A/N: this chapter is laying the ground work for the next important arc in the story and setting up for the next few important events to come...As always enjoy :)
Chapter Ten: The Wolf Returns
Nothing pleased Ned more than to be back on Northern soil again, after so long South he was truly happy to pass through the river lands and return home. Crossing the border into the North had felt euphoric for Ned, he almost cried as the ruins of Moat Cailin rose from the mists. Leading the small procession Ned looked to Howland who also looked emotional to be home.
"We made it," said Ned simply breathing in deeply the crops northern air and exhaling gratefully, "Part of me didn't think we would return home"
Howland looked to his friend with a look of knowing in his eyes, "I knew we would live to see the North again"
Ned chuckled and shook his head slightly, "Yes I should've known that'd be your answer. I suppose you'll leave us here? Return to GreyWater Watch from the swamps?"
Howland surveyed the scene weighing up his options, "Not yet, first we will escort Lady Wylla to White Harbour. I know you're longing to return to Winterfell, you go ahead with your son and we will finish this part for you"
Ned patted his friend on the shoulder, "You know me so well"
"Aye, since we were young. I can see you're longing to see those walls and be back with your Gods"
"I think I've had enough of the South to last me a lifetime. I'd be happy to never leave the North again"
Howland chuckled, "You will ride South again, and more my friend. This was not your last journey"
"Will you come with me for the next one too?" questioned Ned jokingly to cut the seriousness of Howlands tone.
Howland smiled, "I've been locked in enough castles for this lifetime my friend, there is no reason I would ever ride south again. I won't be joining you when the time comes but I will help hold the North for you"
Ned stared intensely at Howland, he had always known of his people's talent for Greenseeing but he had never heard Howland speak with so much mystery before. He took note of his words and pushed them to the back of his mind for later. Ned looked at their surroundings, the grand ruins of Moat Cailin were a fitting place for his party to divide. He swung from his horse and approached the carriage with Wylla and his son, whom he had named Jon.
Ned opened the carriage door and looked inside, Wylla had Jon at the breast and was singing him a Dornish song. He gazed up at her captivated and the scene warmed Ned as he watched with a small smile on his face. Wylla was truly a beautiful young woman, olive skin, cascading dark curls falling over her shoulders to her hips and big almond shaped brown eyes. Typical Dornish looks, with a heart of gold and a talent with caring for Jon. Ned thought momentarily how he could never have managed this journey without her. He cleared his throat and still singing Wylla looked up smiling, and Jon smiled up at her still drinking from the breast. It pained Ned they had to part ways with Wylla.
She concluded the song and Ned climbed into the carriage and sat across from her, he fidgeted his hands nervously. Wylla smiled as Jon finished drinking and she patted his back gently, a burp escaped his mouth and Ned laughed.
"This is where we part ways my Lord" said Wylla with a smile, "I return to your sister now"
"I don't want you to go, Jon needs you"
"No my Lord, it's you who needs me but I must return and join your sister. My path does not continue here, the North is too cold for me" she did a mock shiver and laughed, "I need sunshine, warm days and sand. Lots of sand"
Ned made a face of disgust, "How? How can someone like sand? I'd be happy to never set my eyes on those sand hills again"
Wylla replied, "Just as the North and the snow is in your blood, Dorne and it's sand is in mine," she looked down at Jon and held him close to her one last time.
"I will always love you my little Prince, I won't forget you" she whispered in his ear, Jon giggled and blew a loud raspberry in response. Wylla laughed even as a few tears escaped her eyes.
Neds eyes stung with tears, he felt for the young boy that in his short life already his mother and his nurse would part ways with him.
"Don't worry for him," smiled Wylla through the tears that had fallen from her eyes, "there is plenty of love waiting for him in the North as well"
"Not as a bastard," replied Ned bitterly.
Wylla shrugged, "He will not be your bastard forever, that boy will hunt the truth of who he is"
Ned reached out and smoothed Jon's hair back saying quietly, "I expect nothing less from Lyannas son"
Wylla passed Jon to Ned and smiled reassuringly as Ned looked awkward holding him, she helped him adjust his arms to hold him better.
"You'll get better at this," promised Wylla, "it just takes practice"
"I worry what waits for him at Winterfell," confessed Ned, "my wife will not take this well"
"Maybe you need a new wife," said Wylla mischievously
Ned blanched and averted his gaze making as if he didn't hear what she said, he had struggled to suppress thinking of Ashara the closer he got to home.
"I have something for you before we depart Lord Stark" said Wylla, fishing something from her bags. She produced two vials and held them out in her open, olive hands. Ned looked down at them curiously, "Are they poison?" he asked warily.
Wylla shook her head, "No, they're not poisons. This one," she held up a strange vial with purple liquid inside, "is a truth serum. And this one," she held up another with a brown liquid inside, "is a powerful healing serum. Just one drop of either is all you need"
Wylla pushed them into Neds hands, he looked confused.
