DarkTaoAngel: Sorry if you're all getting tired of my comments at the beginning of each chapter, but I like writing them. Sorry for not updating for almost two weeks, even though that's not that long. I was camping, and it was really fun! Also, I am not getting as many reviews as I would have liked to (not that I don't like those I do get), and I would like to make sure you are all still into this story. Tell me what you think of it in a review, and also, please tell me if you have any ideas for it, as I am making most of it up as I go along, though I do have a general layout for it. Also, I know that Ren is supposed to be about 14 in this story, but he's actually 17 here for reading purposes. Oh, and I've collected a number of quotes that I like particularly from the book I wrote (not yet published) and a few of my fanfics. Tell me if you want me to post them sometime! Oh, and thanks to whomever reviewed telling me to change the conversation with Horo and Yoh, so that Yoh doesn't mention all that Ren had said/done before leaving. I think it makes more sense what they said, so I changed it ever so slightly. Thanks for the reviews, and sorry for the uber long authors note!

The next day Ren woke to find himself half buried under a thick sheet of icy cold snow. He was exhausted and freezing, now that the cold had begun taking its full effect on his body, and he really needed something to eat. The weather and his lack of nutrition was taking its toll on him and making him feel unbearably weak, but there was nothing he could do about it. All of the food he had brought, which was not that much in the first place, had been in the jet. And everything in the jet had blown up with it, except for Ren. It seemed that he had fallen out of the jet through the window before it had fully hit the mountain. Shen's body hadn't blown up with the jet either, but he had hit the mountain. Ren would have had the same thing happen to him had it not been for that window. If only his friend had done the same thing…

Ren brushed off as much snow as he could and leaned onto his knees, the blood slowly rushing to the rest of his body. His head hurt and his eyes burned from the bright whiteness of the snow. He clamped them tightly shut, hoping that this whole thing had been a dream, but as he opened them again he found that he was still facing the snowy desert that seemed to go on for millions of miles. He fell forward onto his hands and found that all of his weight pressed on his right arm, causing a sharp pain to shoot through it, but he felt nothing in his other arm. He hadn't really checked to see if anything was wrong, but he figured that, since he had nowhere to go and nothing to do, he would see if there was anything wrong.

As he looked, Ren saw small spots of black and blue going up his arm, and he knew these to be the first signs of hypothermia. There was nothing he could do about it, just hope that it didn't spread. Not that it mattered if he was to spend the rest of his days out in the cold, snowy abyss that was the Hidaka Mountains. He shook off the thought and went back to examining his left arm. He traced it slowly with his eyes and found that it bent out slightly more to the left than his other arm. He pressed his right-arm fingers to his elbow and found that one of the bones there was sticking out at an odd angle. He knew right away that his arm was broken, and he figured that it was time for him to find out what else was broken, too.

Ren looked over his other arm and both his legs and found them to be fine, if not a little weak. He thought that everything was fine, forgetting his troubles with pain the last two days, and attempted to stand, but found right away the source of his overall pain. His chest; his ribs. There were at least two of them that were broken, one on each side, and then he remembered it…

(Flashback)

Ren heard the storm outside the jet intensify, and he knew something was wrong. He attempted to leave the room and find the pilot, but he didn't even make it to the door before the jet tilted again and he was sent flying sideways. He looked out of the window, seeing a large mountain close by. It was getting closer, and Ren knew that the pilot could not avoid it from that distance. Grabbing a pillow from a nearby bed and covering his head with it, he prepared for the impact that he knew was coming…

As the jet collided with the mountain the southernmost window shattered, the one right next to where Ren was huddled, pillow above his head, fear showing in his magnificent golden eyes. He looked up to the window and ducked as it broke into millions of small pieces. The pieces cut his hands, which were holding the pillow in place protectively above his head, and the blood flowed onto said pillow, staining it from white to a deep red in color. The wind outside ravaged, tearing apart what of the jet the mountain failed to claim as its own. Ren attempted to move away from the window, which proved a futile attempt as the wind took him as its own as well…

