ooooOOOOoooo
Chapter 11: Time to face the music
Maria spent a sleepless night tossing and turning, dreading her meeting with the Captain in the morning. No doubt she would be fired straight away, she thought miserably, though she couldn't blame him, after all she had deceived him.
But the thought of leaving those beloved children wrenched at her heart.
Somewhere deep inside she acknowledged it wouldn't be just children she would miss. The Captain loomed large in her thoughts daily, and the more she got to know him, the more often she would catch herself in bewildering day-dreams, her pulse racing and strange churning feeling in her heart and stomach. Against her will she was becoming fascinated by the man that was emerging from beneath that icy exterior.
Even when he was taunting and teasing she couldn't deny how invigorating it was to spar with him. She was sure it wasn't her imagination, but he seemed to enjoy their verbal battles too. It was there in the underlying teasing tone threaded through the sardonic banter.
Maria threw an exasperated arm over her forehead as she lay back on the pillows, annoyed with herself. She needed to clamp down severely on her wayward thoughts. She had no business having school-girlish crushes on handsome Naval heroes. She was going to be nun after all, she told herself crossly.
Or was she? She sighed heavily as she turned her face to her pillow restlessly. Her mind had been in turmoil for weeks over her proposed vocation. Was the Reverend Mother right when she had gently hinted that Maria needed to find out if the rigorous discipline of the Abbey was something she could expect of herself?
Her half-baked deception using a phony accent was surely an indication that she would never be able curb her impulsiveness and mischief enough for the regimented life of a nun.
Perhaps she could find a less restrictive Order than Nonnberg, which would allow her to be both a nun and a school teacher. At least that would enable her to indulge her love for children as well as her joy in nurturing their tender young minds.
Maybe that was more her calling than the cloistered life in the Abbey, where her outspokenness and her passion for singing at any moment would be a liability.
And then there had been her singing lessons with Herr Detweiler. He had been so encouraging about her voice, even dropping hints that she should be a professional singer. To Maria's incredulous laughter he had gone so far as to say she should enter the Salzburg Music Festival.
The idea was quite ridiculous of course, Maria could never dream of something so grand, but the thought of being able to sing all the time seemed so blissful. Whenever she sang it felt as if she was if she were soaring to the heavens; it filled her heart with such rapture. She also felt a secret, almost shameful pride at how much her singing seemed to affect the Captain. He was completely unable to disguise his pleasure whenever he heard her.
Herr Detweiler had been charmingly persuasive throughout, telling her that God had given her a special gift that she should share with the world. While she knew he was exaggerating and was just being kind to bolster her confidence, the idea that God had set a path for her resonated deeply with her.
Maybe she could be a music teacher and combine all her great loves: children, music and teaching. Herr Detweiler had already generously shared his time and expertise teaching her the technical aspects of music, perhaps he could continue to help her.
If this was the will of God, she would do it whole-heartedly she decided resolutely. She sighed, she would need to work things out quickly since she would be sent back to the Abbey shortly and she wouldn't be able to stay there for long.
With her heart aching with sadness, she knew she would have to find a way to gently say her goodbyes to the children. If only she hadn't embarked on this hare-brained scheme with the fake dialect. What on earth had she been thinking, she wondered for the hundredth time. Like many of her impulsive actions, it had seemed like such a good idea at the time.
But worse than her own troubles was what the Captain had told in his study this evening. He was going to send the children away for their own safety before the Anschluss. She despaired to think of the children separated from their father and their home. There must be a way for them to all stay together.
The most disturbing part was the thought of the Captain remaining behind to face the Anschluss and defend his country as he felt duty-bound to do. He had the courage of a lion, but surely he must see his first responsibility was to his motherless children?
If only Maria could stay longer to persuade him to leave with the children. She felt the fear of something happening to him clawing at her heart. With those distressing thoughts she finally drifted off to sleep.
She awoke with the heavy weight of desolation smothering her. It was later than usual, but she since she had already told Herr Detweiler she would miss her morning music lesson, it didn't matter.
With grim determination she masked her despondency as she helped the children through the morning routine. Her aching heart found a balm in Marta and Gretl's loving affection and their ceaseless morning chatter. She couldn't resist hugging them extra tightly, which they returned enthusiastically with their soft little arms squeezed around her neck.
Louisa and Liesl too, hugged her joyfully when she told them that their father would not send them to Finishing School against their will.
"You mean Father is not going to send us away?" Liesl asked ecstatically. Before Maria could respond, she continued. "Oh thank you Fraulein Maria! I knew you could work miracles with him. You're the only one he listens to."
