This. Chapter. Is. Finished!

And all the villagers rejoiced!
Huzzah!

Thank you all so much for your patience! This chapter proved to be every bit of the challenge I expected it to be, but I am very happy with how it turned out.

See end of chapter for more notes.

Chapter 10: Paralyzed
Summary: Usagi was nothing but a coward.
A weak, spineless, selfish coward.

Who is Tsukino Usagi?

The lines between her two selves were more muddled than ever; the memories coming faster and faster, invading and warring with those of her life as Usagi.

She felt disconnected from herself, as if her mind was floating.

Flitting.

Vacillating.

Spiraling.

Tsukino Usagi.

Princess Serenity.

Moon.

Earth.

Present day.

Thousands of years ago.

Ornate dresses, royal protocol and etiquette

School uniforms and exams; lazy afternoons

Forbidden romance.

Usagi and Serenity looked the same, yet didn't.

Their friends and lover were the same, yet different.

A doting yet distant mother, an expectation of behavior and achievement.

Ikuko?

No...

Ikuko expected better grades than the ones Usagi always brought home, but she was always available to Usagi whenever she needed her.

Queen Serenity, her eponym, though she loved her daughter very much, was so busy with matters of sovereignty that the care and education of her daughter was so often left to nannies, tutors, and later, her senshi.

No, no, no.

She wasn't Usagi's mother.

She was Princess Serenity's.

Which memories were Usagi's?
And which were Serenity's?

Who is Princess Serenity?

Modest house in Tokyo, comfort and stability, doting parents and an annoying but loving little brother.

Glittering palace, finest luxuries, staff of servants to cater to her every whim, lively parties, catty courtesans and stuffy royals from other planets.

Scent of car exhaust and wafts of food from nearby restaurants; bustling sounds of people going about their lives, honking car horns, sometimes squealing brakes. The humid, stifling heat radiating off the concrete jungle of her home city, in which the best, most refreshing breezes could be found in open parks or high rooftops.

Artificial winds; climate controlled domes; white, monochrome, and soft pastels.

Untamed wilds and creatures, flora every color of the rainbow, salty breezes that were sometimes refreshing, other times biting and far too cold for a gauzy, sleeveless dress.

Black hair; dark ocean-blue eyes; rough, calloused hands from years of weapons training, riding horses, and navigating the untamed wilderness that was his planet, yet were so gentle when caressing her cheek or trailing her skin. His armor, so hard and cold beneath her fingers, was difficult to remove on her own due to the weight.

Wait…

His hands were actually soft, but no less reverent, and he wore a school uniform: blue blazer, crisp white shirt, and the deep red tie she loved to wind into her hand to pull him down for a kiss.

Deep maternal love.
But now also paternal and sibling.

Guardians who were her dearest friends.

Declarations of love whispered in darkness.
In secret.

Tsukino Usagi.

Princess Serenity.

Ikuko.

Queen Serenity.

Kenji.

Shingo.

Mercury.

Ami.

Mars.

Rei.

Venus.

Sailor V.

Minako.

Prince Endymion.

Chiba Mamoru.

Which memories were Serenity's?

And which were Usagi's?

Who is Tsukino Usa-

"-gi! Usagi! Can you hear me?"

The warm hands clawing into and shaking her shoulders anchored Usagi's mind to the present, her eyes repeatedly blinking as she came back to herself.

Her gaze first fell downward, and it was with a sharp intake of breath that she first registered the black dress shoes. As her eyes traveled up khaki pants, dark blue blazer buttoned over a white shirt and deep red tie, her heart raced and her hand curled against the hope in her chest. But when her now desperate gaze found concerned green eyes instead of warm ocean-blue, and sandy blond hair instead of inky black, her disappointment was so deeply visceral she groaned pitifully, and would have collapsed if not for Motoki's firm grip on her shoulders.

"Toki…" Usagi rasped. Her tongue was too thick and too dry in her mouth.

"Usagi-chan." Motoki's expression and voice were so soft. "Your mother called me absolutely out of her mind, screaming that you left the house without telling her and she had no idea where you were. Kenji-papa and Shingo are out looking for you too."

"Mama… Papa… Shingo…" Usagi's family. Her family.

Motoki watched Usagi carefully, trying to gleam anything at all from her unusually vacant face. When he had approached her, Motoki had taken great care to not step onto her hair, which was pooled on the ground around Usagi and under one of her feet, small bits of debris tangled into the ends. Though it was styled into Usagi's usual buns, her hair was so much longer than he remembered.

"Usagi," Motoki murmured, "do you know where you are right now?"

"Where I am?" Usagi's brows furrowed. She hasn't left her room in days. Where else would she be? But she shifted her incredulous eyes off Motoki's confusing expression anyway, and was wholly unprepared for the sight which greeted her.

Motoki had found her standing in the middle of the sidewalk, motionless and expressionless, her eyes unfocused. Schools had already let out and the day shift was ending so the sidewalks were crowded, and the mass of people had to part around Usagi. Some threw sideways glances, others muttered under their breath about her rudeness. But wherever Usagi's mind was, it was too far away to notice or care

Motoki's hands tightened their grip on her shoulders when she stiffened and then started to tremble.

