Title: A Little Something Called Forever

Author: Sara and Lizzie

Rating: T for language, and sex

Disclaimer: We don't own Grey's.

Summary: Three years ago, Derek moves to New York with Addison. He finally decides to leave her upon hearing that Meredith is getting married

Author's Note: We're slaves to your opinions, and we need reviews. Ok. It's been a while. But we started college, but we promise we'll be updating this, "Sound and Fury" and "The Best Laid Plans". At least as much as possible. Anyway, REVIEW or we'll kill ourselves.

Extra Special Author's Note: The next few chapters are going to follow a party the night before the wedding rehearsal, and also the rehearsal itself. There will be times and a date to avoid confusion, and also, this is the good part.

"You're laughing out loud, at the thought of being alive, and I was wondering, could I just be you tonight?" –Matchbox Twenty

Friday, June 28 8:25 PM

Derek was unaware of what he was doing. He half realized that he was in Meredith's backyard. At her party. All he could do was turn over everything he had said to her in his brain.

Meredith was despondent. She felt dazed or stoned, or something. She was, once again indifferent to the emotions swirling around her. It had been four hours since they had shouted and hurt each other, and she was numb.

She looked at Derek. He was pale and wringing his hands together. Meredith regarded him as though he might have a breakdown. And she was jealous. He was obviously feeling everything she couldn't.

Derek looked like he was dying, but she felt frozen. She met Derek's eyes, and he gave her that look. She felt a wave of something, but she didn't know how to express it. She brushed hair off of her face. Her hands were shaking.

Derek got to be wrecked and ruined, and he got to feel it. All she got were shaking hands.

Meredith shook her head and hurried away. She joined Paul talking to his co-workers and his parents.

Mark clapped Derek on the shoulder. "Hey buddy." He said.

"What are you doing here?" Derek asked, his tone surprisingly sincere, without malice.

"She invited Addison and I yesterday. What the hell happened to you, Derek?"

He sighed. "We had a fight. A big one. And then we had sex."

"You didn't make up?"

"Hardly."

"Why do it, Derek? Why go through it?"

"I love her." The two men regarded each other, and each nodded, letting the past seeping into the past.

Meredith excused herself and headed inside. She ran up to her room, and leaned against the door, still not feeling much of anything at all. There was a knock. She moved.

"What's going on, Mere?"

"I fucked up, Cristina."

Cristina smiled. "Well what else is new?"

"Did you see Derek?" she asked. "He looks dead."

"You look…cold."

"My hands are shaking. That's all."

"What happened?" Cristina pressed.

Meredith shrugged and held up her hands. "Look at them."

"Meredith, you're not making any sense."

"I hurt him, Cristina. We hurt each other. And I just wanna feel hurt. But I can't." She smiled without conveying any humor. "I can't feel a thing. Except my hands."

Addison stuck her head in the room. "You all right, Grey?" she said, the last name now more a term of affection than anything derogatory.

Meredith fell backwards onto her bed and stared at the ceiling. Cristina and Addison exchanged looks. Addison sat down on the bed. "Meredith." She said gently. "Everything you've always wanted, everything you fought for, begged for? It's sitting in your back yard."

Meredith put her hands over her face, unable to absorb all of this.

"He lied to you. And then he left you. He fucked up. So have you." Addison's voice was harsher now. "But now he's back, and he loves you. And you're pretending not to care. So not only are you a liar, but you're not who I thought you were. Grow up, Meredith. Take some responsibility."

She got up and turned to leave. "Addison?" Meredith asked.

She turned around and crossed her arms, waiting. "What do I do?" Meredith asked in the same, detached voice she'd be using all night.

"I can't tell you that. I can only tell you that right and wrong aren't always black and white." This time she really did leave.

Meredith turned to Cristina. "No wonder Derek called her Satan."

Cristina shook her head. This lack of emotion was disturbing, even for her. She got up and made her way back outside. She grabbed George's elbow and pulled him away from Callie.

"Code blue." She muttered.

He raised his eyebrows. "Meredith." Cristina clarified. "She's slipping into no man's land." George knew what that meant. It was the place she'd been for months after Derek left. Self destructive and apathetic.

He turned to go into the house, but halted. "I think Shepherd's already on it." He said, watching Derek jog toward the stairs.

Derek stood in the doorway. Meredith was sitting on her bed, her knees pulled to her chest. Her was completely stoic, but she was shaking. He sat down next to her and put a hand on her back.

"You look like shit." She told him, once again, taking in his pale, taut skin, and the hollow expression in his eyes.

"You look catatonic." He retorted. He pulled her close to him and put his arms around her. "I'm sorry." He whispered.

She shook her head. "My problems, my fault." Her voice was toneless.

He pulled away to face her, keeping a firm grip around her body. "Meredith." He said urgently. He gave a slight shake. "Mer, are you all right?"

She smiled the same smile she had given Cristina, devoid of humor and emotion. "I think I'm dying." She whispered. "But I can't feel a thing."

"Oh God." He whispered back, pulling her head to his chest again. He stroked her hair and muttered apologies to her. "I'm so sorry, Meredith. I'm so sorry."

"I didn't mean it. When I said at least I loved Paul. I didn't mean it."

He nodded. "I know."

"Here I am again." She whispered to him, almost nonsensically. "You're hurting. I hurt you. And you hurt me too. I just can't feel the hurt." He put his hands on her face, and looked in her eyes. They were utterly blank. Derek tightened his grip around her body. Anything to make her stop shaking.

"Meredith," he began. "I lo-"

"Please don't." she begged. "Please don't say it."

"I love you." He whispered. Tears leaked out of her eyes onto his shirt. "I know I shouldn't have come here. I know I manipulated you, and pushed you, but I love you." He kissed her head gently. "Just always remember that, Mer. I love you."

Meredith watched him get up and leave the room. She sat on her bed, an odd feeling of calm coming over her. There was once a time she never had any doubts that Derek was the one. The great love of her life.

It could have been true.