Chapter 60
Chips of the weight sensitive cliff tumbled from the edges. Their hands gripped tightly at each other, holding on for dear life. It took a long moment for Kagome to realize what she had done and how Inuyasha had reacted. She waited for his screams to her as he hunched over the edge of the cliff on hands and knees, hand clutching tightly to his ex lover's pale, thin wrist.
Slumped against the tree, tears dripping down her rosy cheeks, the miko felt horrible. How could she have shoved Kikyou like that, toppled her off a cliff? What inside her snapped to make her act so devilishly? How could she have done such a cruel thing? The girl felt low, guilty, and ashamed of what she had done. How could she? How could she?
He wasn't going to let go, was he? He was going to pull her back up the side of that cliff and press his lips onto hers. She carried his child that had died along with her, fifty two years back. How could the worthless miko have thought for a second that his words were true when he said that he loved her?
Kagome felt so small, so alone and cold and unwanted as she sank against the tree. Her head slowly hung low as she stared at her cut decorated legs. So that night on the rocks meant nothing? It was just Inuyasha's lustful youkai side coming to the surface? He really didn't care, did he? And the torture she was being put through, watching her lover cling to the girl he had claimed to have gotten over. She thought it was just what she deserved for what she had done.
Inuyasha's fingers felt numb as he gripped tightly to Kikyou's wrist. Her fingers instantly curled around the hanyou's wrist as well, soft, scared breaths leaving her throat. Her other arm lay limp at her side, the strength fleeted from her almost completely now. But she held on so tight, with all she had left.
"Inuyasha…I love you." She slowly whispered, the empty hole where her heart should beat filled with fear that she didn't know she could feel. If he let go now, and she plunged down…
Kagome's eyes shot wide, her head thrusting upward to stare blankly at the figures that clutched eagerly to each other. Those words swam in her head and made her feel ill, sick, and woozy. Those were the words Inuyasha had said to her, that she had said to him. Was this evil woman trying to erase her from the face of the Earth? Why did it look like it was working?
The hanyou hesitated, amber eyes boring down into her hazel ones. Did she mean it? Why had she said it? Why was he believing her? It was that very moment in time that he stopped to think for once. This was the moment in time where he had to choose between Kikyou…or Kagome.
How could he compare the two women who lit up his life? What kind of lord above would put them through such sorrow and angst? It just wasn't fair, he thought, as his fingers tightened harshly over the priestess' cold wrist.
"I love you too, Kikyou…" He finally murmured back, his voice choking, his mind working fiercely though his words covered the confusion that dwelled inside him. He loved Kikyou…? "No…I loved you. I love Kikyou."
His mind finally seemed to burst with the pressure for a moment, the silence of the girl behind him deafening in his canine ears. The inu hanyou's heart seemed to swell with the pain of his decision. He had to pause, take in the look of defeat and hurt that swept over his ex lover's face. Yet she didn't give up.
"I am Kikyou…It's me…" She told him, her voice shaking as his grip started to loosen over her wrist. A soft squeal lifted from her lips and she watched his cringe pain. It hurt him to see her cry, to see her hurt or rejected, even more when it was by him. His grip tightened and she forced a tiny smile.
The miko's eyes locked securely to their hands, how dearly they clung to each other. Was it this hard to let go? Was she really nothing to compare to what Kikyou had given the hanyou so many years ago? She couldn't blame him. The schoolgirl could only sit and wait for Inuyasha to turn around and order her from his life forever. What she had done to Kikyou was unforgivable, and it was a miracle the hanyou hadn't beaten her to death for it already.
"No. I loved Kikyou. I loved the priestess who gave up her job, her innocence, her everything to me and accepted everything I gave in return. Now...you…you take and take and never give anything back. You tease me with your kisses and words, your deceive me with your eyes. I love Kikyou, but you are not Kikyou. Kikyou is dead. I…I don't know who you are anymore." Inuyasha said slowly, each word pronounced with every inch of pain that stabbed at his heart on the inside. Despite the preaching, his fingers tightened over her wrist, holding her firmly as she dangled helplessly off the edge of the cliff.