"What? How? I don't remem…" The corner of Usagi's mouth pulled downward when her voice cracked, her hands twisting together as she fought so desperately not to cry. "This is Mamo-cha-" She gasped and covered her mouth with one small hand as her eyes flew to his, widening when she misconstrued Motoki's shocked expression. "I-I mean, um, Mamoru-k…" But she lost the battle against her tears as the fresh wave of grief crashed down upon her, and her hands lifted to cover her face and wipe away the cascading tears.

Motoki filed away that nickname to process later. "Hey, hey, Usa-chan, it's OK," He patted her back in what he hoped was a comforting manner. "I already know."

Usagi's hands stilled before slowly sliding down her wet face. "What?" She sniffled.

Motoki's smile was so, so sad. If only they were having this conversation under different circumstances. "Mamoru-kun told me about the two of you weeks ago. I don't know how you did it," he said softly, "but I'm so glad it was you."

Usagi smiled at him then, a genuine smile, though small and watery, and Motoki hated himself for what he needed to say next.

"I also know about the other stuff," he said as he finally guided her out of the middle of the sidewalk and against the brick of Mamoru's apartment building, bending down to pick up her hair so the trailing strands wouldn't get stepped on. "I know about Sailor Moon, Tuxedo Kamen, and the other senshi." Motoki continued right over Usagi's stuttered breath and panicked eyes, placing his head next to hers to ensure she heard his next words. "Usagi, I need to know what happened to Mamoru."

Her crestfallen expression was so much harder to bear than he anticipated.

"I'm so sorry, Toki-onii-chan," she cried. "He… while protecting me…" Usagi hiccupped and fruitlessly wiped at her tears. "It's my fault! I-I wasn't… I wasn't strong enough. There was this energy blast, and Mamo-chan, he… he…" Her breath hitched and voice broke. "And they took him, Toki! He's gone, and I don't know where he is, if he's even still ali-"

Motoki crushed Usagi to his chest, holding her tight as her cries quickly devolved into gasping sobs. He just couldn't listen anymore. He thought he could take it, that he could muster up even a fraction of the bravery Usagi and Mamoru conjured on a regular basis to fight monsters in order to properly have this conversation, but he was so, so wrong.

Learning that not only was Mamoru possibly dead, but that it had almost been Usagi instead, was his worst nightmare come to life. And his guilt stabbed him right in the heart. After discovering Mamoru was Tuxedo Kamen and Usagi was Sailor Moon, Motoki had yanked Mamoru over by the lapel of his school uniform blazer and demanded Mamoru make sure nothing happened to Usagi.

Which Mamoru did.
Possibly at the cost of his own life.

In demanding this of Mamoru, Motoki had inadvertently made a choice, prioritizing one of their lives over the other. And it was completely unnecessary. Mamoru wasn't the kind of guy who needed an order to protect the girl he loves, he just does it. It's in his name, for crying out loud.

Surely Mamoru didn't think….?

"Can you get him back?"

Usagi pushed off his now damp chest, tears still coursing down her cheeks. "What?" she hiccupped.

"Mamoru-kun," Motoki leaned down to her face, his green eyes flitting between hers. "Can you get him back?"

Her eyes widened and she tried to step back but Motoki kept his firm grip on her shoulders. "Toki," she groaned. "I told you - I don't know where Mamo-chan is. But even if I did, we still don't know if-"

"No!" Motoki interrupted, and Usagi winced. No more of that. The doubt shining in her eyes made him so, so angry. "Aren't you Sailor Moon? Are you telling me the sailor senshi are incapable of locating the party responsible for kidnapping one of their own? Or are they simply unwilling?"

Motoki was all but screaming now, his hands waving about him, and Usagi frantically looked to the people walking past before returning her attention to his face. "Toki-"

While Motoki didn't stop, he at least had the wherewithal to lower his voice. "The others I can somewhat understand, even if I can't forgive them. Mamoru told me how much they distrusted Tuxedo Kamen." His hands were back to her shoulders, tight and unyielding. "But not you, Usagi. I thought better of you. I thought you loved him."

Fresh tears pooled in her eyes. "I do…" she squeaked.

"Then why have you already given up on him?"

She gasped, and something akin to shame passed over her features. "I'm sorry," she managed through her sobs. "Toki, I'm so, so sorry…"

He walked her home, neither saying a word, the silence of their walk punctuated only by Usagi's sniffles. Just before opening the door, Motoki pulled Usagi in for one last hug.

"Find him, Usagi," He whispered into her hair. "Promise me you'll find Mamoru-kun and bring him home."

He felt the slide of her head against his chest though struggled to hear her strained reply.

"I will."

o0o

Usagi closed her bedroom door and fell against it with a long sigh.

She'd just endured an exhausting hour of repeated apologies to her mother, along with multiple promises to not leave the house again without telling someone. By the end, Ikuko ran out of words, her shocked eyes simply following her fingers through Usagi's grown out and now very dirty, tangled hair, but Usagi shrugged her off with a "Can we please talk about this later?"