"Well, Liesl, he's not going to send you to Finishing School in Switzerland, but-" She really didn't know how to continue. It was not her place to tell them they would all be sent away anyway, for their own safety.
Louisa interrupted with relish. "What did Baroness Schrader say when he told her? I bet she was furious," she said gleefully. "I wouldn't want to be in Father's shoes. Father can be terrifying when he is angry, but she is much meaner."
Maria scolded her gently. Whatever her own thoughts about whether the Baroness would be a good mother for the children, she needed to find ways for the children to bond with the Baroness if she was going to marry the Captain.
"Now, Louisa, you can't talk about the Baroness like that. She did try very hard to do something for you girls that she thought you would be happy about."
Louisa looked like she was going to disagree, but stopped at the look in Maria's eyes.
Maria continued, "And for the moment please don't say anything to the Baroness. Your father hasn't had a chance to tell her yet."
It didn't dampen the girls' joy. She watched as the two girls linked hands and did a jubilant little dance in circles. Amidst peals of laughter they made up an extra verse to their My Favourite Things song:
"Not going to finishing school, and staying here in Aigen,
A father who listens, and a Baroness we frighten,
Uncles with puppet shows, and a governess who sings
These are a few of my favourite things"
Maria tried not to laugh. "Perhaps you shouldn't let anyone else hear that version," she advised wryly. "We got into enough trouble the last time we sang that song," she reminded them.
The girls just laughed happily. Now that they knew that their father wouldn't force them to go to Finishing School it already seemed like a lifetime ago that he had behaved like a bad-tempered autocrat.
Despite their delight over their reprieve, Maria knew that their joy would be short-lived. They did not know yet that would all have to leave Austria soon. And with a sickening jolt she remembered that she would be saying her goodbyes to these wonderful children shortly. She felt the tears gathering in her throat. But she swallowed them down and kept up her smile bravely.
"Now, off to breakfast all of you." Maria was relieved that she managed to say the words without her voice breaking, even if her heart was. "I have a meeting with your father afterwards so please get started on your lessons without me."
Maria ate her breakfast dolefully in the kitchen with the other staff, barely able to eat with the dread lying like a heavy stone in her stomach. Afterwards, with her heart thudding with anxiety, she took a deep breath and knocked on the Captain's study door.
He looked up when he saw her. Leaning back in his chair, he silently watched her with an unreadable expression. His fingers were steepled in a distinctly Machiavellian way as he rested his elbows on the armrests of his chair.
Maria swallowed painfully. "Good morning, Captain."
After a pause, he inclined his head mockingly. "Good morning."
There was irony laced through the words. It wasn't going to be a good morning at all, Maria knew.
He got up from his chair to move around his desk and leaned against the front of it, with his arms folded in an intimidating way. Maria stood before him, like a prisoner in the dock.
"Well Fraulein, what have you got to say for yourself? I think you owe me an explanation don't you? Why have you been pretending to be someone you aren't and why the ridiculous phony accent?"
Maria took a deep breath and the words rushed out. "I'm sorry sir, it was a foolish thing to do, I don't know what came over me. But when Eliza lost her job, well I was so cross and I didn't think that-"
"Wait Fraulein, I don't understand," the Captain interrupted impatiently. "Who is this Eliza and what the devil has she got to do with this? You had better start from the beginning," he told her irritably, his brows furrowed.
Maria twisted her hands together, feeling wretched, but at the same it was a relief to finally let go of her deceit.
"On the day I was coming here to work for you I was in a teahouse in Salzburg and you were there with the Baroness and Herr Detweiler."
She watched as the Captain raised his eyebrows in surprise but he didn't interrupt. He waited impatiently for her to continue.
"While you were outside, a waitress, Eliza, spilt some tea on the Baroness. The Baroness, was er…upset with her." That was an understatement, Maria thought to herself.
She saw the Captain's mouth tighten into that familiar terse slant, but she wasn't sure if it was with anger.
"Go on," he said curtly.
"Even after Eliza apologised, well the manager of the teahouse fired her anyway. But it was really just an accident. Eliza was just nervous."
"I see," he said brusquely. "And what has all this got to do with your fake dialect?"
"Eliza's from the countryside and speaks with a strong provincial accent."
"Let me guess," the Captain interrupted sardonically. "She's from Alamy?"
Maria nodded guiltily.
