Oh my God, you mean people are trying to kill me? Wait a minute... I never really thought about dying before. -Charles Sabatier, US Army
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Johnny,
It wasn't so much what you told me as it was me realizing the very real possibility of you dying. I had thought about it before, but I don't think I really knew that it could happen. I've already lost your father. I don't want to lose you, too.
It's a good thing you warned me about "FNG" because I still almost slapped Bernie. Such vulgar language.
I've put in for another subscription to the newspaper, so expect that in about a week. Bernie has gotten some more books for you, and I'm going out later to buy some more snacks and things. I don't know if you want or need them, but I'll get you some playing cards. Bernie heard in school that there is a junior high class looking to write to soldiers. He volunteered your name, so don't be surprised if you get mail from some kid.
Uncle Jacob called today. He's going to stay with us for a while, help me and Bernie out. I gave him your address, so he'll be writing you soon. Most likely he'll be in your room. I've got to tell Bernie yet, but I don't think he'll mind much. You boys have always looked up to Uncle Jacob, and hopefully he'll stay after you come home and after you leave again for college. Now that his own kids are grown and Aunt Beth has passed away, I expect he wants to be around family and it helps us out as well. Maybe having him around will give Bernie a good father figure through these difficult years. I'm sorry you never really had someone to look up to. There are so many things I feel you missed out on by not having a father, or father figure. With me working and you taking care of Bernie so much, I feel as if I robbed you of your childhood, or at least a large part of it. And now... now I might lose you. Now I find myself thinking of all the things I've done wrong, all the thing I should have done different. If you make it out of this alive, you'll understand when you become a parent. Until then, I'm left only to think over the past and pray that I see you again. Sometimes I believe Bernie has more faith than I do. Maybe because he's younger. I don't know.
Love,
Mom
