Chapter 10: A 'delightful' little thing called boarding school
"Captain wait!", Maria said firmly, knowing by the look on his face that a terrible scene was about to unfold unless she could stop it. The very idea of an enraged Captain confronting his equally hot-headed daughter did not bear thinking about.
He strode past, ignoring her, intent on getting to Louisa's door.
"Wait, Captain, please." Maria appealed to him hurriedly, moving ahead to reach the door before he did.
He sighed impatiently, an aggravated scowl on his face, his voice threaded with anger. "Fraulein, this is not your concern. Louisa was extremely rude to the Baroness. She must apologise, immediately."
Maria stood in front of Louisa's door, barring the way, all her protective instincts coming to the fore at his blazing temper, but feeling rather like a mother gazelle protecting her young from a ferocious lion.
The Captain rolled his eyes at her stance, disbelief at her audacity etched on his face. "Please step aside Fraulein. I need to speak to my daughter. She was also defiant and disobedient to me. Her behavior was deplorable."
"No Captain, she's upset, she needs time to calm down. She's just had a tremendous shock. She had no idea about being sent away." Maria tried to keep the accusation out of her voice but there must have been something there because his mouth tightened even more and a muscle jumped in his cheek.
"Please Captain, let me speak to her first."
He was silent for a while but she could feel the anger vibrating in him.
She appealed to him once more, quietly. "Captain, the other children are worried."
He looked at her for a moment longer and then glanced over his shoulder to see the anxious faces of his children peering from their doors. It seemed to get through to him because he made a visible effort to quell his rage.
"Alright," he agreed more calmly though the steel was still there in his voice for her to hear. "But I expect her to apologise as soon as you have spoken to her."
He turned on his heel to go back downstairs, but something made him pause. He stopped to cup Marta's chin gently and brush tender, reassuring fingers against Gretl's cheek as the they watched him, wide-eyed with anxiety. He patted Brigitta lovingly on the head, forced a smile for the boys and then strode downstairs.
Maria breathed a sigh of relief, slightly incredulous that he had backed down in the end.
"Alright everybody, it's time for bed. There's nothing to worry about," she ushered them gently into their rooms. "I need to speak to Louisa and then I will come in and say goodnight."
"Is Father going to send us away?" Gretl asked, frightened.
"No darling, of course not." Though Maria was not entirely sure. What if he was planning to do exactly that? But surely he wouldn't be so callous? Maria took a deep breath of determination, indignation pushing through. For heaven's sake, what was wrong with the man? She would do everything in her power to make sure he didn't send the children away.
A part of her was secretly relieved that it might give her a few extra days with the children before she had to confess her deceit and she would be sent back to the Abbey. This evening, after all, was the time she had decided she would reveal everything to him.
"Liesl can you help get the little ones ready for bed please and I will be along once I have spoken to Louisa." Maria gave her a warm smile and squeezed her arm reassuringly. Liesl nodded, biting her lip, her eyes still shadowed with distress.
Maria knocked on Louisa's door, then opened it tentatively when there was no response.
"Louisa?" She could see the young girl stretched out, face down on her bed, her face buried in her pillow to muffle her crying.
Maria got a tearful, hostile "Leave me alone" in response.
"Oh Louisa," Maria said tenderly, her heart aching to see her so upset. She sat down on the bed next to her and hesitantly reached out to stroke her hair. She was unsurprised when the prickly young girl shook it off. Maria sighed ruefully and let her cry some more.
When the tears had abated somewhat she said quietly, "Louisa, tell me what happened."
After a silence she tried again. "If you don't speak to me how can I help you? You have to trust me. One thing I do know for sure is that your father loves you. You saw the way he has been with you all in the last few weeks, and the way he hugged you all the other day. He wants what is best for you."
"Does he? How can Finishing School be the best for us? And if he loves us why does he want to send us away?" Louisa's voice was muffled from being face down, but her rage came through loud and clear. "I'm sure it's all her idea."
Maria could hear the loathing in Louisa's voice.
"She wants to get rid of us so that she can dig her claws into him and have him all to herself. She doesn't want to bother about us, she just wants to be Father's wife."
"Now, Louisa I don't think that's fair. I know the Baroness is very fond of all of you. Though I can imagine she feels a little overwhelmed sometimes." Maria did her best to think positively, but in truth she wasn't entirely sure about the Baroness' feelings for the children since she kept them at a polite distance. But maybe that was because she had had so little to do with children previously. Maria hoped so. She continued resolutely.