Ren screamed halfheartedly, knowing it would get him nowhere as he fell, letting go of the pillow and clutching his head in his hands as he fell from the jet and collided quickly with the ground, landing facedown. Hearing an explosion from above him, he kept his hands above his head as the shattered pieces of the jet fell all around him. He could feel the bruises forming where he'd landed, and the snow quickly coated over his blood-caked hair. He felt pain shoot through him in his chest as he heard something crack, and he tasted blood in his mouth. He attempted to talk, but the blood filled his lungs, nearly suffocating him, and sending him out of consciousness…

(End flashback)

Ren groaned as he remembered what he had failed to before now. Seeing it in his mind was almost as horrible as feeling it had been, and the pain seemed to all come back upon the remembrance of that terrible, crippling pain. He was deeply surprised that nothing more had happened to him, but looking back on it he wished that something had. He would rather have taken the short amount of pain that came with that kind of death over the prolonged yet inevitable death that he was already facing any day.

(Page breaker)

"But Anna—" Yoh said, earning a left-handed slap from his angry fiancé.

"No buts, you still have cleaning to do, so you can't go." Anna said, walking out of the room before Yoh could protest again. Yoh hung his head, knowing that the chores she would put him through would be far worse than going out in the storm looking for Ren. But, there was no arguing with Anna. He would just have to tell Horo that he couldn't come.

Yoh walked into the next room, still moping that he could not come with on the rescue mission, and picked up the phone, dialing the number to Horo's place in Hokkaido. He heard a quiet voice come through the other end, so unlike Horo's voice. It was sad, listening to it, for it lacked all energy and happiness.

"Horo?" Yoh spoke into the phone, wanting to make sure that it was Horo who had picked up the phone. He heard Horo say 'yes' and he continued speaking, "What's wrong? You sound depressed. Did something happen?"

"Yeah. Today was the day of Pirika's funeral, and I had to say a big speech in front of everyone. I nearly started crying. And that isn't the worst part," Yoh leaned in closer to the phone to hear this part because of the static interference, "I found out the reason why she died. She was caught in the storm on her way to see me in Japan. She didn't make it, but the pilot did, and he had a phone to call my mom. And the storm has gotten worse since then. And Ren's out there all alone! Did you at least get the okay from Anna to go, because I want to get out there and start looking for him as soon as I can? It might be my fault that he's out there, and I want to make sure that he's alright." He said this part kind of rushed, but not nearly as quickly as Yoh spoke next.

"Sorry Horo, I can't. Anna's got me doing double chores, and she won't even let me out of the house. I tried talking to her about it, but she yelled at me. I really wish I could go, but I really can't. Tell Ren I'm sorry when you find him. Bye."

Horo hung up the phone slowly, whispering to himself, "Yeah, if I find him…"

(Page breaker)

Horo packed all of the clothes that he would need for at least two weeks aboard the small plane he'd rented, hoping that he wouldn't need to be out on it for that long, for he knew that Ren would never survive that long, no matter how strong he was. He knew he would find Ren, for he wouldn't stop until he did, but it was in what condition he would find him in that truly worried him…

The plane was smaller than Ren's jet had been, but it could cover more ground than a jet could, and it was cheaper to rent. There was one pilot, a tall, bodyguard-like man who never talked, but he wasn't mean. He was a family friend to the Usuis, so he didn't mind flying the plane at all. He was a licensed professional, so Horo was all set to find Ren. he pushed the thought of finding Ren dead out of his mind, knowing that if that was the case, he'd have to face it eventually anyway, and it was worse to think about it when there was still a slight chance that Ren would be alive when he found him. Yoh had said that Ren had left two days ago, and if he'd crashed in the storm or gotten hurt, out in that cold weather… Horo didn't like to think about what he might find.

Horo looked through his small pocket map of Japan, checking all of the areas where Ren could have crashed, if he had, and seeing that the first area on his map was right outside of Hokkaido, not that far from where he was, the Hidaka Mountains. He prepared himself mentally for the fact that Ren might not be there, or that he might be there. It was the latter of the two ideas that frightened him the most.

The plane took off, and Horo hoped that Ren would be there, alive. But the odds were not that good, and he had no idea how he would handle it if something had happened. He'd thought he was prepared, but he had no idea of how much more preparation he would need to face what he might have to.

