May 6, 2006: Well, this is ready to post so I thought, why not:)

Please see Chapter One, Part One for the full statement regarding this story.

I will add that this story isn't likely to link Kitty romantically with anyone in particular. This story is more oriented to exploring Kitty Pryde, teenager and superhero, and attempting to make the comic book world seem plausible. Thanks for being patient with the story so far and I apologize if the number of characters gets confusing at all. 'Stream of consciousness' will do that to the author, too, lol... ;)

I will repeat that I have taken a few liberties with the Marvel Universe - not unlike Marvel ;) - but that it should still be recognizable. I do not own these characters and make no monies from writing about them. This is just for fun, folks. :)

I will also point out that this has not been Betaed so any errors are my own darned fault.

My thanks to those who have read and those who have taken the time to review. It is greatly appreciated. :)

Special thanks to one person in particular who is graciously reading and reviewing despite the fact that she doesn't know the X-Men at all. :)

Excelsior!

Smashing Through the Looking Glass

Chapter Three: Part One

Waking Nightmare

August 5, 2004, 7:02 PM

I am numb.

I am burning.

"Kitty, we think we've found Jean."

Kitty, we think we've found Jean.

Kitty, we think we've found Jean.

Logan grips my shoulders harder, perhaps in an effort to control my shaking. My knees are weak and I want to sit down, but that would mean the floor right now and I don't think I'd be able to get up again.

"Kitty, keep it together, kid."

"I'm not a kid," I mumble, staring straight ahead at the chest muscles I can see defined under his tank top. My brain tries to recall how all the muscles are connected, like an anatomy lesson, in a vain attempt to distract myself from Logan's news.

If I don't want to deal with something or I need to occupy my mind to stay awake, I tend to rely on my studies first. Often, I whip through the Periodic Table, and then I gnaw on the explanation of nuclear fission. I turn to hobbies next and name all the people who have ever been a member of the Avengers and the nature of their powers. This is closely followed by the names of the seven samurai - every interpretation - and all the movies connected with Jackie Chan. Next, I list all the characters in the entire series of 'Robotech' and how they are related to one another. When I'm desperate, I recall the names of the seven dwarves and Santa's reindeer.

I don't get far with my anatomy.

"Kitty!"

"Don't yell!" I yell. I glance up at him and figure I must look pretty pathetic. I lower my gaze to my sneakers. "I have a headache." Don't whine, Pryde. I don't want to depend on him to stop me from falling, but right now his hands seem to be all that's keeping me upright. I focus on the contact and try to draw strength from it.

"Kitty." Logan stops. "I ain't gonna hurt you. Stop shakin', girl." He moves his grip to my arms and lifts me onto a stool at the breakfast station. He props me there, moving my elbows to rest on the counter so I won't fall over. I let him do it, as if I'm a puppet and he has control of my strings. I'm aware he's getting a glass and going to the 'fridge. I hear ice clink into it from the dispenser on the door, hear water splashing against the ice. Silently, he hands it to me. The ice is cracking. I find the strength to close my hand around it. It's cold and it helps just to hold it, grounding me where the anatomy couldn't.

"Thanks," I whisper.

"No problem."

I take a sip. Some of it misses my mouth, but that's okay. It's only water. I'm still shaking and I have to focus to get it to stop. My head has gone from a Samba to a percussion convention. I use my free hand to massage my left temple.

"When?"

Pause.

"Two days ago."

I'm getting angry now. Something that's been building inside me, ever since the attack on the mansion, decides to release. I can see the mirrors in my nightmares and feel the eyes following me. Anger, terror, guilt, regret, despair…

"Why wasn't I told sooner?" I wait for him to continue, but he doesn't say anything. I take another sip of water. I try to calm myself and am strangely pleased when it doesn't work.

"Hello?" I say sarcastically, snapping my fingers in front of his face. I am completely out of my mind, doing stuff like that to one of the X-Men. Matsu would not be impressed. "Are you listening?"

He's looking at me intently again, in that scary way he did earlier. His nostrils flare.

"You haven't asked about her body," he says, eyes narrowing.