"I didn't know about this Finishing School idea and I will speak to your father about it, but I need to know from you why you don't want to go."
"Don't you know anything about Finishing Schools, Fraulein Maria?" Louisa lifted her tear-stained face to look at her, outraged.
"No, I'm afraid I don't. You'll have to tell me."
Louisa sniffed wrathfully. "You don't learn anything at all in those stupid places. They just train you how to be a lady. You learn things like deportment and how to walk straight with books on your head and how to pour tea."
Maria held back a smile. She could imagine how much Louisa would detest those things. Liesl might be amenable perhaps, but definitely not Louisa. She listened attentively as Louisa continued with her voice full of sullen belligerence.
"They teach you how to throw a grand party and how to be a good hostess and make pointless small talk. All they do is train you how to be a rich man's wife. And I don't want that. I don't even want to get married. I want to be like you and go to college and be smart and maybe have a real job. I could be a teacher like you," she said earnestly.
Maria listened, realizing how little she knew about the Captain's second daughter. But it was high time that someone found out about her. She was an intensely private child, on the cusp of growing up, with all the fierce emotions and drama of adolescence boiling beneath that often brooding exterior. She rarely showed it, but listening to her now, it was clear that inside she was full of great passions and hopes and dreams.
"You would make a wonderful teacher Louisa, and you are a very intelligent girl. And very creative. I believe it was you who engineered the beetles in my bathtub and the cup of flour over my wardrobe door when I first arrived?" She teased Louisa with a twinkle in her eyes and was rewarded with a guilty smile and an embarrassed nod.
"I didn't know all these things about you Louisa, and I am very grateful you have told me now. I do know you have your father's strength, determination and courage and you can achieve whatever you set your mind to. But I have to say that having any job would be very unusual for a young aristocratic lady. You won't need to work, you can be a lady of leisure."
"But I want to have a job." Louisa burst out indignantly. "I don't want to be just someone's wife. I want to do something with my life. One of our cousins went to finishing school and then she came out as a debutante and was married six months later and her husband is horrid. He's never home and when he is, he's mean to her all the time, and she is so bored and miserable. It's as if her life is already over."
Maria reached out and stroked Louisa's hair and this time she was not rebuffed.
"I'm sorry to hear that. Sometimes people are unlucky in their marriages, but I do know that your parents were blissfully happy together. And I am very sure your father does not want you girls to grow up too quickly and get married soon."
"But why can't I be like you and go to college, and learn about the world and nature and sciences and art and literature? You know so much about everything Fraulein Maria. I want to be just like you."
Maria continued to stroke Louisa's hair gently. "Thank you darling, that is very sweet of you to say that. But I had to make my own choices because I didn't have parents to guide me in my life. It wasn't easy and there were times I felt very alone and frightened, and not sure what to do. You, on the other hand, have a father who loves you very much and who wants what is best for you."
"How can sending me to Finishing school be the best for me? If he sends me there I will just run away," she said fiercely, stubbornly, her scowl making her look remarkably like her father for once. "I want to stay here. Even though my brothers and sisters drive me mad most of the time, I don't want us to be all split up."
Maria secretly agreed, bristling with indignation. What on earth was the Captain thinking? The very idea of sending his children away was outrageous. Had the last few weeks meant nothing to him? These children needed each other. They had forged such strong bonds over the loss of their mother and their emotionally absent father. While they had not been able count on and trust the adults around them they had found a safe haven with each other. It would devastate them to be separated. They had already been through so much and now they had tasted happiness again with their father, it just seemed cruel to send them away.
She felt her anger at the Captain growing. How could he be so blind? She had thought that he had finally realized how wrong he had been to push his children away, but maybe it had all been for nothing. Well she was not going to leave until she was sure that the children's happiness was secure and if that meant confronting the Captain head on - so be it, she thought crossly. Although she knew he might fire her over it, even before she told him about her deceit, it was a risk she had to take.
Liesl came in quietly and Maria patted the bed so that she could join them. "I take it you don't like the idea of Finishing School either?"
Liesl shook her head. "We've all been so happy the last few weeks. I want to stay here. Father seemed so different. For a while he was almost the same as he was when Mama was here. But now this. I just don't understand." Her voice was filled with bewildered sadness.
"Well perhaps I can change his mind. But I can't promise anything. Let me talk to him." Maria turned back to Louisa.