"Why would I need a truth serum? I won't drug people to get information from them!" he said defensively
"They're not drugging people," laughed Wylla lightly, "a truth serum simply allows a person to speak the truth as it is without emotion attached to it. It doesn't make you inebriated only liquor does that, a person acting under truth serum still acts autonomously"
Neds gaze at Wylla intensified, he remembered his pounding headache at Starfall
"What about side effects?"
"Some people lose memory in the short term if they consume alcohol with the serum, otherwise most people suffer from headaches-"
"Why" interrupted Ned staring at the bottle with purple liquid.
"The brain spends a lot of energy forming and concealing untruths as a form of self protection, breaking through those barriers we all have constructed can create headaches the next day"
"You know what happened with Ashara and I" blurted Ned bluntly.
"Everyone present at Starfall is aware of what happened with you two," shrugged Wylla, "you didn't exactly hide it"
Ned looked to the floor heat rising in his cheeks, "Why give me this now?" he asked through gritted teeth.
Wylla leaned forward and grasped his hand looking at him with solemn eyes, "Because I wanted you to know that what happened with her would've happened anyway. The truth serum really just sped things up"
"So that's what she meant when she said she helped me 'get out of my own way'," he replied
Wylla nodded and smiled, "The serum only makes you speak the truth it doesn't force you to do anything"
Standing and crossing the carriage Wylla kissed Jon on the forehead one last time and climbs out shivering unconsciously as the air bites her brown Dornish skin.
"Really how can you enjoy this cold air," she laughs as she mounts a horse and prepares to depart with Howland. In response Howland just smiles and shrugs, "I like the way the air bites my skin" to which Wylla just rolled her eyes and laughed. She gripped the reins in her hand as the horse danced around momentarily, clicking her tongue she soothed the horse with her hand down its neck. Ned watched with Jon in his arms, his heart told him to stop her and let her come but his head knew she was needed elsewhere.
"Take care of that boy, I will return to his life in years to come" was the last thing she said over her shoulder as she spurred the horse forward and departed into the mist. Howland and his men followed closely behind her, before long Ned was standing with Jon in his arms, his small party still on horseback around him while the mist swirled all around.
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Ned had never been so happy to see the towers of Winterfell rising from the mists as they rode at a hard pace North. He pulled his horse up just to take the sight in and smile the widest he'd smiled in over a year. After the heaviness of the war, finding Lyanna and Starfall, Ned was home. Spurring his horse forward he galloped towards home and what waited for him there, the beat of the horses hooves building excitement in him with every step. The Winterfell Guards rode out to see who was approaching and returned to the castle joyfully to alert everyone of Neds return. As he approached, the villagers from Wintertown had gathered outside and so had the guards and servants to see him return. It was a euphoric moment, the cheering and the tears on the faces of his people touched Ned. Now moving at a much slower pace he waved and shook the hands of those close enough to reach when he bent down from his horses back. Finally entering the castle Ned spotted Catelyn waiting for him, with a smile of happiness on her face and a babe in her arms. Ned flung himself from the horses back and pushing thoughts of Ashara from his mind flung his arms around his wife and son. Taking the babe from Catelyn, Ned looked him over, definitely a Stark. Typical Northerner looks with a shock of dark auburn hair, more river landers feature there than northerner but Ned loved him anyway. In the back of his mind he knew he'd only laid with his wife a handful of times but he shrugged it off being so happy to just be home. Meeting his son for the first time Ned was relieved he had sent Jon to be brought in and settled while everyone was focused on his arrival in the front. Producing him in front of everyone was a bad idea and Ned knew it, he might not be the smartest man when it comes to women but he knew that much.
The look of joy and happiness on Catelyn face stings Ned as he feels guilt rising within him especially when thoughts of Ashara begin to resurface. He pushes the thoughts down and let's Catelyn lead him around the castle and tell him all the things he missed when he was at war. Finally they finished where Neds bedroom would be now, the place where his father had slept before him and countless other Starks. He wearily sat on the end of the bed, his entire body ached and he suddenly felt very tired.
"When was the last time you saw Robert?" queried Catelyn, which snapped Ned back to reality.
"When I left Kings Landing" Ned replied curtly staring down at the floor, Catelyn picked up on his tone and raised an eyebrow. She recognised the fatigue in Ned and gently took Robb from him.
"Ned, what happened?" she said in shock as she cradled Robb in her arms.
"I refused to be their King and spat at his feet"
Catelyn unexpectantly laughed and covered her mouth in shock, "You did what?"
"I refuse to be a King with supporters who kill women and children, especially those who are noble born"
"But Ned," she started and promptly stopped herself
He looked up at her and her face was ashen, like she instantly regretted speaking.
"Say what's on your mind Cat"
"Is it true? What you did? At the Battle of the Bells" she stuttered and Ned looked again to the ground.
"Aye," he said at last, "it's true. I was bent on avenging my family, angry that I'd been thrust into being someone I didn't want to be. Just a whole mixture of things, if I could take that back and spare all those lives I would Cat"
Ned stood abruptly, "You see that's the difference though, with me and him. I regret what I did, but it's done now I can't change it. Faced with the choice again I'd choose different, I'll teach my sons to choose different. But Robert, he'd choose the same, every time. There is no remorse in him, after what he allowed to happen to Elia- I'm done" he said ended with a tone of finality.