I return his expression. "That's because she isn't dead."

"And how'd you know that?"

"Because I'm psychic?"

"Don't get flippant, Pryde. It doesn't suit you."

"So how come you get to break the news to me? Did you get the short straw?"

His expression darkens. Good move, Kitty. Anger someone with anger management problems.

"Xavier got in my head. Asked me to do it, on the patio just now. Decided not to argue."

That must've been difficult for you, I say - in my mind and he can't read it. Nyah, nyah. Oh, how mature.

"I see. And you've known this for two days?"

"You don't seem overjoyed that she's alive."

"I don't like your accusatory tone, mister." I poke a finger at his chest. You could bounce quarters off those muscles. "I'm not overjoyed because something's wrong, very wrong, and if you don't spill soon, I'll run outside and give the Professor a demonstration of how upset I am, in the middle of the 'Welcome to Xavier's' barbeque and in view of all the caterers, too! What is wrong with you people?" I find my hand scrunching the fabric of his tank top and twisting. "Why wasn't I told?"

"You just were," he murmurs.

"And that's supposed to make it better?"

He eases himself back from me and perches on one of the other stools, but I don't let go of the fabric. It stretches between us. The tension in the air would need a chainsaw. A knife just wouldn't cut it. Did I pun again?

I slam down the water glass and miraculously it doesn't break.

"Bastard."

Logan reaches out to put a hand on me and I swat it away. Then I pull on his top and manage to dislodge him off the stool. A second of unbalance is all I need and I slap him on the shoulder. It feels very cathartic so I do it again and again and again. He's trying to restrain me but not directly trying to stop me from hitting him. I realize he doesn't want to hurt me and I feel empowered.

"Kitty, stop - Kitty, I know you're upset - Hey, that hurts, ya know! Kitty!"

He grabs my hips and lifts me from the stool. Now I can kick at his legs, too. He holds me tightly to him as he moves down the hall. It restricts my movements, so I bite the piece of flesh nearest to my mouth, which happens to be his shoulder. He roars and starts to jog and I stop biting and start screaming. My face is wet with tears by the time we reach the study, struggling through the door like a pair of wrestlers.

The Professor, Mr. Summers and Ms. Munroe are waiting for us, and I must say, they look very startled.

The Professor is probably the only one who knows how bad it is, and he still looks startled.

"Why didn't you tell us?" My face is red, I can feel it, and I'm not speaking in a sensible or respectful tone. "You've known she's alive for two days!" I grunt and push against Logan's chest. I might as well have been trying to move a mountain. "After what we went through, after all she meant to the students, you couldn't at least let Peter and I know?"

"You mean, after what you went through." Logan's voice is steady for someone who just carried a screaming teenager while running through halls filled with breakable objects. He's breathing a bit hard, but he hasn't reacted to when I kneed him in the groin. Tough guy. I'm still wriggling to get out of his grasp, wanting to be able to do so without phasing, like I'm trying to prove something.

"No, I mean 'we'! You were there! You know how frightening it was when they attacked! And then we spent two days in the woods being chased by soldiers. Peter and I were given the lead, but we all took part in keeping us safe. The kids were super! We were a team, damn it! We were X-Men! We deserve to know these things!"

"Something isn't right, Kitty," Ms. Munroe begins.

"I know that!" I twist and try to see the mirror over the mantelpiece. "Turn!" I order Logan, like he's at my beck and call. He frowns but turns and I look into the mirror. Dr. Grey stares back at me, her expression sad.

"Go away!" I yell at her.

Logan moves his head so he can look in the mirror, too.

"What do you see, Pryde?"

"I see her! I've been seeing her for weeks! She won't leave me alone, even in my dreams! They won't leave me alone!"

"'She'?" Mr. Summers comes around the desk to stand beside us.

"'They'?" Ms. Munroe also joins our little group.

"Kitty." It's the Professor, his cultured voice quiet and calming. "Please, tell us."

Everything? I ask - in my mind.

Yes, the Professor replies in kind. Everything, Kitty.

I sniff and move my right hand to wipe my face roughly. I blink at the four adults who are waiting for me to speak.