Her mother begged Usagi to let her in, to tell her what's been going on the last few days, and her frown when Usagi simply shook her head broke Usagi's heart. The worry lining her mother's indigo eyes was added to the growing pile of guilt weighing down Usagi's chest. She wasn't sure how she managed to breathe sometimes, as crushed as she was by it.

But what does she tell her?

Mama, I just learned that I am a reborn princess who died tragically thousands of years ago, and that the guy I have been dating in secret for the past several months was my lover in that life, and he just maybe died saving me again.

But I'm not yet ready to talk about it.

No, Ikuko would have her committed somewhere because the whole thing was crazy! Usagi was having trouble believing it, how can she expect her mother to understand?

Besides…

Before Motoki shook Usagi back to herself in front of Mamoru's apartment building, the last thing she could remember was grieving Mamoru on Tokyo Tower. She was aware of transforming into Serenity, of the Maboroshi no Ginzuishou crystalizing from her tear, and being attacked again before Mamoru was taken, but she didn't feel physically present at the time. It was though she had merely watched those events unfold through someone else's eyes. Even now, recalling those events was like remembering it from someone else's recollection vs her own.

Her mother wanted to know about the last few days?

Usagi couldn't tell her because she herself didn't know.

The last few days had been spent trapped within her grief and her memories of the past, both of her life as Usagi and as Serenity. How she ended up in front of Mamoru's apartment was a mystery even to her.

Who knows how long she was standing there before Motoki found her, or how much longer she would have stayed if he hadn't.

Motoki…

Usagi smiled softly to herself. Mamoru wasn't as alone in this as she thought. Of all the hardships she and Mamoru faced in keeping their relationship a secret, for Usagi, Mamoru's loneliness was the hardest to bear. Coming home to her family tempered the ache in her heart from another long day of pretending, or distracted her during the long stretches they couldn't be together, but Mamoru came home to an empty apartment. He had nothing, and no one, to distract him other than his school work.

Or so she thought.

She started to ask herself why he didn't tell her, but dismissed it almost immediately. He surely had his reasons, and Usagi didn't want to dwell on what they could be. She was dwelling on enough already.

'…Why have you already given up on him?'

Usagi slid down the hardwood of her bedroom door until she was sitting on her carpet, her face tucked into her folded knees. Motoki's words had pricked the deepest reaches of her heart, the pain sharp and unrelenting.

Because Usagi was nothing but a coward.
A weak, spineless, selfish coward.

While Mamoru was held captive by their greatest enemy of two lifetimes, she had allowed herself to become incapacitated by her grief. What was the Dark Kingdom doing to him; how much he was suffering, while she cried away her woes from the comfort of her warm bed within the sanctuary of her home?

It wasn't that she didn't want to find him - she very much did - but now that her mind was freed from its memory prison, Usagi was afraid. What if they found the Dark Kingdom's lair only to learn Mamoru was dead, either from the wounds he sustained in protecting her, or from whatever depraved tortures the Dark Kingdom decided to inflict upon him?

If he was alive, how could she possibly explain why it took her so long to rescue him? During the hour-long interrogation by her mother, she learned nearly a week has passed since she stumbled home as another person.

One day is too long, let alone seven.

If he wasn't going to break up with her after all this was over because of her weaknesses which allowed him to be captured in the first place, or because she would never be able to live up to the princess of his memory, then abandoning him to the Dark Kingdom for an entire week would certainly give him enough cause to end their relationship.

Usagi just wasn't sure her heart could take it.
And that made her absolutely despicable.

She hasn't even spoken to her senshi since she came home. According to her mother, the girls did stop by occasionally, but there was no way Usagi would have been in her right mind to see them, especially during the last couple of days as she became more and more lost within her psyche.

But she didn't want to face them either. Even if her intentions were good and she had been correct in the end, she still spent the last several months lying to her dearest friends, and dating the one man she was expressly forbidden from seeing. Both sides certainly had things for which they needed to apologize, but-

"So, I have it on a higher authority that you went on a bit of an adventure this afternoon."

Usagi's head flew up from her knees, her startled eyes finding Minako casually sitting on her window sill, her legs crossed and chin resting against her palm.

"Minako!" Usagi gasped. "What are you doing here?"

After hopping down from the window, Minako flashed Usagi a brilliant smile. "I'm here to see you, of course!"

Usagi blinked up at her. "Why?"

An emotion Usagi couldn't read crossed over Minako's face before she covered it up with another smile. "Do I need a reason to visit one of my very best friends?"

Usagi sighed and lowered her forehead back to her knees. "Minako-chan, I don't have the energy for this right now," she groaned.

For a while, neither made a sound. Usagi actually thought Minako left until she was suddenly pulled against a warm body and wrapped into a sort of hug.

"I'm so sorry, Usagi-chan," Minako whispered. "I never meant for any of this to happen. I was only trying to protect you."

Usagi's words were lost to her knees, so Minako released her and sat back on her heels. "What did you say?"

"What were you protecting me from?" Usagi maintained her hunched over form but turned her head to glance at Minako with one shining eye. "From Mamo-chan? He was never our enemy, Minako-chan."