"Louisa, your father said you were very rude to the Baroness. I think you know already that rudeness is never excusable and I know you are big enough and strong enough to apologise sincerely to her. You cannot blame her for thinking that you girls would want to go to a fancy exclusive school. After all that is what is expected of girls from your background."
She held up a hand as Louisa protested. "You will earn your father's respect when you say sorry, and he is much more likely to listen to you if you apologise unreservedly. You know that it's the right thing to do."
Louisa sighed and gave a grudging, resentful nod. She glumly got off the bed.
Maria settled the other children and gave reassurances to the little ones. After the fifth time the little girls asked if they were going to be sent away, Maria was positively fuming at their father.
She went downstairs with her heart filled with righteous anger. Foolish man. How could he even think of sending his beautiful children away? Didn't he know how blessed he was? The very idea! she huffed angrily.
She gave a cursory knock at his study door and then entered before he could respond. In her anger she inadvertently pushed the door open hard causing it slam against the wall. She flinched at the noise but Captain merely raised arrogant eyebrows at her dramatic entrance.
"Fraulein-"
"You can't send those children away," Maria burst out furiously, without fanfare. "How could you even possibly think of doing such a thing? They need each other. And they need you! They want to be a family again, and how can they if they are living apart?"
"Fraulein-" he tried to interrupt curtly but she carried on, overriding him.
"The children have grown so close since they lost their mother, their bonds together are so strong. It would tear each of them apart if they couldn't be together. They will be devastated."
"Fraulein-"
"You can't do this, you simply can't. You are throwing away everything that has happened in the last few weeks. They love you, and they want so much to be close to you. You can't just brush them aside like this." Maria's chest was heaving in her agitation, and her cheeks were flushed with anger.
The Captain just watched her silently, enigmatically.
"Well? Aren't you going to say anything?" she demanded angrily.
He raised sardonic eyebrows. "Oh, so I am allowed to say something am I, Fraulein?" he asked mockingly. "You seem to be doing fine having this ...er, 'discussion' all on your own."
She ignored his sarcasm and waited, her eyes fierce with anger.
He stood up to look out the window. "It would be for the best if they were not here."
"What?" Maria exploded again, ready to launch another tirade but he held up a warning finger curtly.
"It is for their own safety," he snapped, finally losing his temper himself. "You and I both know that the Anschluss could happen at any time. If Germany invades there will be war. I want the children somewhere safe, out of harm's way, and that, unfortunately, means out of Austria. I cannot afford to bury my head in the sand over this and just hope it won't happen. I must be prepared and at all costs keep them safe, even if it means sending them away."
"Oh." Realization struck deep. She sank into a chair, deflated, all the anger seeping out of her. So that was why he was doing it. It made sense. It wasn't because he was being a hardhearted, uncaring father. She looked at his face, seeing how haggard it looked for the first time, as if he had the weight of the world on his shoulders.
He rubbed a weary hand over his forehead and she realized that for once he was letting down that implacable mask and not trying to hide what he was feeling. He looked like a man at the end of his rope.
With a jolt of shock and unease she acknowledged just how much she longed to go over and comfort him, to put a reassuring hand on his arm and even to wrap her arms around him and hold him close. But of course that wasn't possible.
"I have not hidden my opposition to the Anschluss. If or when it comes, they might use my children to hurt me." His voice was terse with anger and worry. "I cannot take that risk. I have to send them away."
"They think it's because you don't want them around," she told him quietly.
He snorted. "That's ridiculous. If I had a choice of course they should be together, here at home, with me." He paused. "The Baroness may have jumped the gun a little," he admitted reluctantly. "Naturally she expected that they would be excited by the idea of an exclusive Finishing school. I had wanted to wait, to tell them in my own time, perhaps with your help."
"Louisa is apologising to the Baroness right now."
He nodded in acknowledgement
There was a silence for a while as they were both lost in their own thoughts and then Maria spoke tentatively.
"Captain, I really don't think finishing school in Switzerland is the best choice for the girls. They don't want to be apart from their siblings and I have been talking to Louisa. She has such hopes and dreams about what she wants to do with her life. She wants to continue with her education in a proper school, not a Finishing School where they will only learn how to be ladies. She is a very bright girl and she deserves to have a good education."
He had his back to her so Maria could not tell what he was thinking. The silence was so long she wondered if he was going to ignore what she said, but then he turned towards her.
"Louisa could do with some lessons in how to be a lady," he said dryly.
Before Maria could defend her indignantly, he continued.