"She's there," I say, as if that tells them anything useful. I sigh. "Dr. Grey. She's in the mirror. Every mirror. Looking back at me, in her black leather X-Men outfit. I think I'm losing my mind, but I really don't have time for that so I just try to ignore her, or at least, accept that she's haunting me for some reason, and get on with my life."

I look at each of them, starting and ending with the Professor. "Welcome to my waking nightmare."

It is very quiet in the study as we stand before the mirror. I know they can't see her, and I have no idea how I can fix it so they can. The Professor, who is still behind his desk, says, "I can see what you see, Kitty."

"Thank you, God," I mutter, relieved. The world's most powerful telepath: for once, I'm grateful he's inside my mind.

"Jean is… in the mirror?"

"No, Scott," the Professor tells him.

I turn my head to look at our mentor. Logan hasn't let me go, but somewhere during the conversation, I stopped wanting him to. Now he's carrying me, his hands under my butt. My legs are wrapped around his waist, my arms around his neck. He doesn't seem to mind.

"Yes she is," I say, confused. Didn't he just tell me he could see what I see?

"No, not really." The Professor operates his wheelchair to move towards the fireplace. "To be brief, it would seem that Dr. Grey - Jean - has undergone a phenomenal change and entered a stage of her own evolution that none of us could predict." He stops beside us and I frown at him. He smiles slightly. "I promise I will go into more detail later. For now, understand this: she isn't in the mirror, Kitty. You see her there because of… traces that remain."

"Traces?" Logan looks at me and I turn my head to look back at him.

"She isn't in the mirror," Ms. Munroe repeats. Understanding changes her voice and from the corner of my eye I can see her face. Her eyes widen. "She's -"

"In Kitty," Mr. Summers finishes.

"Something of her, yes." The Professor sighs. "I didn't sense it."

"You weren't lookin' there, Chuck," Logan says roughly, his gaze never leaving mine.

"This is weird," I say. "So, is she in my dreams, too? 'Cause if that's her, she has company."

"Your nightmares?" Sheepishly, I nod. I know the Professor is going to give me a lecture when all this is done. I was supposed to keep him informed if they didn't stop. "She could be, but I don't understand why there would be others present."

"My nightmares are full of mirrors and something… watching. Lots of somethings. I identify Dr. Grey with the fire that comes."

The Professor starts. I break eye contact with Logan and, for some reason, I ask, "What is Jack's mutant ability?"

Logan tightens his hold on me. "Who's Jack?" he growls.

"What does this have to do with Jean?" Figures Mr. Summers would be too caught up in the news to think outside the box.

Ms. Munroe answers Logan even though she's still looking in the mirror. "Jack is one of the new students, Logan. Jack Lainsbury."

The Professor has paled considerably.

"Amongst other things, he has the ability to use mirrors as portals, to travel from room to room in a house, for example."

"Through the looking glass," I say.

Then something clicks.

"Whatever happens, don't let him use the mirror in Mr. Summer's office!"

"What?"

"Shut up, Scott," I snap. Why does my voice sound funny? "This is important." I focus on our mentor. "Whatever happens, Charles, do not let that boy use the mirror in Scott's office!"

"Jean -?"

"Warn him. Right now!"

Why is it so hot in here?

"Calm down, darlin'." Logan sounds understandably concerned. Absently, I wonder when I went from 'kid' to 'darlin''. I look at his face, our eyes meet and he stops breathing.

"I am calm, Logan. I'm serious. This is important. That mirror isn't safe." I turn my head to see Mr. Summers. Oddly, he stops breathing, too. "I'm sorry, Scott. I'm leading you on a merry chase, aren't I? I'm sure I'll see you soon." What am I talking about?

Logan starts breathing again, followed shortly by Mr. Summers, who has placed a hand on my shoulder. He's shaking. Before he can say anything, the Professor interrupts.

"Jean, tell us where you are and we'll come and bring you home."

"I don't know where I am." I find myself looking at the image of Dr. Grey in the mirror. "Oh, look. I'm Alice," I say, and pass out right there in Logan's arms.