The corner of Minako's mouth fell at her intimate use of Mamoru's name. "Yes, I know that now," she said. "But, Usagi-chan, you have to understand-"

"Understand what? That none of you trusted me?" Usagi lifted her head but didn't let go of her knees, her knuckles turning white. "No, I understood that very well."

"Usagi…" Minako started.

"I fought for him, Mina, even before I knew Tuxedo Kamen was Mamo-chan. He always helped us against the Dark Kingdom, and he always protected me." Usagi's eyes shone with her unshed tears. "Why wasn't that enough? Why didn't you give him a chance?" With a hitched breath her tears finally fell, and Usagi closed her eyes. "Why didn't any of you trust me?"

"Usagi-chan."

Minako's voice was so quiet, so reserved, so unlike her, that Usagi reopened her eyes. Minako was still kneeling beside her, but now her fingers were bunched into her skirt and her eyes were obscured by her blonde hair due to her slightly bowed head.

"Did I ever tell you about my time as Sailor V?" She asked through that same tone.

Usagi shook her head.

"Artemis found me during my first year of Junior High, and I started fighting against the Dark Agency on my own - that branch didn't call themselves the Dark Kingdom," Minako explained to Usagi's confused head tilt. "I didn't take my responsibilities seriously, not at first." A ghost of a smile pulled up on her lips. "Drove Artemis crazy. If he wasn't already a white cat, he probably would have been by the end, considering everything I put him through."

Minako leaned forward, the motion pulling her up off her heels. "Seriously, I complained repeatedly about the costume, having to fight monsters for no pay, and not having enough time to do other things like play video games or get a boyfriend. But as time went on, I started having fun despite everything, and eventually I embraced it - loved it, even. Because of Sailor V, I even got to go on a free trip to Greece!

"Anyway," she continued with a wave of her hand, "when the mysterious Phantom Ace appeared, let me tell you, Usagi-chan, I was in love! He was tall and handsome, wore a white mask over his eyes, and would show up at just the right moment to assist me in battle." Minako gave Usagi a pointed look. "Does any of that sound familiar?"

Usagi frowned against the small knot forming in her stomach, and gripped her knees tighter.

"Not only did Ace help me in battle, but he was an idol who starred in a self-titled TV show. When his agency announced they were holding auditions to find a girl to star opposite him in a movie, I was tasked to try out, and I won, naturally," Minako said with a nonchalant flip of her hair.

Her entire face brightened and she clasped her hands together in front of her chest with a wistful sigh. "We flew together to China, and started filming on a real movie set, with props, wardrobe, makeup, and everything! Really, Usagi-chan, it was everything I thought I wanted, with the guy I thought I loved."

But then Minako's entire demeanor changed, and she sat back on her heels as her shoulders once again slumped and her hands returned to her lap. The reserved, quiet tone was back. "But someone from the Dark Agency attacked me and I accidentally used too much power to save myself, destroying the palace set we were supposed to film on later that day. I became trapped in the wreckage, and in worrying about Artemis and Ace, I… it awoke something in me, and I remembered everything.

"Usagi," Minako reached for Usagi's hands, still wrapped around her legs, and took them in hers with no resistance from Usagi to guide her into a kneeling position. "I remembered who I was meant to be…" She brushed a wayward strand of Usagi's hair from her face, and Usagi drew in a breath and blushed. "And who I was meant to protect.

"Ace was waiting for me outside, and… Usagi-chan, he'd known who I was, who I truly was, from the very beginning. He had toyed with my feelings - with my heart – and I had let him because I was too swept up in the excitement and romance of it all. But he had been working for the Dark Kingdom the entire time, and my carelessness almost got Artemis and me killed. I had to kill him to save myself."

Usagi gasped, her eyes wide. "Minako-chan…"

"From the moment I met you, Usagi-chan, I knew you were Serenity. I had made a vow to protect you, no matter the cost." When Usagi's spine stiffened, Minako frowned but didn't comment on it. "I couldn't let Tuxedo Kamen do to you what Ace did to me."

Tears flooded Usagi's eyes. "But, Minako-chan…"

Minako shook her head. She wasn't done. "I was burdened with knowledge, Usagi-chan. I was the only one of us who had all her memories from the Silver Millenium; who knew who all of you were, even Mamoru-sa-"

"But if you knew about Mamo-chan," Usagi interrupted. "Why did you try to keep me from him? And from Tuxedo Kamen? Didn't-"

Minako shook her head again. "When Queen Serenity sealed away our memories and sent us to the future, that seal was …. tainted somehow, and it changed some of my memories, specifically the ones involving Endymion." She looked away from Usagi now, unable to look her in the eye. "Those altered memories had me making decisions I now regret. And I couldn't see past Tuxedo Kamen's glamour so I didn't know he was Mamoru. But that was probably for the best, if you think about it. I already didn't trust Tuxedo Kamen, but if I had known he was also the man I thought killed my princess…"

All the color drained from Usagi's face. "'Killed?' You thought-"

"I don't know how she did it," Minako continued, her hands squeezing Usagi's, "but I know she is the one responsible."

"'She?'" Usagi whispered.

Minako's gaze finally returned to Usagi's face, her mouth and eyes sad. "Beryl."