"Done? What do you mean Ned?" asked Cat fearfully.
"Our friendship is over, and," he paused and lowered his voice, "if it ever come to it again I would not support his side in a war"
Cats mouth dropped open in surprise,"Whatever happened to you in that war has changed you Ned, it tore you two apart" she returned his hushed tones.
"Aye much changed," he replied absentmindedly and his heart dropped because he knew it was now. Now or never, and never wasn't really an option.
"Cat, sit down. I need to tell you something, about the war"
Catelyn slowly sat and looked curiously up at her husband, "What is it?"
"Something did happen during the war that impacts our family, after the Battle of the Bells I was in a bad way. I thought being that ruthless person, that everyone feared would make me feel better. I was wrong," tears stung his eyes, "it only made the pain much, more worse"
Ned stopped as he struggled with emotions which were real from remembering that time, Cat reached out and grasped his hand squeezing reassuringly.
"I tried to reason with myself but nothing worked, when we were on the move South I tried something else to feel better. I bedded a woman," immediately Cat let go of Neds hand. Ned looked to her and she had cast her eyes to gaze at the floor.
"It was only one night, and the next day I sent her on her way"
"Lots of things happen during a war," said Catelyn quietly, interrupting Ned.
"Aye they do, but" he stopped and exhaled in frustration, "listen I always try and do what's right. You have to understand I never meant to hurt anyone but I couldn't leave him there when he's mine. Everything in my being told me it would be wrong"
Catelyn looked up at Ned with tears forming in her eyes, "Him? Leaving him where? Who is he?"
"My son, the woman she- had my son from that one encounter. A villager mentioned it when I asked of her on the way home. So I went and brought him home with me"
"A son?" whispered Cat tears streaming down her face.
Ned nodded and searched her face, "Cat he needs to be with me I'm his father and can provide a better life than in some village. I hoped you'd understand-"
"I understand Ned Stark, you don't understand though what an insult this is to me, and to my family name" hissed Catelyn, "if I wasn't holding your babe I would slap you before leaving this wretched place"
Ned stepped back in shock, "Cat please- I made a mistake I'm asking you to forgive me"
Standing abruptly Cat moved to exit the room, "It's one thing to sleep with a villager during the war but it's another thing entirely to bring home your bastard with you. I will write to my Father and request an annulment of our marriage"
Without another word she swept sobbing from their suite carrying Robb with her and leaving confused servants in her wake as she pushed past them.
Ned stood in his room alone, and wondering how in the hell he would fix this.
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Many days passed and Ned had not seen his wife, his servants reported she had not left the castle and had remained in her quarters. Ned didn't dare visit her because he didn't really know what to say. Breaking his fast one morning Maester Lewin slipped a note into Neds hand and slipped away. Cautiously Ned opened it and read it, it was Lord Hoster Tully.
"Ned, I received word from my daughter requesting an annulment to her marriage with you. It grieves me to write this but if you wish for an annulment I will grant it. Your marriage to my daughter was more than a union of hearts, it will only strengthen our Houses and provide support should either need it. Think carefully about what your decision will be"
Ned smiled, he had always enjoyed Lord Hosters practicality and logic, and he felt no qualms about dismissing Catelyns claims for an annulment. She would have to deal with the situation because she was staying whether she liked it or not. Ned wasn't going to communicate that to her though, and felt time was the best healer of this wound. He had no desire to try and talk to an angry woman anyway. And he didn't have to because he didn't see his wife for months, she refused to dine with him, she refused to attend anything where Ned would be. After a period of time Ned found her anger to be absolutely ridiculous, he had brought home a babe yes but she was acting as if he had fathered scores of children across the country side and sought to legitimise them in place of their son.
Catelyn had flown into a rage at the sight of Jon which lead Ned to forbid Jon's servants crossing paths with his wife. Ned spent many nights lying awake in his bed wondering if this had irreversibly damaged his relations with her and he worried what this conflict meant for their future. In order to feel useful he often sent for his sons and forbid anyone keeping the boys apart, they would not be victims of his wife's rage or his mistake. They would carry on as normal, Ned had heard whispers that Catelyn tried to forbid her son playing with Jon and that angered Ned but he didn't think anything serious of it. He reasoned that in her shoes he might try and do the same, but what did he know about how a woman thinks?
After a time Ned stopped trying with, she spurned all his attempts to reconcile and he had the North to run. She had refused countless invites to talk and dine together, Ned just let her be in her rages and contemplated writing to Hoster after all and requesting the annulment. But something stopped him every time he raised his quill to begin the note.
Catelyn spent her days in prayer to the seven, almost in rebellion to her husband because he followed the Old Gods. Over time she became more and more devout, and she came to see she was being unreasonable. But being as stubborn as she was, found herself unable to go to her husband and fix things. This lead to her feeling frustration as well as anger and betrayal, and she couldn't see a way out.
Needing fresh air she walked the castle grounds one morning and felt clearer in her mind. Even she was tired from all the praying she had recently been doing.
