Disclaimer: I don't own HP or anything to do with it.
(a/n) read the authors note at the end if u get confused.
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I Lily Evans am not the romantic type.
I think it all happened after my dad died and my mum started dating again.
To put it nicely they were all stupid, dirty, not very nice men who needed a life. Why my mother even dated them, to this day, I am still not sure.
First there was Willy. What can I say about Willy….Well he wasn't exactly the brightest crayon in the box. Willy was the kind to take mum to rock concerts with bands that nobody had ever heard of. Poor mum, she tried, she really did, I actually felt sorry for her when Willy was around. The best part about Willy was that he always set up a place for me and my older sister to go even though I was 11 and she 13. Sometimes we went with his sister to the mall or to see the newest movie. Febe was cool, we still spend time with her.
Then there was Justin. Justine was smarter then Willy. But not as nice. He tended to forget my sister and I existed. When mum was dating him I was 13, Petunia 15. He forgot Petunia's sweet 16 and tried to take mum out on a date. When I say take I mean literally. He threw a fit and tried to drag her out of the door. Mum punched him in the jaw. We never really saw him after that.
Then there was Matt. Matt was…well…for lack of a better word… a cheap drunk. Mum would give him a beer when he would come over after work and start getting all giddy. One time Petunia convinced him that he was sober enough to go out and buy her a 12 pack so she could go out with her friends. Mum wasn't to happy when she found out. Me?….well…he was quite funny at times.
Finally there was Richard. He is that man that I now call my step daddy. I call him Ritchie when I want something. He's a hopeless romantic. Just what my mum always wanted. Daddy wasn't big on the romantic stuff when he was alive, but when he did, he was…well…pretty hopeless. But that's besides the point. Anyway, Richard is a nice guy, really. He and my mum really do love each other, just not as much as my mum and my dad did. Richard gives in to our wants, tortures our boyfriends, and gives them the "dad" talk. But in all honesty, when it comes to his own sex he is pretty clueless. For one he actually likes the Marauders. And when I asked him, he gave me the stupidest answer known to man. Honestly my daddy could have done better. Do you want to know what it was? Really? You do? Alright fine, I'll tell you. He said…well…they reminded him of himself when he was that age. How in the world could a good guy like Ritchie over there compare himself to the Marauders! They are selfish, rude, mean, and cruel. Their major down fall however, is that James Potter is their ring leader. And that ladies and gents, is enough reason in its own. Why you ask? I am just 17 and have been asked to The Three Broomsticks, no less then six hundred and thirty three times. No more, no less, and six hundred and twenty two of those invitations all came from the same boy. James Potter. Of course I have had other interests but once a Hogsmead weekend comes around they all just 'happen' to have a sick aunt or something. I honestly cannot believe that man. There has to be something wrong with him. He can't be perfect.
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(A/N) okay...sorry it took me so long to do anything with this story but truthfully...after almost a year of not doing anything with it...it's a peice of crap. Thanks for saying it was good and you loved it an all but honestly. you didn't have to lie. So i decieded to edit it, and this story is going to be very lucky if the first chapter is not edited again, and he just might go through some major changes. as u may have noticed i took 'pooter', out of the story, and that is simply because i just can't believe i wrote that. :-). we'll try to keep it on the humorus side, but a tich more readable...what do ya say? thanks ya'll.
Mae