"Ren…"

(Page breaker)

Is this how it's going to end? Cold, alone, hurt and starving? I'm weak, and I know that, but that doesn't matter to me anymore. I just wish… I wish this would all end. It hurts so bad… I tried to tell myself that the pain was nothing, I've experienced pain like this before, but not for so long. It just hurts too much…

Ren found his thoughts getting the better of him again, but there was nothing he could do. Stranded on a tall mountain alone with nothing else to do, thoughts were the only thing that he could resort to. But that didn't make the cold reality of those thoughts any less painful. Ren felt warm water falling from his face, and it felt good in the freezing atmosphere he was surrounded by. But why was he crying? He knew that he shouldn't be so selfish as to cry just because he couldn't get off of the mountain; because he was going to die soon. But he just couldn't take the pain anymore. He was still bleeding a bit from his arm where he'd cut it, and he knew he was bleeding inside, too. And it wasn't just physical pain either, it was mental also. What if Horo was mad at him? He'd never gotten to apologize to him, but he was beginning to think that wasn't the only reason he'd risked his life to go to Hokkaido. He really loved Horo, and he wanted to tell him that at least once. But the way things were, he'd never even get to see Horo again. He'd die before that could happen.

He'd since given up on finding anything to eat or any shelter. He didn't find any need to. Even if he found something to eat, chances were it wouldn't be that much, and he'd be stuck on the mountain until his friends found him. But he knew that they weren't even looking for him. They didn't know… they didn't care.

He had plenty of water all around him, but it was all frozen. He'd managed to thaw some of it out with the small blanket he still clung to at night, and he actually found that it melted enough for him to drink some. He knew that he could live longer without food than without water, and he could live for about two weeks without food. He didn't especially want to live, but he didn't want to die either. He was only seventeen after all; he hadn't lived as much as he would have liked to. He'd lost half of his childhood, and he still wasn't sure if his life was worth living. But that didn't stop death from being so scary.

Sure, the fear of the unknown was overwhelming to almost any human being, but this was different. It wasn't particularly where he was going that frightened Ren, but moreover what he was leaving behind. He still had so much to do, so much to say. He just wasn't ready to say goodbye forever yet.

Ren shivered slightly and cuddled closer in his blanket. Sighing, he tried to think of something to do that would take his mind off of the situation he was currently in. It was night at that point, and as he looked up he saw them. The stars.

There are no stars here in Tokyo, he remembered himself saying many years ago. But he had been wrong, there were stars, he just couldn't see them. He didn't know where he was, but atop these mountains he could really see them. They were especially bright that night, and there were millions of them sprinkled through the sky. He smiled a bit as he saw them, and for a moment he forgot about where he was. They brought back memories, and many of them. It was almost as though the stars held the memories, and when it was the right moment they played them back in the mind of the watcher.

Ren sighed contentedly as a shooting star came roaring through the sky. Make a wish. At first he didn't know what to wish for, and he kept thinking about what was really most important to him at that moment. Should he wish to somehow get to Horo to apologize? Or should he just wish to live through another day? He thought about it for a moment, leaning over slightly to keep the star in his range of vision. But that was just what set off another pang of pain in his chest. He put his hand to the source spot on his right side ribs, but could not stop the pain from coming. The star was moving away quickly, but he then knew what he was going to wish for. "I wish," he spoke aloud…

(Page breaker)

I wish… Horo thought as he looked out of the window of the small plane at a large shooting star. There was no reason for him to even think of what he wanted to wish for, because he already knew. That was why he was out there in the first place. I wish that I could find Ren soon… alive…

The plane was flying just outside of the Hidaka Mountains, which were quite large, and there had been no sign of Ren yet. Horo was extremely worried, though he didn't like to show it, but he still insisted of trying to keep his usual happy, enthusiastic attitude towards the situation. Though everyone and everything had pointed towards Ren already being dead, he still wanted to keep hope alive and try his hardest to find Ren… one way or another…

The plane turned sharply around the mountain so as to avoid hitting some part of the large stone, and luckily they didn't hit anything. The pilot of the plane was very expertly handling the situation, and he had thus far managed to get past the worst of both the storm and the mountain. The plane only had two rooms: one for the pilot, and one for the passengers. Horo was told to stay in the passenger room so that he didn't startle the pilot into crashing, but he was finding it quite lonely in that small room.