She had been so focused on her son and her faith lately she had barely walked the castle grounds. The crisp air felt nice against her skin and she began to feel this place was becoming her home, but she was loathe to admit that to anyone. Her walk took her to a place in the grounds she wasn't familiar with, nonetheless she kept walking. Suddenly she stopped where she stood, a look of shock on her face as her eyes gazed up at a newly built temple, a temple of the Seven. Slowly she walked inside, the heavy door creaking loudly as she entered. Eyes full of wonder she walked between the altars and gazed upon them in amazement. She had never seen a temple like this before, it was incredibly beautiful and would rival the beauty of the Sept in Kings Landing. It was much smaller but no expense or detail had been overlooked. Catelyn stopped in front of the Mothers altar and closed her eyes in prayer, tears slipped from her eyes as the emotions she had held inside came tumbling out while the Mother stood above her. Begging forgiveness and a way forward she implored the mother internally to guide and protect her, and her husband. The fact she asked protection for her husband after a period of being angry for so long hurt her heart somewhat because she knew she was right to be angry but acted unfairly when he asked forgiveness.
"I wondered how long it would be until you came" said the familiar voice behind her.
Opening her eyes wet with tears she turned to see Ned standing across from her, tools in his hands and sweat on his brow. He was shirtless which was unusual as the air was always crisp and frosty.
"You built this-for me?" she indicated around her in amazement.
Ned always looked sad but today his face was sadder, he looked away from Catelyn and looked around the temple.
"It's the only thing I could think of that might bring you back to me. I know it's different here, we aren't the same people you're used to. But we are good, devout people in our own way. And I thought this might be the best way to show you you're-welcome here"
Tears streamed down her cheeks as he spoke and she realised how stupid she had been. 'Stupid, stubborn girl, she thought to herself, he tried to make amends many times and I shunned him. What kind of woman am I?'
Ned turned back to look at Catelyn when he finished speaking and she ran to him and put her arms tightly around his body, hugging him close and hiding the extent of her tears from him. Ned was shocked at this show of emotion and gingerly put his hands around his wife and held her close in the dark sept.
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Over time the ice from Catelyn froze and the woman Ned married began returning. She still struggled with the presence of baby Jon but Ned didn't expect her to warm to him straight away. Ned kept the babies apart as best he could but those boys refused to be far from one another. Cousins being raised as brothers their bond was strong from the first time they saw each other. They began throwing fitful tantrums when they were separated, so for the peace of the castle Ned bid the children's nurses to have them be together daily. Catelyn tried to argue but Ned was firm, it was better this way.
Where possible Ned spent one on one time with Jon, playing with him and giving him the love he was missing from Lyanna. His dark hair and grey eyes were all Lyanna, it shocked him how no one noticed this either. He was worried at how well he sold this lie that none bothered to question it. Ned sighed as he bounced the baby on his lap and the boy watched him with his soulful eyes. The look the toddler gave him made Ned sure the boy knew, he smiled at the boy and held him close whispering in his ear.
"Your mother loves you and will see you again my boy"
Jon giggled and smiled, his grey eyes shining bright. Ned looked around startled to make sure no one saw the boys eyes shining in this way. The light that radiates from them was so bright it was alarming, Ned knew in that moment this was no ordinary boy.
A soft knock sounded at the door and Ned sat the boy on his lap again and bid the messenger to enter. It was Maester Lewin, he smiled when he saw Jon in the room.
"What can I do for you Maester?" smiled Ned, feeling refreshed after some time with Jon.
"A scroll just arrived my Lord and luckily I was the one to receive it. This is for your eyes only, I'd advise you to burn it once you read it" he spoke in a grave enough tone that Neds face looked shocked. What news could this be now? He feared it would be a fresh war or worse Robert was coming North to make amends.
Ned grasped the scroll Maester Lewin held out for him and slowly opened it, he read it several times before checking the seal on the scroll. The colour had drained from his face, Maester Lewin reached down and picked up Jon from Neds lap and let him process what he read.
"A babe?" murmured Ned, "another babe?"
The information literally hurt Neds head, he braced his head in his hands and wondered when life would just sail along easily.
"Yes it seems your family has many secrets hidden in its children" said the Maester sternly.
Ned shot his head up and met his gaze, "You know don't you"
"Sadly I do know my Lord, remember I helped bring you and your siblings into the world. And this one does not have your features" he said as he fondly looked down at Jon, who blew a raspberry back in the Maester's face.
Ned shook his head as he struggled to contain the memories of her skin against his and those beautiful purple eyes in his mind.
"Catelyn will leave me if she knows" replied Ned numbly.
"Then don't tell her, men don't often tell their wives everything. Especially when there is much at stake"
"What do I do? I can't ignore a child of mine, I'm not the king" said Ned bitterly.
"Do what's right Ned, in whatever capacity that is for you, and for the good of this House. It won't do anyone any good to have you two separated again, you need to fix your marriage. Unfortunately this has come at a terrible time, I see you have reconciled," he sighed and jiggled Jon on his hip, "you need to be here not dreaming of what could've been elsewhere"
Ned sat quietly and turned the scroll in his hands, "I love that woman," he said barely above a whisper and Maester Lewin could hear the tears in his voice.