Usagi's hands began shaking, and Minako held them tighter. "Beryl? Is that…. was she…?"

"Yes, Usagi-chan. She was the woman at Tokyo Tower."

"Then she has Mamo-chan!" Usagi's outburst startled Minako, who leaned away from Usagi with wide eyes. "I do remember her from back then! She… Endymion…" As tears once again flooded Usagi's eyes, Minako swore she saw them shift into a different shade of blue, just for a moment. "Minako-chan, we have to get him back!"

Minako smiled a small, but genuine smile, and squeezed Usagi's hands gently. "We will. I promise you we will. But first," she pointedly looked at Usagi's dirty hair pooling all around them, "we should do something about your hair, OK? It's a tripping hazard."

Usagi closed her eyes, and a tear slipped silently down each cheek, but she nodded with a soft smile. "OK."

o0o

Minako's skill with a comb and scissors made quick work of Usagi's grown out hair, first cutting off the extra length and then washing the blonde tresses. A startled Ikuko interrupted them while Minako was rinsing out the conditioner. "Oh, Minako-chan! I didn't hear you come in. My mind isn't quite what it used to be, I'm afraid," she said while wringing her hands. "I'll bring you two some tea."

After her hair was dried, Minako settled Usagi before her vanity and began brushing her hair, which was once again shiny and soft.

"I'm sorry, Minako-chan," Usagi murmured.

Minako's hand paused mid stroke and she met Usagi's gaze in the mirror. "For what?"

"I didn't know about your past. It must have been really lonely, fighting on your own like that." Usagi focused her gaze on her childhood music box sitting against the mirror.

Minako picked up a comb and began parting Usagi's hair. "I wasn't truly alone, Usagi-chan. Artemis was always with me."

Usagi gently shook her head, careful not to disrupt Minako's work. "You know what I mean. I… It was never just me and Luna. Mamo-chan was there, even if I didn't know who he was at first. And then I had Ami-chan, Rei-chan, and Mako-chan. But you were all alone."

A smile warmed Minako's face. "You don't have to worry about me, Usagi-chan! I had help! I even worked with the Inspector General of Police Headquarters! She's a friend of mine, and probably the biggest Sailor V fan on the planet!" Minako held two fingers into a V up to her eye and winked at Usagi, who giggled.

"There! One side is done! What do you think?"

Usagi's expression was wondrous as she stared at her own reflection. "Minako-chan…" Usagi whispered as she turned her head side to side, her voice filled with awe. "It's perfect! I didn't know you knew how to make these buns."

Minako's smile turned a little wistful. "I used to do your hair a lot in the old days." She wiggled her fingers. "Must be the hair memory."

Usagi frowned as she ran her fingers through the soft strands of her pigtail. Even the length was perfect. "Minako-chan?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm also sorry for lying about Mamo-chan," Usagi whispered. "I did actually feel bad about lying at first. I even broke up with him when I found out he was Tuxedo Kamen, but…" A blush painted Usagi's cheeks a light pink. "I just loved him too much to stay away."

"When you found out…" Minako's brow furrowed and she pulled her hands away from Usagi's head as soon as she finished pulling up the other half of her hair with a hairband. "Just how long have you two been together, anyway?"

"Since a few weeks before Zoisite stole the city's energy," Usagi said sheepishly. "That's when I learned he was Tuxedo Kamen - he was there when I passed out after using the wand. But we'd been back together for a while before you arrived."

"But that was so long ago! All this time, you and him…" Minako's finger lifted to her mouth and her eyes shifted somewhere off to the side. Despite her shock, she couldn't help but feel a little proud. "Huh… I guess some things really don't change."

Usagi sat up stiffly in her seat. "What do you mean?"

Minako once again met Usagi's gaze in the mirror, her lips pulled into a confused half frown. "I just meant that it was like before, when you and Endym-"

"No!" Usagi banged her fists on the vanity and a couple of bobby pins fell onto the floor. "Minako, I'm… I'm not her! I'm Tsukino Usagi, not some long dead princess, not anymore! Maybe I never was. And Mamo-chan, he… He…" A stunned Minako watched Usagi deflate, and then begin to cry, her hands lifting to cover her eyes. "Minako-chan, what if he never loved me?"

Minako's hands moved to Usagi's shoulders, warm and tight. "What? Usagi, what are you talking about?"

"When he… on the tower, right before…. He didn't say my name, he said hers. Mina-chan, what if, all this time, he didn't have feelings for me, but for her?"

Minako gaped. "Usagi-chan, have you been… all this time…"

"I'm not her!" Usagi sobbed. "She's everything everyone's ever wanted me to be: beautiful, graceful, smart! But I'm not her, and I don't want to be! I want to be me! I want Mamo-chan to love me!"

Minako pulled her into a tight hug. "He does love you. I felt it on the tower after my memories corrected." She pulled away to look Usagi in the eye, leaving her hands on her shoulders. "It was strong and beautiful."

Usagi's tears slowed but her eyes were filled with doubt; so much doubt.

"Usagi-chan, you need to have more confidence in the person you are now, and not compare yourself to who you were then. I am not the same person I was; none of us are! It doesn't matter if you were Serenity in another life, because Tsukino Usagi is amazing in this one, and she is someone I am proud to call my friend."