She wasn't quite sure how to continue. Some of the things the Baroness had said to Eliza were shockingly unrepeatable and she did not want to cause tension between the Captain and his intended.
She said tactfully, "The Baroness said some things to Eliza about the way she spoke and well I got upset when I heard that... so I thought I would pretend to be like her."
There was a long silence while he watched her enigmatically. She shifted uncomfortably under his intense scrutiny.
"And what exactly did you hope to achieve by doing that, Fraulein?" he asked caustically.
"Well I thought it would show that people shouldn't look down on other people who come from humble backgrounds; that they can be just as intelligent and capable as anyone else."
She sighed miserably. "To be honest Captain, I don't really know what I thought. I just didn't think it through. Sometimes I get an idea and I can't stop myself any more than I can keep a wave upon the sand. I regretted it almost from the first day. I'm so sorry. It was so wrong of me."
The Captain moved away from his desk to start a slow pace around her, with his hands clasped behind his back, his face stern and his eyes hard.
The silence was unnerving. The minutes stretched out interminably.
"I expect you will send me back to the Abbey?" Maria blurted out, unable to bear the suspense any longer.
He stopped pacing to look at her broodingly, his gaze hooded. "I haven't decided what I am to do with you, Fraulein." He added ominously, "Yet." Then he continued curtly.
"But I am not so foolish as to try to send you back to the Abbey. I would have a full scale mutiny on my hands. I have no doubt that all my children,- even little Gretl, or should I say, especially little Gretl, - will pack their things and leave with you. My children love you Fraulein."
"I love them dearly too, Captain," Maria whispered, not quite able to comprehend that there was a possibility she may not be sent back, though a tentative feeling of hope was unfurling in her chest.
The Captain went on severely. "Your impulsiveness seems to have once again overtaken your better judgement. If you were a member of my crew you would be spending several unpleasant nights in the Brig, on dry rations, and then spending your days scrubbing the decks and cleaning the engines, without any prospect of shore leave." He looked as if the image was exceedingly satisfying.
"But I confess I am not quite sure what to do with disingenuous governesses. But you have my word I will think about it and find an appropriate penalty," he added with deliberate menace.
He resumed his pacing around her. "I suspect your conscience has been punishing you more severely than anything I could mete out. You are no doubt aware of the quote: "The wrongdoer is more unfortunate than the wronged.""
"Yes, sir, that was Democritus. He was right," Maria agreed fervently. Her conscience had been tormenting her since she arrived. She had felt as if she had the weight of the world on her shoulders at times.
"Quite frankly, deceptiveness clearly does not come naturally to you, Fraulein. You weren't even any good at it."
Was that a compliment? Maria wasn't exactly sure, but she said "Thank you sir," anyway. She got a snort in response.
Her curiosity got the better of her. "How long have you known, Captain?"
"Not from the first day certainly, but by the second day I had begun to suspect something was amiss. I chose not to confront you outright though; I was curious to see whether you would slip up. I confess I was also intrigued by your deception and it seemed rather er…." he searched for the right word, "… entertaining… to turn the tables on you."
He continued sardonically, "If you had read 'The Prince' by Machiavelli as I suggested to you, you would be aware of his precept that "It is double the pleasure to deceive the deceiver.""
Maria mumbled uncomfortably. 'I've read it already sir." She remembered how much the Captain had seemed to enjoy baiting her, toying with her, like a tiger with its prey.
"You should know Fraulein, under normal circumstances I would not tolerate such deception, but there are other factors I need to consider."
He sounded like a judge weighing arguments in court. "I am very grateful for what you have done for my children. You have brought music and laughter back into the house. I have not seen my children so happy since before they lost their mother."
He cleared his throat, almost hesitant for a moment. "Also… also, you have made me aware of my neglect of them and reminded me of the joy of being a father. For that I thank you. For those reasons I think some leniency is justified. Nevertheless I will think of some consequences for your actions."
Maria felt the elation bubbling in her chest mixed with a sense of disbelief. How could this have turned out so well, she wondered in astonished delight. It was more than she deserved, she acknowledged ruefully.
She said unthinkingly "I can't think what on earth Sister Berthe would have me do as penance for this transgression, Captain. She usually makes me kiss the floor."
She immediately blushed scarlet when she said kiss. The word seemed to explode between them, laden with potent meaning, and making the Captain's eyes drop involuntarily to her mouth. All of sudden Maria couldn't breathe as the Captain seemed unable to drag his eyes away.