"I never said you didn't, if Brandon was alive your union could've been possible. But now as Leader of the North you need good relations with the Leaders closest to you and Dorne does not come high on that list"
"Aye I know, believe me"
"What will you have me do?" questioned Maester Lewin
Ned looked up to one of the men he trusted deeply, "I can't ignore this, or her. Send some Northmen to Starfall with Stark banners and gold. My brother abandoned Ashara but I won't be doing that"
He would do what was right by those boys, and he'd be dammed if he would let them remain with their last name Sand. With a flourish he wrote the decree and showed Maester Lewin who raised his eyebrows.
"Are you sure?"
"Without a doubt, send some men to Starfall and order them to hand this to Ashara and only Ashara. From this day on those boys will be known as Stark"
"Boys?" questioned Maester Lewin with a smile
"Aye, she has one by Brandon as well" he blanched in embarrassment for keeping the secret
"There may be some who claim the son of Brandon lays claim to your title," warned Lewin with a pointed look.
"I can't legitimise one and not the other" replied Ned simply, "it's the right thing to do. When the time comes if there is any opposition we will face it then. Besides, I never really wanted to be the leader Maester, if it's best for the North I'll stand aside for my nephew"
Maester Lewin scoffed, "You can't be serious? The North needs YOU, not a babe"
Ned shrugged, "What will be will be Maester, I've made enough mistakes now I'm doing what's right as much as I can"
Maester Lewin didn't look as if he agreed, he indicated Jon, "And what about this one?" Ned shook his head.
"I'm afraid I can't Maester Lewin, I'm not in the position to change the boys name when he's legitimate by another name"
Maester Lewin smiled and shook his head knowingly, "I suspected as much"
Taking the scroll Maester Lewin handed Jon back to Ned smiling at the boy as he recognised Lyannas features, "Secrets are never good son, they have a way of blowing up in the faces of those protecting them"
"Aye I know, believe me"
Maester Lewin smiled and patted Neds back reassuringly, "We all make mistakes young Wolf, you're making the best choices with what's in front of you. You have my full support"
He made to leave Ned alone with Jon but stopped at the door and looked back at how Ned handled Jon with loving care.
"Your Father would be proud of the man and leader you've become"
Ned looked up to his Maester and nodded gratefully, "I try to uphold our name as best I can"
Without another word Maester Lewin exited shutting the door quietly behind him, Ned watched the door close before taking his attention back to Jon and the scroll.
Ned read the scroll again, 'Our son, Edric Sand was born this past fortnight. I thought you should know'
A son, this time really his son, born as a result of the false war for his sisters life. Catelyn definitely can't find out about this, with one flick of his hand the scroll fell into the fire and dissolved to ash while he watched.
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The year slipped by quickly and Ned fast become accustomed to his role as Warden of the North. He had no word personally from the King and this relieved Ned, he wanted to just move on with his life and forget. Catelyn was by his side growing closer and closer along with her stomach which was getting fuller by the day with their second child. From what Maester Lewin suspected, a girl. This pleased Ned and internally he was thankful he hadn't sent that note to Hoster Tully to annul their marriage. After strengthening his position and working to ensure Wintertown was prospering Ned decided it was time to take his sons to meet the Northern Lords.
Ned sat at his desk while Catelyn sat by the fire with Robb at the breast, their first born draped around her growing stomach. Ned glanced up and smiled a little at the sight before him, it warmed his heart and inside he was relieved he could find some kind of happiness in his marriage. Quickly he pushed thoughts of Ashara away and firmly locked her memories away, it would do him no good to dwell on what cannot be. Catelyn stared into the fire seemingly lost in thought, Ned knew his wife much better by now. Something was worrying her.
His quill was poised over the next scroll to be sent out announcing his plans and without looking up at her he spoke, "Something is troubling you Cat what is it"
He felt rather than saw her snap back to reality, "I'm just thinking of my family Ned, I get homesick sometimes you know"
Ned finished his scroll and put down his quill looking at her evenly, she had a fake smile plastered on her face to reassure him. Somehow he was able to hear her thoughts, and his heart dropped inside.
"It's Jon, you don't want him to come"
Immediately her face darkened slightly, "It's not that at all" she returned defensively.
Ned sighed and braced his forehead trying to find the right words to calm her fears, "The boy does not bear the Stark name, he is no threat to you or our son. I really thought this would be clear to you now"
Her face reddened with anger at his words, "How do I know you won't decide to legitimise him in the future?"
Ned eyes saddened, she couldn't let this go and how could he blame her?
"We've seen what happened when the Targaryen bastards thought they deserved more. What about with our family?" she demanded and Ned could tell she had been dwelling on this for longer than he realised.
Ned sighed, exasperated and suddenly became very tired of having to placate her concerns. She did have a point but it never sunk in to her that Jon would never have a claim to the North.