This time, when Usagi cried, Minako was reasonably assured they were happy tears, and pulled her in for another hug. "I'm so sorry you were dealing with this on your own," she murmured, "but you don't have to anymore. We're all here for you, and Mamoru-san too. Just… no more secrets, OK?" She felt Usagi's nod against her uniform blouse. "OK! Now dry those eyes, Usagi-chan! We have to rescue Prince Charming from a mean old troll!"

o0o

The other senshi and the two cats arrived soon after, ushered in by a further confused yet relieved Ikuko, who disappeared from Usagi's bedroom door with the promise to bring more tea and some snacks.

It was a reunion of sorts, both seven days and an entire millennium in the making, filled with happy tears, hugs, and apologies. Luna curled herself onto Usagi's lap and stayed there, relieved to rejoin her charge and enjoy the occasional scritch behind her ear.

The main topic of discussion was the attack on Tokyo Tower, as well as the events leading up to it. While Usagi was barricaded in her room, the others had been hard at work trying to find Mamoru and the Dark Kingdom's base of operations, spending late nights in their Command Center or at the temple while Rei performed multiple fire readings, but they had nothing to show for their efforts. Their enemy hadn't made a single move in the last seven days so they had nothing to go on, no leads to follow.

Minako had even phoned her friend the Inspector General to inquire about any suspicious activities the girls may have missed. Though she grilled Minako for details about the Tokyo Tower battle, unfortunately, the Inspector General had nothing to report on her end.

After being squeezed one too many times by an increasingly agitated Usagi, Luna finally made the suggestion that halted all conversation and drew six pairs of eyes.

"What did you say, Luna?" Ami asked.

"Let's go to the moon," Luna repeated. "Back to our old kingdom. Hopefully we will find the answers to our questions."

o0o

Usagi stared up at the moon with wonder.

We'll leave on the next full moon.

Tomorrow night was finally the night. The wait had been agony, and Usagi was growing more and more anxious with each passing day. School was a sufficient enough distraction, and the preparations for their trip kept her busy in the evenings, but each night Usagi would spend a few hours just sitting on her bed and gazing up at the moon.

She missed Mamoru terribly. How she longed to see him, to hear his voice, to wrap herself in his arms with her head to his chest so she could surround herself with his warmth and love while the steady beat of his heart both grounded and reassured her. He always made her stronger; made her feel like she could accomplish anything, but now he was gone, and for the very first time she felt as though she were fighting all on her own.

But she wasn't alone. She had her senshi, and Luna and Artemis too. She could do this. She had to do this. Mamoru was counting on her.

Mamo-chan...

Just after Usagi lowered her head to her arms and sighed, her father arrived home and called her name. "Yes, Papa?" She called back, lifting herself off her bed to meet him downstairs.

"Here," he said with a smile as he held out the little velvet box. "I had that little gem of yours made into a pendant, just as you asked."

Usagi squealed with delight and opened the box, lifting the Maboroshi no Ginzuishou by its delicate chain up to the light, mesmerized by light dancing off of its many facets. "It's perfect! Thank you, Papa! Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

Her father grinned in response. "You sure have been taking good care of that thing. Did you get it from a boyfriend?" He teased.

Usagi's smile turned wistful, and she closed her eyes against the pain in her chest. "Yea," she murmured, holding the crystal close to her heart. "Something like that." She ignored her dad's shocked expression as she lifted herself up onto the tips of her toes to kiss his cheek before bounding back upstairs.

After settling back into her place on her bed, she held the Maboroshi no Ginzuishou up to the moon.

"Still no change?"

Usagi turned to Luna before looking back at the crystal. "No," she sighed. Are they sure this is the Maboroshi no Ginzuishou? It had glowed so brightly when it first appeared, but hasn't shone with its own light since then.

Luna nuzzled Usagi's arm. "We'll get him back, Usagi-chan," she murmured. "I promise."

With another sigh, Usagi returned her gaze to the moon, clutching the Ginzuishou to her breast.

o0o

"Is everyone ready?"

The girls turned to Luna and nodded.

Though it was the middle of the night, the park was brightly illuminated by the soft glow of the full moon cresting the sky. Usagi was an anxious bundle of nerves, but the part of her that was Serenity was elated to be returning to her home for the first time in over a millennia.

It's a strange thing, having someone else within your psyche. As the days passed since Motoki found her in front of Mamoru's apartment building, Usagi's animosity towards the Lunarian princess was waning, but she hadn't yet accepted her as a part of herself. Usagi wondered if she ever would, and what would happen if she didn't.

But she tried to push it from her mind. All she cared about right now was finding Mamoru. Once he was safe, and the Dark Kingdom was dealt with, maybe then she can revisit her relationship with Serenity.

"Usagi-chan? Are you coming?" Minako called.

Usagi found her standing in an incomplete circle with the other girls, a space left for her. After she took her place, Luna called out instructions.

"Transform, and then join hands! The power of your transformations will form a shield and allow us to teleport to the moon."