"Inuyasha! You're not telling me that you no longer love me. Did you not hear me? I love you! I don't care, we can put aside the past!" Kikyou argued. Her dull brown eyes cast to Kagome where the girl sat, eyes wide, mouth open, and tears running down her cheeks. How much pain were they going to suffer through before their lives were up, before this day was up?
Kagome stared with eyes as wide as baseballs. Was he breaking up with her? Or breaking up with the both of them? Inuyasha had always loved the deceased priestess, in her life and in her death. Why did it hurt so bad to see something she always accepted play out before her?
"I wish we could. Damn, you don't know how I wish we could. But we can't. There's just too much that neither of us can erase." Inuyasha retorted, his voice firm, though his mind struggled to decide if this was the right thing to do or not. He could remember the feel of the dead miko's lips against his and how it felt to wake up with her warm frame huddled against his side.
His eyes slipped past her tearing eyes, settling on the two marks of his fangs in the side of her neck. He tried to remember what it felt like to taste her blood as he marked her as his own. He could barely recall it. The taste of Kagome's blood was still fresh and strong on his tongue. He could taste her kiss and her tears when he the memory of his love for Kikyou was fading by the second.
"I can give you those words, Inuyasha. Those words that she couldn't give you before. She waited, hesitated. You're going to believe her over me? You've known her a year and a half, you've known me fifty two. I love you. Hear me? I love you! That wench doesn't know you like I do!"
Kagome flinched. The sharp words that trailed from the priestess' lips hit her like a slap in the face. Her eyes stung from crying and her heart was on the edge of bursting. Who did he love? Who was he going to leave after this? Who did he hate right now? It took a chunk out of her hope in her love's survival as Inuyasha hesitated to reply on the hurtful words directed towards her.
"Don't you dare talk about her like that! Look at her…I nearly killed her last night when I didn't lay a single scratch on you when that baby was conceived….and all me and her did was kiss. All you had couldn't bring out what she brought out in me with a mere touch or kiss. You can't do what she can do to me, Kikyou." The hanyou defended, his knuckles chalk white from holding to her so harshly. Everything on him ached painfully, like his entire body was caught on fire. Blood dripping into a small puddle underneath him. His fingers burned, his claws breaking the soft clay skin on the wrist of the dangled priestess. She couldn't feel the pain.
A soft silence overcame them and Kagome's heart nearly stopped beating in her chest. For a moment, the intense pain in her back and shoulder faded in numbness as he defended her. She wondered silently if she should move, leave them alone or help Kikyou back over the edge of the cliff she had shoved her over. She realized, horrible, that she didn't want to help the other miko. Kagome had saved Kikyou countless times without a single thank you or thing in return. She wasn't about to get trampled over again by the priestess' evil ways. Though she blamed herself, hated herself for being so evil as she pushed Kikyou over the cliff, she knew the woman deserved it.
"You don't get it, do you? You've wanted me to love you for so long…" Kikyou murmured, her voice turning harsh and firm. Was her end coming nearer? How many times did she had to say she loved him until he broke down with the memories he wanted so badly to remember and feel again? He looked so pale. Deadly pale, like the life had just been drained out of him as he leaned farther back, pulling Kikyou just a farther bit up the cliff.
A sudden cry of pain slipped through the hanyou's lips. His other hand shot up to touch the hole in his chest where the arrow had been. His hand instantly drenched in blood and he sank back down with his hand to the ground and his ex lover hanging fully off the cliff. He looked like he wanted to save her so badly, but his strength, in heart and muscle, wouldn't let him.
Kagome jolted forward, but only managed to drop fully to her knees several feet away from her target. She wanted to help Inuyasha, take away his pain even if it meant leaving his life forever. But with the way he had spoken, defended her… She just wanted to wrap him tightly in an embrace and stop all his bleeding and hurt. When he cringed, she cringed. She could almost feel his pain.