"Nevertheless, my wife Agathe told me she hated Finishing School. She found it deadly dull," he admitted. "But my choices are limited. I have also thought of sending all of them to England to be near their grandparents, but Agathe's parents are getting too old to look after seven children no matter how much they love them."
"Captain, if the children leave Austria, you must too." Maria implored him quietly.
"No Fraulein, I cannot. If Germany invades, Austria must defend itself. Although we no longer have a navy I am still a soldier and my duty lies with my country. I gave my vows to fight for Austria until my last breath."
"But if something happens to you…" she pleaded.
He was silent for a while and then responded quietly, wearily. "If I marry again, my wife would take care of the children if something happened to me."
Maria tried to imagine the Baroness being responsible for the children but found it difficult. She could barely manage them for more than a few minutes at a time. But perhaps that was the normal way with aristocratic families where children were raised by an army of servants and only saw their parents occasionally.
But one thing Maria knew for certain was that those children needed love to thrive, they needed close guidance and most of all they needed their father.
More than that the thought of something happening to the Captain, for all his bravery, tore at something deep inside her. She felt the horror of it clawing at her heart.
"But they need you, Captain. They could not manage without you. You have a responsibility to them first."
He did not reply, and again he had his back to her so she could not see his expression. The tense lines of his shoulders however, spoke volumes about the pressure he was under. She saw him heave a sigh that seemed to come from the depths of his soul. But he changed the subject.
"Does Liesl feel the same about Finishing School?"
"Yes."
He grimaced. "The Baroness worked very hard to find them places. It's the sort of school where you need to put their names down at birth, but Agathe and I did not think of such things. If it is going to make the girls deeply unhappy I will have to think of other options. I will need to think on this some more, but in the meantime you can tell them that I will not force them to go to the school in Switzerland."
"Thank you Captain." Maria breathed a sigh of relief. At least he had listened to her and he was not dismissive of the girls' opposition.
"Is there anything I can do?" she offered quietly, yearning to erase the worry from his brow.
"No," he shook his head wearily, but then paused. "But perhaps, yes. I think I could do with something to soothe me after all this drama. Do you think that in your music lesson with Herr Detweiler this evening, you could sing Mozart's 'Una Voce Poca Fa' and Bizet's Pearl-fishers' aria? Such exquisite beauty would help me forget the world we live in, at least for a while."
Maria smiled, her eyes sparkling with delight, feeling a thrill of happiness that she could do something to ease his mind. "Of course Captain."
In an unguarded moment he smiled back at her, absorbing her pleasure. Their eyes met in a moment of deep underlying connection. An awareness hummed in the air, the electric tension between them suddenly palpable. It seemed as if their worlds had narrowed to this moment and to each other, everything else fading away.
Maria saw his eyes darken with emotions that she barely understood. It was suddenly difficult to breathe, as if the air around her had thickened, making it hard to draw it into her lungs. The seconds ticked by interminably, seeming like hours.
But then she watched with a feeling of loss as he suddenly shuttered his gaze, making it unreadable. His impenetrable mask was back in place. The connection was broken, deliberately.
She turned to leave, feeling strangely bereft but he called her back. "Er, Fraulein?"
She felt her stomach twist as she recognized the taunting tone he had used on her before, a mixture of teasing, amusement and something darker which she could not define. She saw his head go back slightly as his mouth quirked into a half smile. A tinge of mockery flickered in his eyes as he raised his eyebrows ironically.
"I believe you may have forgotten something?"
Maria looked puzzled, wondering what it was as she looked blankly at the chair she had been sitting on. She looked at the Captain, perplexed.
"Your accent…?" he suggested, sardonically.
"Oh," her mouth was a round O in consternation. She put her hands to her cheeks which were flushed with guilty horror.
"And don't try to fob me off with ridiculous stories that the children somehow, miraculously, taught you Hochdeutsch in a few short weeks. I am not an imbecile. Tomorrow morning you will tell me the truth."
His eyes were hard and determined but surprisingly there was no anger. Perhaps he had known for some time. She swallowed anxiously as her stomach lurched with nerves.
"Yes sir," she said, almost meekly. Tomorrow it would be time to face the music.
ooooOOOOoooo
Georg sat in his study that evening, nursing his whisky. With his eyes closed he let the haunting loveliness of his governess' voice wash over him. Her stunning singing was coming to him from the library. He felt a twinge of envy that Max was there with her, witnessing the full force of it. No doubt her eyes were radiant and compelling, and her face luminous with beauty of her song.