The call of their transformations and the resulting influx of power broke the peaceful stillness of the park, an unnatural breeze waving tree branches and fluttering leaves and plants. As soon as the girls joined hands they disappeared, leaving behind a ring of disturbed Earth.

The Earth was breathtaking from space, so much more so than Usagi remembered from Serenity's memories. While the other girls exclaimed excitedly about the large storm visible from space or the moon's many craters, Usagi couldn't pull her eyes away from the Earth's oceans.

When she first met Mamoru, she found his most striking feature to be his eyes. Ocean blue, the same color as the Earth in those pictures taken from space… But the pictures did not do it justice, not really. His irises may as well have been crafted from the waters of the oceans themselves.

A lump formed in her throat. From within Serenity's memory she could recall Endymion asking the princess what the Earth looked like from the moon. Like a beautiful blue crystal ball she had told him, and Usagi couldn't help but agree. She closed her eyes against the tears threatening to fall at her wish that Mamoru was here with her to see it for himself; that they were experiencing this together.

They set down at Mare Serenitatis, the place where their once magnificent castle had stood. The land was dark, and the air quiet and still, a stark contrast to the bright and cheerful visions in her memories and dreams.

Usagi was walking alone among the ruins, her gloved fingertips dragging absentmindedly along a toppled pillar, when she was transported into a memory of herself as a young princess playing hide and seek with her senshi. She watched a young Venus skip down the marble walkway as if she were the princess herself hiding behind the pillar.

An echo of giggles filled her ears and Usagi ripped her hand away, cradling it within the other against her chest as if she'd been burned.

"Use all your strength! I know you can do it!"

Artemis was cheering on Venus as the other senshi watched from the sidelines through pained winces, each either flexing their fingers or rubbing their hands. Venus's appearance was that of the young Venus from Usagi's memory except for her red, grimacing face as she grunted and strained from her efforts to remove what appeared to be a stone sword stuck within an altar. After a quick shake of her head, Venus returned to her proper age and height.

Venus pushed against the altar with her feet as she pulled, and with one last growled grunt finally freed the sword from its resting place of over one thousand years.

"That is the sacred sword which protects the princess. Mercury, Mars, Jupiter, Venus, it belongs to you."

Confused faces scanned the surrounding area for the source of the mysterious voice, which had an electronic quality, as if whoever was speaking did so through a speaker. A flash of light drew their attention to the now empty altar, and when it faded away a petite image of what could be Princess Serenity's twin remained. She wore a form-fitting white dress simply adorned with a white bow across her breast, a yellow crescent moon at its center, and translucent fairy wings hung from her back.

"You are…." Usagi's voice didn't sound like her own.

The image smiled. "My darling Serenity, to be able to see you again, after all this time…" Her gray eyes shifted to the other senshi and the two cats, "Everyone, I was once Queen Serenity, the former monarch of the Silver Millennium."

Mercury was furiously typing away on her mini computer, her eyes focused on the data scrolling through her visor. "How is she interacting with us? Isn't this just a recording?"

Queen Serenity shook her head. "No. Though my body has long turned to dust, my will lives on through the Moon Castle's Eternity Main System. It is what allows me to communicate with you now."

Her hand swept out towards the ruins. "Do you all remember our former kingdom? I know it does not look like much now, but it was once great and beautiful. Under the dome we had water, greenery, and winds, but, Serenity, my dear," the queen looked to Sailor Moon, "You longed for the real thing, and often sneaked down to Earth. It was there you found love."

Usagi blushed and looked away, recalling the first time Serenity met Endymion. He had found her wandering around a section of the gardens off limits to even palace staff, and just like Usagi's first encounter with Mamoru, Serenity had been immediately struck by the color of Endymion's eyes.

"Your Majesty, do you know why we're here?" Luna asked. "And what information we seek?"

"I presume you are here to learn about the Evil One."

"The 'Evil One'?" Usagi echoed in a whisper.

The Queen nodded. "We who were born on the moon had a long lifespan. Our duty was to protect the Maboroshi no Ginzuishou, and to watch over the Earth and her people. The sun was so active that fateful year, and it was that activity which delivered our destruction to the Earth: a being of pure evil and hatred calling itself Metalia. It wormed its way into the hearts of that beautiful planet's people, fomenting jealousy and hatred towards our kind and our way of life, and eventually used its power and new Terran armies to attack the moon. Sadly, only the young Prince Endymion remained unaffected, and until the very end, he fought tirelessly to reason with his people.

"My darling," She addressed Sailor Moon, "he fell protecting you, and in your grief, you took up his sword and ended your precious life." Only when the tears flooded Usagi's eyes did the ancient monarch turn her face away, and it was a while before she spoke again.

"I managed to seal the Evil One away, but did so improperly as my heart was so filled with my sorrow and regret from losing my beloved only daughter. That creature never should have been freed, and I shall regret from now through eternity that you all have been once again pulled into this fight."

"That must be how she did it!"

Six pairs of startled eyes fell on Venus at once, but she only acknowledged the seventh, which had been unaffected by her outburst. "Your Majesty, all of my initial memories of Endymion were altered, and I believe this is what ultimately led to his being captured by the Dark Kingdom." Venus knelt before the projected queen. "I suspect Beryl, but I didn't think she had that kind of power."