"Kikyou! You're the one who doesn't get it! She loves me! If you could just see the way she loves me. Kagome makes me laugh and smile. I'm not even sure if you actually loved me for who I really was. Who I am. But I do know that she does." He retorted harshly, putting the two girls in a momentary state of shock. But he paused just long enough to hunch even lower as his blood created a little pool beneath him. "That night, you told me we'd be together 'forever'. Is this the forever you were talking about? Look at us now."
"It can be forever…if you just hang on…don't let go of me. Don't let me fall. I'll love you forever, I promise you." Kikyou pleaded, her fingers slipping with the sweat that had started to bead the inu hanyou's entire body. He looked like he was in so much pain, his brows angled inward in pain, hurt, and anger. His face unearthly pale and his entire body shaking. The boy could have dropped dead right then and there.
Decide. Decide. The priestess was getting to him, her teary brown eyes gazing up at him so innocently. He had to convince himself that this was the woman who had possessed him and sent him off to make him kill Kagome. This was the woman who had attempted to murder the scared little schoolgirl he had vowed to protect and care for with his life. Still, those thoughts just seemed to be clouded with the love the two shared fifty two years ago.
He finally made up his mind, of who he would love.
"I don't know you. And I'll hate you…until I find a reason not to. You buy your reasoning, Kikyou…but you can't buy mine. And I'd give you my heart, Kikyou…if it didn't already belong to someone else."
A deafening silence shocked them all, tore up each and every one of the three people's souls.
Inuyasha's fingers slowly loosened, letting his hand slide up her arm as she dropped further down. He clutched her hand tightly, his amber eyes slowly closing as a saline tear slipped past his curling lashes. The pink tinge along his cheeks and nose was the only color in his face as his fingers slowly uncurled from Kikyou's.
The horrible silence of her accepting her fate would haunt the hanyou forever as the once girl of his dreams plunged down into the dark abyss below them.
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Are my little angels happy? I know what you're thinking. Inuyasha would never do such a horrible thing like that to Kikyou. BUT. The priestess DID yell at Kagome, try to choke her, make a deal with Naraku behind their backs, help the posessed Kagome kill Inuyasha, attempt to kill Kagome through a posessed Inuyasha, and try to break Kagome down. Sure he doesn't KNOW she did all this yet, but just one of them is enough to make him turn against her. Just throwing that out there.
rika- Oh, good! No! I haven't stopped updating! And I won't stop until this thing's over! But I'm extremely flattered that this is your favorite fic! I really feel specail right now.
little-miss-inu- Aw! I missed you too. I got a bit of the block! AHHHH! But I'm okay now! And I told you Raelin's fic would be good! She's an awesome writer. I'm always incredibly amazed whenever I read something of hers. And I rp with her every day! You have a second fic? I shall go read it sometime, then! Congrats!
SweetInuLover- AWWW! Yay. More fans! Here it is, have fun!
xcurlyinuyashax- picks head up from off the floor and glues it back on Ow...Well I bet you LOVED this one, then!
GoingGhost- Yeah. Quite literally a cliff hanger, huh? Hm.
Akina315- Actually, Kagome and Kikyou are very different people. If you haven't already noticed, they aren't fighting over him. Kikyou is trying to bring him to hell and Kagome is trying to save him. She really wants Inuyasha to be happy, and if it's without her, then she'll let him go. She just doesn't want him to die because of Kikyou. Anyway. I'm glad you still liked it.
Alexa- AH! Love the long reviews as always! I know it was a short chapter, it deserved it. It was a specail part of the story. Does this one kinda make up for it? It's very choppy, I know. But Inuyasha ultimate decision needed its very own seperate chapter. Yeah, as you can see, Kagome really hates herself for it. She's always the innocent, nice type and there she goes bursting out that she hates Kikyou and then shoves her off a cliff. Ouch. It was all just a huge accident.
Yasha'z Wifey Kyome- Bet you loved this chapter too! And sure, I'll read your fic.
Wow. I'm bushed! That's all for now, though! Buh bye!