"Our son will rule the North, nobody else. I won't talk of this again," he replied in a form enough tone to suppress her arguments which were forming on her tongue.
Still with a dark expression on her face she stood and dropped Robb on his lap, "If you'll excuse me" she said stiffly as she hastily left the room and slammed the door behind her. Ned sighed again, he didn't trust her outbursts to actually tell her the truth. Who knew what servant would overhear her who might be a spy, he was well aware there were spies from the south in his castle. He couldn't risk Jon's safety for a woman who had no control over her temper and flew into rages. No matter how justified she was to be angry with Ned, this had gone on long enough.
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Being free of Winterfell and its demands was needed for Ned, being out in the open travelling to the Houses of his bannermen invigorated him. More so than he was expecting. He saw the raised eyebrows at the presence of his bastard, he heard the whispers which occurred everywhere except for GreyWater Watch, Bear Island and White Harbour. Ned took note of this, especially at the Dreadfort where he was very happy to leave. There had always been an uneasy peace between the Starks and the Bolton's and he felt it even more now for some reason he couldn't identify. Every House welcomed them and pledged their support and allegiance like they always had. Ned believed some more than others, he noticed that he began to pick up when lies were being told and one was harbouring feelings of discontent. It unsettled Ned that he had picked this up from more than one House. He expected it from the Bolton's but not some of the others, which led him to suspect there had been whispers between those Houses. But this realisation wasn't something that Ned wasnt comfortable exploring. He chose to visit GreyWater Watch last because Howland was his staunchest and most loyal ally and would give him the best advice.
The floating castle had always intrigued Ned and few had ever set foot on it, let alone spent time there and got to know its people. The crannogmen were a secretive and elusive group, but once you had their loyalty they were staunch supporters and loyal without question. Howland put on feasts for Ned and his sons, regaled them with their music and let Ned attend their sacred ceremonies to the Old Gods. Ned was glad he kept GreyWater watch to last, he felt cleansed by his time with the Old Gods. Evenings he spent with Howland in his private quarters which had a terrace overlooking the swirling mists, drinking the peculiar ale the crannogmen brewed from bitter herbs that grew in the marshes.
The men spoke of their children and their hopes for them as they grow, recounted the tales of war and confessed their deepest worries. After talking for some time Ned fell silent, and Howland filled his cup with more ale pushing it across the table to his friend.
Ned took the cup with a smile, "I've learnt much in my travels Howland, about the Lords I must rely on in times of need and war and about myself as their leader"
"You've come to see the truth that lies behind their words havent you Ned?" replied Howland seriously.
Ned nodded his face grave, "There is trouble brewing Howland, it might not be tomorrow but something is coming. I haven't been able to shake that feeling since leaving the Dreadfort"
"That place is steeped in the blood of your ancestors, it would have that effect on any Stark who enters"
Ned shook his head, "This is different, I saw something in Roose Bolton's eyes, flashes of thoughts, scrolls and alliances. I've not slept right since"
Howland looked curious and Ned continued, "If what I saw is right half my bannermen are planning treachery against me and my family"
Howland sat back and his mind ticked over what Ned had said, "if this is true you need a plan. You can't call these Houses out on a vision or hunch alone..."
"Aye I know, and I've been trying to think of what is the best move. But so far nothing seems right"
"For centuries our people have firmly stuck to each other, if this is breached the North could be broken forever. Have you considered looking outside the North for strength?"
Ned raised his eyebrow, "I would be the first of my line to raise an army from beyond the North to protect my position"
"People in power change their strategies all the time," shrugged Howland, "we have the largest kingdom based on terrain but we are the most insular. If you don't start looking to create connections based on strength then you might find your head on a spike"
"Is that what you see?" retorted Ned bitterly, "thousands of years peaceful rule and a few jealous families take it all?"
"Don't be surprised Ned, people always want more power especially when it's within their reach"
"What would you do?" queried Ned to his friend, "if you were in my position?"
Howland sipped his drink and thought for a moment, "Your children Ned, you make peace and strengthen your House with your children. If you're ever attacked and injured their ties will help retain your power"
"My children are babes, one isn't even born yet" he joked.
"It's never too early to join the game" said Howland seriously. Ned smirked at his friends tone, and drained his ale. The bitter taste washing through his mouth but warming him unexpectantly, Howland saw the empty cup and promptly filled it.
"Seek the Old Gods Ned, let them guide you. The path will become clear"
Ned remained for a few days and learned more ways to connect with the Old Gods, Howlands people are the most devout to them in the North. And Ned felt a calling to connect on a deeper level, he found his ability to know people's thoughts and intentions intensified and he had prophetic dreams. Sometimes they frightened him, the time had come to depart though and Howland gave him some more practices to continue back at Winterfell.
"Daily practice will ease the visions, but for those that repeat take note of them," said Howland wisely pointing to his head, "they're repeating for a reason"
Ned pulled his friend into a tight embrace and thanked him quietly for his hospitality. The intriguing castle had floated to a jetty enabling Ned and his small party to disembark. To Neds surprise horses waited for them, as GreyWater Watch disappeared into the mists Ned watched while his men saddled up their rides. Jon and Robb played with reeds like swords laughing and running around Neds legs. Jon's nose seemed runny and Ned wiped it, his forehead was hot but Ned didn't think anything of it. The boys were always warm from tearing around and about one another, he scooped up the giggling boys and handed them to one of his men.
