Chapter 14: Earth
Like Miharu, Chinatsu also had a plan to get the Earth Sign Zodiac Senshi to understand what they should be like. However, she was not so impulsive, and decided to have this activity take place at the Palace, where the other Senshi, including the Starlights, could be around to help if trouble struck. Chinatsu's plan was to have Makoto and Hotaru teach Kristina, Sparkle, and Alexandra how to cook, being an attempt to get the girls in touch with practical and sensual things. Makoto and Hotaru decided that they could make a vanilla cake, that way, if any of the dogs ended up eating some, it wouldn't hurt them the way a chocolate cake would.
"Why do we need to make a cake? Can't I just use my powers? I mean, Sailor Gemini makes muffins, right, and I have candy powers, and a cake is like a candy muffin, so if we combined, we could make a cake using magic!" Alexandra declared when she heard about the plan.
"You won't always have your powers, though, you won't need them after the battle is over. You need to learn how to do everyday chores, especially for when you grow up. And that applies to all of you," Chinatsu lectured. She glared at Sparkle. "You're already 20, and you don't know how to cook?! Shame on you."
"I don't mind learning. As long as we can do that thing where a naked person pops out of the cake and sings," Sparkle snickered.
"The WHAT?! How would that happen? You can't bake a person in a cake, they'll die!" Chinatsu shouted in horror.
"I would assume that when someone pops out of a cake, they're not baked in it, silly dog," Makoto said, "But I don't quite know how it's done."
"I don't want to make a cake if I can't pop out of it naked," Sparkle pouted.
"Maybe you could do that, but then you'd be a zombie, and you'd eat the cake and then our brains!" Kristina giggled.
"Enough! This is part of being a Senshi! You need to get in touch with the side of you that knows how do routine household chores!" Chinatsu demanded.
"Don't scare them away. We can make it fun and make wild decorations on it if you want," Makoto coaxed.
"Hey, I wanted to! Sparkle just wants to have sex with a cake or something!" Alexandra blurted out. Sparkle smiled mischeviously at the idea, but then it faded when she decided that a cake would be a rather boring sexual partner and would be better for eating. Finally, the five humans and one Yorkshire Terrier headed into the kitchen to make their cake. When they got there, they found Taiki waiting for them, with the ingredients already spread out on the counter.
"It's the silly alien! It's the one who's scared of falling in love or something. But I still like her because she has the Uterus attack," Sparkle blurted out.
"Don't make fun of Taiki because she's sexually repressed. It's probably because of things that happened to her as a child, like how she wasn't potty trained and can't poop," Alexandra argued. Taiki stared at both of them, shocked to hear such things about herself.
"Honestly, my bodily waste functions are working properly, Miss Alexandra, that comment wasn't needed," she scolded coolly.
"I don't think anal-rententive is meant to be taken literally! You made her sound like a dog!" Sparkle snickered.
"Some parents are very cruel to their children, though! And those kids end up being all uptight and acting just like poor Taiki!" Alexandra retorted.
"This is a cooking class! You're not here to psychoanalyze Taiki's childhood, especially when you know nothing about it!" Chinatsu snapped.
"Poor puppy, you were probably hit with bricks when you didn't do what your owners said, and now you're too obsessed with rules," Alexandra gushed, grabbing Chinatsu in a big hug. Chinatsu yelped in anger and bit Alexandra, jumping out of her arms. She then ran behind Hotaru and glared at the young aspiring psychoanalyst.
"Stop it. Just stop it. A real psychologist doesn't jump to conclusions, you're supposed to let the patients tell you their problems. And that's not a good job for a Capricorn anyway, it deals with emotions and people too much," Chinatsu snapped. While the dog and Alexandra were arguing, Makoto, Sparkle and Kristina had started making the cake.
"First we need to measure out the flour, baking soda, and salt and then mix them together," Makoto said. Kristina giggled.
"This says it's baking soda, but it looks dry. Isn't soda a kind of drink?"
"Yes, but this is a different kind. I don't know why they are both called 'soda,' but that's what it's called," Makoto said. Kristina stared at the box and then gasped, a big grin spreading across her face.
"I know what this is used for! You put it with vinegar and it makes a big explosion! Let's make that kind of cake!" she exclaimed eagerly.
"Yeah, then if we did that, I could dress up in a sexy maid outfit and pretend to clean the floor," added Sparkle.
"No, I don't think we want to blow up the cake. We're making this for Zylphia's birthday, and we also want to be able to eat it. And the recipe doesn't call for vinegar, that wouldn't taste very good," Makoto corrected them.
"Some cakes do have vinegar in them, though," Kristina pointed out.
"Yes, but that's if you don't use eggs, which we're going to use in this cake. Maybe you can do a science experiment some other time, though," Makoto said.
"No! You're not supposed to want to experiment! That's for Gemini and Aquarius people!" shouted Chinatsu, turning away from her argument with Alexandra. Kristina turned away from the counter, glaring at the Yorkshire terrier puppy.
"Quit telling me how to act!" she yelled back, and she grabbed the box of sugar off of the counter and threw it at Chinatsu, who jumped aside. The box hit the floor, and sugar spilled all over the place. Makoto stared at both of them, the girl and the dog, unsure who to scold first.
"How wasteful. Bertha was definitely correct about you being evil," sighed a new voice. Shirahime Tenou was standing in the doorway, looking like she had been watching the group for awhile.
"I'm not evil! Taurus Zodiac Power, Make Up!" shouted Kristina indignantly.
"Virgo Zodiac Power, Make Up!" added Sparkle.
"Capricorn Zodiac Power, Make Up!" finished Alexandra.
"Do you really want to fight in here? You know, Makoto and the others are the heartless ones, making you fight their own children. Maybe you shouldn't be Zodiac Senshi," Shirahime smirked.
"I could say the same to you. Why are you fighting your own parents? I mean, I know Haruka isn't in here right now, but what if she was? Maybe you have some kind of rebel complex or something like that? Many children get upset with their parents, but when it comes to blows, that's usually a sign of being mentally messed up," Sailor Capricorn retorted.
"Are you saying I'm insane? What about Bertha? She's the one who told us to fight. Maybe our parents have something evil about them. Didn't Haruka once join Galaxia?" Shirahime replied, still smirking.
"Why are you taking orders from this Bertha person? You almost sound like you joined her on purpose, that you wanted an excuse to fight your parents and their friends," Sailor Capricorn accused.
"Just get her out of the way! Virgo Prism Halation!" Sailor Virgo shouted, shooting rainbow-colored energy beams out of her fingers. Shirahime countered with an identical attack and the two sets of beams bounced off of each other, shot up, and broke holes in the ceiling.
"Stop it! Shirahime was talking it out with us, you didn't need to go and do that! Maybe if we talk to her, we can convince her to come back to us!" Makoto scolded. Shirahime shrugged.
"That sounds reasonable. You know, maybe I have more than one duty. The duty to my mother, Haruka Tenou, and also my duty to Bertha. Since they are impossible to fulfill at the same time, I will retreat and decide later who to follow," she said calmly, and then teleported away.
"Well, at least you girls didn't wreck the kitchen anymore. Get back to work at cleaning up that sugar and then we can finish making the cake," Chinatsu ordered. Makoto shook her head.
"We can teach them another time. This time, they can buy the cake for Zylphia. Alexandra did something very good, she may be able to convince our children to come back without violence."