Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with JAG and make no money off of this.
A/N: I've no excuses.
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The poor lemon.
In the background there's gentle music playing. A light breeze is moving the leaves on the trees around me, every once in a while sifting through my hair or caressing my cheek. The first signs of fall are showing; no real chill yet but the evenings are no longer warm.
I've been sitting in the same spot for the better part of an hour, killing a lemon. What am I doing here, you might ask? Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies.
I'm sitting in a very nice place with a very nice person sharing very nice drinks and topics of conversation. Yes, I can actually keep up my end of the conversation while killing the lemon that was previously floating in an innocent manner in my drink of choice. I know. I'm amazing.
Joshua is his name. Josh to his friends. And he really is very kind and entertaining and good company, but I'm just not in the mood. So why the hell am I here? See, well, the professors at Harvard are still working on finding a way of saying no to Harriet. The research is in full swing, I'm assured.
Kind soul that she is, Harriet decided Josh is just the guy for me. Normally I would agree. He's bright, knows his own mind, respectful, entertaining, tasteful, quite easy on the eyes and not at all shy about showing his intentions and desires, as I found out after a couple of dates. But I digress, I was killing a lemon.
"I think you've killed it."
"Hmm?" I raise my eyes to his, then duck my head in embarrassment – I've been caught. "Yeah, I've managed to, quite effectively, don't you think?"
The conversation picks up again and I'm saved from further explanations.
The night ends with a long kiss against my door. I know he wants to be invited inside, but that's just not going to happen tonight and if my body language won't be enough, I'll make an excuse. Another brief kiss later, I'm relieved that the bright guy understands what I'd rather not express in words right now, and I slowly close the door behind me.
I'm an idiot, aren't I? I always long to have a significant other, and when I finally get one who's actually worth my time, what do I do? Analyze things to death, that's what I do.
You think all this sounds confusing? You don't know the half of it.
It's all his fault anyways. Harm. How am I supposed to sink into a man's embrace, taste his mouth, feel his figure... when all I can think about is his touch... his mouth... his figure... him. At least once each day, especially days like these, I have to physically hold myself back from calling him. I just want to hear his voice. I won't do anything stupid like confess my feelings or beg him to come over and show him. Though that would be nice... but I digress yet again; I was killing my love life.
Lying in bed, I can't help but think of him again. I swear I was trying not to. The way it feels when he holds me to him. It's been a very long time since we hugged really, but the memory of those few times is etched into my memory. As are the kisses we shared. I can practically taste him on my lips. Off I drift to my favorite dream land – no complications, just us.
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What's with the incessant ringing? Stupid phone.
"MacKenzie." I mumble into the earpiece.
"Uh.. Mac?" Quite possibly I'm still dreaming. I think I just hummed some kind of response, because he hasn't hung up yet.
"Past your bedtime already, is it, Jarhead?" I know he's laughing at me, can see his expression in my mind's eye – that adorable little grin of his.
"Mmm. All your fault anyways."
He laughs. "My fault? How could it possibly be my fault that you're already sleeping on a Friday night?"
"Ruined me for all other men." I bury my face into the sweetly scented pillow. I think the call ended, he's not talking anymore. Goodie, back to those nice dreams. I let the phone slip to the mattress. Wait, there's still noise coming from the thing. Might want to disconnect...
"...mean... Mac? Mac! Are you still there?" He's still on the line. Persistent squid. Can't say I mind his voice as a backset to my dreams, though.
"Yeah, Harm." I manage to mumble through his tirade.
"What did you mean... what you said... before..." He's so cute when he swallows his own words.
"None measure up." I bring my knees close to my chest, lying on my side. I take a deep breath. I'll just answer this and then he'll talk and I'll balance the phone against my ear and dream away. I convey my thoughts as they once again surface. "Your kiss... your touch..."
No fair. He isn't talking. "Harm...?"
"Mac..." I think he's having trouble breathing. That's not good; he can't talk if he isn't breathing. "I- I..." It isn't getting better.
"Breathe." I will him.
"I'm coming over." Much better; I won't have to balance the phone on my ear.
"Mm-kay." I think I disconnected the phone. Doesn't matter, it's under the bed now. And there he is again. This is such a good dream.
For an eternally lengthy time I view every side of him logged in my brain. Suddenly there's a feathery light touch at my lips. My tongue ventures to moisten them automatically. The touch moves to my cheek but I really don't want to wake up right now – such good dreams!
"Mac?" I smile – still my dream. He is sitting on the edge of my bed, leaning over me. I can smell him and feel his presence and I all but arch in pleasure. I need to feel him. My hands on his arms pull him towards me. "Harm."
With little say in the matter, he comes to lie almost completely on top of me and I sigh my contentment. Perfect. But this isn't quite enough. My eyes are closed but I feel his quick breaths on my lips and his nose just touching mine. I don't need my eyes open to find his lips; I've done this in my dreams so many times that it's more than natural by now.
There; that's all I need. His body pressed against me and his mouth on mine - his and no one else's. I'm kissing him and am being kissed by him; I'm drifting into deeper sleep. I try and cling to the dream, just a few more kisses before it ends. I gather his figure against me in my mind and let all thoughts, conscious or not, slip away.
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I slowly come awake from the rays of light warming and lighting my bedroom. I slept wonderfully; had such wonderful dreams. I smile into my pillow and squeeze it close to me, getting a moan in response. Hold on. Pillows don't moan. Oh my god.
"Harm?" I manage to squeak out.
He's not fully awake yet, I can tell, but he still grins and a second later I find myself on my back with him above me. My mind goes completely blank. Don't ever, ever move. He kisses my jaw under my ear and whispers a rough "Good morning, beautiful" in my ear. I melt even more, if that's even possible.
I have yet to regain my earlier train of thought and he rolls off of me to get up. I manage to hold back any vocal expressions of my disappointment. I must get a grip. Harm spent the night here. I really was kissing Harm and holding him last night. I fell asleep. This is definitely one for the record books. I turn and bury my face in the pillow.
The mattress dips under his weight and I risk a glance his way. He's grinning widely.
"What're you grinning at, squid?" I fall back on the familiar banter.
"Don't mind me, just enjoying the view." He just winked at me.
I poke a finger at his chest with feigned annoyance. "First ruining any chance I had with any other guy, then taking advantage of me in my sleep... no boundaries with you, huh sailor?"
"Me?" He laughs. "You're the one who pulled me on top of you and kissed me senseless till you fell asleep in my arms!" His face is now inches from mine.
"Yeah, yeah, tell that to the court. Now how will I ever be able to be with another guy?" Yeah, that was a stupid thing to say, but I have to give him one final out before I chain him to my bed and never let him go.
His response comes in the form of a toe curling kiss first, and a verbal expression later. "You will never be able to be with another guy. Not if I have anything to say about it."
"Mmm. Sounds nice." I mumble before once again claiming his lips. Works just fine for me.
Poor Josh.
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The End.