She desperately tried to fight the heat that was enveloping her body. To her chagrin she knew only part of it was embarrassment, the other part was a deep awareness of him and a heady, intoxicating attraction that she seemed to be constantly fighting. Was he feeling it too? Surely not. He was nearly betrothed to the Baroness after all.
The Captain cleared his throat and with effort tore his eyes away from her and started pacing again. The hectic colour receded from her cheeks, though her skin still prickled with awareness.
"I am sure this Sister Berthe is my kindred spirit. She has my sympathies. Perhaps we could compare headaches one day," he responded dryly, but there was an unusual husky timbre to his voice.
After that he remained silent for some time and Maria wondered what he was thinking as he paced, flexing his fingers occasionally.
Finally he turned to look at her and she saw the devilishly provocative light in his eyes that had become so familiar to her.
"I confess, Fraulein, that I am surprised at what a snob you are."
For a moment she was speechless, her mouth open in outrage. "What?" she exploded. Of all the nerve! Even though she could see he was baiting her she couldn't resist objecting fiercely. "I am not!" she denied hotly.
He had that taunting little smile on his mouth at her reaction. "Aren't you, Fraulein? Perhaps I should clarify – you're an inverse snob. You automatically assumed that just because I am a wealthy man that I would look down on anyone less fortunate."
"No… I … that is…." Maria floundered to a halt, the indignation seeping out of her. He was right: she had assumed the worst about him before they had even met. But that was only because of the Baroness' behaviour to Eliza.
"You're right Captain, I did assume that," she said honestly, contritely. "I'm sorry."
The Captain raised astonished eyebrows. "Good Lord, that was easy. I was expecting more of an argument from you." He seemed disappointed that he couldn't provoke her into a clash of swords.
He continued on regardless. "Still, there are more pressing matters to attend to. Now, about this waitress…..er…" he snapped his fingers trying to recall her name.
"Eliza, sir."
"Yes, this Fraulein Eliza. You say she lost her job because of me?"
"Well no sir. It was more…." She trailed off not wanting to implicate Baroness Schraeder. "The manager was afraid he had offended the Baroness because of Eliza's clumsiness."
"I see." He stopped pacing to rock on his heels for a moment, lost in thought.
Maria waited patiently, wondering what he was thinking about, but was confused at his next words.
"Well we had better do something about that hadn't we?"
"About what sir?" Maria looked at him, perplexed, not understanding what he meant.
The Captain rolled his eyes. "This Fraulein Eliza, we had better find her and see if she is alright and perhaps find her a new job if necessary," he explained impatiently, as if he couldn't understand why Maria was so slow to grasp something so obvious.
Maria stared at him incredulously, exhilaration surging through. He was going to help Eliza? For a moment she couldn't believe it. How wonderful! How on earth had she thought that he would be indifferent to the poor young woman's plight.
She acknowledged to herself again that she had badly misjudged the Captain. Perhaps not so much the Baroness, but definitely the Captain. It had been obvious from the beginning that the Captain was not a snob. He hadn't fired her over the way she spoke, for one thing.
"Really Captain?" she asked, elated. "Why that would be simply marvellous. Oh that's ever so kind of you." Maria clapped her hands together joyfully, delight shining in her eyes.
For a moment she almost thought that he was struggling to maintain his stern façade and prevent a smile from forming. But she must have been mistaken.
He said neutrally, "Right get your things. I am sure Liesl can supervise the children in their studies this morning."
"Now, Captain? We're going now?" Maria squeaked in surprise.
She wasn't quite sure she could keep pace with everything. She had been convinced that she would be fired on the spot once she confessed. She had even packed her meagre possessions into her battered carpet bag in preparation. But now, not only had she not been fired, but the Captain was actually going to search for and help Eliza. It was too good to be true.
"There's no time like the present Fraulein. I'll get the car. Be ready in 5 minutes, sharp."
Before she could stop herself she said cheekily "Aye, Aye Captain," and gave a jaunty little salute.
The formidable expression remained on his face, and she fled as he raised haughty eyebrows at her. No doubt she was pushing her luck. But this time she was sure that she had seen a definite twitch of his mouth.
In her room she rushed around, but she did find time to kneel in prayer.
"Dear God, thank you so much for this wonderful outcome. It was more than I deserved. I beg your forgiveness for my deceit. Please guide my footsteps and I promise I will try harder to follow the path you have chosen for me. In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost, Amen."
She jumped up, her heart full of anticipation. Now to find Eliza!
ooooOOOOoooo
A/N: Thanks so much for the very kind encouragement so far.