Halfway home Ned heard a shout from behind him, he circled back to see what the commotion was and was shocked to see a limp Jon slung across the horse. His cheeks were flushed and he was unconscious, immediately his mind flashed back to the moment he wiped his nose. He swore internally, and frantically pulled Jon down from the rider and jumped on his own horse gripping the boy tightly in his arms. From behind he heard Robb cry out for his brother, worried.
"Two riders come with me we ride at haste for Winterfell," he looked around to the others, "keep your weapons close men and ride as fast as you can, if you're attacked protect Robb at all costs"
Several men looked confused but others looked resolute, Ned turned and galloped towards home with Jon limp in his arm.
His body was sore from the awkward position he rode in to accomodate holding Jon, but he refused to change until he got off the horse and the boy was safe. The castle gate was thrown up quickly to let Ned in and he burst into the inner bailey where Catelyn waited for him. Her stomach was swollen and Ned could tell she looked fatigued from carrying the babe, she looked bewildered when only Ned and two riders were there with Jon.
Ned jumped from his horse and pushed the unwell child into her arms, she looked down at him as if she'd been given a sack of potatoes. But Ned pushed him forward and pleaded with his eyes, "Take him to the Maester, I don't know what else to do"
Despite herself Catelyn worried for the boy, he looked sick beyond the reach of a Maesters care. Before she could say anything else Ned was back on his horse and out the gate, galloping back to meet his men and ensure Robb was safe. Branches whipped across their path and the icy air streamed into Neds face as he anxiously rode worry in his heart. Trouble was brewing and he was shocked, he would take no chances. He was relieved when he found his riders and Robb, they rode together back to Winterfell, Neds anxiety wouldn't rest until they were back within the walls.
As soon as he was in the stables his mind sharply turned back to Jon, something was wrong. He knew he had to check on the boy before he went in search of that vial Wylla had given him, the healing serum. Pacing through the castle halls his anxiety grew, he broke into a run and burst into Jon's room. The door crashed open and caused a loud crash to echo through the room, he found Catelyn there startled holding a pillow over Jon's face as the boy lay unconscious.
Fury boiled fast within him and he snarled loudly in anger, striding forward and grasping his wife by the shoulders throwing her back into a cushioned chair and pulling the pillow from the boys face. Catelyn was shuddering sobs and Ned frantically checked if the boy was alive, he searched for a pulse and found none. He breathed into his mouth and pushed on his chest frantically, shocked servants entered the room and he screamed at them to get the Maester. He continued trying to revive the boy while Catelyn heaved sobs in the corner.
At one point Ned looked at his wife with fury and anger across his face, "Shut the fuck up" he said with coldness and fury. Looking back over the boy tears streaming down his face all he could say was, "No, no, no!!!" He pulled the boy into his arms and sobbed loudly until he felt the Maesters hands on his shoulder, he let Maester Lewin take the boy and examine him.
He looked up at Ned gravely, "The boy lives, but only just"
Ignoring Catelyns cries Ned strode toward the door and paused to look back, "that woman is not to be left alone with him," and he paused before adding, "or Robb either"
Angrily he pushed out of the room ignoring Catelyns anguished pleas following him down the hallway, he didn't stop until he reached his office. Pulling drawers open frantically he threw items and papers around the room looking, searching for that tiny vial from Wylla. It was nowhere to be found, he screamed in anger and frustration. Standing behind his desk he leaned forward and closed his eyes, his emotions were out of control, he breathed in and called the Old Gods.
'Save the boy, guide me to the serum'
He saw it in his mind, in Wyllas hand, in his bag, in his top drawer. He went back again to the drawer, it wasn't there, he checked the second and third drawer it wasn't there. His last effort to find it, he reached behind the third drawer pleading for it to have maybe fallen behind the drawers. He sobbed in relief as his hand clasped two vials in his hand, pulling them out he kissed them both fervently. And tucking them into his robes he tore from the room to give Jon the serum to help him recover.
Under the careful watch of Maester Lewin, Ned dropped one drop into the boys mouth. After several minutes colour rose on his cheeks and his breathing steadied.
Maester Lewin and Ned smiled in relief, "The serum worked" said the Maester smoothing back the boys hair, "Can I ask what happened here?"
Ned gritted his teeth, "She tried to kill him"
The Maesters face blanched, "What will you do now?"
"I'm not sure," admitted Ned, "I'm torn between throwing her in the dungeons until the babe is born or taking her head now"
Maester Lewin rested his hand over Neds, "Go Ned take some time I'll watch over the boy no harm will come to him. Please I implore you don't make a hasty decision"
Ned nodded and knew he was right, he kissed Jon's forehead gently and took one look back at him before leaving the room. The image of Catelyn holding the pillow over Jon's head refused to leave Neds mind, his anger boiled as he walked through the castle. The only place he could go right now where he wouldn't make a hasty decision was the Godswood. Ned found himself looking up at the tree and falling to his knees and crying uncontrollably as the severity of what had just happened to Jon washed over Ned.
