he would just look as though he was sleeping.
She sobbed heavily, pressing herself tightly to his, his blood smearing over her front. She wanted him to hold her so badly. She felt so cold where his arms should circle around her. It was Hell on Earth without his amber eyes boring into hers.
"I love you so much. I always have."
Claws clicked, knuckles cracked, something moved beside her. Kagome took in a sharp breath, pressing tighter to her only protector, gone forever. She breathed silently, until something warm spread over her side. Her skin crawled, her breath caught in her throat, her head spun. She felt the fear wash over her in freezing sheets as she glanced down at the hand that cupped to the curve of her body.
She gasped at the long, long, nails that rested on the surface of the haori she wore. The hand clenched weakly to her side. Warm. So warm. She began to tremble, as if cold, from the warmth that tickled over her side. A pale, clawed, hand. She gawked in silence.
Alive? Inuyasha was alive?
Her eyes slipped up to meet his. She longed to see his amber eyes staring back at her with a sweet and reassuring smile. She dreamed of his boyish, charming voice to echo something like "You didn't think I'd leave you here like this, did you? Fool. I would never". The words stuck in her mind, but she was forced to save them for hearing later as the lids of his eyes crushed her hopes.
She thin strips of warmth crawl up the length of his form, warming off onto her. She couldn't fight back a quick, thrilled, cry. Kagome jumped to snatch the arrow that stood out from his chest. With a quick tear, she ripped it away from him. She hesitated, blood splattered across her tight features as she waited for his scream of pain, his yelp and hiss at her for hurting him so.
It never came.
She waited more, gently letting the arrow slip from her grasp as she waited for him to drop down onto his knees. He never did. He stood tall, his eyes closed, his hand over her side. What was going on?
The miko slipped her hand into his, bringing it to her face where she pressed her lips to his knuckles, his palm, his wrist, just so thankful to feel the touch of his warm, lively, skin. Slowly, their hands sank down as Kagome watched him curiously. Her heart pounded, rooting silently for him to open his eyes. Her stomach was already flopping wildly inside her.
"Inuyasha?" She murmured his name, then instantly regretted it.
A gasp tore from her throat, her head flinging to the side with an unnoticed, unexpected force. She stared, confused, shocked, at the forest. It was a moment before the pain seared across her jawline. She was too shocked to cry out, simply raised a hand to touch the slit of torn skin that stretched across her jawline.
Then she felt the blood.
It trickled over her fingers, dripping into her palm. It wasn't a lot, but the pain from the cut wasn't the greatest pain she felt. Her watering brown eyes turned to Inuyasha's, sobs breaking through at the sight. There he stood, his bloodied claws raised to the side of his face, his fangs poking out from under his upper lip. When she blinked, his eyes were open.
They were bright red.
..:--.-.-.-.-.-.--..-:..
Well...tsk tsk...he's alive...but now we have another problem. A HUGE problem.
Gosh, Inu and Kags just can't get a break, can they?
Well, I've got a nifty plan... -opens mouth-
Psh! You didn't actually think I'd tell you, did you?
I think it's much more fun to keep you waiting in antica...
pation.
Oh, that was good. Kay! Tune in for next time! See ya!