He felt something tugging at his heart but he ignored it, burying it deep inside. He knew his insidious feelings, his attraction to his governess were growing out of control, invading his thoughts constantly and even his dreams, but he was quite adept at pushing things away.
He remembered the moment in his study when he had felt an uncontrollable surge of emotions for her, bringing to life feelings that had lain dormant for years. But he had managed to control it. For everyone's sake it would be best not to give in to impossible thoughts and dreams, though he would at least allow himself the chance to immerse himself in the loveliness of her voice. That was safe. Wasn't it?
He did not try to repress the shiver of pleasure as that voice drifted over him. He sighed with satisfaction as the notes echoed through his soul, feeling the peace enveloping him, changing his mood to one of serenity tinged with joy. He was vaguely surprised once more at the astonishing power of her singing to soothe him after all the drama today.
He sat alone. Elsa had retired for the evening, claiming one of her frequent headaches. In truth, he felt nothing but relief. Despite Louisa's apology, Elsa was still seething about his daughter's behaviour. Nor had he told her that Liesl and Louisa were unlikely to go to her exclusive school despite all her efforts to secure them places. No doubt she would be infuriated.
He felt sharp twinge of regret that he had lost his temper over Louisa's behavior, but somehow, thankfully, his governess had been able to rescue the situation and calm everyone down. She had been quite fearless in the face of his wrath, just as she had been on the night of the thunderstorm. Her courage was admirable.
If he had completely lost his temper with Louisa it could have caused irrevocable damage. He was no longer the man who demanded blind obedience from his children, and who rode rough-shod over their feelings and needs. Their new-found trust in him was a precious, fragile thing. It needed to be cherished and handled with care.
His governess had shown him that. She was wise beyond her years. She was right, Louisa would hate finishing school as much as Agathe had detested it. He would not force the girls, but he did need to think about where to send the children.
He sighed. No, he would not think about such things now, he would allow the music to work its transcending power and give him a moment of peace, an escape from the unrelenting worry.
Fraulein Maria had finished the two pieces he had requested and she started a new one. He smiled: it was the song he had first heard her sing in his ballroom before they had even met.
"I could have danced all night, I could have danced all night, and still have begged for more."
The shimmering beauty of the notes cascaded over him. It made his heart thud and his spirits soar.
His mouth quirked as he remembered their first meeting – his annoyance, her cheeky impudence, her startling dialect, her seeming delight in knocking him off balance with her abrasive accent and her subtle mockery. She had poked fun at him mercilessly, though discreetly and always within the bounds of politeness. But with her eyes so full of playful mischief he should have realized that all was not what it seemed.
She had been playing some kind of deceptive game with him right from the beginning, and even now he still did not know what it was. But although the realization had come quickly he had been curiously reluctant to confront her about it outright.
Had he enjoyed their little game of intrigue? Undoubtedly so, especially when he had been able to turn the tables on her and suddenly he was the hunter and she was the prey. It had amused and invigorated him to engage in their little dance of feint, parry and thrust and it had intrigued him to pit his wits against her considerable intellect. His boredom, his jaded weariness with life had vanished. And his ineffable sadness over Agathe had eased over the weeks that Fraulein Maria had been with them.
But today she had completely blown her cover, her accent long forgotten in her passion and rage. Neither of them could pretend anymore. Tomorrow it would be time to force her to admit to whatever little game she had been playing and why.
"I could have spread my wings and done a thousand things, I've never done before,
I'll never know what made it so exciting, why all at once my heart took flight.."
The final note soared out, it's matchless perfection making his skin prickle.
He waited to see what she would sing next. He felt that connection with her again, but this time they weren't even in the same room. It was as if they were communicating through the power of the music. Perhaps she felt it too because she started singing again.
He snorted with wry amusement. It was a song that she knew annoyed the hell out of him. He had told her often enough when she and the children were singing it, supposedly to teach her Hochdeutsch. It was that infernal 'Rain in Spain' song.
He chuckled at her impudence. She was sending him a cheeky defiant message and he was enjoying her mischief again.
The chuckle turned into a full bodied laugh, something he had not done in a very, very long time. It felt good to laugh, a relief to throw off the oppressive weight of worry for a moment.
"The rain in Spain falls mainly in the plain…"
He marveled at her ability to salvage his terrible day with her provocative humour. He was looking forward to a clash of wills tomorrow. She had better have a damn good reason for her deceptiveness and he relished the prospect of interrogating her.
The saucy minx.
ooooOOOOoooo
A/N: I would love to know your thoughts.