Chapter 4: Cancer
Neo-Queen Serenity reached down to pet the blue-furred Laborador Retriever that was sitting by her feet.
"You're so sweet, Fuyumi. I think I like you best of the Zodiac dogs," Serenity sighed happily.
"That's probably because your Zodiac servant, Sailor Cancer, is under my care," Fuyumi reminded her, pawing at the pine green star pendant that was on the floor in front of her. The door to the throne room opened and Jasmine, the youngest of the Johnson sisters, came in. Like her sisters, she had dark skin, and she wore her turquoise hair in a shoulder-length style that was similar to Hotaru Tomoe's hair. With her was Sparkle O'Brien, the Irish exchange student.
"Hi, Serenity! Mommy said you wanted to see me, and Sparkle was curious too so she followed!" Jasmine announced cheerfully. Fuyumi nudged the pendant towards the girl with her paw, looking rather nervous.
"Are you sure you're Sailor Cancer? You're a little too eager. Shouldn't you be more cautious?" Fuyumi asked.
"Sailor Cancer? Yes, be very afraid! You are the disease Senshi who will make everyone sick! WOOO!" declared Sparkle, holding her hands up over Jasmine's head dramatically.
"I think Cancer's a Zodiac sign, silly. It's the crab. But I'm not the crabby one, Samantha is," Jasmine giggled.
"She's Sailor Libra. You, on the other hand, must take this pendant and perform your duty as Sailor Cancer. Your powers are quite special, because they come from the Queen," Fuyumi said importantly.
"Okay! You know what? I bet this will give my glasses magic powers, like make them glow in the dark or shoot energy beams. Like what I heard about Hotaru's dad, Souichi, I heard he had magic glowy glasses," babbled Jasmine as she slipped the pendant over her neck.
"No, I think you have pumpkin powers," Fuyumi corrected her seriously.
"And I don't think Hotaru's dad had glowy glasses. At least, when I saw him, I just thought it was a trick of the light," Serenity added. Although, she thought, maybe he did. He did have some crazy inventions, and glow-in-the-dark glasses aren't that far off.
"Aww...oh well. At least I HAVE glasses," Jasmine said with a shrug. She then turned to Sparkle. "You should wear glasses too. You'd look prettier with them. Glasses with rainbow-colored frames, that match your hair."
"Really? Do you think glasses are sexy?" Sparkle teased flirtaceously.
"NOOO! Not that! Why would glasses say that boys are better than girls?" asked Jasmine confusedly.
"That's not what she means. Sexist and sexy are two different words. The first is about discrimination and the second just means you think someone's good looking," Fuyumi corrected her quickly.
"Oh. You know who's also, um...sexy? Taiki, one of those new Starlights. Because she also sometimes wears glasses," Jasmine said, trying to use the new word she had just been taught. Upon hearing Taiki's name, Sparkle began to laugh heartily.
"Taiki! Taiki's got a hilarious Senshi power! Star Gentle...Uterus! Hey, I bet she's got uterus powers or something! And then she throws the uterus at the enemies! Kapow! Splat! And it makes the enemies want to have sex because the Starlights look just like dominatrixes!" Sparkle cheered. Serenity just stared at her in shock and covered Jasmine's ears.
"Stop that. Not in front of the children. She's only 8," she scolded.
"Well, that's ample time to learn. It's not like sex ISN'T a part of life. In fact, if it wasn't, no one would be born," shrugged Sparkle matter-of-factly. Serenity was about to protest when Jasmine struggled out of her grasp.
"Stop covering my ears! I wanna explore and find out what people are saying! I hate it when people don't want me to hear stuff just 'cause I'm a kid!" she whined, stamping her foot.
"Virgo, that's not appropriate for your sign anyway. You're supposed to be pure and maidenly, and not talk about such crude things," sniffed Fuyumi, "And why are you here anyway? This isn't time for your Sailor powers yet. And the Queen didn't call you in; it's awfully rude for you to burst in uninvited on her private conversation with Jasmine."
"Now, Fuyumi, it's okay. She can stay if she wants to. She's allowed to live here, why can't she come see me? And I never said that it was private," Serenity corrected the dog. Fuyumi sighed but did not retort, wanting to be loyal to the Queen's command. She then yelped in surprise as she saw Sparkle starting to take off her clothes, doing so in a seductive manner.
"Huh? It's not that hot in here, so why are you taking off your clothes?" Jasmine asked her innocently.
"Because...it's fun to be sexy. And what good is it if you can't do it in front of people and shock them?" Sparkle replied with a smirk as she flung off her t-shirt, showing that she was wearing nothing underneath. She then screamed painfully as a bolt of electricity hit her and knocked her to the floor. An elegant-looking girl with short brown hair stepped out of the shadows, staring disapprovingly at her half-naked victim.
"What a shame. Truly, she has the fine tastes of a barroom toilet," the girl sniffed snootily. Serenity gasped.
"Niji! Minako's been worried sick about you!" she exclaimed.
"Really? She needn't worry. I'll save her from those awful, crude Zodiac Senshi," Niji cooed patronizingly to the Queen.
"Hey! You hurt me, you !" shouted Sparkle, flinging her shirt at Niji, who blasted it aside with another lightning bolt.
"Stop throwing electricity around! I'm the electric one here! Electric with excitment and energy! Cancer Zodiac Power, Make Up!" Jasmine yelled, jumping up and transforming with her new pendant. When the process was finished, she was wearing a dark green Senshi outfit with brown bows.
"Oh, honestly, that skirt is much too short and revealing for a child to wear. And do you really think you can beat me? Niji the classy, elegant one?"
"I'll show you! Cancer Pumpkin Crush!" Sailor Cancer retorted, and, befitting her words, she threw a few large pumpkins at Niji. They crashed on top of her, and she fell over in a mess of pumpkin goo. Niji stood up, glaring fiercely at the child warrior.
"That will cost you for ruining my looks," she hissed, and she blasted Sailor Cancer across the room with a bolt of electricity. However, while she was busy doing so, Sparkle snuck up behind Niji and pulled her skirt down. Standing up dazedly with her hair and Senshi outfit crackling with electricity, Sailor Cancer couldn't help but giggle when she saw her attacker in such a state.
"I see London, I see France, I see Niji's underpants!" she taunted.
"That's quite crude, especially in front of a child. Now...OOF!" Niji gasped. She had been scolding Sparkle and pulling her skirt back up, however, Sparkle took the distraction to shove Niji, who fell over and landed back in the pumpkin mess. Sailor Cancer raised her hands to attack again, but she did not need to, as Niji got up and disappeared in a flash of green without even saying goodbye.
"She's...gone. And she could've won, too, enough electric shocks and she probably would've had both of us out," Sailor Cancer remarked.
"She didn't want to look dirty anymore. The pumpkin goo and the fact that the pumpkin shards cut her and made her bleed. All of that made for one messy girl who didn't want to stay and get messier," said Sparkle.
"I still think you should be more sensitive to others' feelings. You shouldn't embarrass even your enemies with rhymes about such things," sniffed Fuyumi.
"Aww, don't blame the wee one, I was the one who pulled her skirt off," giggled Sparkle, patting the blue dog on the head.
"That's even worse for you, Virgo, you're supposed to be much more modest. Speaking of which, put your shirt back on. We do not need to see your bare chest," Fuyumi chided.
"But you're a dog. We can see your nipples if you roll over 'cause you don't wear clothes," Sparkle pointed out. Fuyumi rolled her eyes.
"I DO wear clothes, it is called my fur. You need to put yours back on, it is improper behavior for your sign," she sighed.