The elder Serenity appeared quite contrite. "I think you are quite right, Senshi Venus. No doubt Beryl had a hand in it, but not on her own. Only with the aid of that monstrous creature would she have such abilities. No apology exists which can make any of this right but, Serenity, my darling," She once again turned to Sailor Moon, one hand outstretched as if to caress her cheek. "I pray you can forgive me. I know the pain you are feeling from his loss, I see it as clearly now as I did the day you took your own life. Please do not despair, your prince is alive, of this I am absolutely certain."

Tears finally slipped down her cheeks and Usagi let out the breath she didn't realize she was holding. She had prayed with everything within herself that Mamoru was still alive, yet a sliver of doubt, dark and festering within her heart, had remained. But the queen's words brought forth the light needed to burn it away, and Usagi felt genuine hope for the very first time since Mamoru was taken from her.

"How?" Her voice, although thick from her tears, was unwavering. "How do I save him? The Maboroshi no Ginzuishou, it's… It's gone dark… and I don't know how to bring back its light."

"Gone dark?" The queen's mouth pulled into a troubled frown. "Does the Maboroshi no Ginzuishou not respond when you call on its power?"

"Your Majesty," Jupiter interjected, "when Prince Endymion was injured, a part of the Ginzuishou went inside his body, and it hasn't been the same since."

Queen Serenity pondered this, her delicate fingers brushing against her lips. "Went inside…. Serenity, right before this happened, did you pray to save him?" At Usagi's widened eyes she smiled. "My darling, the Maboroshi no Ginzuishou follows your heart, so it merely carried out your will. Try not to worry. If you are to defeat the Evil One, you must have strong faith, unity, and deep love. Take pride in yourself as both a princess and warrior, but never forget, you were reborn into the young woman you are for a reason.

"Mercury, Mars, Jupiter, Venus," Queen Serenity acknowledged each senshi individually when she called her name, "my time grows short. Please combine your strength to protect your princess, and bring honor back to this ancient land." The queen's image flickered, and her voice faded with it. "Serenity, this time, may you find-"

But the image faded for the last time, and with it, Queen Serenity's final words were lost.

-*-0o0o0o0o0o-*-
-*-0o0o0-*-

Motoki sighed as he unlocked the door to the arcade and then mindlessly stared at his reflection in the glass.

He wished he could be happy that Crown was finally reopening its doors after weeks of renovations, but this grand reopening really couldn't have come at a worst time.

He hadn't heard from Usagi since he brought her home, and he was desperate for an update. Surely the senshi knew where Mamoru was by now. How much longer could they possibly intend to leave him with those monsters?

A shadow falling over his reflection pulled Motoki from his thoughts, and he took a deep breath before schooling his face and turning around to greet the customer. "I'm sorry, but we're not quite op- Mamoru-kun?!"

The corner of the other man's mouth lifted into a deeply unsettling smirk, but before Motoki could say another word, the man's dark eyes flashed, and Motoki's world fell away to darkness.

Notes:

Let me tell you what a relief it was to have finished this chapter.

As I mentioned in the notes of my last chapter, I knew Chapters 9 and 10 (since it ended up split into 2 chapters instead of the original 1) were going to be my Waterloo. As I worked on this one, I lovingly referred to it as "Waterloo 2: Electric Boogaloo" because it proved to be every bit of a challenge as the preceding chapter. The goal of any exposition-heavy chapter is to make it at least somewhat engaging for the reader, and I hope I managed that for you all once again.

OK, with that out of the way, let's all acknowledge what's coming up. I know what's coming. YOU ALL know what's coming.

What I originally had planned for Chapter 11 is going to be split into 2, if not 3, chapters (because this story grew into a massive beast as I started posting it), and I have a good part of 11 nearing completion, so if I decide to leave it as-is, it may be posted within the next week or so.
If that is the case, Chapter 12 will take some time to come out.

I am looking to participate in some upcoming themed weeks, probably only 1 or 2 stories, but I still want to work on those in addition to working on OMwF.
Because, let's face it, this story is a bit intense.

A friend on the Moonlight Legends SM discord (drop me a line if you would like an invite - we discuss SM, help each other out with interpretations, and stories, share each other's works - it's a great community. Small, but growing) created a 2022 Monthly Themes challenge to try to get people writing.
"Consequences" was my January contribution, which was a free month
"Idiots" was written for Feb, prompt: Chocolate, and I will be posting its sequel, written using the March prompt, on 3/14/22.

Please don't think I am giving up on this story. I love it to pieces and will see it through to the end no matter what, even if there is a bit between updates. I can't wait to see it all play out either!

And thanks to everyone who has taken the time to comment/review – I definitely strive to respond to each and every comment (even if I wasn't great at that at first - apologies, truly), and it really means a lot.

As a health care worker, sometimes I become so overwhelmed and stressed out by my job that I have to step away from writing for a bit, especially because of the frame of mind I need to be in to write these particular chapters, and your wonderful reviews have been wonderful motivators and amazing pick-me-ups, so I very much appreciate it.

Thank you all so very much for joining me on this adventure!
See you next time!