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Exhausted mentally Ned sat amongst the weirwood roots, the events of the day draining his energy and filling him with sadness. His nephew had nearly been murdered today by a woman crazed on anger and revenge. Ned came to see Cat in a new light and he didn't think he could carry on with her as his wife. He had severed a life long friendship over the murder of children, he could end his marriage over the same situation. Staring into the glassy black pool by the tree Ned grew tired after the high emotions of the day, laying amongst the roots of the weirwood unable to fight the tiredness. The roots underneath Ned began to glow an eerie white as he laid on the roots, they pulsed with energy which cocooned around his body.
Ned didn't realise he was in a dream, he could feel the cool air around him and wondered where he was. It was cold, much colder than home. His breath came out in plumes around him, he instinctively moved to the light. And what he saw there took his breath away, a man was suspended encased amongst the roots of a weirwood tree. He was part man part tree now and his glazed over eyes returned their clarity and gazed at Ned.
"You seek guidance from the old gods Lord Stark" croaked the tree man to Ned
Ned bowed his head in shame, "I would've lost my son today" he started
The tree man smiled slightly, "You knew he was in danger, there is magic in your blood Stark. It just needs to be awakened"
Ned looked around the cave and gingerly stepped forward, "My wife-" he started
"Has her place to play at Winterfell Lord Stark. The truth must be told, or the boy will never be out of danger"
Ned eyes the man suspiciously, "Who is my son? Do you know?"
The tree man smiled mysteriously, "The Three Eyed Raven knows all the children of men"
"What if I tell her and she stays the same?"
"Then Lord Stark you have the right to proceed however you wish. There are more wolf pups to be born, don't be so hasty or some important people will never be born. Your family line has greatness within it, and more greatness is to come"
Ned looked around the cave and at the roots up close, "These roots are ancient, where am I?"
"You're at home Lord Stark and I'm in my home. It is time for me to go elsewhere though, remember Lord Stark more greatness is to come"
Next moment Ned sits up and looks around, he's back in the Godswood. He can smell the earth and feel the roots under his hands and back. Momentarily confused he remembers the words that were spoken, the truth must be told.
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Catelyns eyes were red from crying, seperated from her child by order of her husband and feeling like a part of her had been taken from her. She can't blame him, what she did was hideous. Now she was under guard in her former chambers, cradling her growing stomach she didn't know what fate awaited her. At the worst she expected to be short a head by sun down, but she hoped the growing babe was enough to keep her alive. At the least she would be returned to Riverrun after the babe was born.
After what felt like hours Ned entered her room and sat across from her, his face grave and stricken. Catelyn refused to meet his gaze and he sighed in sadness.
"You committed treason today Cat" he said quietly, barely audible above a whisper.
Her head whipped to glare at him, "I refuse to be in this House with that boy, you insult me by insisting he live here. My father-"
"Would remove your head from your shoulders if I tell him what you did today. He would do so without a single thought of you being his first born. The shame you've brought to your house will be devastating"
Catelyn knew he was right, tears welled up in her eyes and she defiantly looked away. She had nothing to defend her actions with this fight, she was being sentenced to death and she knew it.
"Once the babe comes I'll accept whatever sentence you give me. I deserve it"
Ned moved his chair closer to her and spoke very quietly, Cat thought it strange he was whispering in his own castle.
"Cat," he said she briefly glanced at him before looking away, "look at me"
He spoke quietly but with more authority, knowing better than to refuse she glared at him.
"You will remain here until I say so. You'll bear more children to me and you'll speak of this to no one. For your House will be shamed and lose their seat as leaders of the Riverlands for what you've done"
She opened her mouth to argue but Ned tiredly raised his hand and leant forward.
"You tried to kill the only known living member of a former ruling House today"
Cat glared at him for the longest time, his words didn't make sense to her. Her mind raced as she tried to piece together what her husband had said.
Ned knew she would figure it out eventually but helped her along, "That boy the one you tried to murder today was not born to a town woman after a bloody battle Catelyn"
His gaze met hers and she could tell from the pain in his eyes he was telling the truth, her anger immediately melted to shame and sadness when she realised what he meant
"Lyanna," she breathed, "he is Lyanna-"
Ned raised a finger to his lips and shook his head to stop her verbalising her thoughts. Catelyn shuddered a sob and covered her face with her hands heaving and crying in shame and relief. All at once she realised the anger she felt at Ned bringing another woman's baby home was wrong and misguided. She had made so many mistakes, monstrous mistakes.
"Please Ned forgive me" she sobbed quietly as she lunged forward and grabbed her husbands big hands in hers. Kneeling by his feet his hands grasped in hers, her eyes were red rimmed and puffy. Ned saw the remorse in her eyes.
"Please, please forgive me" she pleaded as Ned pulled her closer to him and held her as she cried and cried in his arms.