There were only five or so chairs to the room, one bathroom, and one small foldout couch. Horo was laying on the couch, as he had for much of the flight thus far, but in his haste he'd forgotten to pack anything to entertain himself. He had thought at first that he would find Ren right away and leave for Hokkaido after that. He never anticipated that finding Ren would be this difficult, not to mention boring. Until he found Ren he'd have no one to talk to, which disappointed him as he'd hoped that Yoh would have at least been able to come for part of the trip, and then they'd fly him home early or something when Yoh had to leave or when they found Ren. But even if Horo found Ren, Ren might not be in any condition for talking. But there was still the chance that he was, and that was all Horo needed something to keep himself hopeful.

Horo sighed and looked out the small window to his right. It was closed, but there were no curtains, so he could clearly see beyond the glass. There was still a lot of snow falling, though not as much as there had been earlier, and it looked as though they were pretty high up in the air. They would never find Ren if they couldn't see him. They had to fly lower. He called out to Akari, the pilot, and told him to fly closer to the mountain.

"But wouldn't that mean we'd be closer to the mountain and a large portion of the storm? We could crash!" the pilot answered him, his voice soft, yet it still held the strength to protest should he want to.

"I don't care!" Horo surprised himself by shouting at the top of his voice, "I'm going to find Ren, even if I have to fly this plane by myself!" he knew it was probably his fault that Ren was out there, fighting for his life. He fully blamed himself, although he didn't know all of the details of exactly why Ren had gone out in the first place.

The pilot didn't answer, but instead flew lower so that they were only about ten feet above the mountain. It was very dangerous, but the determination in Horo's voice had told him not to question his motives and instead comply with what he wanted.

Ren, I'll find you if it's the last thing I do…

(Page breaker)

Ren knew his chances of ever seeing Horo again were not very high, and he didn't even bother telling himself that he would get to see him again. He had stopped trying to convince himself that he would be fine, make it to Hokkaido safely, and tell Horo that he was sorry. He let his tears fall freely now, because there was no one around to see them anyway. No one ever would either. He thought about it, spending every last one of his days alone on that mountain. Alone, just as he had been all of his life. He had thought once that he wasn't alone, that he had friends that cared about him, but he knew that he was just fooling himself to mask the horribly real truth of it all. No matter how much he cared for someone, they would never care for him. That was just another part of being born into the Tao family. But it wasn't entirely the Tao family's fault, it was his own. He'd cared for Horo, fallen in love with him even, but he knew as he lay there that Horo would never want him around.

Horo didn't love him.

He didn't even like him.

Horo wasn't even looking for him.

He didn't know that Ren was out there anyway.

And he probably didn't even care.

No one cared.

Ren didn't even care anymore.

"I just w-wish that all of t-t-this pain would g-go away…" Ren stuttered due to the cold, and not even the blanket could provide enough heat to stop his shivering. He looked up at the sky and saw that the shooting star had gone already. He'd been too late to make a wish. He wasn't sure that he believed that whatever you want could come true if you wished to a specific star in the sky, but he was getting desperate.

Day three… he smiled to himself slightly; I won't have to stay out here for much longer. Of course, I could just speed up the process… That would be one way to stop the pain…

He searched for a moment, and then came across a sharp, jagged rock somewhere to his right. It was the same one he'd been cut with earlier, on his numbed left arm. He couldn't feel any pain on that arm, from his elbow down. He smirked again as he slowly stood up, supporting himself with his right arm. He shakily walked towards the rock, picking it up with his good hand. He smiled as he clenched it tightly in his hand for a moment, watching the blood trickle slowly down his arm. He was testing how strong and sharp it was. It would do the job perfectly. His smile widened as he thought about what he was about to do, and he was still smiling as he brought the rock sharply across his left wrist…

DarkTaoAngel: I was depressed when I wrote most of this, and I was also listening to the Titanic song 'My Heart Will Go On,' so that could be part of why this is so sad. But if you read through the summery and really think about it, you'll know what happens next in this story. Also, I would like to thank whoever offered to write the lemon for me, but I might write one on my own. I'll let you know when that time comes. Anyway, enough with the long author notes, just review please and let me know if you want me to write a lemon, alright?